Apex (2026) | Beautiful to look at, stressful as hell, and a great reminder that the Aussie outdoors is exactly why I stay inside. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. Sometimes you watch a movie for the story, other times you watch because the scenery is so gorgeous you ignore the fact that someone is about to take the express route off a mountain. Apex lands somewhere nicely in the middle.

The film opens with one of those immediate “absolutely not, count me out” moments as Sasha (Charlize Theron) and her husband Tommy (Eric Bana) are hanging off the side of a mountain like it is a casual weekend hobby. I am already stressed just watching them clip in. The cinematography wastes no time showing off the jagged terrain, and just when I was admiring the view, that ominous score crept in and lets us know somebody is about to discover gravity the hard way.

Sure enough, the initial tragedy strikes hard, leaving Sasha with guilt-filled baggage that accompanies her throughout the movie. Moving forward five months, the tale moves onto Australian soil, where cinematographer Lawrence Sher totally steals the show. The Blue Mountains are captured with breathtaking scale and texture, the kind of imagery that makes every frame look like a tourism campaign directed by someone with a very dark sense of humor. Since those mountains are basically right over there (I'm pointing at a window), it is quite fitting to see them used as both beauty and nightmare fuel.

Of course, because movies insist on doing this, every random Aussie bloke Sasha runs into is framed like he either has excellent hiking tips or several bodies hidden nearby. Ben (Taron Egerton) gives off immediate serial killer energy, and Apex does not exactly try to hide it. Once Sasha heads out into the wilderness by kayak, I had the same practical thought you did. How exactly are we getting back to the truck here? Miles. Sorry, kilometers downstream, and apparently, the return plan is just teleportation.

Before that becomes a concern, Apex throws in another very relatable Australian horror moment. Snake in the tent. Honestly, for a second, I actually wondered if the movie was going to go into nature survival rather than human hunting. Sasha, as expected, views this situation as a nuisance and continues rowing like poisonous snakes are on his agenda.

Then Ben’s real game begins.

From there, Apex moves into a typical psycho hunting victims in the wilderness movie. Complete with its ritualistic undertones and disgusting revelations about Ben's obsession, making it more terrifying. Some of the escape route logic stretches credibility, and yes, the broader story beats can feel predictable. I could often see where the next turn was heading long before the movie got there.

Still, the tension works because the film smartly keeps the focus tight. This is mostly a two-person showcase, and both Theron and Egerton do strong work carrying it. Theron, in particular, sells Sasha’s gradual shift from grieving survivor to something colder and more ruthless. That transformation becomes the core of the movie, even when the plot itself follows familiar tracks.

In the end, Apex may not revolutionize the genre of being stalked in the wilderness, but it’s slick enough to make the 90-minute film run fly by. And considering I can be in the Blue Mountains in a couple of hours, this did not exactly inspire confidence in any future day trips.

Apex (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/apex-2026/

They Will Kill You (2026) | A bloody, darkly hilarious flick that knows exactly how ridiculous it is and has a blast with every severed limb. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.2/10. I have been looking forward to They Will Kill You ever since that first trailer dropped, and thankfully, this one delivers exactly the kind of campy and unhinged chaos I hoped for. If you go in expecting subtlety, this movie will probably laugh in your face, quote the devil, and then hit you with a flaming axe.

The film opens with a wonderfully cynical tone: two young people staring into a bizarre mannequin display posed like some perfect wealthy suburban family, while the line “When poor people give to rich people, the devil laughs” flashes like a warning label for everything to come. It is one of those openings that instantly tells you this movie has something mean and darkly funny on its mind. That humor is immediately undercut by a far more brutal scene as the pair flees from their father, culminating in the older sibling being forced to shoot him after the chilling line, “You’ll never touch her again.” Not exactly a cheery start, but it got my attention.

Ten years later, Asia Reaves - initially going by Isabel and played by Zazie Beetz - arrives for a housekeeping job in a towering NYC high-rise. Naturally, because horror movie employment opportunities are never normal, the building comes with a long history of disappearances and an atmosphere so suspicious it might as well have a neon sign blinking RUN. Patricia Arquette’s Lily Woodhouse welcomes her in, and as a longtime fan ever since True Romance, it was great seeing Arquette bring that same magnetic screen presence here.

Writer-director Kirill Sokolov wastes absolutely no time letting the weirdness loose. Everyday sounds, creaking pipes, footsteps, elevator noises, are used brilliantly to build tension before masked attackers descend on Asia’s room in a full-blown assault sequence less than twenty minutes in. It instantly brought back the same “what in the actual hell is happening?” energy from his criminally overlooked Why Don't You Just Die!. And once the violence kicks in, it really kicks in. This thing goes all in on comic-book-style gore, with blood spraying like the building’s plumbing system is filled with red paint.

At this point, I am wondering how they are going to keep up the pace. Once the truth comes out that “Isabel” is actually Asia Reaves, the same girl from the opening, the film opens up into something even wilder. Dark humor, a temple for Satan, rich people being predictably awful, and the kind of plot escalation where you just shrug and say, sure, why not? Watching Heather Graham’s character get her head blown clean off is the sort of moment that tells you death here is less a consequence and more a temporary inconvenience.

We get to meeting Maria Reaves (Myha'la), the reason big sister came looking in the first place. The back half leans even harder into the madness with an enjoyably goofy flaming axe fight, a surprisingly decent new depiction of Satan, and a sword fight near the end that is so bizarrely entertaining I genuinely do not want to spoil who it is between. It is one of those sequences that makes you grin because it fully commits to the insanity.

They Will Kill You (2026)

Best of all, They Will Kill You absolutely flies by. There is barely any slowdown, and Sokolov never misses a chance to throw more blood, guts, and black comedy at the screen. It is stylish, violent, weirdly funny, and just cynical enough to make its “damn rich people” theme land.

https://jackmeat.com/they-will-kill-you-2026/

57 Seconds (2023) | Morgan Freeman does his absolute best to make this messy sci-fi thriller look smarter than it really is. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. Sometimes a flick can tell you exactly what you’re in for right from the opening frame, and 57 Seconds wastes absolutely no time doing just that. We open on a plane already in full crash mode, with our narrator politely introducing the passengers like we’re being handed a seating chart for the upcoming disaster. It is one of those “start at the chaos, then rewind to explain how we got here” openings that screams, don’t think too hard about this.

At the center of the madness is Franklin Fausti, played by Josh Hutcherson, a blogger who stumbles into the orbit of tech visionary Anton Burrell, played by the always commanding Morgan Freeman. After thwarting an attack on Burrell, Franklin finds a ring that allows its wearer to travel exactly 57 seconds into the past. It is a fun sci-fi hook, and honestly, there is some genuine potential in the concept. The problem is what the movie decides to do with it.

Instead of immediately diving into high-concept thrills, Franklin basically starts using time travel like it is a cheat code for theft and forced swipe rights. Before the revenge plot against the pharmaceutical company responsible for his sister’s death really gets going, he is already using the ring for selfish reasons, including nudging romantic outcomes in his favor. It makes it incredibly difficult to look at him as some heroic underdog when his first instinct is essentially, what if I used science fiction to improve my dating odds? Not exactly the most inspiring protagonist move.

That is really where 57 Seconds stumbles the most. When you have such a complex storyline about revenge, corruption, and messing around with time, there are just so many absurdly stupid decisions made that it seems as if common sense must have been the very first one sacrificed on that altar. Franklin, the hero of the story, doesn’t really come across as one. In fact, I was waiting all through the film to see him get smacked upside the head.

Still, if you approach this as a bit of innocent sci-fi fun, there is enough here to make it an okay watch. The premise alone keeps things moving, and Morgan Freeman does what Morgan Freeman has done for decades - show up and make a flawed movie look far more respectable than it probably deserves. His presence alone keeps the whole thing from completely falling apart.

On the other hand, Josh Hutcherson gives us the bare minimum. It’s adequate enough, yet the whole notion of having him play the lead in an action-thriller doesn’t seem like such a good idea. The movie isn’t anything daring or clever, resorting to convenient plot elements and actions existing to keep the script moving.

57 Seconds (2023)

My advice? Give 57 Seconds a shot, but do not overthink it. The moment you start pulling at the logic, the whole thing unravels faster than the timeline itself.

https://jackmeat.com/57-seconds-2023/

Hive (2026) | Hive starts strong with terrifying chalk-demon kids, then slowly turns into a suburban horror movie defeated by what’s basically kitchen sugar. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. I thought the trailer looked decent, so I popped on Hive. It opens with a scene that will make you side-eye every playground you ever drive past. Kids are happily going to town with sidewalk chalk, drawing away in total innocence, when a bleeding woman stumbles into frame like she just escaped a much better horror movie. Instead of helping, the little monsters just keep sketching as her fate quite literally gets drawn out in front of her. Broken bones, blood, and an immediate reminder that horror movies have spent decades warning us about creepy children for a reason. Kids are evil. Cinema has spoken.

After the credits, Hive shifts its focus to Sasha, played by Xochitl Gomez, a tightly wound, anxiety-fueled teenager who gets dropped off by her brother Marco (Aaron Dominguez) for what should be a simple babysitting gig in one of those rich suburban gated communities that practically screams, “something awful happens here after dark.” The first red flag comes almost immediately when Sasha is given one very specific rule: do not take the kid outside. Naturally, within what feels like five minutes, she takes the kid straight to the park. Scholarship recommendation? Apparently unimportant.

From there, Hive settles into a strange blend of suburban paranoia, body-snatcher weirdness, and what feels like a not-so-subtle satire of hive-mind neighborhood culture. The kids at the park are genuinely unsettling, and honestly, they steal the show. Their performances do most of the work when it comes to fright. Victoria Firsova’s Zaley absolutely nails the snobby, unsettling rich-kid energy too, making every scene she’s in feel just a little more off.

The problem is that once Hive gets past its strong opening setup, it starts failing pretty hard. The concept itself has some promise, but the film never really explains how any of it works in a satisfying way. The hive force, the infected behavior, and especially the sugar weakness all feel pulled out of a hat. Regular sugar is the weapon of choice here, which raises some deeply important scientific questions. Are we dealing with an alien fungus that forgot to manage its glucose levels? Is this the first horror villain defeated by pantry staples?

A lot of the choices feel like writer/director Felipe Vargas had a cool visual idea first and then worked backward to justify it later. Some moments are undeniably stylish, and credit absolutely goes to the direction and cinematography (Carmen Cabana) because there are flashes of genuinely solid filmmaking throughout Hive. Unfortunately, those moments are trapped inside a story that asks its characters to make one baffling decision after another.

And wow, these characters make some choices. Horror movie logic is one thing, but Hive often feels like its leads are actively sprinting toward danger as a lifestyle decision. Escape routes appear, logic briefly enters the room, and then everyone collectively decides to do the exact opposite.

Hive (2026)

In the end, Hive mostly survives on atmosphere and sheer weirdness. It’s not particularly scary, the gore is limited, and the story doesn’t land nearly as hard as I wanted. Still, if you enjoy strange suburban horror with creepy kids and a few unintentional laughs, there’s just enough here to keep it watchable.

https://jackmeat.com/hive-2026/

Protector (2026) | Milla Jovovich spends 72 hours proving that kidnapping the daughter of a trained war hero is an awful business decision. Who knew, LOL. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Protector didn't hesitate to make one thing obvious. This isn’t going to be a feel-good mother-daughter brunch movie. It opens with some grim text exposition about human sex trafficking statistics, setting a dark and urgent tone right out of the gate. From there, the film pivots to Milla Jovovich’s Nikki, a former war hero who can explain in detail how to end a life but, as she puts it, has far less experience with how to raise one. It’s a strong introduction to a character who is equal parts hardened soldier and out-of-practice mother.

The lack of emotional connection is instantly apparent between Nikki and her young daughter, Chloe (Isabel Myers). Nikki was absent from her daughter’s life during most of her upbringing due to her service, and the film does a good job making their strained relationship seem realistic. Naturally, being called Protector, there isn’t enough time for some awkwardness before Chloe sneaks off to the bar and is kidnapped.

Once the dreaded 72-hour window got mentioned, I knew exactly what I was in for. A high-speed, no-nonsense rescue thriller where a mother’s patience runs out faster than the runtime. With plenty of bullets to the head. And to the film’s credit, those hours start dropping quickly. Before long, Nikki wakes up hanging upside down, which is probably still less disorienting than most parent-teacher conferences.

From there, Protector leans fully into its action-thriller DNA. Jovovich is terrific in these sequences, delivering a relentless and brutally efficient performance as Nikki tears through the criminal underworld. She doesn’t so much “ask questions later” as skip the questions entirely. If someone gets in her way, they are essentially volunteering to become part of the body count.

The film takes a wonderfully shameless detour into First Blood territory, and I rather enjoyed it. D.B. Sweeney’s Captain Michaels is the kind of police captain who seems to have graduated top of his class in Terrible Decisions. When he decides that sending in SWAT is the obvious solution, Matthew Modine’s Colonel Lavelle steps in with a warning that feels delightfully familiar. It is such a close representation of the famous Dennehy-Crenna showdown that I almost got the feeling that Protector is winking right at us. Fortunately, it is doing so with some humor.

That said, the pacing is a bit uneven. The flashbacks and narration, while useful for filling in Nikki’s past, sometimes interrupt the momentum just as the movie is really cooking. It feels like writer Bong-Seob Mun may have patched in exposition where stronger early character development might have helped.

Still, the action scenes are where Protector really shines. The stairwell shootout is particularly stylish, lit almost entirely by muzzle flashes as Nikki climbs toward the next target. It’s a slick visual moment in a flick that knows exactly when to go full popcorn mode.

The surprise twist gives the film a bit of an added kick, even if it’s not entirely successful. Nevertheless, as a quick, violent, and at times funny action movie, Protector definitely delivers on its promises. It feels like Taken crashed headfirst into First Blood. If that sounds fun, then you have got your answer.

Protector (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/protector-2026/

In Darkness (2018) | A stylish thriller that kept me hooked, then hit me with a twist so messy it nearly drove straight through the plot. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.6/10. In Darkness is another flick collecting dust on my watchlist, so it was finally time to pull it off the shelf and see what kind of thrills this thriller has. The setup grabbed me right away. A blind pianist, Sofia (Natalie Dormer), hears what sounds like a murder in the apartment above her. From there, she gets dragged into a grimy London underworld full of secrets and lies. And would it be a mystery without a few twists to make your brain start filing workers’ comp?

The film opens with ominous piano music, and before we know it, it is apparent that we will have a far cry from a comfortable evening. This foreboding soundtrack quickly transitions into a frightening scene of choking, setting the atmosphere right from the beginning. In Darkness then takes us through Sofia’s journey back home, and while the visual elements do their fair share of building up an eerie atmosphere, the audio elements take center stage, creating a realistic environment from Sofia’s perspective. As regards the audio elements of the movie, I must say that they make up for some of the best parts of the film.

Natalie Dormer offers an impressive performance. She totally lives up to the character, and she never comes across as just some gimmick. Dormer carries the film with a calm intensity that is engrossing, even when nothing much is happening. Speaking of which, In Darkness sports some very good settings, and they add a certain flair to the entire production. This is not some bargain-bin thriller tossed together on the cheap. There’s atmosphere here, and plenty of it.

The biggest issue is that In Darkness tries very hard to be smarter than the room. The mystery absolutely keeps your attention, but it also becomes so overcomplicated that instead of sitting back and enjoying the ride, you’re mentally connecting red strings across a corkboard like a sleep-deprived detective in a conspiracy meme. By the time the big twist arrives, the film leans so hard into the “gotcha” moment that it almost feels like it tripped over itself trying to stick the landing.

Without spoiling anything, the final reveal gave me one of those “wait… hold on a second” reactions where half the previous scenes start wobbling in retrospect. It’s one of those endings that will either make you appreciate the ambition or make you stare at the credits, questioning half of what you just watched. It really depends on the kind of viewer you are. Some people love a last-second rug pull. Others might feel like the movie pulled the rug, the floorboards, and possibly the entire apartment building.

Still, In Darkness is a solid little thriller. It's got strong acting, stylish direction, and enough mystery to keep you watching. I just wish Anthony Byrne trusted the story enough without feeling the need to go full M. Night Shyamalan in the final stretch.

In Darkness (2018)

https://jackmeat.com/in-darkness-2018/

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025) | It’s funny how these guys accidentally taught me not to do drugs while also becoming part of my childhood comedy hall of fame. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. There was something wonderfully rebellious about sneaking downstairs as a kid, “borrowing” my mom’s comedy albums, and tiptoeing back to my room like I was smuggling classified government documents. For me, it was either Cheech & Chong or Steve Martin spinning on the record player, which in hindsight is an absolutely elite comedy education. Looking back, maybe it doubled as some accidental anti-drug PSA, because despite laughing myself silly at their stoner antics, I somehow managed to steer clear of pot my entire life. So yes, perhaps Cheech and Chong unknowingly kept me sober through fear of ending up lost in the desert looking for Dave.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie takes what you might expect from a standard documentary and gleefully hotboxes the formula until it turns into something far stranger and far more entertaining. Rather than delivering a straight talking-head retrospective, the film leans into the duo’s surreal comedic DNA with a mix of archival footage, fresh interviews, animated sequences, and a road-trip framework that feels perfectly on brand. Watching Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong cruising through the desert to meet “Dave” is exactly the kind of absurd setup longtime fans would hope for. Cheech’s deadpan line, “Where in the desert? The desert is a big place,” lands like vintage material.

One of the best aspects of the film is how it balances nostalgia with genuine storytelling. We get Chong’s background in his own words, followed by Marin’s upbringing, including the wonderfully random and unforgettable detail about his mother doing Bobo Brazil’s laundry. It’s these little details that give the documentary a warm, lived-in feeling beyond the comedy. The creative animated skits are a smart touch too, helping visualize stories that could have easily just been told in a talking interview format.

The archival footage is pure gold. Listening to interviews from their early days, watching their greatest performances, and learning about the formation of the chart-topping comedy-rock stars is enough to give anyone an appreciation for their legacy. It’s not that they told jokes. It’s that they lived rock and roll on their own terms, using jokes instead of guitar riffs. And Lou Adler brings everything together.

The humor is still intact, especially with present-day sequences like the gummy-fueled drive and the occasional backseat guest chiming in with perfectly timed commentary. But what gives the film weight is its willingness to explore the fracture in their partnership. Even now, they’re still debating parts of what split them apart, which gives the documentary some real emotional texture beneath the laughs.

And yes, for longtime fans, it’s impossible not to think of Cheech’s gloriously NSFW scene in From Dusk till Dawn. Still one of the funniest, most unforgettable cameos ever committed to film.

Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie is funny, nostalgic, and surprisingly heartfelt. I'd say a fitting tribute to two comedy legends who somehow made getting lost feel like an art form. Definitely one for fans of the duo and comedy lovers in general.

Cheech & Chong's Last Movie (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/cheech-chongs-last-movie-2025/

Bone Keeper (2026) | Bone Keeper feels to me like a lost drive-in creature feature where every bad decision is basically a gift for us horror fans. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. In true old-school monster movie fashion, the story of Bone Keeper begins right from the get-go. There's an unknown flying object, crashing down on Earth, and straightaway making sure that whoever sees it won't have a pleasant evening. Forget little green men. What crawls out of this meteor is something far slimier, nastier, and far more interested in turning a cave system into its personal all-you-can-eat buffet. The unlucky cavemen who happen to be nearby are basically the film’s opening appetizers, and from there, Bone Keeper wastes no time embracing its B-movie monster roots.

The film then jumps to 1976, where James Wheeler heads into the cave looking for answers and, unsurprisingly, ends up becoming another local legend. All that remains is some grainy Super 8 film showing the silhouette of the creature, which is exactly the kind of creepy setup that us horror fans can get behind. In the present day, his granddaughter Olivia, played by Sarah Alexandra Marks, returns with a group of explorers and friends to finally uncover the truth. Naturally, because this is a horror movie and common sense is apparently illegal, the group meets up for a road trip. And why not head straight for the cursed cave, and somehow still seem shocked when things go sideways.

It is precisely this nostalgia factor that makes Bone Keeper such an entertaining film. The writer/director Howard J. Ford obviously has a passion for these old monster films in which the monster is king and humans are just the walking meals, making one mistake after another. From the very first moment when they pick up this social media addicted "bitchhiker" (Sarah T. Cohen), you can almost smell the Bone Keeper drooling. More food for the monster? Why not.

The appearance of John Rhys-Davies as the older professor adds a nice bit of clout and some fun charm to the setup. His connection to Olivia’s grandfather and the eerie private film screening before the expedition gives the story a bit more bite before everyone inevitably decides that splitting up inside the cave is somehow a fantastic idea. Horror movie logic remains undefeated.

The gore effects are genuinely solid, and the creature itself is a really satisfying mix of practical effects and monster-movie slime. There’s something refreshing about seeing a creature that feels tactile and physical rather than drowning in overly polished CGI. Yeah, the CGI and/or AI that was used, especially on monster movement, was obvious, but almost purposely. And time to face it. Generative AI is here to stay. We need to get used to it, unfortunately. The cave setting is also convincingly claustrophobic, creating that nice “absolutely not” feeling every time someone wanders deeper into the darkness.

Now, I do have to laugh at some of the decision-making here. After witnessing the monster, the group somehow thinks pitching a tent basically within throwing distance of the cave entrance is a perfectly acceptable survival plan. It’s the kind of gloriously dumb horror logic that almost becomes part of the charm. The stupidity definitely does not stop there, but honestly, that’s part of the fun.

Bone Keeper (2026)

There’s also a particularly strong dream sequence that lands well, plus the obligatory final scare sequel tease that feels ripped straight from the golden age of creature features. Bone Keeper pleasantly surprised me. It’s messy, a little ridiculous, and exactly the kind of monster flick that would’ve played beautifully in a late-night drive-in double feature. Sometimes all you really need is a creepy cave, questionable choices, and a hungry monster waiting in the dark.

https://jackmeat.com/bone-keeper-2026/

Ballistic (2026) | The most ballistic thing in this movie isn’t the bullets, it’s a grieving mother’s spiral into blame and obsession. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Ballistic opens with the kind of standoff that screamed to me, “You know we’ll circle back to this in 90 minutes.” Two people, guns raised, enough unresolved frustration to power the whole film. It’s a solid hook, and I genuinely thought I was in for a lean revenge thriller with some sharp twists and maybe a body count to keep track of.

Instead, this one takes a very different route.

The film follows Nance Redfield, played by Lena Headey, a grieving mother whose son was killed in Afghanistan. In what might be one of the most grimly committed opening acts I’ve seen in a while, she literally digs into her son’s body at the funeral home to retrieve the bullet from his corpse. Nothing says “coping” quite like a funeral-home autopsy side quest. It’s a brutal scene, unsettling by design, and it immediately sets the tone for the kind of grief-fueled obsession the film wants to explore.

What follows is less action-thriller and far more slow-burn drama. If you go in expecting Headey to morph into some unstoppable one-woman vengeance machine, mowing down everyone from corrupt executives to military officials, Ballistic is going to throw cold water on those expectations fast. There’s no John Wick here. Instead, the film leans hard into emotional collapse, blame, and the desperate human need to make tragedy make sense.

Nance’s search for someone, anyone, to hold responsible becomes the real engine of the story. Her boss at the ammunition plant, the military, and even Kahlil, played with real nuance by Hamza Haq, all become targets for her unraveling mind. This is where the movie works best. Both Headey and Haq deliver strong performances that elevate material which, at times, threatens to become repetitive. Headey in particular carries the film with a believable mix of rage, grief, and exhaustion.

To be honest, I was hoping that at some point, there would have been something else going on – like some kind of mystery or even conspiracy that could have been revealed. Wasn’t there anything more to the death of her son than just the obvious part? Well, it doesn’t give in to such a temptation, and instead focuses on a much darker message. Sometimes, there simply is no hidden enemy pulling the strings.

That said, the ending pushes realism in a few different ways that would never happen. And it ends on a note that feels more dramatically convenient than believable. For a film that sticks us with this quote after the finale: "It is estimated that at least 30 percent of the ammunition that comes back in American soldiers' bodies... is American-made." That final stretch is painfully unbelievable.

Ballistic (2026)

Once I adjusted my expectations and accepted that this wasn’t an action film in disguise, Ballistic settled into being your average drama. It’s not thrilling, and it’s certainly not explosive the way the marketing and title suggest, but the acting makes the journey worthwhile. Sometimes the most ballistic thing in the room is just unresolved grief.

https://jackmeat.com/ballistic-2026/

The Whistler (2026) | A violent little spirit and great flamenco music can’t quite save a horror movie built on unbelievably dumb choices. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.4/10. I did think that The Whistler looked creepy when I added it to my slider a while back. It opens with text exposition laid over a scenic Venezuelan landscape, explaining that the Maria Lionza cult has been thriving for over 400 years. Ancient spirits, ritual practices, and a deeply rooted supernatural belief system? It’s a good way to begin a horror movie and certainly sufficient to attract any viewer who desires a horror movie centered on folklore possession.

The ritual scene at the beginning of the movie strengthens this hope, with a lady being kidnapped and utilized in a ritual to conjure The Whistler’s soul and then thrown away when she’s no longer useful. Someone gets attacked, blood is spilled, and the title card makes its dramatic entrance. At least the movie is kind enough to immediately answer the question of where the title came from.

Once the main story gets rolling, though, The Whistler starts tripping over its own characters, and Nicole is easily the biggest culprit. Diane Guerrero does what she can with the material, but Nicole is written as the kind of horror movie parent who seems completely immune to common sense. She’s grieving the loss of her daughter, which gives the film an emotional anchor, but the way she barrels through every warning is enough to make you want to yell at the screen.

When she’s told it’s too dangerous to perform a ceremony to speak with her dead child, her response is essentially, “I’ll pay whatever it costs.” Because apparently, in horror movies, ancient spirit rituals work like premium streaming subscriptions. If you’re going to dive headfirst into supernatural territory, maybe respecting the people who actually understand it would be a good place to start. Of course, someone from the cult immediately agrees to do it for the money, because bad decisions are clearly contagious here.

The Whistler itself is a pretty violent little menace when it actually gets going. There are some satisfyingly brutal moments, including a nasty disembowelment that leaves behind plenty of blood. The issue is that there just isn’t enough of that energy spread throughout the film. Director Diego Velasco clearly knows how to make a movie look good, and there are genuinely creepy moments sprinkled in, but the story never finds enough of an identity to separate itself from the pile of other possession flicks out there.

It is with the pacing that the film truly fails. It is a slow burn, one that sadly does not pay off its efforts until the last twenty minutes. And even then, all that happens is that the film has discovered how to pump life into itself. Nicole’s late-game leap into becoming some sort of instant occult expert is unintentionally hilarious, especially when she starts performing parts of a ritual she never even saw. Grief now comes with a crash course in Spanish and advanced demonology.

The flamenco music throughout was a nice touch, adding atmosphere and flavor to an otherwise familiar horror package. But then the movie tops it all off with a tidy Hollywood ending and the classic sequel tease, just in case this spirit wasn’t done whistling yet.

The Whistler (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/the-whistler-2026/

undertone (2026) | Starts with a creepy lullaby and somehow ends with me being more sleepy than scared. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. Undertone opens with a creepy lullaby, and for a moment, I genuinely thought, okay, here we go, this might actually get under my skin. Creepy lullabies are basically horror’s version of a cheat code. Unfortunately, after that strong opening note, the film settles into a much slower rhythm that never quite builds into the nightmare I had hoped for.

The setup is solid on paper. Evy (Nina Kiri), host of an all-things-creepy podcast, moves into her dying mother’s house to become her primary caregiver. Already, that’s a loaded, emotionally rich horror premise. Add in ten mysterious audio recordings from a pregnant couple dealing with paranormal noises, and you’ve got something that should be absolutely dripping with dread. Instead, Undertone feels like it keeps circling the runway without ever landing.

The film relies quite heavily on Evy, and Nina Kiri gives it her best effort. She features in nearly every scene where something important happens, as she listens to unusual noises and unravels the mystery around her. The problem is that the script gives her a lot of moments that are unintentionally funny for the wrong reasons. There’s only so many times you can watch someone pause mid-listening session, slowly stare into the middle distance like they just heard the ghost whisper “boo,” and expect it to still register as scary. After a while, it starts feeling less like psychological horror and more like your earbuds glitching out.

The podcast framing also had me chuckling, and not always in the intended way. Hearing Evy and her unseen co-host Justin (Adam DiMarco) do the whole “blah blah, let’s get back into character” routine, only to continue sounding exactly the same, had me wondering if the real horror was the production meeting. It undercuts the immersion almost every time the film uses the audio format as a source of tension.

That said, the sound design is easily the film’s MVP. If anything in Undertone works, it’s the audio atmosphere. The persistent creaks, distant noises, and layered recordings do a lot of the work. They try desperately to scare us when not much is actually happening. The cinematography also deserves credit, making strong use of the confined setting. The house feels appropriately boxed in, and director Ian Tuason clearly understands how to use space and restraint. There’s genuine filmmaking talent here, even if the script keeps putting it in a headlock.

My biggest issue is that the film mistakes slow pacing for suspense. Half the tension-building scenes rely on the classic horror trope of someone inching toward a flickering light like they’ve never paid an electricity bill before. I’m sorry, but if a light is flickering in my house, I’m not slow-walking toward it like it’s the final boss. I’m marching straight over to jiggle the bulb and mutter about the wiring.

undertone (2026)

I really wanted to like Undertone, especially with such a clever “scariest movie ever heard” concept playing off its podcast angle. But in the end, it left me feeling more bored rather than creeped out. The actors are perfectly fine, the direction shows promise, but the story and script needed far more bite. Instead of dread, I mostly felt like I was waiting for something, ANYTHING, to finally happen.

https://jackmeat.com/undertone-2026/

Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023) | A visual masterpiece with enough Easter eggs to make comic fans pause every frame like they’re studying game tape. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.9/10. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse somehow takes everything the first movie did brilliantly and says, “Cool, but what if we turned the dial so hard it snapped off?” The animation here is flat-out insane. Already, I was impressed by the first movie, but what this sequel does is somehow take it up a notch, making the first one seem like nothing compared to it. Every shot would seem like it belongs in an art gallery if there were any that display comics having a midlife crisis.

The sheer visual creativity on display is ridiculous in the best way possible. Every universe has its own style, texture, and personality, making the multiverse actually feel different instead of just being the same city with a different filter slapped over it. This movie doesn’t just push the boundaries of animation. It politely waves at the boundaries and then launches itself through them headfirst.

The action sequences aren’t much tamer either. Here again is Miles Morales, showing off his ability to swing through places that nobody has any business getting into and doing so in style. The action sequences are frenetic, inventive, and exciting to watch, each Spider-Man bringing his or her own sense of flair and personality to the action.

I don’t usually give enough credit to voice performances. That’s 100% on me and not the movie, but Shameik Moore and Hailee Steinfeld genuinely deserve it here. Miles and Gwen’s chemistry feels so natural that their scenes often hit harder than the action itself. There’s a believable touch to their conversations that keeps the movie grounded even while it’s throwing six hundred Spider-People at the screen.

And speaking of Spider-People, this film absolutely has fun with that concept. The endless parade of alternate versions is not only hilarious but also a goldmine for fan service. The Lego Spider-Man bit got a genuine laugh out of me. How unexpected and so perfectly absurd was that? The Easter eggs are everywhere, too. Daring us, comic fans, to pause every frame and start pointing at the screen like conspiracy theorists.

That said, for a movie sitting at 140 minutes, I definitely felt the runtime. For something I’d call an exceptional action movie, you know, the kind that earns an 8 or higher, those two-plus hours should disappear. Here, they didn’t. The pacing occasionally drifts into music-video territory, which looks amazing but sometimes slows the actual story momentum. And then there’s that ending. Yes, it’s an effective cliffhanger, but it also felt like the movie hit the brakes right as it was flooring it.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Still, Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse is wildly entertaining, visually groundbreaking, and more than worthy of the hype - even if IMDb’s “greatest movie ever made” crowd might need to relax a little. Either way, I’ll absolutely be first in line for part three of this animated trilogy.

https://jackmeat.com/spider-man-across-the-spider-verse-2023/

Tarot Curse (2025) | The kills were fun, but the story had less depth than a fortune cookie and about the same level of explanation. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.7/10. I have no problem with horror films that ask me to set aside my skepticism. Tarot Curse seems to invite me to leave mine parked beside the tour bus even before the title sequence finishes.

The film kicks off on a surprisingly fun note, with some poor guy being stalked by an unseen presence before meeting a quick and nasty end. There’s a stab, some solid tension, and then a wonderfully grim practical effect involving a bowling ball that immediately lets you know what kind of movie this wants to be. It’s bloody, creative, and just campy enough to get a smile out of horror fans. If nothing else, the opening promises a goofy good time.

Then we hit the classic horror road trip setup: a group of students heading to New Orleans for Tara’s (Lauren Chanel) birthday. Naturally, they all seem to barely tolerate one another, which is always the cinematic signal that half the cast exists solely to be fed into the meat grinder. Apparently, they’re high school kids, though they seem to think they are well into their 20s. In true genre fashion, they follow some random skull-faced stranger because that apparently screams “safe and fun adventure.” Horror characters continue to prove that basic survival instincts are optional, and that is why we love it.

Once the group ends up at the old blind tarot card reader’s place, you can already hear the death clock start ticking. She performs some mysterious ritual, blows dust in their faces like she’s seasoning a roast, and sends them home with conveniently fuzzy memories of the weekend. Not that they seem to care.

Back at school, things quickly get hairy. And yes, that pun is absolutely deserved considering the first major kill. Two of them die almost immediately, and the remaining survivors somehow still refuse to connect the dots. At a certain point, when your friends are being gruesomely picked off in ways that match cursed tarot readings, maybe it’s time to stop being the “I don’t believe in this stuff” character and start being the “let’s leave town immediately” character.

This is where Tarot Curse really struggles. The premise actually has potential, but the script never does enough with it. The mythology behind the tarot woman, the curse, and the “why” behind any of this is left so thin it feels unfinished rather than mysterious. Sometimes ambiguity works in horror. Here, it just comes off as lazy writing.

The acting doesn’t help much either. It's not quite enough to be laughably bad, but it's utterly predictable and one-dimensional, and the characters are lacking any real personality. The one character who may be worth pulling for would have to be Quinn (Evelyn Kim), simply because she's the only one who appears to be trying to stay alive.

That said, there is still plenty of good direction from Jason Winn, and the practical gore effects are clearly why we are here. Unfortunately, there must be more to a movie than just splatter effects. Well, not a hell of a lot more, but give us something. Mix in an absolutely abysmal ending that fizzles out, and Tarot Curse ends up as a forgettable horror flick that had the cards stacked against it from the start.

Tarot Curse (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/tarot-curse-2025/

Portal in the Pines (2025) | Imagine Stranger Things crashed into a satanic B-movie and forgot how to end itself. That's my take on this mess. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.1/10. I am not entirely sure if they were being serious or not with this indie flick. Portal in the Pines is that kind of film where you just know it started with a whiteboard, several coffees, and some person shouting, “How about we just add a little bit more?” C'mon, guys, pick a lane.

The film opens in 1985 at a military base where some top-secret testing goes spectacularly wrong. Not the cool, calculated “this was part of the plan” kind of wrong either. More of the “whoops, we may have just ripped a hole in reality” kind. It’s a fun setup, helped by the local shock jock intro that gives the whole thing a slightly campy, late-night paranormal radio vibe. Right away, Portal in the Pines promises aliens, government secrets, satanic rituals, and possibly hell itself. Ambitious? Absolutely. Focused? Not even a little.

Once we jump to the present, the story follows rural fireman Jessie, played by Garrett Kruithof, who stumbles into the kind of situation most firefighters probably aren’t trained for - a secret particle collider opening a portal to hell in the woods. Somewhere between Stranger Things, a late-night Syfy Channel entry, and a supernatural conspiracy podcast, the movie keeps tossing new ideas at the wall to see what sticks. Aliens? Sure. Other dimensions? Why not. Spiritual warfare? Toss it in. At times, it genuinely feels like writer-director Eric Gibson had five different movie pitches and decided the best solution was to combine all of them into one blender.

All things considered, Portal in the Pines stands out as an impressive work for its budget. There are good performances throughout the film, and even when the story becomes a bit confusing in terms of “what movie are we watching,” it remains engaging enough to keep watching. Kruithof does a decent job juggling the madness, which is no small task when the film keeps changing lanes every ten minutes.

Ashton Leigh’s Ashley, Jessie’s ex-wife, is written to be aggressively frustrating, and mission accomplished there. She’s the kind of character who makes you want to yell at the screen, so credit where it’s due. On the brighter side, Jamie Kennedy as Herby brings some much-needed comic relief and actually fits surprisingly well into all the alien encounter nonsense. His scenes are easily among the most entertaining in the film. Sierra DeRose’s Evelyn also leaves a good impression, especially given her connection to the opening disaster, though it definitely feels like the movie could have used more of her.

The effects are fair for the budget and do enough to sell the more bizarre moments. But where Portal in the Pines really stumbles is the finale. After spending so much time building toward stopping the satanists from opening the gates of hell, the final confrontation is so silly it borders on parody. Then, just when you expect some kind of payoff, the ending takes the cheapest and laziest possible exit route.

Portal in the Pines (2025)

Still, despite being all over the place, Portal in the Pines is semi-watchable in that oddly entertaining “I can’t believe they went there” kind of way. It’s messy and overloaded with ridiculous tropes, but at least it never dies of boredom.

https://jackmeat.com/portal-in-the-pines-2025/

The Fuzzies (2025) | More “what did I just watch?” than “I’m terrified,” but the creativity alone makes it weirdly worth pressing play. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. For those who might feel their early childhood experiences watching television were too wholesome, allow The Fuzzies to destroy any such notion. One nightmarish puppet at a time.

The film opens in a way that immediately tells me we're not in Kansas anymore - an interview with Shirley (Gordy Cassel) and her puppet Sunny, casually explaining they never set out to change the world. It’s quirky and just unsettling enough to make you question whether you should be laughing or preparing for another puppet nightmare. Things only get weirder from there.

After Shirley’s death, Mick (Dustin Vaught) and Rose (Rocío de la Grana) inherit her eerie summer cabin, because nothing good in horror history has ever started with “we inherited a creepy house.” The catch? They have to find Sunny, who is apparently just hanging out there. Like a freeloading felt demon.

Throw in Mary (Baylee Toney), who’s dating Rose (a detail the film finally remembers to acknowledge. Thanks for that), and you’ve got a small but solid trio of characters. They’re memorable enough, even if the performances land more in the “this works” category than “award season incoming.”

The real star here, though, is the feel. Exploring Shirley’s house feels like walking through a strange dream curated by someone who definitely owned cursed antiques. But what really tips you off that something bad is going to happen soon is stumbling upon those tapes, putting one of them into a VCR that also doubles as a workout machine. Sure enough, Shirley appears on tape, greeting them directly. Nothing says “welcome back” like prerecorded paranormal surveillance.

Where The Fuzzies shines is in its creativity. The stop-motion creatures and puppet designs are genuinely fun - grotesque, surreal, and working on “what if your childhood imagination turned against you?” These aren’t your standard real-looking doll horror tricks like Chucky. Instead, everything feels intentionally absurd, like a nightmare that forgot the rules halfway through and just kept going.

Having said all that, there is a point when you have to lower your expectations, especially if you want straight horror. There is a well-crafted bathroom scene at the beginning of the film, which looks as though it could mark the beginning of an even scarier journey, but writer/director Josh Funk eases off the gas not long after. The scares stay pretty mild, and the film leans more into oddball charm than outright terror.

In the end, The Fuzzies is less about making you scream and more about making you go, “what the hell did I just watch?” That ends up being part of its appeal. It’s a fun indie with imagination to spare, even if it pulls its punches when things could’ve gotten much darker.

The Fuzzies (2025)

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys bizarre puppet horror with a side of childhood memory gone wrong, this one might hit the sweet spot. Just don’t expect it to bite very hard, even if its puppets look like they really, really want to.

https://jackmeat.com/the-fuzzies-2025/

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice (2026) | It’s like a crime movie collided with a time machine and nobody bothered to read the instructions first. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.5/10. If you walk into Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice expecting a straightforward crime caper, you’re already in the wrong timeline. Literally. BenDavid Grabinski wastes no time drawing us in, opening with Ben Schwartz’s Symon casually singing Oliver and Company while tinkering away, only for a glowing doorway (never a good sign) to interrupt the vibe and immediately escalate things to gunfire. It’s the movie equivalent of “this meeting could’ve been an email,” except the email is a bullet.

From there, the film structures itself in what feel like chaotic “chapters,” kicking off with The Party. And any party hosted by Keith David as Sosa is automatically operating at a different level of cool. But the real engine of the movie is the buddy dynamic between Vince Vaughn’s Nick and James Marsden’s Mike. What starts as a simple “chloroform this guy” job (as one does) quickly spirals into a plot that refuses to sit still, layering in time travel, shifting loyalties, and enough double-takes to make you question whether you missed something. Or whether the movie is just messing with you on purpose.

My guess? It probably is.

Vince Vaughn is having an absolute blast here, especially juggling multiple versions of Nick without missing a beat. He leans into his fast-talking charm but adds just enough variation to keep each version distinct. Marsden, on the other hand, plays the audience surrogate. The guy who is painfully aware that none of this makes sense and isn’t afraid to say it. Watching him try to process time travel logic in real time is half the comedy. His chemistry with Eiza González just works despite the madness, even when the script is gleefully pulling the rug out from under them.

And you often see me mention Dolph Lundgren. Here he plays The Barron, who shows up as if he strolled in from a completely different (and much more serious) movie, which somehow makes him even funnier. The film thrives on these tonal clashes. Dark humor, sudden violence, and absurdity all collide in ways that shouldn’t work, but absolutely do.

By the time you hit the After After Party, yes, that’s a real thing, and eventually the After After After Party (they really commit to the bit), the movie is fully hammering its own ridiculousness. There are running jokes (including an unexpected obsession with Gilmore Girls references) that somehow never overstay their welcome, and the final stretch delivers a surprisingly long, energetic action sequence that feels like a reward for keeping up.

Technically, the film keeps things tight. The directorial vision from Grabinski is assured and stylish but never intrusive, and the cinematography by Larry Fong is just fancy enough to make the picture stand out. The editing deserves kudos as well. Because with a story like this, one wrong cut and the whole thing collapses into nonsense. Instead, it (mostly) holds together, even when it’s intentionally trying not to.

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice crackles with wit, fun energy, and genuinely clever time-travel twists. It’s messy in a “we meant to do that” kind of way, powered by a cast that fully commits to the insanity. And yes, it even sneaks in a proper sequel tease. Surprised? In this universe, why stop at one timeline when you can break a few more?

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/mike-nick-nick-alice-2026/

Infiltrate (2026) | Paper-thin plot, but hey, at least she beats people up convincingly enough to distract you from thinking too hard. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. Infiltrate comes in hot, screaming action, moral conflict, and high-stakes espionage…and then immediately trips over its own shoelaces in the opening scene. We’re thrown into a flashback of Agent Lily Chen (Orphée Ladouceur-Nguyen) being interrogated, only for her to ditch the wedding ring and stroll straight into a drug deal like she’s grabbing groceries. No backup, no weapon, no plan. Bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off.

Spoiler: it doesn’t. At least not logically.

The first thought that hits is how nobody in that room clocks her as a cop. Not one person. Either Lily Chen is the greatest undercover agent of all time, or these criminals collectively share one brain cell. Probably the latter. Still, the scene does give us a taste of what the movie actually does well. Action. When things inevitably go sideways, Chen fights her way out with some impressively brutal choreography. That leg shot? Yeah…you’ll feel that one.

From there, Infiltrate settles into its main groove - Chen being blackmailed into assassinating targets to save her kidnapped husband. It’s a setup we’ve seen countless times, and the film doesn’t exactly reinvent the wheel. It barely rotates it. The plot is paper-thin, held together by a series of “just go with it” moments and a mysterious voice feeding her targets like it’s a violent podcast subscription.

What keeps things watchable is Ladouceur-Nguyen herself. She commits hard to the physicality of the role, and the fight scenes are where the movie actually wakes up. A notable scene is the fight sequence between the couple who have lost their minds, as if they wandered in from some erotic nightclub. It’s messy, plenty violent, and very entertaining to watch.

And yes. Finally, someone figured it out. The high heels come off and become weapons. It took long enough for action cinema to embrace that idea, but here we are, and it works.

The violence is crunchy in all the right ways. Bones snap, blood sprays, and hits feel like they hurt. If you’re here for Lily Chen wrecking people in increasingly creative ways, you’ll have a good time. If you’re here for story…maybe lower those expectations significantly.

Because when the film tries to elevate itself with a big twist, it stumbles again. The reveal leans into the now very tired “AI was behind it all” angle, and it feels more like a last-minute patch than a well-earned payoff. It doesn’t ruin the movie. It just doesn’t add anything meaningful either.

And then, just when you think it’s over, Infiltrate has the audacity to crack the door open for a sequel. Bold move for a film that barely justifies its own existence.

There is something here. Ladouceur-Nguyen proves she can absolutely carry an action film, and honestly, she deserves better material. Give her a tighter script, a smarter plan (please), and maybe a villain with more than basic programming, and you could have something genuinely great.

Infiltrate (2026)

As it stands, Infiltrate is a messy but mildly entertaining beat-‘em-up. Come for the fights, stay despite the plot, and don't overthink the rest of it.

https://jackmeat.com/infiltrate-2026/

The Yeti (2026) | Decent-looking creature, but the movie cuts away so often you’ll start wondering if the Yeti is camera-shy. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.4/10. I was quite leery when I saw this title, and the poster didn't do it any favors. But my tagline says it all, so I hit play. The Yeti wastes absolutely no time reminding us that being indoors is a great life choice. We kick things off in 1947 Alaska with a group of guys playing cards, one random woman whose job description seems to be “stand there,” and, boom - someone gets yanked through a roof like the cabin just unsubscribed from having a ceiling. Blood rains down, screaming ensues, and just like that, the movie promises something wild.

Then it immediately gets lost. Literally and narratively.

We jump to a press conference with Merriell Jr. (Eric Nelsen), who promises to rescue his father, and introduces us to his elite team to do so. Then we cut to Ellie (Brittany Allen) giving a lecture before being recruited into said rescue mission to find her missing father. This should feel important. Instead, the film treats it like a casual side note you’re expected to remember 90 minutes later when it suddenly matters. The early structure is all over the place. Jumping timelines, dropping characters, and holding back key motivations like it’s guarding state secrets.

Once the expedition heads into the wilderness, the movie actually makes a few smart moves. For a while, The Yeti keeps its creature mostly hidden. Growls, quick cuts, blurry glimpses - the classic “we don’t have the budget, so let’s build suspense” approach. I'd say it works.

When the Yeti finally shows up in full, it’s surprisingly decent. Practical, furry, and not an obvious CGI disaster. You almost want to applaud it. But then the movie remembers it’s allergic to showing anything cool. The creature attacks? Cut away. Someone dies? Cut away. Need proof something happened? Don’t worry, the Yeti will hold up a random limb afterward like a trophy. Every. Single. Time.

For a monster movie, it’s impressively committed to not showing the monster doing monster things.

The human side doesn’t help much either. Most of the cast falls into “generic expedition member #3” territory, but when the missing fathers, Corbin Bernsen and William Sadler, finally appear, they bring some much-needed presence. No surprise. They’re professionals dropped into a movie that mostly forgot to write characters. However, Leander Coates (Linc Hand) did have an interesting wrinkle to him.

And then there’s the logic. There is a lack of it. By the time we reach the finale, the last survivor is desperately trying to escape…by dragging a rowboat to the water. No oars. Just vibes. Maybe the Yeti wasn’t the biggest threat after all. Poor planning clearly has a higher body count.

What’s frustrating is that The Yeti had the bones of a fun, campy throwback creature feature. Instead, it plays everything weirdly serious, as if it’s aiming for prestige horror while actively avoiding the fun parts. Less restraint and more ridiculousness might’ve actually saved it.

The Yeti (2026)

As it stands, The Yeti is a decent-looking monster trapped in a movie that refuses to let it shine. Equal parts missed opportunity and accidental comedy, with a rowboat finale that actually made me LOL.

https://jackmeat.com/the-yeti-2026/

Murdercise (2023) | Murdercise is EXACTLY what you would expect so knowing that, you may get a few laughs out of it #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. Murdercise came in with that exact kind of reputation that made me suspicious. People online (Twitter) swear it’s “not as bad as it sounds,” which usually means it absolutely is. Just in a way you might weirdly enjoy. And to its credit, the movie wastes zero time letting you know what kind of flick you’re in for. Within minutes, it’s throwing out gratuitous nudity like it’s getting paid per frame, basically screaming, “Yep, we’re doing 80s slasher, cue the tropes.”

Right away, the acting is…something else. We’re talking next-level awkward, stiff, borderline “did they just pull these people off the street?” bad. But here’s the twist. It feels intentional. Like, too bad to be accidental. At a certain point, you start questioning reality a bit. Are they terrible actors, or are they secretly geniuses committing to the bit? Either way, it weirdly works in the movie’s favor. You’re laughing with it. Or at it. Or both at the same time.

But here’s the thing, Murdercise isn’t just blindly copying that era. It’s very clearly taking the piss out of it. Writer/director Paul Ragsdale leans so hard into the clichés that it loops back around into satire. The constant fixation on "tits" isn’t subtle (at all), but that’s part of the joke. It’s less “we’re exploiting this” and more “remember when every horror movie did this for no reason?” The repeated jabs at “Reagan’s America” just pile onto that absurdity in the best way.

The story follows Phoebe, played by Kansas Bowling, a fitness fanatic who stumbles her way from background nobody to…well, something much more unhinged. Her journey takes a wild turn once she links up with Isabella (Nina Lanee Kent), a chaotic mafia princess type, and from there, the movie just spirals into a series of bizarre, often ridiculous murder setups. It should be where the film really shines - but here’s the catch. The kills are surprisingly underwhelming. For a movie that screams “over-the-top slasher,” the lack of memorable gore is a major letdown.

Still, Murdercise knows exactly what it is. It’s loud, shameless, and ridiculously self-aware. It proudly wears its campiness like a badge of honor and dares you not to have at least a little fun with it. Is it good? Not really. Does it fully deliver on the slasher side of things? Also no. But is it strangely entertaining if you’re in the right mood and willing to embrace the nonsense? Absolutely.

Just don’t expect a hidden gem. You’re signing up for a sweaty, neon-soaked experience that occasionally forgets it’s supposed to be a horror movie. And somehow…that’s part of the charm.

Murdercise (2023)

https://jackmeat.com/murdercise-2023/