Blowie (2025) | The body count takes forever to start, but the tallywhacker count wastes absolutely no time. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 1.7/10. Sometimes I think I'm about to watch some obscure little slasher. This time I accidentally watched guy-on-guy porn with a horror movie tacked on the end. Blowie follows a group of adult content creators who rent a mansion in the middle of nowhere to film content. After a tragic (and pretty funny) accident, they're stalked by a doll-faced killer known only as...Blowie.

Yep. That's the premise.

I only pressed play because it sounded gloriously stupid, and at a brisk 75 minutes, I figured, "How much damage can it do?"

The answer? Plenty.

The movie opens with upbeat music and full frontal male nudity. Not in a sexy way—one guy's simply making a dash to the toilet. From there, we're introduced to a house full of adult performers, dildos scattered around for photo shoots, and enough softcore guy-on-guy content to make you wonder if you've clicked the wrong streaming service.

Meanwhile, one bloke is literally being suffocated with lubricant while lying on the floor, and somehow nobody notices. Horror movie logic is alive and well.

Then a new guy joins the house, more fetishes get filmed, and before long someone suggests dumping a body in the nearest pond. Congratulations, we've finally stumbled into a horror setup... except the movie still seems far more interested in filming content than creating suspense.

If you've ever wondered what happens when an OnlyFans shoot collides with a bargain-bin slasher. I'll stop there because, NO, you haven't. But if so, this is it. I've seen horror movies with less nudity. And I've seen porn with a better plot. I lost count of the tallywhackers on screen. Bonus points if you know which classic comedy made "tallywhacker" part of my vocabulary.

The funniest part?

The filmmakers appear to remember they were making a horror movie at almost exactly the one-hour mark. Up until then, it's mostly adult content with occasional reminders that someone brought a killer along.

Once the kills finally arrive, they're practical enough. There's a little splatter, but nothing memorable. The mansion itself is probably the best thing in the movie.

Trying to find positives became a horror movie in itself.

To its credit, Blowie does attempt to make a point about the financial insecurity of digital sex workers and payment platforms freezing creators' income. It's a message that's understandable, but it's delivered with all the subtlety of a brick through a window. It never connected with me because I didn't give a crap about any of the characters.

In the end, Blowie somehow fails as both horror and comedy. The scares arrive far too late, the kills aren't worth the wait, and if you came looking for a slasher, you'll spend most of the runtime wondering when it plans to start.

If, however, your idea of a good time is watching a group of untalented performers make adult content before a killer briefly crashes the party...

Well, congratulations. You've finally found your movie.

Blowie (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/blowie-2025/

The Boogeyman (2023) | Every grieving family in horror should seriously consider moving into a brightly lit apartment instead of creepy old houses. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. The Boogeyman had me thinking one thing as soon as the credits rolled. This is a really well-made horror movie...that I doubt I'll remember in six months. Everything works, but almost nothing struck me as "fresh".

The story involves the two sisters named Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair), mourning the loss of their mom, while their dad (Chris Messina) tries his best to keep them all together. What else could possibly go wrong? How about an evil entity deciding that their home was just the right place to settle in?

One thing The Boogeyman absolutely nails is the mood. Stephen King has always been a master of that, and this short story is no exception. Rob Savage is adept at creating suspense, and the filming makes good use of darkness without making it impossible to see anything. Imagine that. We are able to see what's trying to kill everyone. This film keeps you constantly scanning the background for movement, and it will keep you looking over your shoulder.

Thatcher easily stands out as the anchor of the film. She sells the grief, frustration, and fear in a way that feels genuine without becoming that annoying drama. The rest of the cast does a solid job as well, even if the script doesn't always give them a lot to work with.

Of course, as soon as the fear wears off, The Boogeyman begins to tick off clichés in its own little box, one by one. Those of you who have seen plenty of supernatural horror movies will definitely recognize everything that is going to happen well in advance of the characters in the movie. The Boogeyman itself is pretty scary, although it does not really have much more than just being some shadowy beast hanging around in dark corners. But then again, who expects a resumé from the Boogeyman? It's basically every parent's emergency bedtime threat finally getting its own movie, again.

I wish the film had focused a bit more on the psychological side of grief. It flirts with some interesting ideas about trauma feeding the monster. Unfortunately, it cannot help itself and just flips back to the tried-and-true jump scares.

Despite its flaws, The Boogeyman is quite entertaining. Once again, Rob Savage has shown that he knows how to make good use of his talent and create a scary movie with good visuals and atmosphere. Though it might not be groundbreaking and memorable enough, for those who look for a well-made supernatural horror movie that has some decent scare factors, there is enough in The Boogeyman to switch the lights off. At least until bedtime.

The Boogeyman (2023)

https://jackmeat.com/the-boogeyman-2023/

Scared to Death (2026) | Horror movies really need to stop proving that séances are the worst group activity ever invented. Maybe just play Uno instead. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Two years it took Scared to Death before it showed up in front of us. Is it worth the wait? Sure, sorta. But don’t expect something revolutionary to come out of this haunted house flick.

Jasper (Olivier Paris) is a struggling young filmmaker trying to break into the directing world and finds himself at the right place after finding an abandoned children’s home that has been abandoned for 70 years. Then caretaker Felix (Bill Moseley) suggests they hold a séance while they're there. Because nothing says "this'll be fine" quite like willingly inviting ghosts to the party.

The movie begins with an old newspaper clipping about five orphaned children who were terrified, with the headline Scared to Death. It is an easy way to start a story, and after the séance begins, this little historical item becomes relevant again.

Then there's Lin Shaye as director Max. She reminds Jasper he isn't the producer. He's the PA. And she doesn't exactly sugarcoat it. Seriously, I could watch Shaye insult people for 90 minutes and still have a good time. Even when she's being an absolute bitch, she's brilliant.

One of the funniest moments comes early when Felix jokes with Jasper about someone called The Grog (Kurt Deimer) being horror royalty. Hearing Bill Moseley say that had me laughing. Mate...YOU'RE the horror royalty. Between The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and The Devil's Rejects, you've earned the plate. To lick. Click to understand my joke.

The rest of the crew is introduced, including Lena (Victoria Konefal), who has "final girl" written all over her from the second she appears. She's even playing the final girl in the movie they're filming, Dead House. Subtle? Not even close, bud. Man, I am full of movie quotes tonight,

As the séance begins, Felix produces the same newspaper clipping about the orphaned children being found dead in the attic. Champ (Jade Chynoweth) suddenly decides that "stoners and spooks don't mix" and heads for the exit. Fair enough. I'd probably make the same decision...although we soon find out she isn't being entirely honest.

Can we all agree that creepy kids are basically horror's cheat code? Give them weird facial expressions, have them stand silently in a hallway, and job done. Instant nightmare fuel. The film gets plenty of mileage out of that, and Shaye absolutely sells the fear. The makeup effects on her are pretty solid, too.

I also liked that they threw in a bit of comedy between the scares. It gives the whole thing an old-school ghost story vibe instead of relying on jump scares every five minutes.

Then we get to the ending.

For one glorious moment, I honestly thought, "No way...they're actually going there." I was ready to applaud the filmmakers for having some serious balls. Then...they bottled it. No spoilers, but you'll probably know the exact moment if you check it out. It was such a disappointing cop-out because I thought for sure they were about to do something memorable.

Scared to Death (2026)

Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye carry this movie harder than the ghosts do. Without those two, my score would be quite a bit lower. As it stands, Scared to Death is a fun enough haunted house flick with some laughs, creepy kids doing creepy kid things, and a finale that needed to grow a backbone.

https://jackmeat.com/scared-to-death-2026/

Man of War (2026) | If you've been missing those old-school rescue mission action movies, Man of War scratches that itch without reinventing the genre. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. There are bad days, and then there are "your aid worker friend calls to tell you Russia has invaded Ukraine before immediately getting kidnapped" bad days. Man of War doesn't waste any time getting to the action.

It opens with radio chatter announcing the invasion of Ukraine before giving us a sweeping aerial shot of Barcelona on February 24, 2022. Down below is Connor (LaMonica Garrett), doing his best impression of someone who's holding the last bottle of booze on Earth. Sure enough, his phone rings. Riley (Rosmary Yaneva) calls to say the Russians have crossed the border, and moments later she's dragged away by armed militants.

Helpful bunch too. One of the kidnappers even grabs the phone long enough for Connor to get a good look at him. That's either incredibly arrogant or surprisingly accommodating. Either way, if you've ever watched an action movie, you already know the next step.

Connor calls his old CIA contact Charlie (Jason Patric), demands a flight into a freshly invaded war zone, and before long they're on their way to Kyiv. Once there, he's teamed up with local guide Dany (Andrew Howard), who quickly learns Connor isn't the type to stop and negotiate. The local mafia certainly finds that out the hard way.

Filmed in Bulgaria, Man of War actually does a respectable job selling the illusion of a devastated Ukraine. The production design carries more weight than you'd expect, helped by the involvement of Ukrainian refugee actors whose real-life experiences inspired many of the small background details throughout the film. Those touches give the setting an authenticity that stands out more than the fairly standard rescue mission at its core.

Connor eventually joins forces with a hardened team of private contractors led by Bunny (Linds Edwards) as they push deeper into occupied territory. Their target is Koniev (Daniel Bernhardt), the mercenary commander responsible for Riley's capture. What follows is exactly what the trailer promises. Artillery barrages, drone strikes, collapsing buildings, and enough bullets fired to make you wonder where they are carrying all these magazines.

Garrett makes for a likeable lead, similar to his take on Lioness. Bernhardt is always welcome, especially when he turns up as the villain. Director William Kaufman keeps the action moving at a brisk pace, even if the story rarely surprises. Every beat feels familiar, from assembling the team to the inevitable final assault on the enemy stronghold.

I honestly kept expecting Michael Jai White to stroll in because this has that exact STS action feel of many of his recent films. That's not necessarily a bad thing if that's what you're after. Man of War delivers plenty of shootouts, explosions, and tough-guy one-liners without pretending to be anything more.

Man of War (2026)

It's my definition of an average action flick. Nothing terrible, nothing particularly memorable either. If you're looking to switch your brain off for 110 minutes and watch heavily armed people solve every problem with more gunfire, it'll do the job just fine.

https://jackmeat.com/man-of-war-2026/

Passenger (2026) | Passenger proves the quickest way to summon a demon is ignoring literally every piece of travel advice you were just given. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.7/10. You know those road safety ads that tell you to stay alert. Take regular breaks. Watch out for hitchhikers? Passenger takes that advice, cranks it up, and basically says, "Also…maybe don't pick up ancient demons."

The film opens with a bit of travel safety exposition. Followed by an introduction of two friends heading down a regular highway. Lucas (Miles Fowler) takes a potty break, but when he comes back to his car, Daniel (Alan Trong) is nowhere to be found. Open doors, blaring horn, and the creepy meter goes off in the red. It's a good start that grabbed my attention from the get-go.

Six weeks later, the focus changes to Maddie (Lou Llobell) and Tyler (Jacob Scipio), her boyfriend, who have been enjoying the #VanLife dream. At a meetup known as Burning Van, they get a tip, which could easily grace an inspiring travel coffee mug: "People don't take trips…trips take people." The quote is incredibly unsettling, except for one thing. The movie immediately ignores its own rules.

They're specifically warned not to drive at night because that's when the Passenger is strongest. So naturally, veteran traveler Diane (Melissa Leo), who has supposedly survived this nightmare for years, turns around moments later and says, "Let's hit the road...tonight."

That's the horror equivalent of surviving every Nightmare on Elm Street movie and deciding, "You know what? I could really go for a nap."

The movie never really explains what the Passenger can and can't do, which becomes increasingly frustrating. This thing seems capable of manipulating reality, turning day into night, appearing anywhere it wants, and generally playing by whatever rules the script needs at the time. If it can literally change the time of day, rerouting a few roads shouldn't exactly be beyond its skill set.

That also raises another question. At one point, they mention they're "making good time," but...toward what? Nobody seems to know exactly where they are going. Kinda like patting yourself on the back for winning a race without a clue of where the finish line is.

Still, for all its questionable logic, I found myself enjoying the ride.

The religious myths and demons provide some background other than your basic story of a haunted road, and I did find myself wanting to know more about the Passenger. The mood is set nicely because of good lighting, angles of the camera, and good use of dark scenes.

The scares are a mixed bag. There are more jump scares than the movie probably needs, but they are generally well done since the sound design is very effective in creating suspense prior to the scare. Even when you know something is coming, the audio still sets you up.

Unfortunately, the ending goes a little off the rails. Rather than delivering a satisfying payoff to the mythology it spends the film building, director André Øvredal swings for something much bigger and stranger that didn't quite land for me.

Passenger might not be breaking any ground in supernatural horror territory, nor will its characters ever earn their AAA membership in making decisions, but this is still a fun film to watch. The mood, imagery, and mythology work wonders to compensate for the story’s tendency to create rules on the fly. While Passenger might very well be your typical horror flick, it’s one worth watching. Even if I was occasionally yelling at the screen to stop driving into obvious danger.

Passenger (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/passenger-2026/

The Furious (2025) | It doesn't reinvent the revenge movie, but when the fights are this good, why would you care? #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.7/10. The Furious begins somewhere in Southeast Asia...at least that's what the text on the screen tells me. We meet a journalist investigating missing children who's on the phone with her partner because, apparently, she hasn't been home in a while. Instead of waiting for backup, she decides to investigate alone. You can probably guess how well that goes.

After a fantastic opening fight scene ends with her staring down an arrow, we cut to Wang Wei (Miao Xie), a mute handyman living a quiet life with his daughter, Rainy (Enyou Yang). If you've seen even one revenge flick, you already know where this is headed. Sure enough, Rainy is kidnapped, and since the police cannot do shit, Wei takes matters into his own hands.

His first lead takes him to, wait for it, a cage-fighting bar. LOL. Apparently, every criminal hangs out there waiting to be interrogated. At least Wei remembered his steel-toe boots this time. Since he can't speak, his version of questioning people mostly involves punching them until someone gives him an answer.

Also looking for answers is journalist Navin (Joe Taslim), whose wife has mysteriously disappeared (opening scene). Naturally, the two future allies have to beat the crap out of each other before realizing they're chasing the same bad guys. Action movie rules.

I wasn't as familiar with Miao Xie, but Joe Taslim has already proven himself in The Raid: Redemption and the recent Mortal Kombat II, so you know the fight scenes are going to deliver. Then they throw Yayan Ruhian into the mix as Tak, and now you've got two Raid veterans sharing the screen.

The whole movie has a dark and gritty look. Makes sense. It is about child trafficking. To describe the police chief as corrupt would be the understatement of the year. And once wealthy crime boss Paklung (Joey Iwanaga) completely loses his mind after his scheme begins to unravel, the body count ramps up in a hurry.

The action is where The Furious really shines. Bones break, bodies fly, and the choreography is excellent throughout. Rainy's motorcycle scene pushed things a little too far for me, but it's a minor complaint in an otherwise impressive action film.

Since we have two good guys, we get two final fights going on simultaneously. Having two fights of this caliber going on and mixing partners/opponents as it goes is worth the price of admission alone. Throw in another character looking for revenge, and it turns into an absolute martial arts showcase for a finale.

The Furious (2026)

The Furious isn't trying to reinvent the revenge genre, but it doesn't need to. If you're looking for a brutal martial arts movie with fantastic choreography and enough broken bones to make an orthopedic surgeon rich, this one absolutely delivers.

https://jackmeat.com/the-furious-2025/

House Sitter (2026) | House Sitter has way too much talky talky and not nearly enough stabby bloody. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.1/10. House Sitter kicks off with wealthy homeowner Harold Finch (David Varrieur) giving Kayla (Jenna Forcier) the grand tour of his mansion, complete with warnings about sticky doors and making sure everything stays locked. It's meant to build tension. Instead, it immediately introduces the biggest horror of the movie. The acting. If first impressions matter, this one trips over the front doorstep.

Kayla rounds up her friends for what should be an easy house-sitting gig. First is Dani (Cristina Méndez), who works at an actual comic book shop, which was a fun little touch. Then there's boyfriend Blake (Evan Eiglarsh), an influencer whose first priority is filming content around the mansion. The moment he started posing for the camera, I was rooting for the masked killer. If your biggest personality trait is "don't forget to like and subscribe," horror movies have traditionally had a solution for that.

Unfortunately, the potential victim list is tiny. Three main characters, one creepy house...and maybe a pizza delivery driver if we're feeling generous. It's hard to build suspense when you can practically count the remaining survivors on one hand before the opening credits have settled.

For an 87-minute film, House Sitter looks like it’s trying to get out of being a horror movie as soon as possible. The dialogue in this movie is terrible. It consists of pointless conversations that don’t lead anywhere. Characters are talking just for the sake of talking as per the script.

The pizza delivery driver gets a bizarre little sequence where he blasts heavy metal while yanking the steering wheel around like he's trying to beat Need for Speed. It adds nothing to the movie, but at least someone was having fun. Not me.

Not until the 35-minute mark does the first kill occur, and when it does, it's just lame. The horror junkies are left asking themselves whether or not they have started watching the film or the making-of featurette.

Of course, this is yet another modern horror movie in which everyone has a drone since we are treated to the obligatory aerial shots from up above. These days, drone shots have become just as common in indie horror movies as terrifying masks and dying flashlights.

To make matters worse, it takes nearly another half hour before anything horror-adjacent happens aside from the masked killer creeping around. The suspense is non-existent, and despite the occasional stalking scenes, House Sitter never finds any of that urgency it desperately needs.

One bright spot is director Christopher Leto's use of practical effects. When the violence finally shows up, it at least looks tangible instead of drowning everything in questionable CGI. That's always appreciated and gives the finale a little extra punch.

The mystery itself isn't particularly mysterious. The identity of the murderer is quite obvious long before the actual reveal. There are a couple of twists along the way, trying to redeem the boring first hour. When contrasted with the slow start of the film, they easily become the best parts of the movie.

House Sitter (2026)

In the end, House Sitter spends far too much time talking instead of actually giving us the horror we came for. Better pacing, sharper dialogue, and a significantly higher body count would've gone a long way. Why not throw a house party, give us some victims?

Instead, it's a movie where I spent more time waiting for something to happen than watching it happen.

https://jackmeat.com/house-sitter-2026/