American Terror Tales 3 (2024) | If you’ve got an insatiable curiosity for how bad a horror anthology can get, click that Amazon link. You've been warned. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.1/10. I haven’t seen the first two American Terror Tales, but if this third installment is any indication, I’d wager they didn’t matter. At a merciful 58 minutes, this film is perfect for late-night viewing—if your idea of a good time is questioning your life choices and the laws of physics. To give you an idea of the amateur nature, IMDB says "Seven new tales of terror from the Heartland will rip your heart out." The trailer claims 8. Maybe the doll getting shot at the beginning was considered a tale of terror LOL.

Let’s start with the positives. The first story had a decent setup: three guys running a haunted house who take pride in scaring kids but get outdone by a group of unshakable young adults. That could’ve led to something cool. Instead, it led to the rest of the movie, which was as directionless as a GPS with a dead battery.

The "stories" (a term I use lightly) feel like half-written ideas someone jotted down at 3 AM and decided to film before having coffee. Several of them don’t even seem to end—they just sort of stop, as if the editor had a panic attack and hit "export" before realizing they forgot the climax.

Here’s a breakdown of the anthology’s greatest (lack of) hits:

• The Clown Story: Could’ve been creepy but forgot to develop an actual plot.
• The Locked-in-a-Room Skit: Had all the tension of an escape room where the door is already open.
• The Phone Chapter: Might still be buffering because it never reached a conclusion.
• The Alien Story: Briefly had a spooky street scene before being ruined by a finale that made even less sense than the rest of the film.
• The Painting Episode: Clearly existed to showcase an actress’s cleavage, but then never actually did—a missed opportunity on multiple levels.
• The Pedophile Pastor: If the goal was to be disturbing, it succeeded… but mostly because of the editing, which was so choppy it felt like watching a VHS tape someone recorded over six times.

And let’s talk about that one scene: A character falls out of a car or gets pushed, and somehow lands directly in front of the moving vehicle. I don’t know what kind of Final Destination-level physics are at play here, but Isaac Newton is rolling in his grave. (excuse to slide in the new Final Destination 6 trailer.)

The acting? Imagine a home movie where your friends do improv after a few too many drinks. The budget? Let’s just say I've seen Halloween decorations with more convincing production value.

American Terror Tales 3 (2024)

Should you watch American Terror Tales 3? Only if you’ve got an insatiable curiosity for how bad a horror anthology can get. Otherwise, do yourself a favor—skip the whole trilogy and watch ALMOST anything else. I think you know which movie that "almost" refers to.

Your sole choice for this winner is Amazon. Justwatch link in case that changes.

https://jackmeat.com/american-terror-tales-3-2024/