Protector (2026) | Milla Jovovich spends 72 hours proving that kidnapping the daughter of a trained war hero is an awful business decision. Who knew, LOL. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Protector didn't hesitate to make one thing obvious. This isn’t going to be a feel-good mother-daughter brunch movie. It opens with some grim text exposition about human sex trafficking statistics, setting a dark and urgent tone right out of the gate. From there, the film pivots to Milla Jovovich’s Nikki, a former war hero who can explain in detail how to end a life but, as she puts it, has far less experience with how to raise one. It’s a strong introduction to a character who is equal parts hardened soldier and out-of-practice mother.

The lack of emotional connection is instantly apparent between Nikki and her young daughter, Chloe (Isabel Myers). Nikki was absent from her daughter’s life during most of her upbringing due to her service, and the film does a good job making their strained relationship seem realistic. Naturally, being called Protector, there isn’t enough time for some awkwardness before Chloe sneaks off to the bar and is kidnapped.

Once the dreaded 72-hour window got mentioned, I knew exactly what I was in for. A high-speed, no-nonsense rescue thriller where a mother’s patience runs out faster than the runtime. With plenty of bullets to the head. And to the film’s credit, those hours start dropping quickly. Before long, Nikki wakes up hanging upside down, which is probably still less disorienting than most parent-teacher conferences.

From there, Protector leans fully into its action-thriller DNA. Jovovich is terrific in these sequences, delivering a relentless and brutally efficient performance as Nikki tears through the criminal underworld. She doesn’t so much “ask questions later” as skip the questions entirely. If someone gets in her way, they are essentially volunteering to become part of the body count.

The film takes a wonderfully shameless detour into First Blood territory, and I rather enjoyed it. D.B. Sweeney’s Captain Michaels is the kind of police captain who seems to have graduated top of his class in Terrible Decisions. When he decides that sending in SWAT is the obvious solution, Matthew Modine’s Colonel Lavelle steps in with a warning that feels delightfully familiar. It is such a close representation of the famous Dennehy-Crenna showdown that I almost got the feeling that Protector is winking right at us. Fortunately, it is doing so with some humor.

That said, the pacing is a bit uneven. The flashbacks and narration, while useful for filling in Nikki’s past, sometimes interrupt the momentum just as the movie is really cooking. It feels like writer Bong-Seob Mun may have patched in exposition where stronger early character development might have helped.

Still, the action scenes are where Protector really shines. The stairwell shootout is particularly stylish, lit almost entirely by muzzle flashes as Nikki climbs toward the next target. It’s a slick visual moment in a flick that knows exactly when to go full popcorn mode.

The surprise twist gives the film a bit of an added kick, even if it’s not entirely successful. Nevertheless, as a quick, violent, and at times funny action movie, Protector definitely delivers on its promises. It feels like Taken crashed headfirst into First Blood. If that sounds fun, then you have got your answer.

Protector (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/protector-2026/

In Darkness (2018) | A stylish thriller that kept me hooked, then hit me with a twist so messy it nearly drove straight through the plot. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.6/10. In Darkness is another flick collecting dust on my watchlist, so it was finally time to pull it off the shelf and see what kind of thrills this thriller has. The setup grabbed me right away. A blind pianist, Sofia (Natalie Dormer), hears what sounds like a murder in the apartment above her. From there, she gets dragged into a grimy London underworld full of secrets and lies. And would it be a mystery without a few twists to make your brain start filing workers’ comp?

The film opens with ominous piano music, and before we know it, it is apparent that we will have a far cry from a comfortable evening. This foreboding soundtrack quickly transitions into a frightening scene of choking, setting the atmosphere right from the beginning. In Darkness then takes us through Sofia’s journey back home, and while the visual elements do their fair share of building up an eerie atmosphere, the audio elements take center stage, creating a realistic environment from Sofia’s perspective. As regards the audio elements of the movie, I must say that they make up for some of the best parts of the film.

Natalie Dormer offers an impressive performance. She totally lives up to the character, and she never comes across as just some gimmick. Dormer carries the film with a calm intensity that is engrossing, even when nothing much is happening. Speaking of which, In Darkness sports some very good settings, and they add a certain flair to the entire production. This is not some bargain-bin thriller tossed together on the cheap. There’s atmosphere here, and plenty of it.

The biggest issue is that In Darkness tries very hard to be smarter than the room. The mystery absolutely keeps your attention, but it also becomes so overcomplicated that instead of sitting back and enjoying the ride, you’re mentally connecting red strings across a corkboard like a sleep-deprived detective in a conspiracy meme. By the time the big twist arrives, the film leans so hard into the “gotcha” moment that it almost feels like it tripped over itself trying to stick the landing.

Without spoiling anything, the final reveal gave me one of those “wait… hold on a second” reactions where half the previous scenes start wobbling in retrospect. It’s one of those endings that will either make you appreciate the ambition or make you stare at the credits, questioning half of what you just watched. It really depends on the kind of viewer you are. Some people love a last-second rug pull. Others might feel like the movie pulled the rug, the floorboards, and possibly the entire apartment building.

Still, In Darkness is a solid little thriller. It's got strong acting, stylish direction, and enough mystery to keep you watching. I just wish Anthony Byrne trusted the story enough without feeling the need to go full M. Night Shyamalan in the final stretch.

In Darkness (2018)

https://jackmeat.com/in-darkness-2018/

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025) | It’s funny how these guys accidentally taught me not to do drugs while also becoming part of my childhood comedy hall of fame. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. There was something wonderfully rebellious about sneaking downstairs as a kid, “borrowing” my mom’s comedy albums, and tiptoeing back to my room like I was smuggling classified government documents. For me, it was either Cheech & Chong or Steve Martin spinning on the record player, which in hindsight is an absolutely elite comedy education. Looking back, maybe it doubled as some accidental anti-drug PSA, because despite laughing myself silly at their stoner antics, I somehow managed to steer clear of pot my entire life. So yes, perhaps Cheech and Chong unknowingly kept me sober through fear of ending up lost in the desert looking for Dave.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie takes what you might expect from a standard documentary and gleefully hotboxes the formula until it turns into something far stranger and far more entertaining. Rather than delivering a straight talking-head retrospective, the film leans into the duo’s surreal comedic DNA with a mix of archival footage, fresh interviews, animated sequences, and a road-trip framework that feels perfectly on brand. Watching Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong cruising through the desert to meet “Dave” is exactly the kind of absurd setup longtime fans would hope for. Cheech’s deadpan line, “Where in the desert? The desert is a big place,” lands like vintage material.

One of the best aspects of the film is how it balances nostalgia with genuine storytelling. We get Chong’s background in his own words, followed by Marin’s upbringing, including the wonderfully random and unforgettable detail about his mother doing Bobo Brazil’s laundry. It’s these little details that give the documentary a warm, lived-in feeling beyond the comedy. The creative animated skits are a smart touch too, helping visualize stories that could have easily just been told in a talking interview format.

The archival footage is pure gold. Listening to interviews from their early days, watching their greatest performances, and learning about the formation of the chart-topping comedy-rock stars is enough to give anyone an appreciation for their legacy. It’s not that they told jokes. It’s that they lived rock and roll on their own terms, using jokes instead of guitar riffs. And Lou Adler brings everything together.

The humor is still intact, especially with present-day sequences like the gummy-fueled drive and the occasional backseat guest chiming in with perfectly timed commentary. But what gives the film weight is its willingness to explore the fracture in their partnership. Even now, they’re still debating parts of what split them apart, which gives the documentary some real emotional texture beneath the laughs.

And yes, for longtime fans, it’s impossible not to think of Cheech’s gloriously NSFW scene in From Dusk till Dawn. Still one of the funniest, most unforgettable cameos ever committed to film.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie is funny, nostalgic, and surprisingly heartfelt. I'd say a fitting tribute to two comedy legends who somehow made getting lost feel like an art form. Definitely one for fans of the duo and comedy lovers in general.

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/cheech-chongs-last-movie-2025/

Bone Keeper (2026) | Bone Keeper feels to me like a lost drive-in creature feature where every bad decision is basically a gift for us horror fans. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. In true old-school monster movie fashion, the story of Bone Keeper begins right from the get-go. There's an unknown flying object, crashing down on Earth, and straightaway making sure that whoever sees it won't have a pleasant evening. Forget little green men. What crawls out of this meteor is something far slimier, nastier, and far more interested in turning a cave system into its personal all-you-can-eat buffet. The unlucky cavemen who happen to be nearby are basically the film’s opening appetizers, and from there, Bone Keeper wastes no time embracing its B-movie monster roots.

The film then jumps to 1976, where James Wheeler heads into the cave looking for answers and, unsurprisingly, ends up becoming another local legend. All that remains is some grainy Super 8 film showing the silhouette of the creature, which is exactly the kind of creepy setup that us horror fans can get behind. In the present day, his granddaughter Olivia, played by Sarah Alexandra Marks, returns with a group of explorers and friends to finally uncover the truth. Naturally, because this is a horror movie and common sense is apparently illegal, the group meets up for a road trip. And why not head straight for the cursed cave, and somehow still seem shocked when things go sideways.

It is precisely this nostalgia factor that makes Bone Keeper such an entertaining film. The writer/director Howard J. Ford obviously has a passion for these old monster films in which the monster is king and humans are just the walking meals, making one mistake after another. From the very first moment when they pick up this social media addicted "bitchhiker" (Sarah T. Cohen), you can almost smell the Bone Keeper drooling. More food for the monster? Why not.

The appearance of John Rhys-Davies as the older professor adds a nice bit of clout and some fun charm to the setup. His connection to Olivia’s grandfather and the eerie private film screening before the expedition gives the story a bit more bite before everyone inevitably decides that splitting up inside the cave is somehow a fantastic idea. Horror movie logic remains undefeated.

The gore effects are genuinely solid, and the creature itself is a really satisfying mix of practical effects and monster-movie slime. There’s something refreshing about seeing a creature that feels tactile and physical rather than drowning in overly polished CGI. Yeah, the CGI and/or AI that was used, especially on monster movement, was obvious, but almost purposely. And time to face it. Generative AI is here to stay. We need to get used to it, unfortunately. The cave setting is also convincingly claustrophobic, creating that nice “absolutely not” feeling every time someone wanders deeper into the darkness.

Now, I do have to laugh at some of the decision-making here. After witnessing the monster, the group somehow thinks pitching a tent basically within throwing distance of the cave entrance is a perfectly acceptable survival plan. It’s the kind of gloriously dumb horror logic that almost becomes part of the charm. The stupidity definitely does not stop there, but honestly, that’s part of the fun.

Bone Keeper (2026)

There’s also a particularly strong dream sequence that lands well, plus the obligatory final scare sequel tease that feels ripped straight from the golden age of creature features. Bone Keeper pleasantly surprised me. It’s messy, a little ridiculous, and exactly the kind of monster flick that would’ve played beautifully in a late-night drive-in double feature. Sometimes all you really need is a creepy cave, questionable choices, and a hungry monster waiting in the dark.

https://jackmeat.com/bone-keeper-2026/

Ballistic (2026) | The most ballistic thing in this movie isn’t the bullets, it’s a grieving mother’s spiral into blame and obsession. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Ballistic opens with the kind of standoff that screamed to me, “You know we’ll circle back to this in 90 minutes.” Two people, guns raised, enough unresolved frustration to power the whole film. It’s a solid hook, and I genuinely thought I was in for a lean revenge thriller with some sharp twists and maybe a body count to keep track of.

Instead, this one takes a very different route.

The film follows Nance Redfield, played by Lena Headey, a grieving mother whose son was killed in Afghanistan. In what might be one of the most grimly committed opening acts I’ve seen in a while, she literally digs into her son’s body at the funeral home to retrieve the bullet from his corpse. Nothing says “coping” quite like a funeral-home autopsy side quest. It’s a brutal scene, unsettling by design, and it immediately sets the tone for the kind of grief-fueled obsession the film wants to explore.

What follows is less action-thriller and far more slow-burn drama. If you go in expecting Headey to morph into some unstoppable one-woman vengeance machine, mowing down everyone from corrupt executives to military officials, Ballistic is going to throw cold water on those expectations fast. There’s no John Wick here. Instead, the film leans hard into emotional collapse, blame, and the desperate human need to make tragedy make sense.

Nance’s search for someone, anyone, to hold responsible becomes the real engine of the story. Her boss at the ammunition plant, the military, and even Kahlil, played with real nuance by Hamza Haq, all become targets for her unraveling mind. This is where the movie works best. Both Headey and Haq deliver strong performances that elevate material which, at times, threatens to become repetitive. Headey in particular carries the film with a believable mix of rage, grief, and exhaustion.

To be honest, I was hoping that at some point, there would have been something else going on – like some kind of mystery or even conspiracy that could have been revealed. Wasn’t there anything more to the death of her son than just the obvious part? Well, it doesn’t give in to such a temptation, and instead focuses on a much darker message. Sometimes, there simply is no hidden enemy pulling the strings.

That said, the ending pushes realism in a few different ways that would never happen. And it ends on a note that feels more dramatically convenient than believable. For a film that sticks us with this quote after the finale: "It is estimated that at least 30 percent of the ammunition that comes back in American soldiers' bodies... is American-made." That final stretch is painfully unbelievable.

Ballistic (2026)

Once I adjusted my expectations and accepted that this wasn’t an action film in disguise, Ballistic settled into being your average drama. It’s not thrilling, and it’s certainly not explosive the way the marketing and title suggest, but the acting makes the journey worthwhile. Sometimes the most ballistic thing in the room is just unresolved grief.

https://jackmeat.com/ballistic-2026/

The Whistler (2026) | A violent little spirit and great flamenco music can’t quite save a horror movie built on unbelievably dumb choices. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.4/10. I did think that The Whistler looked creepy when I added it to my slider a while back. It opens with text exposition laid over a scenic Venezuelan landscape, explaining that the Maria Lionza cult has been thriving for over 400 years. Ancient spirits, ritual practices, and a deeply rooted supernatural belief system? It’s a good way to begin a horror movie and certainly sufficient to attract any viewer who desires a horror movie centered on folklore possession.

The ritual scene at the beginning of the movie strengthens this hope, with a lady being kidnapped and utilized in a ritual to conjure The Whistler’s soul and then thrown away when she’s no longer useful. Someone gets attacked, blood is spilled, and the title card makes its dramatic entrance. At least the movie is kind enough to immediately answer the question of where the title came from.

Once the main story gets rolling, though, The Whistler starts tripping over its own characters, and Nicole is easily the biggest culprit. Diane Guerrero does what she can with the material, but Nicole is written as the kind of horror movie parent who seems completely immune to common sense. She’s grieving the loss of her daughter, which gives the film an emotional anchor, but the way she barrels through every warning is enough to make you want to yell at the screen.

When she’s told it’s too dangerous to perform a ceremony to speak with her dead child, her response is essentially, “I’ll pay whatever it costs.” Because apparently, in horror movies, ancient spirit rituals work like premium streaming subscriptions. If you’re going to dive headfirst into supernatural territory, maybe respecting the people who actually understand it would be a good place to start. Of course, someone from the cult immediately agrees to do it for the money, because bad decisions are clearly contagious here.

The Whistler itself is a pretty violent little menace when it actually gets going. There are some satisfyingly brutal moments, including a nasty disembowelment that leaves behind plenty of blood. The issue is that there just isn’t enough of that energy spread throughout the film. Director Diego Velasco clearly knows how to make a movie look good, and there are genuinely creepy moments sprinkled in, but the story never finds enough of an identity to separate itself from the pile of other possession flicks out there.

It is with the pacing that the film truly fails. It is a slow burn, one that sadly does not pay off its efforts until the last twenty minutes. And even then, all that happens is that the film has discovered how to pump life into itself. Nicole’s late-game leap into becoming some sort of instant occult expert is unintentionally hilarious, especially when she starts performing parts of a ritual she never even saw. Grief now comes with a crash course in Spanish and advanced demonology.

The flamenco music throughout was a nice touch, adding atmosphere and flavor to an otherwise familiar horror package. But then the movie tops it all off with a tidy Hollywood ending and the classic sequel tease, just in case this spirit wasn’t done whistling yet.

The Whistler (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/the-whistler-2026/

undertone (2026) | Starts with a creepy lullaby and somehow ends with me being more sleepy than scared. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. Undertone opens with a creepy lullaby, and for a moment, I genuinely thought, okay, here we go, this might actually get under my skin. Creepy lullabies are basically horror’s version of a cheat code. Unfortunately, after that strong opening note, the film settles into a much slower rhythm that never quite builds into the nightmare I had hoped for.

The setup is solid on paper. Evy (Nina Kiri), host of an all-things-creepy podcast, moves into her dying mother’s house to become her primary caregiver. Already, that’s a loaded, emotionally rich horror premise. Add in ten mysterious audio recordings from a pregnant couple dealing with paranormal noises, and you’ve got something that should be absolutely dripping with dread. Instead, Undertone feels like it keeps circling the runway without ever landing.

The film relies quite heavily on Evy, and Nina Kiri gives it her best effort. She features in nearly every scene where something important happens, as she listens to unusual noises and unravels the mystery around her. The problem is that the script gives her a lot of moments that are unintentionally funny for the wrong reasons. There’s only so many times you can watch someone pause mid-listening session, slowly stare into the middle distance like they just heard the ghost whisper “boo,” and expect it to still register as scary. After a while, it starts feeling less like psychological horror and more like your earbuds glitching out.

The podcast framing also had me chuckling, and not always in the intended way. Hearing Evy and her unseen co-host Justin (Adam DiMarco) do the whole “blah blah, let’s get back into character” routine, only to continue sounding exactly the same, had me wondering if the real horror was the production meeting. It undercuts the immersion almost every time the film uses the audio format as a source of tension.

That said, the sound design is easily the film’s MVP. If anything in Undertone works, it’s the audio atmosphere. The persistent creaks, distant noises, and layered recordings do a lot of the work. They try desperately to scare us when not much is actually happening. The cinematography also deserves credit, making strong use of the confined setting. The house feels appropriately boxed in, and director Ian Tuason clearly understands how to use space and restraint. There’s genuine filmmaking talent here, even if the script keeps putting it in a headlock.

My biggest issue is that the film mistakes slow pacing for suspense. Half the tension-building scenes rely on the classic horror trope of someone inching toward a flickering light like they’ve never paid an electricity bill before. I’m sorry, but if a light is flickering in my house, I’m not slow-walking toward it like it’s the final boss. I’m marching straight over to jiggle the bulb and mutter about the wiring.

undertone (2026)

I really wanted to like Undertone, especially with such a clever “scariest movie ever heard” concept playing off its podcast angle. But in the end, it left me feeling more bored rather than creeped out. The actors are perfectly fine, the direction shows promise, but the story and script needed far more bite. Instead of dread, I mostly felt like I was waiting for something, ANYTHING, to finally happen.

https://jackmeat.com/undertone-2026/