Amityville Cop (2021) | Cinema Epoch and Amityville together should've been my warning, but I pressed play anyway because apparently I enjoy suffering. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.9/10. Oh no...Cinema Epoch. Seeing that logo pop up scares me almost as much as The Asylum. I went from "this might be fun" to "what level of #turkey will this be?" Still, I had a tiny bit of hope. An Amityville-flavoured Maniac Cop knock-off? That has potential. Amityville Cop is only 68 minutes, how much damage could it really do?

The movie opens with some suspiciously familiar-looking city skyline drone footage that screams "stock footage subscription," before introducing a couple saying goodbye. They seal it with a kiss, he drives off...and immediately gets pulled over by a creepy demonic cop. Let's just say he didn't get out of the ticket. He got removed from the human population count.

Right from the start, Officer Miller (Jason Toler) is the best thing in the movie. The bar is very low. He casually explains an arrest involving a broken table with such deadpan seriousness that I honestly wondered if I'd already reached the film's comedic peak. Turns out...I probably had.

The plot never bothers explaining why this demonic cop exists. He just wanders around murdering people because...he was sorta wronged by his partner? It's very vague. Sometimes less is more. Unfortunately, the kills are almost all hidden by awkward editing or happen off-screen, so even that novelty wears thin pretty quickly.

The script is wonderfully ridiculous without meaning to be. At one point it's apparently perfectly normal for someone to have a rocket launcher sitting at their desk inside the local police station. You know...standard police equipment.

What annoyed me was the filmmakers seemed convinced they were making a serious horror film. The wisecracking killer cop occasionally injects some accidental laughs, but everyone else treats the material like it's deadly serious. Focusing on the absurdity could have made this a fun little B-movie.

And then there's the Amityville connection...or rather, the complete lack of one. Aside from borrowing the name for marketing purposes, nothing here remotely resembles anything associated with Amityville mythology. You could rename this Demon Cop and absolutely nothing would change.

Ironically, there is one fun bit of trivia. Laurene Landon appears here as a satanic cult leader and also starred in the first two Maniac Cop films. That's probably the closest this movie ever comes to earning a comparison. Sadly, instead of capturing any of that trilogy's cheesy fun, this feels like an incredibly watered-down rip-off.

Most of the runtime consists of painfully stiff conversations inside what appears to be someone's empty house doubling as a police station, interrupted by more stock drone footage and bloodless kill scenes. It quickly becomes repetitive and surprisingly dull for something involving a supernatural killer cop.

I've certainly seen worse Amityville cash-grabs over the years, but this comfortably sits in the same entertainment bracket as Amityvillenado. Another movie you watch more because the title amuses you than because the film itself does.

By the time the credits rolled, I disconnected this one from my movie library almost as quickly as the Demon Cop disconnects people from life.

Amityville Cop (2021)

Would I recommend Amityville Cop? Only if you're trying to complete the endless Amityville collection or enjoy watching low-budget horror oddities for the unintentional comedy. If you're actually hoping for a supernatural Maniac Cop-style horror film, this one never comes close to delivering.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-cop-2021/

Amityville Karen (2022) | Amityville Karen somehow stretches one joke into 103 painful minutes. I laughed more at it than with it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.2/10. Oh boy. First things first. No movie called Amityville Karen should be 103 minutes long. My own fault for watching, but I shouldn't have to say that. If you're making one of these micro-budget Amityville cash grabs, keep it under 90 minutes. Hell, under 80 would be even better.

The premise is exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. Karen (Lauren Francesca) is a cold, miserable health inspector who makes everyone around her suffer. After stealing a cursed bottle of wine from a struggling brewery, she ends up possessed and begins murdering people while delivering customer service complaints. Apparently even demonic possession can't stop her from asking to see the manager.

Oddly enough, the opening credits surprised me, looking somewhat professional. They almost have that polished Hallmark movie vibe before everything falls off a cliff. We meet Karen in bed, where she wastes absolutely no time complaining about landscapers outside her window just to make sure nobody misses the joke. Then creepy music kicks in for the title card because...Amityville Karen.

One pleasant surprise is that when Karen starts driving, she's actually in a moving car instead of pretending to drive in front of a green screen. My standards are low here, so yes, that counts as praise.

Francesca commits to playing the world's most insufferable Karen, and seriously, she seems a little too comfortable in the role. Whenever she's berating people, she's actually entertaining enough. Unfortunately, every time she breaks into her evil villain laugh, things go downhill in a hurry.

The cursed wine introduces some bizarre moments. Karen dreams about a half-naked dancing woman before Barnaby (Carl Solomon) shows up at her door carrying a blood contract that needs signing. Sure, why not sign it? This is Amityville. Barnaby is easily one of the funniest characters in the movie and steals just about every scene he's in.

One gag I actually laughed at was Karen talking in her sleep.

"I want to see your manager..."

"I need a refund..."

She repeats complaint after complaint while asleep, and it's probably the biggest laugh the movie managed to get out of me.

Unfortunately, once the story reaches the winery, things become painfully awkward. The wine tasting is loaded with cardboard-cutout patrons, an aggressively annoying band, and enough second-hand embarrassment to pair nicely with the cursed cabernet. The lead singer, Captain (Mike Ferguson), looked familiar, and sure enough, he'd previously turned up in Night Patrol.

The first kill isn't particularly convincing, but at least it's done with practical effects. Karen then wanders around dispatching people one by one, attaching some new complaint or customer grievance to every murder. It's a decent enough running joke, but there's simply not enough story surrounding it.

The acting outside of Francesca and Solomon is rough. Really rough. It often feels like director/Alex Shawn C. Phillips simply let everyone improvise entire conversations and hoped something funny would happen. Most of the time...it doesn't. There are even moments where weapons visibly miss their targets by a mile. Those scissors weren't fooling anybody.

Julie Anne Prescott wrote Amityville Karen, and anyone familiar with low-budget indie horror has probably seen her name before. This falls squarely into that same category of B-movie schlock. The problem isn't the silly premise. That's actually part of the appeal. It's that there's barely enough plot for an hour, let alone 103 minutes.

I probably would've bumped this out of full #turkey territory if it had simply wrapped things up sooner.

Instead, after the winery sequence finally ends, the movie somehow gets even worse.

The final ten minutes become an endless parade of fake news reports featuring what has to be every crowdfunding supporter who paid for a cameo. One after another after another after another. It's painfully obvious why they're there, and instead of sprinkling these appearances throughout the movie, they're dumped on us all at once. Watching random people awkwardly deliver news reports for ten straight minutes is one of the most irritating ways I've ever seen a movie pad its runtime.

Amityville Karen (2022)

At least the credits looked nice. That's something.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-karen-2022/

Amityvillenado (2026) | Watching someone shoot a tornado with a handgun tells you everything you need to know about this ridiculous movie. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. At a hefty 111 minutes, Amityvillenado had me preparing for another endurance test. The Amityville name has been slapped onto just about everything at this point, and most of them have been disasters. A haunted tornado? That sounded like another entry destined for the bargain bin. Surprisingly, this one had something many of the others lacked. It actually knew exactly how ridiculous it was.

The film follows friends Trey (Trey Ball) and Jib (Jib Haddan), who witness the aftermath of the infamous DeFeo house being obliterated by a tornado that somehow absorbs its supernatural evil. Yes, that's the plot. Their biggest concern at first is that Trey might miss the Skull Crusher concert, but as people begin having their souls vacuumed out by the possessed twister, local meteorologist June Weathers (Elizabeth McCoy), a paranormal investigator, and former priest Father O'Harahan (Will Hoffpauir) join forces to stop the storm from consuming the town.

Things begin with two women exploring an Amityville-looking house during a rainstorm. Calling it "Amityville-looking" might be generous. The silhouette resembled an eighth-grade art project. Naturally, one of them discovers a Ouija board and decides opening the Hasbro Portal to Hell sounds like an excellent life choice. Before they can finish, a tornado warning interrupts the séance, followed quickly by the opening credits and a hard cut to what looks like the male versions of those same characters jamming to dubstep while driving.

The movie is split into chapters with titles like A Weekend to Remember, Ghosts of Ocean Avenue, June's Warning, and Mystic Eye. They're thrown around so often they almost become part of the joke. I only mention them since I took the time to write them down LOL. Officer Lipshits (Clay Aleman) spends half the movie investigating whether his wife is cheating while everyone else is trying to survive a demon-infested tornado. Somehow, that subplot fits right in.

I was ready to make fun of the suspiciously spotless empty lot where the Amityville house supposedly stood...until Trey pointed out exactly how weird it looked before I could. Fair play, movie.

The effects won't fool anyone, but they're surprisingly workable considering the budget. Souls being ripped from bodies by the tornado actually look decent enough, and every time someone comes up with another absurd solution, the film doubles down. My personal favorite? Watching someone decide shooting a tornado with a handgun was a perfectly reasonable plan.

There was clearly a little more effort put into this one than most Amityville cash grabs. Writer/director team Paul Tucker and Jeff Van Gerwen seem fully aware they're making something completely ridiculous, and instead of expecting us to take it seriously, they lean into the comedy. Unlike Amityville Rex, where the laughs mostly came from how unintentionally bad it was, the humor here actually feels intentional.

Amityvillenado (2026)

The finale is equally stupid in all the right ways, although the predictable ending and awkward survivors' dance party probably should have been left on the cutting room floor. Amityvillenado isn't a good movie by conventional standards, but it is an entertaining one if you're willing to embrace the stupidity. That might be enough, up to you.

https://jackmeat.com/amityvillenado-2026/

Amityville Rex (2026) | If you enjoy gloriously bad movies, Amityville Rex delivers enough accidental comedy to make the 69 minutes surprisingly painless. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.6/10. After I pressed play on Amityville Rex, I figured there was no possible way adding dinosaurs to the Amityville curse could make things any worse than last night's cinematic crime against humanity that was Amityville Backrooms.

Right? RIGHT???

I'll let you know in approximately 69 minutes.

With Mark Polonia directing, I already know exactly what kind of movie I am getting. Who could forget Mummy Shark? If you've seen one of his films, you've got a pretty good idea of the glorious bargain-bin stupidity you're about to experience.

The movie opens with the words "One Year Earlier." Earlier than what? Nothing has happened yet. Two random guys wander around the woods, decide the location is "perfect," then leave. Perfect for what? Don't worry, the movie has no intention of explaining itself.

Instead, we're treated to some educational text informing us that the Tyrannosaurus Rex was one of history's deadliest predators.

Thanks, movie. I was worried I'd accidentally confused it with a golden retriever.

Before long, a hiker discovers this fact firsthand, and that's where the special effects really announce themselves. The CGI dinosaur lumbers onto the screen and starts chomping people apart while gallons of digital blood explode everywhere. It's impossible not to laugh.

Once that's over, another text screen confidently declares Amityville to be "the most haunted and cursed location in American history." Is that actually true? Probably not. Has that ever stopped one of these movies? Absolutely not.

Then we get reporters discussing a museum exhibit, another Satanic ritual, and somehow dinosaurs become involved because... sure, why not? This is an Amityville movie. Internal logic left town about thirty sequels ago.

It is surprising how the effects bounce between CGI and stop-motion animation. It's a bizarre combination that never quite settles on a style, yet in some way this is what makes it amusing.

Trailer: https://vimeo.com/950867073/eec0c135f6

The story, however, is another matter.

A police officer literally witnesses the dinosaur attack, yet barely two minutes later dismisses someone claiming a dinosaur committed the murder as completely insane.

Buddy...you were THERE.

Characters constantly forget things they've just seen, motivations appear and disappear on a whim, and the plot simply shuffles everyone toward the next digital bloodbath.

Thankfully, the dinosaur has a very efficient hunting strategy. Nearly every victim loses only their head, allowing the filmmakers to unleash another glorious shower of CGI blood without worrying too much about the rest of the body.

It's absolutely ridiculous.

It's also surprisingly entertaining.

Not because it's good. Let's not get carried away. But because it embraces its own insanity with such unwavering confidence that I found myself laughing far more than groaning. Every questionable acting choice. Each awkward effect. All the nonsensical plot turns. It all somehow stacks into an experience that's impossible to take seriously.

Would I recommend Amityville Rex as a quality horror film?

Absolutely not.

Would I recommend it to friends who enjoy gathering around with a few (hundred) drinks to watch something spectacularly terrible?

Honestly...yes.

It's objectively awful, but I laughed enough that I'm letting it narrowly escape the #turkey label. Sometimes being entertaining for all the wrong reasons is enough.

Amityville Rex (2026)

One final note. The poster artwork deserves an award for false advertising. It's easily the best thing about the entire production and promises a movie the budget could only dream of delivering.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-rex-2026/

Amityville Backrooms (2024) | This movie trapped me in its own Backrooms, where every scene led back to the exact same boring scene. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 0.7/10. Thought I’d start my week-long Amityville experience (and when I say "experience," I really mean "torture") with Amityville Backrooms. After watching (and reviewing) Backrooms recently, I thought to myself, “Why not see what happens if I just throw the name Amityville onto another internet horror trend?”

I have my answer now. It was a mistake. At least letting Evan Jacobs make it.

The movie opens with some amateur footage of a guy discussing the idea of combining Amityville with the Backrooms on his podcast. That's followed by a news report featuring one of the most painfully obvious green screen effects you'll ever see as a reporter explains that an abandoned house in Amityville can't be sold. If this movie had a budget, I suspect somebody accidentally left it in another dimension before filming started.

We then meet Keith (Chris Lohman), who's trapped inside the house. He's the world's most irritating real estate guy, constantly calling about selling the house. His performance somehow manages to be even more grating than the endless stock howling noises that randomly appear on the soundtrack. Why is there howling? I have no idea. Wolves? Ghost wolves? Discount sound effects from a 1998 horror CD? Your guess is as good as mine.

Most of the next hour consists of Keith wandering around what looks like an entirely normal suburban home while talking to himself. He spends so much time standing in the kitchen I started wondering if the real horror was waiting for the kettle to boil.

The editing deserves a special mention. Keith walks somewhere. Cut. And suddenly he's back where he started. That's the entire movie. Repeat for 72 minutes.

At the 26-minute mark I checked the runtime. That is never a good sign.

By the 36-minute mark, it honestly felt like I'd been trapped in the Backrooms myself for a week.

Every so often the film throws in a superimposed ghostly face or a random creepy image, apparently to remind us it's supposed to be horror. The funniest part is Keith usually doesn't even notice any of it. The Backrooms creatures make blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearances while our hero continues having lengthy conversations with himself like he's forgotten the audience exists.

Eventually his coworker Alex (Mike Hartsfield) shows up...

...and exactly the same thing happens to him.

The end. That's it.

There are no twists. No escalating tension. No payoff. I couldn't spoil anything even if I wanted to because absolutely nothing happens. The concept had potential, but instead of creating the unsettling, reality-bending nightmare that made the Backrooms popular, the filmmakers somehow turned it into 72 minutes of watching a guy unsuccessfully navigate a very average-looking house.

Honestly, "Amityville: Two Middle-Aged Virgins Make a Movie" would've been a more accurate title.

This is easily one of the worst Amityville films I've sat through, and considering this franchise has produced more disasters than functioning haunted houses, that's saying something. It sits comfortably alongside Amityville: Mt. Misery Road in the race to the bottom. That link is the whole movie if you want to punish yourself.

Amityville Backrooms (2024)

If getting trapped in the Backrooms is supposed to drive you insane, watching Amityville Backrooms is probably the cheaper alternative.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-backrooms-2024/

Kraken (2026) | If you're after non-stop Kraken action, lower your expectations. If you like old-school creature features, you'll probably have fun. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Kraken tries to convince you that lurking beneath Norway's deepest fjord is a mythical sea monster capable of flattening boats, swallowing tourists, and ruining everyone's weekend. Unfortunately, it also expects you to wait...and wait...and wait before it remembers the title of the movie.

The film opens with some creepy black-and-white archival footage of locals being interviewed about mysterious sightings in the Sognefjord, immediately setting up a nice old-school monster mystery. Then we're treated to sweeping modern-day shots of the fjord that honestly deserve their own tourism commercial. It's stunning scenery, and for a while it's the most entertaining thing on screen.

Enter two jet ski enthusiasts who apparently graduated from the Horror Movie School of Bad Decisions. They decide it'd be hilarious to create their own whirlpool in the middle of the fjord. Spoiler alert: nature wins. They vanish into the depths, and the Kraken finally gets its first snack.

Sara Khorami plays Johanne, a marine biologist returning to her hometown after the mysterious disappearances. From there, director Pål Øie checks off nearly every box in the "nature has had enough of humanity" playbook. Missing tourists? Check. Environmental activists exposing dirty secrets on social media? Check. Scientists nobody listens to? Absolutely. All that's missing is someone suggesting they split up.

The biggest problem is that the movie spends so much time setting all of this up that the Kraken itself feels like it's stuck in traffic. For a film literally called Kraken, there is a surprising lack of...well...Kraken. I was beginning to think the creature had called in sick.

Once those enormous tentacles finally burst from the water, things improve considerably. The second half delivers some excitement, a handful of action scenes, and enough giant suction cups to satisfy those of you wondering what an octopus on steroids might look like. Sadly, they keep the monster mostly hidden, teasing us with tentacles and one massive eye instead of giving us the full mountain-sized nightmare.

The horror is fairly restrained, the body count isn't especially graphic, and you'll most likely guess who survives long before the credits. Still, there's something nostalgic about its straightforward creature-feature approach. It never tries to reinvent the genre. It simply wants to tell a classic "something enormous lives underwater, and everyone ignored the warning signs" story.

Kraken may not unleash enough monster mayhem to fully satisfy creature-feature fans, but once it finally lets its tentacles loose, it's entertaining enough to justify the slow journey. Just don't expect wall-to-wall sea monster action...because this Kraken definitely believes in being fashionably late.

Kraken (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/kraken-2026/

Disclosure Day (2026) | Spielberg still can put on a show. Shame the massive conspiracy reveal felt more like a polite shrug than a mic drop. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.6/10. It takes about thirty seconds for Disclosure Day to let you know you're not watching a typical alien conspiracy movie. It opens with a professional wrestling match. Nope, I'm not kidding.

And if you are also a wrestling fan, you might recognize it's Lance Archer taking on Brian Cage. Somewhere in the crowd, while everyone else is busy enjoying two giants trying to knock each other's heads off, Daniel (Josh O'Connor) has a different agenda. He's there to rescue Jane (Eve Hewson), and before long it's obvious he's carrying something that a very powerful corporation desperately wants back.

In 2026, the most valuable thing in the world isn't gold. It's data. That's about all I'll say because the less you know going in, the better.

If for some reason you didn't get that from the previews, this definitely has the Spielberg touch. This guy just does it so well that it's no wonder that he's still one of the best directors out there. And what else can you expect when the legendary John Williams comes along? Apparently, those two signed a friendship contract several decades ago that nobody is allowed to break. The score is classic Williams. Instantly recognizable without overtaking the whole show.

Emily Blunt is fantastic as Margaret Fairchild, a local weather reporter who accidentally finds herself becoming... well... something far more important than she ever planned. Wyatt Russell is solid as her boyfriend Jackson, while Colin Firth quietly steals scenes whenever he appears. Nobody phones it in here. The performances across the board are excellent.

The action is also handled nicely. Steven Spielberg still knows how to stage a chase sequence better than most directors half his age. Cars, helicopters, people sprinting through locations they probably shouldn't be sprinting through. It all looks fantastic. Sure, a few character decisions had me wondering if common sense had taken a sick day, but that's blockbuster cinema. If everyone made smart decisions, we'd lose about an hour of running time.

My biggest issue is that Disclosure Day feels like it's building toward a jaw-dropping revelation...and then it kind of shrugs.

The conspiracy never gives the payoff it promises, but even more bizarre is that there is no fallout from all this. This is one of those stories that you will definitely look at the person next to you and say, “Is that it?” If you have watched it, you know exactly what I mean.

That's too bad since everything leading up to it is genuinely entertaining. There is nonstop movement, a bit of mystery, and Spielberg shoots everything with his signature flair. The problem is that all of this excitement is building up to an anticlimactic ending.

I also couldn't help comparing it to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. That film left me thinking about it long after the credits rolled. Disclosure Day never landed that emotional punch. Instead of blowing my mind, it gave me a polite little nudge on the way out of the theater. The film shows that empathy exists in everyone, even if we call them the villains.

Maybe thirty years ago this ending would've sparked endless conversations. In today's TikTok-sized attention span world, though, audiences expect something that really sticks the landing, and this just doesn't quite get there.

Disclosure Day (2026)

Still, if you're looking for a slick conspiracy thriller with great performances, exciting action, and Spielberg doing Spielberg things, there's plenty to enjoy here. Just don't expect the universe's biggest secret to completely blow your socks off.

https://jackmeat.com/disclosure-day-2026/

Kill Trip (2026) | Road trips are supposed to create memories. Kill Trip mostly creates second-hand embarrassment. For me? The actors? Both. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. Talk about suckering me in. Kill Trip kicks off with a surprisingly stylish graphic novel-inspired opening credits sequence. The visuals themselves are rather impressive, and it briefly seems as if the credits will lead somewhere interesting that will tie back into the movie itself. They do…sort of. Just enough to remind you that writer/director Kristian McKay had at least one good idea.

Then reality hits.

We wake up with Katy (Diletta Guglielmi) and her group of four friends on their way to a Texas music festival. After demonstrating that not a single one of them possesses even a passing familiarity with rhythm, they're soon stranded on the side of the road. Enter Dallas (Tate Christensen), a friendly bloke driving a van who happily offers them a lift.

Because accepting a ride from a stranger in a creepy van has never gone badly in horror movies.

Oddly enough, Dallas turns out to be the most accommodating serial-killer-looking chauffeur imaginable. Need a swim? Sure. Want random sightseeing stops? No worries. He's practically running the world's least profitable Uber. The giant flashing warning signs couldn't be brighter if they were sponsored by Vegas.

The dialogue doesn't help matters. Every conversation feels painfully forced, with characters delivering lines that sound like they were generated by a "Teen Horror Dialogue" starter pack.

My personal favourite - "You think this guy picked us up to murder us, and then kill us." 36-minute mark if you think I am joking.

To make matters worse, the group spends so much time arguing with each other that you almost find yourself rooting for the mysterious van driver. These people don't seem to like each other, and before long neither will the audience.

There are a few light gore scenes scattered throughout, but nothing particularly memorable. The kills don't overshadow the stupidity of the script, and unfortunately that script is where Kill Trip completely falls apart. It borrows ideas from far better road-trip horrors without using them properly. That and the plot threads dangling everywhere don't help. All this before stumbling into an ending that's unintentionally hilarious.

It's frustrating because the opening storyboard and the basic premise had potential. With tighter writing and characters that behaved like actual human beings instead of walking horror clichés, there might have been a fun little indie slasher hiding underneath.

Kill Trip (2026)

Instead, Kill Trip spends most of its runtime trying to hitchhike on the success of better films and never reaches its destination.

https://jackmeat.com/kill-trip-2026/

The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026) | It's Star Wars with a Marvel vibe. Plenty of laughs, action and aliens, but don't expect that classic galaxy-far-far-away magic. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.1/10. Disney's latest trip back to a galaxy far, far away comes in the form of The Mandalorian and Grogu, where the Empire is gone but cleaning up the mess is proving to be a full-time job. The evil Empire has fallen, Imperial warlords are still scattered across space causing trouble while the New Republic tries to glue everything back together. To help keep the peace, they call in the galaxy's favourite babysitting bounty hunter, Din Djarin (Pedro Pascal), and his pint-sized apprentice, Grogu.

The movie opens with the usual Imperial board meeting. You know the drill. Someone questions the boss, someone gets shot for questioning the boss, and everyone else suddenly becomes very supportive of management. The only problem this time? Somebody crashes the party. I'll give you one guess who. And yes, Baby Yoda...sorry, Grogu...is along for the ride.

What follows can only be described as Disney standing in the middle of the room yelling, "Look what we can do with CGI!" Thankfully, it's not just visual flexing. It's also a great reminder that the Mandalorian can dismantle an army with the calm efficiency of someone crossing items off a grocery list. Before the opening credits even roll, you've already had about ten minutes of explosions, blaster fire, jetpacks, and general chaos. That's a pretty good way to start a movie.

Sigourney Weaver joins the Star Wars universe as Colonel Ward, the latest person willing to hire Mando for another impossible mission. We also get a fun nostalgic surprise when his first client turns out to be Jabba the Hutt's uncles looking to rescue Jabba's son, Rotta. It's a nice callback without feeling forced.

Visually, the movie is fantastic. The worlds are vibrant, the creatures are everywhere, and the underground fight sequence is packed with enough weird aliens to make the galaxy feel properly lived in again. There are plenty of Easter eggs and nods to classic Star Wars that fans will appreciate, while Grogu continues stealing every scene he appears in. Watching him suit up like a tiny green Rambo had me laughing. Whoever came up with that deserves a raise…or at least first pick at the buffet.

Oddly enough, my biggest criticism is also one of the movie's biggest compliments.

The Mandalorian and Grogu doesn't really feel like a movie. It feels like someone accidentally stitched together four really good episodes of The Mandalorian and said, "Yep...that's two hours, send it to cinemas." There are plenty of entertaining side quests, but no single storyline that ever feels massive enough to justify the jump to the big screen. That's not really a knock on the film because the series has always been consistently entertaining. It just never quite reaches the cinematic scale I was hoping for.

I also never got that classic Star Wars feeling. The sweeping orchestral moments are mostly missing, the story never feels truly epic despite hopping all over the galaxy, and the whole experience occasionally feels like Marvel borrowed Mando's helmet for the weekend. Fun? Absolutely. Legendary? Not quite.

If you're already a fan of The Mandalorian, you'll probably have a blast. It's packed with action, humour, familiar faces, fantastic creatures and plenty of Grogu being impossibly adorable.

If you're a lifelong Star Wars fan looking for the next big cinematic event, you'll probably enjoy it, but don't expect it to recapture the magic of the original films.

And if you've never watched the series? You'll probably spend two hours wondering why everyone keeps risking their lives for a tiny green puppet...before eventually deciding you'd probably risk your life for him too.

Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/the-mandalorian-and-grogu-2026/

The Breach (2022) | The Breach is like an all-you-can-eat horror buffet where none of the dishes match, but you're weirdly glad you stayed. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Some horror movies slowly build toward insanity. The Breach blew off the instructions, threw every horror trope into a blender, hit "liquefy," and hoped nobody noticed.

Sometimes it works. Most of the time, I was wondering what exactly I was watching.

Chief of Police John Hawkins (Allan Hawco) is only days away from escaping the tiny town of Lone Crow forever. Naturally, because horror movies have a strict "no retirement without trauma" policy, a horribly mutilated body washes up along the Porcupine River. Instead of spending his final week packing boxes and saying awkward goodbyes, Hawkins finds himself investigating a mystery that quickly spirals into body horror, cosmic horror, science gone wrong, and enough goo to make any practical effects artist smile.

The biggest problem with The Breach isn't that it's bad. It's that it constantly reminds you how good it could have been.

Director Rodrigo Gudiño throws a lot onto the screen. There are hints of Lovecraftian horror, psychological tension, gruesome creature effects, mystery, conspiracy, and enough strange events that you begin wondering if the script accidentally shuffled its own pages. Every individual ingredient sounds fantastic, but they never fully come together into the terrifying feast they're aiming for. It's that horror buffet where none of the dishes match.

As Linda, the mysterious wife of the town scientist, Natalie Brown is definitely the standout performer. She brings an eerie sense of presence to every scene that she appears in, with something far more to her than what meets the eye. But before we can learn anything about her, the movie takes us off on another odd tangent.

That becomes the recurring theme throughout the movie.

Every time The Breach starts building momentum, it immediately gets distracted by another idea.

The pacing never quite settles into a rhythm. One moment it is establishing suspense, the next one, throwing out-of-the-blue exposition, and then going crazy on monsters again. Instead of mystery, the constant detours make the story feel disconnected. Instead of wondering what's coming next, I found myself wondering whether the writers remembered where they were heading in the first place.

Thankfully, us horror fans still have something to enjoy.

The creature effects are clearly the best part of the movie. It is always great to see practical effects get so much attention in an age when CGI takes the spotlight in most movies. The creature designs in some cases are rather frightening and provide some of the best parts of the movie.

Almost.

The atmosphere also deserves some credit. The isolated Canadian setting creates a bleak backdrop, and the eerie soundtrack maintains that uncomfortable mood even when the story starts wandering off into the forest.

By the time the credits rolled, I wasn't angry. I was just disappointed.

The Breach had all the ingredients to become a fantastic Lovecraft-inspired horror film. Strong practical effects. An intriguing premise. Some solid performances. Hell, even some genuinely creepy moments are in there. They simply never lock together into the terrifying experience I had hoped for.

The Breach (2022)

It's still an entertaining 90-minute creature feature if you're a fan of cosmic horror, practical effects, or movies that embrace weirdness without apology. Just don't expect every question to be answered. Or even for every subplot to remember it exists. Sometimes the biggest breach wasn't reality. It was the script.

https://jackmeat.com/the-breach-2022/

Dropbear (2025) | I can't decide what looked faker. The stuffed dropbear, the CGI monsters, or the moving truck that clearly wasn't moving. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. I popped on Dropbear expecting some low-budget Aussie creature feature nonsense. What I got was…well…exactly that. The difference is that somewhere along the way it becomes so unbelievably ridiculous that you can't help but laugh. AT IT!

It opens with a few mates around a campfire before one wanders off for a midnight piss. He spots a red-eyed koala-looking creature in a tree, there's a bit of snarling, and next thing you know he's hanging upside down as the title card appears. It's cheesy from the very first scene, which sets the tone perfectly.

We then meet four American tourists signing up for a "real Australian adventure" led by two blokes who couldn't look more suspicious if they tried. The brunette is the only one showing any common sense while everyone else happily walks straight into every bad decision imaginable.

The tiny budget becomes obvious almost immediately. During the driving scenes, the truck clearly isn't moving. Everyone just bounces around while the driver wildly jerks the steering wheel. Once you notice it, it's impossible not to laugh.

The guides eventually try the classic fake dropbear prank using what looks like a stuffed toy, but things go sideways when they discover the legends are actually real. Although I'm honestly not sure what looked faker - the stuffed animal or the CGI dropbears that attack later.

Then the movie completely loses its mind.

The group stumbles across a secret government research facility, and we're introduced to the king of the dropbears. He's basically a full-grown bloke wearing a bear costume…who can talk. I genuinely burst out laughing. The flashback showing him as a baby somehow tops it by using an incredibly obvious hand puppet. It's so spectacularly silly that it circles back around to being entertaining.

Writer and director John DeCaux also throws in an ending that feels heavily inspired by Peter Jackson's Bad Taste. It's a fun nod to one of cult cinema's greatest splatter comedies, and I'll happily give credit where it's due. Sadly, borrowing a great ending doesn't magically fix everything that came before it.

The acting is brutal across the board, with performances ranging from wooden to outright painful, although by the time a talking mutant dropbear is delivering dialogue, I almost stopped caring.

Even the end credits get a laugh thanks to a surprisingly funny song, and there's a bizarre post-credit sequel tease featuring what sounds like a Donald Trump impersonator calling the research lab.

Dropbear is objectively a mess. The effects are laughable, the acting is poor, and the production values barely scrape by. But somewhere underneath all that is a movie that understands just how absurd its premise is.

It's not good. It's not even close. But I'll admit. I laughed far more than I expected.

Sometimes that's enough.

Dropbear (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/dropbear-2025/

Sunset Strip Killers (2026) | Sunset Strip Killers proves one thing - love makes people do crazy things, like willingly joining a murder spree. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. Sunset Strip Killers doesn't waste any time. It opens with a woman sprinting for her life before some blond bloke casually shoots her full of holes. Well...that's one way to kick things off. One body down before the opening credits. Efficient.

Then we're dumped into a dodgy little country bar where everyone looks like they've had a rough decade. It's New Year's Eve, 1980, Carol gets herself thrown out, bumps into Doug, and if you were paying attention, you'll recognise him from that little murder we just watched. Carol really does have an Olympic-level talent for picking absolute winners.

Doug takes her to a party where they somehow end up meeting John Holmes during a movie shoot, which honestly wasn't on my bingo card. Somewhere around here, I realised I'd completely confused this with another trailer I'd seen. That explained why the movie wasn't going where I thought it would.

Unfortunately, it doesn't really go anywhere particularly interesting.

For a film based on one of LA's most notorious serial killer couples, everything happens way too easily. Doug basically tells Carol he's a murderer, and instead of running for the nearest police station she's practically reaching for the hacksaw. Before long she's happily helping remove heads like she's been waiting her whole life for the opportunity. Maybe the real story unfolded that smoothly, but the movie sure doesn't sell it.

The biggest problem is the acting.

Max E. Williams is at least entertaining enough as Doug, but Susan Priver never quite convinces as Carol. Every beat feels just a little off, which is a shame because with stronger performances, the simple script might've actually worked. Instead, it all feels a bit like a true crime reenactment you'd catch at two in the morning after falling asleep with the TV on.

One thing Chad Ferrin (Scalper, Night Caller) keeps getting right, though, is practical effects. As always, the gore feels like old-school stuff, messy and fun but not drenched in lousy computer graphics. The film is imbued with that cheap straight-to-video feel of something you’d watch from a dusty videotape at the local video store back in 1991. Probably its greatest strength.

The film also keeps the real-life necrophilia angle mostly off-screen. It's mentioned, but never shown, so don't go expecting the movie to wander into that level of uncomfortable.

By the end I wasn't bored, but I also wasn't particularly invested. The practical effects deserve a nod, the true story is fascinating, but the performances never let Sunset Strip Killers escape its B-grade roots.

It's worth a look if you're into low-budget serial killer flicks or true crime adaptations. Just don't expect anything that'll stick with you much longer than it takes Carol to decide murder sounds like a fun new hobby.

Sunset Strip Killers (2026)

If you're curious about the actual Doug Clark and Carol Bundy case, it's honestly a far more bizarre and disturbing rabbit hole than the movie manages to capture.

https://jackmeat.com/sunset-strip-killers-2026/

Backrooms (2026) | Backrooms looks fantastic and creates some genuinely creepy moments, but even a supernatural office maze needs a better business plan. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. Backrooms is another horror movie getting plenty of attention, so naturally I had to see if this internet-born concept could actually work as a feature film. The idea has already become popular through countless YouTube videos, although I personally never made it more than a couple of minutes into them because I always thought they were kind of ridiculous. An endless yellow office space with creepy noises? Congratulations, you invented the world’s worst workplace tour.

We start with some grainy home video footage from around 1990 inside the familiar yellow corridors. If you know the Backrooms, you know exactly what this is. A man is wandering through this strange dimension, trying to broadcast a message to anyone who might hear him. He has seen something. He does not know what it is. And he would really like someone to come find him before this chase is over.

The opening leans heavily into jump scares and creepy imagery, which seems to be the entire point. There are some great visuals as he runs through the endless halls before eventually being cornered. The recording ends, and that is where the actual movie begins.

We are introduced to Clark (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who is talking with therapist Mary (Renate Reinsve). Clark is clearly unhappy with his life, especially his job as a furniture salesman. His embarrassing commercial we see him filming might be the most terrifying thing in the movie. Nothing says “I have lost control of my life” quite like pretending to be excited about selling couches.

When an electrician discovers a strange breaker at Clark’s store that appears to be connected to nothing, Clark decides the logical thing to do is investigate the creepy basement himself. After being thrown out of his house, he starts staying at the store to figure out what is happening with the strange electrical problems.

Naturally, he ends up messing with the fuse box and walking through a wall into another dimension.

The usual.

One thing I appreciated is that Clark actually makes a smart horror movie decision. Instead of just telling everyone about this impossible discovery and hoping they believe him, he brings his employees along and uses a camera to document the place. Finally, someone in a horror movie remembers that evidence is useful.

The Backrooms themselves are easily the highlight. The cinematography is excellent. The visual effects are solid. The movie does a great job of creating a feeling of isolation. Nice trifecta. There is something quite unsettling about being trapped in a place that seems endless and completely disconnected from reality.

Unfortunately, the story never reaches the same level as the atmosphere. I was interested in the idea that the Backrooms represented loneliness, depression, and feeling trapped in a life you don't want. There was something interesting there. Then the movie shifts direction, and the ending weakens a lot of what had been built throughout the runtime.

Since I have been binging the original The Twilight Zone recently, I also have to mention the episode “Little Girl Lost.” I watched it only a couple of weeks ago, and the similarities immediately stood out. A person disappearing into another dimension through an impossible opening in reality? My Twilight Zone alarm went off pretty quickly. Maybe Kane Parsons has talked about that influence before, but it was impossible for me not to notice.

Overall, Backrooms is a good horror movie that could have been great. The visuals, atmosphere, and concept are all there, but the story and ending hold it back. It is a fascinating idea that needed a stronger payoff.

Backrooms (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/backrooms-2026/

Pitfall (2025) | Somewhere, my old Atari is smiling because Pitfall proves falling into spike pits is bad for your camping trip. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Pitfall wastes absolutely no time throwing people into holes. We kick things off with a woman and her daughter sprinting down a lonely forest road while an old pickup truck gives chase. The opening credits are still rolling when I spot Randy Couture in the cast, so naturally I'm expecting somebody to tap out.

Mom and daughter duck into the woods, think they've finally escaped, and then a deer demonstrates why you should never trust random patches of forest floor. Straight into a spike pit it goes. If you suddenly had flashbacks to the old Pitfall! video game, you're not alone.

Of course, the truck never actually left. Mom's exit from the movie is delivered with satisfying practical effects, and the daughter ends up trapped in the pit herself.

Then we jump to daylight, where a completely different family is cruising along in an SUV, playing Never Have I Ever. You know you're watching a horror movie because they're smiling and having a good time. That's basically signing your own death warrant. Those same inconsiderate deer interrupt the road trip, and we meet Scott (Marshall Williams), who wakes from a nightmare revealing he was part of that opening family. He's now travelling with his sister Ashley (Alexandra Essoe) and their own families.

Translation: the body count bus has officially arrived.

From there, Pitfall settles comfortably into an old-school slasher groove. The killer isn't interested in sprinting after victims. They stalk slowly, methodically, and possess that familiar "you can knock me down but you certainly can't keep me there" durability that us horror fans know all too well.

The effects are mostly a decent mix of practical gore with CGI blood. For the majority of the runtime, the digital enhancements don't really stand out in a bad way. Unfortunately, once the rain arrives, so does some CGI blood that looks like it snuck in from a much cheaper movie. It doesn't completely ruin the scene, but it definitely caught my attention.

There is one extended dramatic sequence that had me scratching my head. Without spoiling anything, characters suddenly know a truck is coming and rush to get out of its way...despite having absolutely no logical reason to know it was approaching. Maybe someone unlocked horror movie clairvoyance for thirty seconds. It felt like the script needed the moment more than the story did.

There is a little sting at the end of Pitfall that can either serve as a last scare or as a hint for making a sequel out of it, whatever director James Kondelik decides to do.

Pitfall (2025)

At the end of the day, Pitfall isn't reinventing the slasher genre, but that doesn't mean it is a bad flick. It delivers traps, spikes, a persistent killer, ample gore for us horror fans, and just enough goofy moments. It's the kind of movie where you stop questioning why people keep wandering into obvious danger and instead follow right behind.

https://jackmeat.com/pitfall-2025/

Blowie (2025) | The body count takes forever to start, but the tallywhacker count wastes absolutely no time. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 1.7/10. Sometimes I think I'm about to watch some obscure little slasher. This time I accidentally watched guy-on-guy porn with a horror movie tacked on the end. Blowie follows a group of adult content creators who rent a mansion in the middle of nowhere to film content. After a tragic (and pretty funny) accident, they're stalked by a doll-faced killer known only as...Blowie.

Yep. That's the premise.

I only pressed play because it sounded gloriously stupid, and at a brisk 75 minutes, I figured, "How much damage can it do?"

The answer? Plenty.

The movie opens with upbeat music and full frontal male nudity. Not in a sexy way—one guy's simply making a dash to the toilet. From there, we're introduced to a house full of adult performers, dildos scattered around for photo shoots, and enough softcore guy-on-guy content to make you wonder if you've clicked the wrong streaming service.

Meanwhile, one bloke is literally being suffocated with lubricant while lying on the floor, and somehow nobody notices. Horror movie logic is alive and well.

Then a new guy joins the house, more fetishes get filmed, and before long someone suggests dumping a body in the nearest pond. Congratulations, we've finally stumbled into a horror setup... except the movie still seems far more interested in filming content than creating suspense.

If you've ever wondered what happens when an OnlyFans shoot collides with a bargain-bin slasher. I'll stop there because, NO, you haven't. But if so, this is it. I've seen horror movies with less nudity. And I've seen porn with a better plot. I lost count of the tallywhackers on screen. Bonus points if you know which classic comedy made "tallywhacker" part of my vocabulary.

The funniest part?

The filmmakers appear to remember they were making a horror movie at almost exactly the one-hour mark. Up until then, it's mostly adult content with occasional reminders that someone brought a killer along.

Once the kills finally arrive, they're practical enough. There's a little splatter, but nothing memorable. The mansion itself is probably the best thing in the movie.

Trying to find positives became a horror movie in itself.

To its credit, Blowie does attempt to make a point about the financial insecurity of digital sex workers and payment platforms freezing creators' income. It's a message that's understandable, but it's delivered with all the subtlety of a brick through a window. It never connected with me because I didn't give a crap about any of the characters.

In the end, Blowie somehow fails as both horror and comedy. The scares arrive far too late, the kills aren't worth the wait, and if you came looking for a slasher, you'll spend most of the runtime wondering when it plans to start.

If, however, your idea of a good time is watching a group of untalented performers make adult content before a killer briefly crashes the party...

Well, congratulations. You've finally found your movie.

Blowie (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/blowie-2025/

The Boogeyman (2023) | Every grieving family in horror should seriously consider moving into a brightly lit apartment instead of creepy old houses. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. The Boogeyman had me thinking one thing as soon as the credits rolled. This is a really well-made horror movie...that I doubt I'll remember in six months. Everything works, but almost nothing struck me as "fresh".

The story involves the two sisters named Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair), mourning the loss of their mom, while their dad (Chris Messina) tries his best to keep them all together. What else could possibly go wrong? How about an evil entity deciding that their home was just the right place to settle in?

One thing The Boogeyman absolutely nails is the mood. Stephen King has always been a master of that, and this short story is no exception. Rob Savage is adept at creating suspense, and the filming makes good use of darkness without making it impossible to see anything. Imagine that. We are able to see what's trying to kill everyone. This film keeps you constantly scanning the background for movement, and it will keep you looking over your shoulder.

Thatcher easily stands out as the anchor of the film. She sells the grief, frustration, and fear in a way that feels genuine without becoming that annoying drama. The rest of the cast does a solid job as well, even if the script doesn't always give them a lot to work with.

Of course, as soon as the fear wears off, The Boogeyman begins to tick off clichés in its own little box, one by one. Those of you who have seen plenty of supernatural horror movies will definitely recognize everything that is going to happen well in advance of the characters in the movie. The Boogeyman itself is pretty scary, although it does not really have much more than just being some shadowy beast hanging around in dark corners. But then again, who expects a resumé from the Boogeyman? It's basically every parent's emergency bedtime threat finally getting its own movie, again.

I wish the film had focused a bit more on the psychological side of grief. It flirts with some interesting ideas about trauma feeding the monster. Unfortunately, it cannot help itself and just flips back to the tried-and-true jump scares.

Despite its flaws, The Boogeyman is quite entertaining. Once again, Rob Savage has shown that he knows how to make good use of his talent and create a scary movie with good visuals and atmosphere. Though it might not be groundbreaking and memorable enough, for those who look for a well-made supernatural horror movie that has some decent scare factors, there is enough in The Boogeyman to switch the lights off. At least until bedtime.

The Boogeyman (2023)

https://jackmeat.com/the-boogeyman-2023/

Scared to Death (2026) | Horror movies really need to stop proving that séances are the worst group activity ever invented. Maybe just play Uno instead. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Two years it took Scared to Death before it showed up in front of us. Is it worth the wait? Sure, sorta. But don’t expect something revolutionary to come out of this haunted house flick.

Jasper (Olivier Paris) is a struggling young filmmaker trying to break into the directing world and finds himself at the right place after finding an abandoned children’s home that has been abandoned for 70 years. Then caretaker Felix (Bill Moseley) suggests they hold a séance while they're there. Because nothing says "this'll be fine" quite like willingly inviting ghosts to the party.

The movie begins with an old newspaper clipping about five orphaned children who were terrified, with the headline Scared to Death. It is an easy way to start a story, and after the séance begins, this little historical item becomes relevant again.

Then there's Lin Shaye as director Max. She reminds Jasper he isn't the producer. He's the PA. And she doesn't exactly sugarcoat it. Seriously, I could watch Shaye insult people for 90 minutes and still have a good time. Even when she's being an absolute bitch, she's brilliant.

One of the funniest moments comes early when Felix jokes with Jasper about someone called The Grog (Kurt Deimer) being horror royalty. Hearing Bill Moseley say that had me laughing. Mate...YOU'RE the horror royalty. Between The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and The Devil's Rejects, you've earned the plate. To lick. Click to understand my joke.

The rest of the crew is introduced, including Lena (Victoria Konefal), who has "final girl" written all over her from the second she appears. She's even playing the final girl in the movie they're filming, Dead House. Subtle? Not even close, bud. Man, I am full of movie quotes tonight,

As the séance begins, Felix produces the same newspaper clipping about the orphaned children being found dead in the attic. Champ (Jade Chynoweth) suddenly decides that "stoners and spooks don't mix" and heads for the exit. Fair enough. I'd probably make the same decision...although we soon find out she isn't being entirely honest.

Can we all agree that creepy kids are basically horror's cheat code? Give them weird facial expressions, have them stand silently in a hallway, and job done. Instant nightmare fuel. The film gets plenty of mileage out of that, and Shaye absolutely sells the fear. The makeup effects on her are pretty solid, too.

I also liked that they threw in a bit of comedy between the scares. It gives the whole thing an old-school ghost story vibe instead of relying on jump scares every five minutes.

Then we get to the ending.

For one glorious moment, I honestly thought, "No way...they're actually going there." I was ready to applaud the filmmakers for having some serious balls. Then...they bottled it. No spoilers, but you'll probably know the exact moment if you check it out. It was such a disappointing cop-out because I thought for sure they were about to do something memorable.

Scared to Death (2026)

Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye carry this movie harder than the ghosts do. Without those two, my score would be quite a bit lower. As it stands, Scared to Death is a fun enough haunted house flick with some laughs, creepy kids doing creepy kid things, and a finale that needed to grow a backbone.

https://jackmeat.com/scared-to-death-2026/

Man of War (2026) | If you've been missing those old-school rescue mission action movies, Man of War scratches that itch without reinventing the genre. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. There are bad days, and then there are "your aid worker friend calls to tell you Russia has invaded Ukraine before immediately getting kidnapped" bad days. Man of War doesn't waste any time getting to the action.

It opens with radio chatter announcing the invasion of Ukraine before giving us a sweeping aerial shot of Barcelona on February 24, 2022. Down below is Connor (LaMonica Garrett), doing his best impression of someone who's holding the last bottle of booze on Earth. Sure enough, his phone rings. Riley (Rosmary Yaneva) calls to say the Russians have crossed the border, and moments later she's dragged away by armed militants.

Helpful bunch too. One of the kidnappers even grabs the phone long enough for Connor to get a good look at him. That's either incredibly arrogant or surprisingly accommodating. Either way, if you've ever watched an action movie, you already know the next step.

Connor calls his old CIA contact Charlie (Jason Patric), demands a flight into a freshly invaded war zone, and before long they're on their way to Kyiv. Once there, he's teamed up with local guide Dany (Andrew Howard), who quickly learns Connor isn't the type to stop and negotiate. The local mafia certainly finds that out the hard way.

Filmed in Bulgaria, Man of War actually does a respectable job selling the illusion of a devastated Ukraine. The production design carries more weight than you'd expect, helped by the involvement of Ukrainian refugee actors whose real-life experiences inspired many of the small background details throughout the film. Those touches give the setting an authenticity that stands out more than the fairly standard rescue mission at its core.

Connor eventually joins forces with a hardened team of private contractors led by Bunny (Linds Edwards) as they push deeper into occupied territory. Their target is Koniev (Daniel Bernhardt), the mercenary commander responsible for Riley's capture. What follows is exactly what the trailer promises. Artillery barrages, drone strikes, collapsing buildings, and enough bullets fired to make you wonder where they are carrying all these magazines.

Garrett makes for a likeable lead, similar to his take on Lioness. Bernhardt is always welcome, especially when he turns up as the villain. Director William Kaufman keeps the action moving at a brisk pace, even if the story rarely surprises. Every beat feels familiar, from assembling the team to the inevitable final assault on the enemy stronghold.

I honestly kept expecting Michael Jai White to stroll in because this has that exact STS action feel of many of his recent films. That's not necessarily a bad thing if that's what you're after. Man of War delivers plenty of shootouts, explosions, and tough-guy one-liners without pretending to be anything more.

Man of War (2026)

It's my definition of an average action flick. Nothing terrible, nothing particularly memorable either. If you're looking to switch your brain off for 110 minutes and watch heavily armed people solve every problem with more gunfire, it'll do the job just fine.

https://jackmeat.com/man-of-war-2026/