Bloody Tennis (2026) | This isn't really a slasher about tennis players, but it does prove that professional tennis involving blood can be entertaining. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Being a fan of tennis in general, I obviously had to see what happens when someone decides the sport needs a horror makeover. Bloody Tennis wastes absolutely no time answering that question. The Shudder logo appears, followed by a bloody-faced woman on a tennis court during a night session getting absolutely drilled by a ball machine. Someone casually strolls over to drag her away, and off we go. Apparently, that's just how tennis academy problems are handled.

Sophie (Sandra Guldberg Kampp) is dropped off at an elite tennis academy somewhere in Southern Europe, where she meets the other girls, an ornery old coach and the woman running the place, who immediately makes it clear that Sophie is approximately three seconds away from being told to fuck off. Her first assignment is basically win or go home, which seems like a slightly extreme version of the usual "work hard and believe in yourself" sporting philosophy.

The girls are subjected to some pretty damn evil hazing. There is some mysterious red shit everyone is drinking that immediately gags Sophie, and despite the movie's willingness to explain plenty of other bizarre things, I don't recall ever finding out what the hell that stuff actually was. I'll go out on a limb and say some sort of blood smoothie.

They also confiscate everyone's cellphones when they arrive, which is reasonable enough for an isolated academy full of sociopaths. Then someone has to physically carry a corded telephone out to the tennis courts. That's when you know these people are serious about isolation. Forget putting the Wi-Fi password on the welcome pamphlet. These weirdos have gone full 1987.

Unfortunately, Sophie isn't exactly easy to root for either. The one girl, Heidi (Helena Zengel), who doesn't treat her like garbage from the moment she arrives, gets treated like garbage by Sophie anyway. It makes the protagonist's journey somewhat difficult to get behind when I was occasionally thinking, "Well, maybe the evil tennis academy has a point."

If you're expecting a conventional slasher where someone methodically hunts down tennis players, Bloody Tennis isn't really that movie. It's considerably stranger, with a distinctly European feel courtesy of its German production. The final match in particular had me wondering exactly what the hell I was watching. The practical effects, however, look bloody good, with the movie putting its gruesome moments together without relying on digital effects.

I was also never entirely sure what the obsession with leeches was about. I understand that professional athletes have to be hungry for success, but I'm fairly certain the tennis circuit isn't actually this dog-eat-dog. Or, in this case, person-eat-person.

Underneath all the blood and bodily fluids, Bloody Tennis is really a cynical look at the lengths parents and coaches will go to manufacture the next sporting superstar. It's a dark bit of social satire about toxic sporting culture and the ridiculous pressure placed on young athletes to succeed.

The movie takes its horror seriously enough, but there's still a horror-comedy lurking underneath it all. Whether intentionally or because watching a bunch of psychopaths run a tennis academy is inherently farking funny. It isn't quite the bloody tennis massacre I was hoping for, but at least nobody can accuse it of playing a safe baseline game.

Bloody Tennis (2026)

I just wish somebody had explained the red drink.

https://jackmeat.com/bloody-tennis-2026/

One Last Shot (2026) | One Last Shot is perfectly serviceable, but you'll probably forget most of it before the end credits finish. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. I have always been a fan of Scott Adkins, so seeing that One Last Shot pairs him up with Dolph Lundgren immediately got my attention. Two guys who have spent decades beating the living hell out of increasingly unfortunate henchmen? Sign me up. Unfortunately, Lundgren apparently received the memo about this being a team-up but not the one about actually being in the movie very much.

The film opens with some news reporting about an attempted terrorist attack in Washington, D.C., involving Homeland Security agents, because apparently no action movie can get through its first ten minutes without somebody saying “national security” in a very serious voice. This is followed by a ridiculously easy attack on the Joint Chiefs of Staff. At least, I assume it is the Joint Chiefs. I really hope the movie isn't suggesting this happened in the White House, because the location didn't exactly scream “most secure building in America.”

Behind the whole thing is Carter (Steven Cree), a mysterious mastermind who is clearly up to something. Exactly what that something is takes a while to establish, although naturally there are conspiracies, double-crosses, and enough secret agendas to keep the screenplay supplied with suspicious-looking men in dark rooms.

Adkins plays Navy SEAL Jake Harris, who finds himself trying to stop a group of mercenaries from disabling the U.S. missile defense network. It is all very serious business, even if the movie occasionally makes it feel like the world's most elaborate IT support ticket.

The action is where One Last Shot earns most of its points. The fight scenes are reasonably solid, and Kane Kosugi is an excellent choice to go toe-to-toe with Adkins. Their encounters are easily the highlight, and if you removed the Kosugi-versus-Adkins material, I could probably knock another couple of points off the score without breaking a sweat. The CGI blood, on the other hand, looks like somebody found the “blood” setting in a graphics program and immediately clicked Apply All.

There is also a fun little chase involving a light utility vehicle (basically one of those new Jeeps, only smaller) which provides a welcome change of pace.

Unfortunately, the pacing is pretty sluggish, the characters are mostly flat, and the story never manages to distinguish itself from the dozens of other action movies seemingly pumped out specifically for STS consumption. It checks the expected boxes. Military conspiracy. Disgruntled former comrade. Mercenaries. Secret plans. Explosions and men who apparently communicate exclusively through grim facial expressions.

Overall, One Last Shot is an average action effort that does exactly what it says on the tin and very little else. Adkins fans will find enough decent action to make it worthwhile, particularly when Kosugi enters the picture, but don't go in expecting much Lundgren.

One Last Shot (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/one-last-shot-2026/

Echoes from the Void (2026) | Echoes from the Void tries to tell some creepy stories, but by the end, I was wondering if the void was where the good stories went. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.4/10. Echoes from the Void begins with a ringing phone, which Dr. Murphy (Amie Henry) answers before being called in to deal with a psychiatric patient at the Miskatonic Psych Eval Center. I’m not entirely sure H.P. Lovecraft appreciates the nod, but at least the movie knows what neighborhood it wants to play in. Before heading inside, Murphy also takes a quick hit from her flask, which is probably the most sensible decision anyone makes in the entire movie.

She’s there to analyze Bob or, as he insists on being called, Bob. He immediately begins telling her a story. At this point, I started wondering if I had accidentally picked an anthology movie. The premise certainly sounds like one. A psychiatrist investigating a missing girl interviews a mysterious prisoner whose stories blur the line between fiction and reality. As the tales unfold, she supposedly uncovers a terrifying truth about the storyteller.

The first story involves a woman who appears to have killed someone, and she certainly isn’t finished. She also takes out the security guard who comes looking for her. At least the practical blood effects are welcome. Then we get an otherwise fairly uneventful story about a patient and psychiatrist before we head back to Bob. Apparently Bob and Murphy are going to be our wraparound story.

Next up are two drunks talking at a bar. It becomes pretty obvious which drunk we’re supposed to care about. He did something wrong 20 years ago and may finally have to deal with the consequences. This one actually has a somewhat unique take on its premise, and, remarkably, it ended up being the one story that earned all of my points.

Back to Murphy, and now it’s time for her story. I’ll give you the abridged version because that’s about as much time as it deserves. Bob then launches into another tale involving an older man and a younger woman named Sky, who are running a grift to rob an old woman. Naturally, it doesn’t go according to plan. Unfortunately, neither does the acting. The performances are pretty rough across the board.

Back to Bob and Murphy, where she appears to be entering some sort of trance. The next story involves a family moving into a new house, possibly to flip it. The daughter is fascinated by the place while the son would rather hang around outside. Then the parents walk into a room and simply vanish, leaving the kids apparently unable to venture beyond the entryway. Makes perfect sense. Well, sort of. Actually, no, it really doesn’t.

Eventually, Bob’s stories start affecting Murphy in ways she can actually feel and smell. Finally, it’s time for Bob to reveal himself.

And honestly, if I’m going to hell, I expect the Devil to tell me far better stories than this. Echoes from the Void has a couple of interesting ideas buried in here, but the uneven stories and weak acting make it a pretty rough trip into the void.

Echoes from the Void (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/echoes-from-the-void-2026/

Super Troopers 3 (2026) | The Super Troopers are back, and apparently Farva getting engaged was the excuse everyone needed to make another ridiculous movie. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.5/10. It’s rare for me to say that all three movies in a comedy series get a 7 from me. At least the Super Troopers franchise is consistent. Well…mostly. Let’s call this one a 6.5 and pretend I’m not ruining my own system. Super Troopers 3 kicks things off with an upbeat Bollywood-style dance number featuring Farva (Kevin Heffernan), because this is where we are now.

After a bunch of understandably confused onlookers ask, “How did we end up here?”, the movie jumps back two months to explain exactly how things got this ridiculous. They have to give us some comedic antics to explain how Thorny's (Jay Chandrasekhar) sister Sarita (Hannah Simone) ended up engaged to Farva.

Thorny is understandably less than thrilled about this development and decides that breaking up the happy couple is a perfectly reasonable use of police resources. Meanwhile, the gang also has to deal with a new drug ring, because apparently ruining your sister’s engagement isn’t enough to keep a Vermont highway patrol busy.

The movie has no shortage of familiar faces and returning characters. Brian Cox is back as the captain, and his scenes remain some of the funniest parts of the movie. I see the new rookie recruit is Coy (Andrew Dismukes) from Saturday Night Live. And when I heard the voice of the car, I immediately recognized it. Will Sasso from MADtv.

The pacing is good, and there are enough ridiculous moments to keep things moving. If you’re already a fan of Broken Lizard and just want to hang out with these idiots again, there’s plenty here to enjoy. But the crime storyline, character arcs, and increasingly over-the-top comedy don’t always balance as well as they did. Some jokes land perfectly. Others feel like the movie is throwing things at the wall because, well, Super Troopers.

You definitely need to enjoy this particular brand of stupidity to get much out of it. Thankfully, I do.

The biggest problem is that this is probably the weakest of the three. If we're going to insist on comparing them, which we probably are. The stupidity is still charming, and there’s a deep well of jokes here, but the third installment feels like it’s missing some of the magic that made the earlier movies work so well.

And seeing the entire core cast back together roughly 25 years after the original is pretty damn impressive. (Damn, I am old.) If they come back for another one, though, I think they need to shake things up a little

Then again, I think we know that joke already. Potfest still hasn’t happened.

Maybe Super Troopers 4: The Search for O’Hagan’s Gold actually will. Who knows?

Super Troopers 3 (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/super-troopers-3-2026/

Goody Goody (2026) | If you're planning a home birth, maybe don't watch Goody Goody beforehand unless you really enjoy giving yourself completely unnecessary anxiety. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Goody Goody starts with the Shudder logo. Let’s see which way this goes tonight.

“In a dark, dark world, there was a dark, dark house…" a woman tells us during the credits. And in that dark house, some woman named Goody (Samantha Robinson) is giving birth.

This is a home birth in the middle of nowhere, during what appears to be the exact sort of blizzard that should have every sensible person screaming, “WE HAVE A 4WD, RIGHT?” The midwife, Sarah (Colleen Foy), quickly gets a bad feeling about the situation and tries to talk some sense into Dad Jayson (Colby Hollman).

He responds in the manner that I would NEVER respond when both my wife and newborn's lives are potentially at stake. Questioning the professional who is telling me something is wrong.

That leads us into a flashback explaining how Sarah got roped into being their midwife for a birth in the middle of nowhere in the first place. Because the universe looked at this situation and thought, “You know what this needs? More complications.”

Click here to check out the trailer -> https://mubi.com/en/films/goody-goody/trailer

The only other character is Candace (Zoe Renee), an obnoxious and occasionally slightly profound kid who wanders around adding another layer of weirdness to an already increasingly uncomfortable situation.

There is some genuinely nice camerawork here. The power goes out, the title finally pops up around 23 minutes in, and things start getting considerably more unpleasant. The birthing scenes also feature some practical effects that definitely earn a nod. This isn't exactly the sort of movie that makes you think, “Maybe I should have had kids.”

The dialogue can be a little rough at times, mostly because everyone occasionally sounds like they're auditioning for the dramatic monologue portion of a horror movie. But despite that, Goody Goody managed to keep me interested. I genuinely wanted to see where the hell this was going, and that's important for a slow-burn movie like this.

Credit where it's due. Writer/director Raymond Creamer uses the pacing well, gradually tightening the screws without constantly throwing something ridiculous at the screen. Cinematographer Tristan Noelle also deserves a shout-out, because some of those camera angles really grab ya.

It's a slow build toward an almost body-horror-style ending, and while it didn't completely blow me away, it certainly went somewhere I wasn't expecting.

There probably aren't too many mommies out there who have home-birthed or are planning to. But if that's you, congratulations. Goody Goody has just given you some premium nightmare fuel for the next nine months.

Goody Goody (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/goody-goody-2026/

Scorched Earth (2022) | This is what happens when you take an interesting premise and then botch every aspect of the film in the process of making it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.9/10. I have had this Scorched Earth flick sitting in my drafts for years, hoping it would eventually get some sort of proper streaming release. At this point, I'm finally giving up and publishing the bloody thing. LOL.

This independent, micro-budget UK feature caught my attention tonight mainly because of its 63-minute runtime. That's a pretty easy commitment when you're wondering whether you've just found another obscure post-apocalyptic gem or three hours of your life you're never getting back. Thankfully, this one is only an hour.

Scorched Earth is a dystopian thriller set in a post-apocalyptic world where the water supply has become radioactive and deadly. It's actually a pretty damn good premise. Water is obviously kind of important when you're trying to keep humanity alive, so turning the world's most basic resource into a death sentence gives the filmmakers plenty to work with.

Unfortunately, the movie never really does anything with it.

The story follows Gylian (Charlotte Elizzabeth Langley), a mother desperately trying to obtain medication for her sick daughter. Her motivation gives the movie a solid reason to explore this ruined world, but the story itself feels disjointed and never does anything with the characters to make me give a shit about what happens to them.

The extremely limited budget is also hard to hide. While I have no problem watching micro-budget films when the directors have found a way around their constraints, Scorched Earth is more like a film-school experiment than a primetime movie. The film’s editing is very disjointed. The pace of the story is uneven, and the special effects are not convincing enough for a believable post-apocalyptic setting.

The pacing is probably the biggest problem. It somehow feels both hurried and sluggish at the same time. There are scenes that go on and on but do not contribute anything, while other aspects occur too quickly for any effect. This makes it hard to create the level of tension and desperation required for a world where safe drinking water could mean the difference between life and death.

There are certainly glimpses of an interesting movie here. The central idea is genuinely good, and I can see what the filmmakers were trying to achieve. A mother fighting to save her sick daughter in a world where clean water no longer exists could have made for a pretty grim little survival thriller.

Sadly, the execution just isn't there.

Another reason this review has been sitting in my drafts for so bloody long is that Scorched Earth never seemed to get mainstream distribution in the US or Australia. It has an official trailer on the Scorched Earth IMDb page, and there is an Amazon UK listing, but it never became one of those movies you could simply stumble across on Netflix or the usual Australian streaming services.

After waiting years for that to change, I've finally decided it isn't going to.

Not sure how else to say it. The idea deserved a better movie. But Scorched Earth can't overcome its production limits, uneven pacing, and underdeveloped characters. Unless you're trying to find obscure micro-budget post-apocalyptic movies, I wouldn't bother tracking this one down.

At least it only took 63 minutes. And now, after all these years, I can finally get the damn thing out of my drafts.

Scorched Earth (2022)

https://jackmeat.com/scorched-earth-2022/

Exit 8 (2025) | Exit 8 takes a simple game about spotting weird shit in a hallway and somehow turns it into surprisingly creepy entertainment. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.5/10. Exit 8 starts with a guy doomscrolling on his phone while sitting on a crowded subway train. Because apparently being trapped in an endless nightmare corridor wasn't enough punishment, we're going to make him sit through the modern hellscape of public transportation first. He's interrupted by a screaming baby and then a screaming adult yelling at the baby's parent, which he mostly ignores before getting off the train and continuing through life completely isolated from everyone around him.

Then he gets some surprise news from an ex-girlfriend. She's pregnant. And that's when the phone call cuts out while he's coughing like he's got about three minutes left to live. Then things start getting weird.

The Man (Kazunari Ninomiya) starts noticing that he's walking through the same stretches of corridor over and over. There's Exit 8 again. There's that same guy walking toward him again. And that same guy...well, he keeps showing up.

The rules are simple. If you notice something unusual, turn around. If everything looks normal, keep walking. Eventually, if you get everything right, you'll reach Exit 8 and escape. Miss an anomaly, and you're back at the beginning.

Easy enough, right? Yeah, sure.

The guy he keeps passing, The Walking Man (Yamato Kochi, is particularly creepy, and I started wondering whether he was just part of the puzzle or another person trapped in the same endless loop. There's also The Boy (Naru Asanuma), a surprisingly cute little kid who is also caught up in this bizarre situation.

The thing that I enjoyed the most about Exit 8 was the way that it accomplishes a lot without doing very much. By using some very creative camera angles, the director, Genki Kawamura, makes it possible to hide a bit of the corridor or a sign, which starts to make us question perception. At times there is something eerie right in front of your face, and at others there is an ordinary hallway, which makes you wonder if you're the anomaly for suspecting everything.

That's especially impressive considering the movie is based on a video game that is essentially built around walking through a corridor and looking for changes. Not exactly The Last of Us when it comes to story material.

The screenplay adds actual characters, background, and development to that basic concept, and that's what makes the movie work as more than a stretched-out game adaptation. The movie never bothers explaining exactly how or why this nightmare exists, and honestly, I think that's the right choice. Part of the horror is that it simply happens. There isn't a convenient exposition dump explaining the supernatural corridor's operating system.

Exit 8 (2025)

It's a smart and inventive little movie that understands the power of minimalism. It doesn't need monsters jumping out every five minutes when it can make you suspicious of doorknob placement.

https://jackmeat.com/exit-8-2025/