They Will Kill You (2026) | A bloody, darkly hilarious flick that knows exactly how ridiculous it is and has a blast with every severed limb. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.2/10. I have been looking forward to They Will Kill You ever since that first trailer dropped, and thankfully, this one delivers exactly the kind of campy and unhinged chaos I hoped for. If you go in expecting subtlety, this movie will probably laugh in your face, quote the devil, and then hit you with a flaming axe.

The film opens with a wonderfully cynical tone: two young people staring into a bizarre mannequin display posed like some perfect wealthy suburban family, while the line “When poor people give to rich people, the devil laughs” flashes like a warning label for everything to come. It is one of those openings that instantly tells you this movie has something mean and darkly funny on its mind. That humor is immediately undercut by a far more brutal scene as the pair flees from their father, culminating in the older sibling being forced to shoot him after the chilling line, “You’ll never touch her again.” Not exactly a cheery start, but it got my attention.

Ten years later, Asia Reaves - initially going by Isabel and played by Zazie Beetz - arrives for a housekeeping job in a towering NYC high-rise. Naturally, because horror movie employment opportunities are never normal, the building comes with a long history of disappearances and an atmosphere so suspicious it might as well have a neon sign blinking RUN. Patricia Arquette’s Lily Woodhouse welcomes her in, and as a longtime fan ever since True Romance, it was great seeing Arquette bring that same magnetic screen presence here.

Writer-director Kirill Sokolov wastes absolutely no time letting the weirdness loose. Everyday sounds, creaking pipes, footsteps, elevator noises, are used brilliantly to build tension before masked attackers descend on Asia’s room in a full-blown assault sequence less than twenty minutes in. It instantly brought back the same “what in the actual hell is happening?” energy from his criminally overlooked Why Don't You Just Die!. And once the violence kicks in, it really kicks in. This thing goes all in on comic-book-style gore, with blood spraying like the building’s plumbing system is filled with red paint.

At this point, I am wondering how they are going to keep up the pace. Once the truth comes out that “Isabel” is actually Asia Reaves, the same girl from the opening, the film opens up into something even wilder. Dark humor, a temple for Satan, rich people being predictably awful, and the kind of plot escalation where you just shrug and say, sure, why not? Watching Heather Graham’s character get her head blown clean off is the sort of moment that tells you death here is less a consequence and more a temporary inconvenience.

We get to meeting Maria Reaves (Myha'la), the reason big sister came looking in the first place. The back half leans even harder into the madness with an enjoyably goofy flaming axe fight, a surprisingly decent new depiction of Satan, and a sword fight near the end that is so bizarrely entertaining I genuinely do not want to spoil who it is between. It is one of those sequences that makes you grin because it fully commits to the insanity.

They Will Kill You (2026)

Best of all, They Will Kill You absolutely flies by. There is barely any slowdown, and Sokolov never misses a chance to throw more blood, guts, and black comedy at the screen. It is stylish, violent, weirdly funny, and just cynical enough to make its “damn rich people” theme land.

https://jackmeat.com/they-will-kill-you-2026/

57 Seconds (2023) | Morgan Freeman does his absolute best to make this messy sci-fi thriller look smarter than it really is. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Sometimes a flick can tell you exactly what you’re in for right from the opening frame, and 57 Seconds wastes absolutely no time doing just that. We open on a plane already in full crash mode, with our narrator politely introducing the passengers like we’re being handed a seating chart for the upcoming disaster. It is one of those “start at the chaos, then rewind to explain how we got here” openings that screams, don’t think too hard about this.

At the center of the madness is Franklin Fausti, played by Josh Hutcherson, a blogger who stumbles into the orbit of tech visionary Anton Burrell, played by the always commanding Morgan Freeman. After thwarting an attack on Burrell, Franklin finds a ring that allows its wearer to travel exactly 57 seconds into the past. It is a fun sci-fi hook, and honestly, there is some genuine potential in the concept. The problem is what the movie decides to do with it.

Instead of immediately diving into high-concept thrills, Franklin basically starts using time travel like it is a cheat code for theft and forced swipe rights. Before the revenge plot against the pharmaceutical company responsible for his sister’s death really gets going, he is already using the ring for selfish reasons, including nudging romantic outcomes in his favor. It makes it incredibly difficult to look at him as some heroic underdog when his first instinct is essentially, what if I used science fiction to improve my dating odds? Not exactly the most inspiring protagonist move.

That is really where 57 Seconds stumbles the most. When you have such a complex storyline about revenge, corruption, and messing around with time, there are just so many absurdly stupid decisions made that it seems as if common sense must have been the very first one sacrificed on that altar. Franklin, the hero of the story, doesn’t really come across as one. In fact, I was waiting all through the film to see him get smacked upside the head.

Still, if you approach this as a bit of innocent sci-fi fun, there is enough here to make it an okay watch. The premise alone keeps things moving, and Morgan Freeman does what Morgan Freeman has done for decades - show up and make a flawed movie look far more respectable than it probably deserves. His presence alone keeps the whole thing from completely falling apart.

On the other hand, Josh Hutcherson gives us the bare minimum. It’s adequate enough, yet the whole notion of having him play the lead in an action-thriller doesn’t seem like such a good idea. The movie isn’t anything daring or clever, resorting to convenient plot elements and actions existing to keep the script moving.

57 Seconds (2023)

My advice? Give 57 Seconds a shot, but do not overthink it. The moment you start pulling at the logic, the whole thing unravels faster than the timeline itself.

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Hive (2026) | Hive starts strong with terrifying chalk-demon kids, then slowly turns into a suburban horror movie defeated by what’s basically kitchen sugar. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. I thought the trailer looked decent, so I popped on Hive. It opens with a scene that will make you side-eye every playground you ever drive past. Kids are happily going to town with sidewalk chalk, drawing away in total innocence, when a bleeding woman stumbles into frame like she just escaped a much better horror movie. Instead of helping, the little monsters just keep sketching as her fate quite literally gets drawn out in front of her. Broken bones, blood, and an immediate reminder that horror movies have spent decades warning us about creepy children for a reason. Kids are evil. Cinema has spoken.

After the credits, Hive shifts its focus to Sasha, played by Xochitl Gomez, a tightly wound, anxiety-fueled teenager who gets dropped off by her brother Marco (Aaron Dominguez) for what should be a simple babysitting gig in one of those rich suburban gated communities that practically screams, “something awful happens here after dark.” The first red flag comes almost immediately when Sasha is given one very specific rule: do not take the kid outside. Naturally, within what feels like five minutes, she takes the kid straight to the park. Scholarship recommendation? Apparently unimportant.

From there, Hive settles into a strange blend of suburban paranoia, body-snatcher weirdness, and what feels like a not-so-subtle satire of hive-mind neighborhood culture. The kids at the park are genuinely unsettling, and honestly, they steal the show. Their performances do most of the work when it comes to fright. Victoria Firsova’s Zaley absolutely nails the snobby, unsettling rich-kid energy too, making every scene she’s in feel just a little more off.

The problem is that once Hive gets past its strong opening setup, it starts failing pretty hard. The concept itself has some promise, but the film never really explains how any of it works in a satisfying way. The hive force, the infected behavior, and especially the sugar weakness all feel pulled out of a hat. Regular sugar is the weapon of choice here, which raises some deeply important scientific questions. Are we dealing with an alien fungus that forgot to manage its glucose levels? Is this the first horror villain defeated by pantry staples?

A lot of the choices feel like writer/director Felipe Vargas had a cool visual idea first and then worked backward to justify it later. Some moments are undeniably stylish, and credit absolutely goes to the direction and cinematography (Carmen Cabana) because there are flashes of genuinely solid filmmaking throughout Hive. Unfortunately, those moments are trapped inside a story that asks its characters to make one baffling decision after another.

And wow, these characters make some choices. Horror movie logic is one thing, but Hive often feels like its leads are actively sprinting toward danger as a lifestyle decision. Escape routes appear, logic briefly enters the room, and then everyone collectively decides to do the exact opposite.

Hive (2026)

In the end, Hive mostly survives on atmosphere and sheer weirdness. It’s not particularly scary, the gore is limited, and the story doesn’t land nearly as hard as I wanted. Still, if you enjoy strange suburban horror with creepy kids and a few unintentional laughs, there’s just enough here to keep it watchable.

https://jackmeat.com/hive-2026/

Protector (2026) | Milla Jovovich spends 72 hours proving that kidnapping the daughter of a trained war hero is an awful business decision. Who knew, LOL. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Protector didn't hesitate to make one thing obvious. This isn’t going to be a feel-good mother-daughter brunch movie. It opens with some grim text exposition about human sex trafficking statistics, setting a dark and urgent tone right out of the gate. From there, the film pivots to Milla Jovovich’s Nikki, a former war hero who can explain in detail how to end a life but, as she puts it, has far less experience with how to raise one. It’s a strong introduction to a character who is equal parts hardened soldier and out-of-practice mother.

The lack of emotional connection is instantly apparent between Nikki and her young daughter, Chloe (Isabel Myers). Nikki was absent from her daughter’s life during most of her upbringing due to her service, and the film does a good job making their strained relationship seem realistic. Naturally, being called Protector, there isn’t enough time for some awkwardness before Chloe sneaks off to the bar and is kidnapped.

Once the dreaded 72-hour window got mentioned, I knew exactly what I was in for. A high-speed, no-nonsense rescue thriller where a mother’s patience runs out faster than the runtime. With plenty of bullets to the head. And to the film’s credit, those hours start dropping quickly. Before long, Nikki wakes up hanging upside down, which is probably still less disorienting than most parent-teacher conferences.

From there, Protector leans fully into its action-thriller DNA. Jovovich is terrific in these sequences, delivering a relentless and brutally efficient performance as Nikki tears through the criminal underworld. She doesn’t so much “ask questions later” as skip the questions entirely. If someone gets in her way, they are essentially volunteering to become part of the body count.

The film takes a wonderfully shameless detour into First Blood territory, and I rather enjoyed it. D.B. Sweeney’s Captain Michaels is the kind of police captain who seems to have graduated top of his class in Terrible Decisions. When he decides that sending in SWAT is the obvious solution, Matthew Modine’s Colonel Lavelle steps in with a warning that feels delightfully familiar. It is such a close representation of the famous Dennehy-Crenna showdown that I almost got the feeling that Protector is winking right at us. Fortunately, it is doing so with some humor.

That said, the pacing is a bit uneven. The flashbacks and narration, while useful for filling in Nikki’s past, sometimes interrupt the momentum just as the movie is really cooking. It feels like writer Bong-Seob Mun may have patched in exposition where stronger early character development might have helped.

Still, the action scenes are where Protector really shines. The stairwell shootout is particularly stylish, lit almost entirely by muzzle flashes as Nikki climbs toward the next target. It’s a slick visual moment in a flick that knows exactly when to go full popcorn mode.

The surprise twist gives the film a bit of an added kick, even if it’s not entirely successful. Nevertheless, as a quick, violent, and at times funny action movie, Protector definitely delivers on its promises. It feels like Taken crashed headfirst into First Blood. If that sounds fun, then you have got your answer.

Protector (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/protector-2026/

In Darkness (2018) | A stylish thriller that kept me hooked, then hit me with a twist so messy it nearly drove straight through the plot. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.6/10. In Darkness is another flick collecting dust on my watchlist, so it was finally time to pull it off the shelf and see what kind of thrills this thriller has. The setup grabbed me right away. A blind pianist, Sofia (Natalie Dormer), hears what sounds like a murder in the apartment above her. From there, she gets dragged into a grimy London underworld full of secrets and lies. And would it be a mystery without a few twists to make your brain start filing workers’ comp?

The film opens with ominous piano music, and before we know it, it is apparent that we will have a far cry from a comfortable evening. This foreboding soundtrack quickly transitions into a frightening scene of choking, setting the atmosphere right from the beginning. In Darkness then takes us through Sofia’s journey back home, and while the visual elements do their fair share of building up an eerie atmosphere, the audio elements take center stage, creating a realistic environment from Sofia’s perspective. As regards the audio elements of the movie, I must say that they make up for some of the best parts of the film.

Natalie Dormer offers an impressive performance. She totally lives up to the character, and she never comes across as just some gimmick. Dormer carries the film with a calm intensity that is engrossing, even when nothing much is happening. Speaking of which, In Darkness sports some very good settings, and they add a certain flair to the entire production. This is not some bargain-bin thriller tossed together on the cheap. There’s atmosphere here, and plenty of it.

The biggest issue is that In Darkness tries very hard to be smarter than the room. The mystery absolutely keeps your attention, but it also becomes so overcomplicated that instead of sitting back and enjoying the ride, you’re mentally connecting red strings across a corkboard like a sleep-deprived detective in a conspiracy meme. By the time the big twist arrives, the film leans so hard into the “gotcha” moment that it almost feels like it tripped over itself trying to stick the landing.

Without spoiling anything, the final reveal gave me one of those “wait… hold on a second” reactions where half the previous scenes start wobbling in retrospect. It’s one of those endings that will either make you appreciate the ambition or make you stare at the credits, questioning half of what you just watched. It really depends on the kind of viewer you are. Some people love a last-second rug pull. Others might feel like the movie pulled the rug, the floorboards, and possibly the entire apartment building.

Still, In Darkness is a solid little thriller. It's got strong acting, stylish direction, and enough mystery to keep you watching. I just wish Anthony Byrne trusted the story enough without feeling the need to go full M. Night Shyamalan in the final stretch.

In Darkness (2018)

https://jackmeat.com/in-darkness-2018/

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025) | It’s funny how these guys accidentally taught me not to do drugs while also becoming part of my childhood comedy hall of fame. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. There was something wonderfully rebellious about sneaking downstairs as a kid, “borrowing” my mom’s comedy albums, and tiptoeing back to my room like I was smuggling classified government documents. For me, it was either Cheech & Chong or Steve Martin spinning on the record player, which in hindsight is an absolutely elite comedy education. Looking back, maybe it doubled as some accidental anti-drug PSA, because despite laughing myself silly at their stoner antics, I somehow managed to steer clear of pot my entire life. So yes, perhaps Cheech and Chong unknowingly kept me sober through fear of ending up lost in the desert looking for Dave.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie takes what you might expect from a standard documentary and gleefully hotboxes the formula until it turns into something far stranger and far more entertaining. Rather than delivering a straight talking-head retrospective, the film leans into the duo’s surreal comedic DNA with a mix of archival footage, fresh interviews, animated sequences, and a road-trip framework that feels perfectly on brand. Watching Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong cruising through the desert to meet “Dave” is exactly the kind of absurd setup longtime fans would hope for. Cheech’s deadpan line, “Where in the desert? The desert is a big place,” lands like vintage material.

One of the best aspects of the film is how it balances nostalgia with genuine storytelling. We get Chong’s background in his own words, followed by Marin’s upbringing, including the wonderfully random and unforgettable detail about his mother doing Bobo Brazil’s laundry. It’s these little details that give the documentary a warm, lived-in feeling beyond the comedy. The creative animated skits are a smart touch too, helping visualize stories that could have easily just been told in a talking interview format.

The archival footage is pure gold. Listening to interviews from their early days, watching their greatest performances, and learning about the formation of the chart-topping comedy-rock stars is enough to give anyone an appreciation for their legacy. It’s not that they told jokes. It’s that they lived rock and roll on their own terms, using jokes instead of guitar riffs. And Lou Adler brings everything together.

The humor is still intact, especially with present-day sequences like the gummy-fueled drive and the occasional backseat guest chiming in with perfectly timed commentary. But what gives the film weight is its willingness to explore the fracture in their partnership. Even now, they’re still debating parts of what split them apart, which gives the documentary some real emotional texture beneath the laughs.

And yes, for longtime fans, it’s impossible not to think of Cheech’s gloriously NSFW scene in From Dusk till Dawn. Still one of the funniest, most unforgettable cameos ever committed to film.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie is funny, nostalgic, and surprisingly heartfelt. I'd say a fitting tribute to two comedy legends who somehow made getting lost feel like an art form. Definitely one for fans of the duo and comedy lovers in general.

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025)

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Bone Keeper (2026) | Bone Keeper feels to me like a lost drive-in creature feature where every bad decision is basically a gift for us horror fans. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. In true old-school monster movie fashion, the story of Bone Keeper begins right from the get-go. There's an unknown flying object, crashing down on Earth, and straightaway making sure that whoever sees it won't have a pleasant evening. Forget little green men. What crawls out of this meteor is something far slimier, nastier, and far more interested in turning a cave system into its personal all-you-can-eat buffet. The unlucky cavemen who happen to be nearby are basically the film’s opening appetizers, and from there, Bone Keeper wastes no time embracing its B-movie monster roots.

The film then jumps to 1976, where James Wheeler heads into the cave looking for answers and, unsurprisingly, ends up becoming another local legend. All that remains is some grainy Super 8 film showing the silhouette of the creature, which is exactly the kind of creepy setup that us horror fans can get behind. In the present day, his granddaughter Olivia, played by Sarah Alexandra Marks, returns with a group of explorers and friends to finally uncover the truth. Naturally, because this is a horror movie and common sense is apparently illegal, the group meets up for a road trip. And why not head straight for the cursed cave, and somehow still seem shocked when things go sideways.

It is precisely this nostalgia factor that makes Bone Keeper such an entertaining film. The writer/director Howard J. Ford obviously has a passion for these old monster films in which the monster is king and humans are just the walking meals, making one mistake after another. From the very first moment when they pick up this social media addicted "bitchhiker" (Sarah T. Cohen), you can almost smell the Bone Keeper drooling. More food for the monster? Why not.

The appearance of John Rhys-Davies as the older professor adds a nice bit of clout and some fun charm to the setup. His connection to Olivia’s grandfather and the eerie private film screening before the expedition gives the story a bit more bite before everyone inevitably decides that splitting up inside the cave is somehow a fantastic idea. Horror movie logic remains undefeated.

The gore effects are genuinely solid, and the creature itself is a really satisfying mix of practical effects and monster-movie slime. There’s something refreshing about seeing a creature that feels tactile and physical rather than drowning in overly polished CGI. Yeah, the CGI and/or AI that was used, especially on monster movement, was obvious, but almost purposely. And time to face it. Generative AI is here to stay. We need to get used to it, unfortunately. The cave setting is also convincingly claustrophobic, creating that nice “absolutely not” feeling every time someone wanders deeper into the darkness.

Now, I do have to laugh at some of the decision-making here. After witnessing the monster, the group somehow thinks pitching a tent basically within throwing distance of the cave entrance is a perfectly acceptable survival plan. It’s the kind of gloriously dumb horror logic that almost becomes part of the charm. The stupidity definitely does not stop there, but honestly, that’s part of the fun.

Bone Keeper (2026)

There’s also a particularly strong dream sequence that lands well, plus the obligatory final scare sequel tease that feels ripped straight from the golden age of creature features. Bone Keeper pleasantly surprised me. It’s messy, a little ridiculous, and exactly the kind of monster flick that would’ve played beautifully in a late-night drive-in double feature. Sometimes all you really need is a creepy cave, questionable choices, and a hungry monster waiting in the dark.

https://jackmeat.com/bone-keeper-2026/