This horror/comedy is perfect for when you want to question your life choices and laugh while doing it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.0/10. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Napoleon Dynamite tried to remake Blade with a budget that couldn’t cover a decent pizza party, then congratulations, your oddly specific dream exists and it’s called Hawk And Rev: Vampire Slayers.

Philip "HAWK" Hawkins (Ryan Barton-Grimley) is a man on a mission, fueled by sheer paranoia and a headband that looks like it survived the '80s and lost the will to live. After getting kicked out of the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a two-by-four (because subtlety is for cowards), Hawk ends up as a night security guard in a warehouse so deserted it makes the office in Severance look overpopulated. Just when he’s about to die of boredom, surprise—vampires! Because why not?

Nobody believes Hawk, which is understandable because he has the energy of a conspiracy theorist who thinks pigeons are government drones. So, he teams up with Rev (Ari Schneider), a vegan-pacifist groundskeeper whose main skill is existing in a perpetual state of confusion. Together, they form the kind of dynamic duo that makes you question how humanity has survived this long.

The humor is... well, it exists. Some jokes land like a well-timed punchline, others hit the ground with all the grace of a walrus on roller skates. The “movie lines” bit feels like that one friend who doesn’t know when to let a joke die peacefully. The film clearly takes inspiration from the South Park goths vs. vampires episode, except with less budget and somehow less dignity.

Visually, it’s a blood-splattered mess—literally. There’s fun to be had with the practical effects, even if the digital blood looks like it was added in Microsoft Paint. The budget constraints are as obvious as Hawk’s desperate need for a hobby, but there’s a certain charm in its schlocky, DIY vibe.

Having recently been entertained by Ryan Barton-Grimley’s Listen Carefully, I decided to revisit this 2020 creation. It’s got the same slightly entertaining, “I can’t believe I’m still watching this” energy. Is it good? No. Is it bad? Yes. Did I laugh anyway? Unfortunately, yes.

Perfect for when you want to question your life choices and laugh while doing it.

Amazon along with several other streamers have this one.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/hawk-and-rev-vampire-slayers-2020

This is a flick with solid intentions and some genuinely disturbing imagery, even if the execution now feels a little campy. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. I remember watching John Frankenheimer’s eco-horror film that takes the dangers of pollution and cranks them up to monstrous proportions when I was about 6 or 7 years old. While the creature effects might look dated by today’s standards, the film still holds up surprisingly well, particularly in its unsettling depictions of mutation. The grotesque results of chemical contamination are convincingly horrifying, lending a sense of realism to the terror. It was ahead of its time in addressing environmental concerns, tackling corporate negligence and its impact on nature long before it became a mainstream topic. The story follows an EPA investigator (Rob Foxworth) and his wife Maggie (Talia Shire) as they team up with a group of Native Americans to uncover the truth behind a series of bizarre deaths in the Maine wilderness. What they find is a nightmarish, rage-fueled mutant monstrosity courtesy of a lumber mill's toxic waste, that relentlessly stalks them through the forest. The scares are fairly straightforward: a giant mutated creature picking off its victims one by one, but the eerie atmosphere and effective tension-building still make it an engaging watch. A definite highlight (and a bit of an unintentional laugh) is the now-infamous sleeping bag kill, which predates the legendary scene from Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood by nearly a decade. One has to wonder if that later film drew inspiration from this moment, as both involve a person getting absolutely wrecked while trapped in a sleeping bag. While Prophecy might not be nightmare fuel for today’s horror fans, I can see how this would have been terrifying as a kid. A massive, deformed, and enraged beast, born from toxic waste and wreaking havoc in the Maine wilderness, is an effective setup for an eco-horror creature feature. It’s a film with solid intentions and some genuinely disturbing imagery, even if the execution now feels a little campy. For fans of classic monster horror with a message, it’s still worth checking out.

There are a surprising amount of streaming choices for this including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/prophecy-1979

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera | A decent follow-up that looks great on screen—just temper your expectations, and you’ll likely have a good time. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.3/10. Big Nick (Gerard Butler) is back, and this time he’s hunting across Europe, zeroing in on Donnie (O'Shea Jackson Jr.), who's deep in the murky waters of diamond thieves and the infamous Panther mafia. Their target? The world’s largest diamond exchange. If you enjoyed the gritty, tense energy of the first Den of Thieves, you’ll likely appreciate this sequel for its thrilling heist sequences and action-packed moments. Butler returns as Nicholas "Big Nick" O'Brien, bringing the same raw, believable intensity that made his character compelling the first time around. He’s almost too convincing, which definitely works in the film’s favor. The scenery is exceptional—Europe’s backdrop adds a sleek, high-stakes vibe to the cat-and-mouse chase. The cinematography while zipping through the streets or brawling at a party is spot on. You’ll need to pay attention, though, because just like before, everyone seems like a bad guy… probably because they kind of are. That said, Pantera trades the sharp, focused narrative of its predecessor for something grander, but not necessarily better. The plot feels less cohesive, with convenience factors sprinkled throughout—oddly empty city streets, suspiciously low guard presence, and plot armor that makes some situations feel a bit too easy. It’s fun, but you’ll notice the gaps if you’re looking for realism. While it’s marketed as a sequel, it doesn’t fully carry the weight of the first film beyond reusing familiar characters. It feels more like a spin-off in spirit. Still, the heist itself is engaging, and the action delivers enough to keep you entertained. A decent follow-up that looks great on screen—just temper your expectations, and you’ll likely have a good time.

Amazon along with several streamers have this one for rent.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/den-of-thieves-2-pantera-2025

An interesting idea of having your Cam show hijacked by a double is hindered by poor choices and an unsatisfying conclusion. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4,9/10. I mean, the film presents an intriguing premise. A young camgirl discovers she's been inexplicably replaced on her site by an exact replica of herself. This clever concept initially hooks you with the potential for a tense psychological thriller, blending identity theft with the eerie world of online personas. Unfortunately, while the setup is strong, the execution falters due to baffling character decisions and a frustrating lack of narrative payoff. Alice (Madeline Brewer) has this inability to take simple, logical actions—like clearly explaining her situation to people who could help—dragging the film down significantly. Watching her stumble through increasingly dumb decisions feels less like a reflection of realistic panic and more like lazy writing designed to stretch out the runtime. Her acting was adequate enough but the writing for her character was painful. Instead of building genuine tension, it often left me distracted by her inexplicable choices, making it hard to stay invested. Worse still, the film concludes without offering any real answers. There's no explanation of what happened, how it was possible, or how it affected others in similar situations. It feels like the filmmakers threw up their hands and said, "Who cares? They won't notice." This dismissive approach is disappointing, especially when a little effort could've provided a satisfying resolution. Even an outlandish theory would've been better than leaving us with nothing. Filmmakers, such as Daniel Goldhaber who wrote and directed this, should respect their audience's intelligence, we do remember characters and plot threads from earlier in the film. In the end, Cam squanders its promising premise with poor character choices and an unsatisfying conclusion. It's a film that teases depth and at times succeeds but ultimately lets you down in the end.

Only streaming choice for this one, Netflix

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/cam-2018

Another sloppy entry in the ever-growing pile of forgettable slashers highlighting unintentional comedy. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.8/10. Another flick attempts to ride the coattails of the recent surge in popularity for twisted fairytale horror flix, but unfortunately, it squeals more than it slashes. Billed as a brutal B-budget slasher, it quickly unravels into a mess of poor choices, bad editing, and technical blunders that even the most forgiving horror fans might struggle to overlook. The plot is horror 101: On Kate's 21st birthday camping trip, she and her friends stumble into the path of Piglet, a monstrous human wearing a pig mask. Despite the synopsis hinting at a human-pig hybrid, the film clearly shows him finding and donning a rubber mask, which feels like a missed opportunity to lean into actual body horror. After the first (and arguably only impactful) kill, the group uncovers Piglet's origins—which adds little intrigue—and Kate (Alina Desmond) must confront her murky past to survive. Let's talk about the acting. Atrocious is putting it kindly. The performances are so stiff and unnatural they make you wonder if the cast met each other for the first time on set. The dialogue delivery is either mumbled under overpowering "duh-dum" background noises or blasted at an ear-piercing volume when the soundtrack takes a break. Sound issues like these aren't budget-related—they're just sloppy post-production. The kills, a slasher's bread and butter, are painfully uninspired. There's a disappointing lack of creativity and brutality. Early practical effects show some promise with decent blood work, but the moment CGI splatter enters the frame, it nosedives into laughable territory. The digital blood looks cheap, and not in a charming, grindhouse way—just bad. We also get the obligatory cannibal family subplot, because why not? It's like the filmmakers threw in every trope hoping something would stick. As for realism, if we're supposed to believe a car that runs out of gas mid-drive comes to a screeching halt… well, maybe spend five minutes Googling how cars work. The finale is the cherry on this poorly baked cake—clumsy, disjointed, and edited with all the finesse of a dull cleaver. It feels like the movie didn’t know what it wanted to be. I can't tell if this was originally a different project repurposed to cash in on the Blood and Honey craze or just a coincidental disaster. Piglet's design is eerily similar to the one from that series, but there's no direct connection, and any attempt at shared lore would be nonsensical at best. Despite all this, I've still seen worse. Piglet is a mess, that is just plain and simple. It’s the kind of film that might find a niche audience who appreciate its flaws as unintentional comedy. For everyone else, it's just another sloppy entry in the ever-growing pile of forgettable slashers.

Justwatch doesn't have any streamers for this flick yet.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/piglet-2025

If you’re in the mood for non-stop action with a bit of humor, this one delivers some mindless, popcorn-munching fun. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. This one delivers exactly what you’d expect from an over-the-top action flick: brutal fight scenes, high-energy stunts, and a solid cast of killers ready to throw down. Directed by J.J. Perry, this film follows Joe Flood (Dave Bautista), a top-tier hitman who, after receiving a terminal diagnosis, decides to put out a hit on himself. Of course, things don’t go as planned, and when his new girlfriend Maize (Sofia Boutella) is dragged into the chaos, Flood finds himself battling an army of elite assassins—including some he hired himself. The story has been used before so don't expect any revelations to be introduced from it. One of the film’s biggest strengths is its action-packed cast. Drew McIntyre and Scott Adkins bring their signature fight choreography and intensity, making for some standout brawls, while Terry Crews adds his usual blend of brute force and comedic timing. The action sequences are well-executed, keeping the adrenaline pumping throughout. A fun touch was the use of altered subtitles for McIntyre and Adkins, censoring their English dialogue in a clever way to dodge profanity while still keeping their personalities intact. While The Killer’s Game doesn’t bring much depth or originality to the genre, it succeeds as a mindless, popcorn-munching action ride. It doesn’t demand much thought—just sit back, enjoy the relentless fight scenes, and appreciate the sheer entertainment value of seeing a cast of deadly assassins go to war. If you’re in the mood for non-stop action with a bit of humor, this one delivers.

Amazon along with a handful of other streamers have this one.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/the-killer-s-game-2024

Scalper (2023) Part 2 in the Night Caller saga is aptly named if you enjoy grimy, low-budget slashers with a bit of a supernatural twist. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. This flick kicks off with a sleazy yet gripping opening sequence that sets the tone for the grisly events to come. While it initially feels like a standard slasher, the film surprises with a level of creativity that elevates it beyond expectations. Unbeknownst to me at first, this is actually a follow-up to Night Caller, and knowing that makes Clementine Carter’s (Susan Priver) character arc feel more fleshed out this time around. Now fully embracing her psychic abilities, she must use her second sight to stay ahead of a masked killer known as "The Scalper," whose brutal murders raise questions about whether he’s a copycat, a resurrected madman, or something even worse. Having Jake Busey playing a detective searching for our killer was a nice choice since I hadn't seen him in quite some time and have always been a fan. The film delivers on the horror front with several standout sequences. The early confrontation with a homeless man is unsettling, setting a strong precedent for the tension that follows. One of the best-executed scenes involves a friend being stalked at home, with the terror unfolding live on a radio show—a particularly clever touch that adds suspense. Bai Ling's character Jade was also better utilized in this sequel adding her signature flair to the hunt. The attack on Clementine’s father and the climactic bloodbath at the church further ramp up the intensity, and the kills throughout are savagely brutal, leaning into practical effects that make each slaying feel raw and impactful. Unfortunately, the film stumbles in its finale. The big reveal is poorly handled, feeling clumsy and rushed, as if the filmmakers weren’t entirely sure how to stick the landing. The awkward editing makes it seem like there are multiple killers, yet the resolution is over in a blink, denying us a truly satisfying showdown. Despite the weak ending, Scalper delivers a few violent thrills and a handful of memorable sequences that make it worth the watch, especially for those who enjoy grimy, low-budget slashers with a bit of a supernatural twist.

Only a limited number of streamers have this one including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/scalper-2023