Something blows this Christmas and it is this poor excuse for a horror flick set in, you guessed it, a cabin in the woods. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.6/10. This flick sets itself up as a classic “cabin in the woods” horror tale but quickly devolves into a cacophony of bickering, shaky camera work, and unconvincing supernatural menace. What could have been an eerie holiday horror instead feels like a slapped-together project with a deer skull as its creative centerpiece—and not much else. The premise of young friends trapped in a remote mountain cabin by a mysterious creature always has potential, but the execution fails at nearly every turn. The group dynamic, typically the lifeblood of such ensemble horror, is utterly joyless here. It’s not that the characters dislike each other—they hate each other. This relentless animosity drags the film down, making you wish the creature would show up just to break the monotony. When it finally does—50 minutes in!—it’s hard to muster any excitement. The scares are woefully ineffective. Shaking the camera and tossing in random skull imagery doesn’t make for tension, it makes for frustration. Add to that a barrage of fake screams and melodramatic music cues, and the atmosphere feels more like a parody of horror than the real deal. The creature design is ambiguous at best, laughable at worst. Was it a monster? A spirit? A metaphor for my dwindling patience? The low-budget nature of the production is painfully evident in the special effects, which range from uninspired to downright amateurish. The kills, a hallmark of any decent horror film, are forgettable and lack any creativity. Even the gore—an area where budget films can often shine with ingenuity—is underwhelming. What does stand out is the snowy setting, which is admittedly beautiful. The stark, wintry landscapes provide a fleeting visual charm, but it’s far from enough to save the film. The title sequence, arriving so late it feels like a cruel joke, might be the only moment that elicited genuine emotion: incredulity. Writer/director Dionne Copland appears to have hinged the film’s entire concept on the discovery of a deer skull, and it shows. There’s no depth, no nuance, and no payoff. This movie is a cold wind indeed—frigid, aimless, and it definitely BLOWS. While it just narrowly avoids landing in the #turkey category, it’s certainly a miss. If you’re looking for a holiday horror film, skip this one and go for something with a bit more substance or at least one that doesn’t mistake constant bickering and shaky cameras for actual scares.

Your choices for streaming this one are limited including a couple of freebies.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/cold-wind-blowing-2022

I was itching to see the finale to this trilogy and for fans of the anti-hero and his wisecracking symbiote, it’s a dance worth watching. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.5/10. The Venom franchise takes its final bow with The Last Dance, a high-stakes conclusion to Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) and Venom's chaotic partnership. This installment, while not without its flaws, marks an improvement over its predecessor, delivering a bittersweet farewell that blends humor, action, and emotional stakes. The film finds Eddie and Venom on the run, hunted relentlessly by forces from both Earth and beyond. As the walls close in, the duo faces an impossible choice that pushes their bond to the breaking point. It’s a somber yet fitting end to their story, driven by a narrative that isn’t afraid to raise the stakes and embrace the inevitable. For fans of the comics, the introduction of Knull—who refers to himself as King in Black after the credits—is a highlight. His presence hints at an ambitious expansion of the storyline, with potential ripple effects that could tie into the broader Marvel Cinematic Universe. Having read the King in Black saga, I'm excited to see the seeds of that storyline planted here. Visually, these flix continue to impress. The symbiote effects remain top-notch, delivering chaotic, fluid action sequences that capture the essence of Venom's powers. Tom Hardy once again brings his A-game, both as Eddie Brock and the voice of Venom, balancing the film’s darker tones with laugh-out-loud humor. One standout moment is a joke referencing Hardy’s real-life status as a fan-favorite heartthrob, where Venom teases Eddie about past involvement in "sexiest man" contests. It’s self-aware humor like this that keeps the film grounded amid its darker themes. While the movie is a step up from the previous sequel, it still struggles with pacing and a somewhat overloaded plot. Knull’s arc, though intriguing, feels underdeveloped, leaving you wanting more. However, the chemistry between Eddie and Venom, the sharp humor, and the satisfying sense of closure make this a worthy finale. It delivers on its promise of a dramatic and entertaining send-off. It’s not perfect, but for fans of the anti-hero and his wisecracking symbiote, it’s a dance worth watching.

Currently, this one is in theaters and on a few streamers including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/venom-the-last-dance-2024

Cleaning up this Xmas horror playlist and I was treated to another slasher that has no memorable kills, subpar acting, and a lackluster story. Enjoy LOL. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.3/10. The flick opens with a promisingly dark start seeing a young Christina witness the horrifying murder of her family at the hands of Sammy the Elf. Decades later, the vengeful elf returns to punish the naughty in a small Midwest town, and Christina (Kayla Kelly) must confront her traumatic past to protect her daughter. Unfortunately, the execution leaves much to be desired. First, let’s address the acting—or lack thereof. The performances suggest the cast skipped acting school entirely, with line delivery ranging from wooden to overly exaggerated. The self-aware quip, "We're not going to become another low-budget horror movie cliché," only serves to highlight the irony, as the film fully embraces every cliché imaginable. Technical issues further plague the film. Inconsistent sound mixing makes some scenes difficult to hear, and the lack of practical effects or creativity in the kills makes the horror elements fall flat. For a movie with a killer elf premise, you’d expect at least some fun or inventive gore, but instead, we’re treated to uninspired deaths that fail to stand out in the crowded slasher subgenre. Toward the film’s drawn-out conclusion, it makes a half-hearted attempt at storytelling, introducing a melodramatic twist that feels forced and unearned. The pacing drags, and the attempt to infuse depth and emotion falters due to the cast's limited acting chops. There’s one glimmer of entertainment that I though was a humorous moment from the “token Black guy” character, who subverts a horror trope to his advantage with a well-timed joke. It’s a fleeting instance of wit in an otherwise humorless and uninspired script. Overall, the movie is too long, too derivative, and too low-quality to make any lasting impression. With no memorable kills, subpar acting, and a lackluster story, it fails to deliver even the guilty pleasures of a low-budget holiday slasher. If you’re looking for Christmas horror, this one should stay off your wishlist.

Amazon has this flick for rent and a few freebies do as well.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/he-knows-2022

Worth a watch if you’re a fan of indie slashers that take place during Christmas but temper your expectations. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4,9/10. I'll admit, the title sold me right away. With its promise of holiday horror, this flicks aims to blend slasher thrills with a modern social twist, taking us on a blood-soaked sleigh ride into the conservative hometown of trans true-crime podcaster, Lola (Jeremy Moineau). A masked Santa killer pays grisly homage to a town legend, The Toymaker, and Lola’s own connection to these murders puts her in the killer’s sights. Unfortunately, while the setup had potential, the film ultimately delivers a mixed bag. The character of Lola is compelling on paper—a trans woman returning to her judgmental hometown, armed with her resilience and investigative skills—but the execution leaves something to be desired. Flashbacks of her pre-transition struggles are effectively brutal, but the tonal shift post-transition feels jarring, as everyone suddenly treats her like she’s untouchable. This inconsistency undercuts the emotional depth the character could have brought. The plot leans heavily on the classic “podcaster solves the crime” trope, with local police inexplicably granting Lola unfettered access to confidential case details. While this might appeal to podcast enthusiasts who dream of cracking cold cases, it feels far-fetched and undermines the story’s credibility. The mystery starts off decently, weaving together some passable twists, but the finale takes a turn for the absurd, resolving everything in a way that feels more convenient than clever. Performance-wise, Moineau does a respectable job as Lola, adding layers of vulnerability and strength to a script that doesn’t always do her justice. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast feels largely forgettable, serving more as filler than fleshed-out characters. The direction by Alice Maio Mackay is a standout, though. Mackay’s eye for composition and her ability to create striking visuals hint at a promising future in horror. While the kill scenes suffer from budget constraints and overly ambitious attempts at being “artsy” (looking at you, Suspiria), there’s enough flair here to suggest that Mackay could deliver something truly special with a bigger budget or a more fleshed out script. At 69 minutes, themovie is short enough that it doesn’t overstay its welcome. While it stumbles in its storytelling and lacks the resources to fully capitalize on its premise, there’s a scrappy charm to its effort. If you’re in the mood for a quick holiday horror flick with some decent visuals and don’t mind a few narrative missteps, you could do worse.

You have a few streaming choices aside from Amazon including freebies.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/carnage-for-christmas-2024

I always enjoy a movie that has you convinced you know what is going on and then it takes a right turn into something else. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.3/10. I caught this one on Chiller years ago and really enjoyed it but now I need to see if it was as good as my memory is telling me it was. The answer is a very sneaky YES. This flick sees the luck of a well-known jewel thief, Ritchie Donovan (Stephen Dorff) having just run out. Ritchie is the only survivor of a heist that went terribly wrong having been forced to take the rap he is then sent to Russia. When in the country Ritchie is sent to steal a priceless, much sought-after antique cross that is locked away in a safe on the penthouse floor of an old, creepy Moscow building. Now with time running out something goes terribly wrong and Ritchie and his Russian crew have to take hostages and make a stand on the abandoned thirteenth floor of the building. Expect to see some serial killers, insane hostages, double-crossing psycho Russian hardmen and that is the tame stuff. If you have read my reviews, you know I point out that Dorff has a tendency to pop up in movies that start out as one thing and then morph into something totally different. This is one of those flix. I don't want to spoil anything but this is a well made horror comedy that is only brought down by a lack of overall polish and maybe a bit more financial backing. Kit Ryan does a fabulous job bringing all these ideas together into a single film. I am not sure why but this was nearly the extent of his directing resume although I do see he has an upcoming series in the works. If you get the chance, I suggest checking it out for a change-of-pace type of movie.

There are several streaming options all with the same price so take your pick.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/botched-2007

Fans of the 1987 cult classic beware, while this remake does bring us an oozing splatterfest, it misses the FUN aspect. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Out of nowhere, the 2024 remake of Street Trash arrived, stirring up feelings of both anticipation and nostalgia. As a huge fan of the original 1987 cult classic, which exuded Troma flair without actually being a Troma production, I had high hopes for this reimagining. The premise remains similar: a group of homeless misfits fights for survival against a sinister plot to exterminate every homeless person in the city. However, the execution in this version leaves much to be desired. One positive aspect is the involvement of Bloody Disgusting in the production, a move that guaranteed some quality gore and practical effects. Indeed, the practical effects here are commendable, providing an old-school charm that horror fans can appreciate. However, the problem lies in the film's overall tone and delivery. The original Street Trash was a chaotic and spontaneous rollercoaster of absurd comedy and over-the-top gore, flowing naturally in a way that felt both anarchic and entertaining. In contrast, Ryan Kruger’s remake struggles to capture that same magic. The comedy and gore, while present, feel overly calculated and forced. It’s as if the film is constantly trying to prove itself rather than letting its absurdity and grotesque elements unfold organically. Kruger’s effort to both emulate and change the original simultaneously results in a tonal mishmash that doesn’t quite hit the mark. Fans of the original will notice attempts to recreate iconic moments and vibes, but they lack the carefree, anarchic energy that made the 1987 version so memorable. Despite its flaws, this rehash has its moments, especially for fans who enjoy practical effects and grimy, gross-out horror. However, it ultimately pales in comparison to the chaotic brilliance of the original.

Only Amazon and Apple to (b)rent and something called Hoopla for free. Trailer

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/street-trash-2024

I have been neglecting #jackmeatstv so here is a dark, captivating, and expertly acted series that fans of The Batman won’t want to miss.

My quick rating - 8.2/10. Colin Farrell delivers a phenomenal performance as Oz Cobb, a.k.a. The Penguin, in this gripping and gritty Gotham crime saga. Picking up where The Batman (2022 left off, this first season focuses on Oz's ruthless rise to power as he attempts to seize control of Gotham's criminal underworld. What sets this show apart is its ability to craft a captivating story about an unapologetic scumbag, and yet you can’t help but root for him to succeed—at least, I was. Farrell brings such nuance to the role, perfectly balancing Penguin's dishonesty, brutality, and surprising charm. He’s a deeply flawed anti-hero who commands every scene. The supporting cast also shines, especially Rhenzy Feliz as Victor, Penguin's apprentice. Victor’s character is so well-designed and believable that he becomes an essential anchor to Oz's story, highlighting the complexities of loyalty, ambition, and mentorship in a cutthroat world. The writing and directing crew deserve major praise for their ability to pull viewers into Gotham's murky underbelly. The dialogue is sharp, the pacing is tight, and the tone stays true to the dark, noir-inspired aesthetic of The Batman. Every scene feels purposeful, whether it’s showcasing Penguin’s cunning schemes or fleshing out the tension between power players in the city. The Penguin is a masterclass in character-driven storytelling, anchored by phenomenal acting and razor-sharp writing. Farrell proves once again that he can completely disappear into a role, making you cheer for the villain as he claws his way to the top. If this is just the beginning of Oz Cobb’s reign, I can’t wait to see what’s next for Gotham’s underworld.

Check Justwatch for the various ways to check this MAX original.

https://jackmeat.wixsite.com/jackmeat/post/the-penguin-season-1-2024