The Rig (2023) | This supernatural thriller is a worthwhile binge if you are interested in the mysterious force in the fog around this oil rig. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.0/10. Set on a remote Scottish oil rig, The Rig kicks off with an eerie, supernatural premise as a dense fog rolls in, isolating the crew and unleashing forces beyond their comprehension. The show thrives on its claustrophobic setting, creating a palpable sense of dread, with stunning visuals and impressive special effects amplifying the unease.

Iain Glen does a good job through both seasons as Magnus, the head honcho of the rig, bringing a steady, commanding presence to the role. Emily Hampshire also stands out with a solid performance as the strong female lead, always managing to rein in the macho guys when they veer too far into tough-guy mode. Martin Compston had an interesting and pivotal role, though it seemed to shift between seasons, making his character arc feel slightly inconsistent.

Season 1 is an engaging slow-burn mystery, filled with tension and unanswered questions that kept me hooked. It borrows elements from The Mist, The Thing, and Alien, but never enough to feel derivative—it blends familiar ideas into something uniquely its own. The pacing is tight, the mystery intriguing, and the performances solid across the board. (7/10)

Unfortunately, Season 2 loses steam. The momentum built in the first season fades as the show struggles to maintain the same level of tension and intrigue. The writing feels lazier, relying on familiar tricks that no longer hold the same impact. While it does attempt to break away from its earlier inspirations, the execution doesn’t quite land, making it a less compelling watch. (5/10)

With the way things ended, the door is left open for continuation, but if the show were to return, it would likely take a very different direction from what we’ve seen so far. Whether that’s a good or bad thing remains to be seen, but as it stands, The Rig works best as a full binge, especially now that a third season seems unlikely.

The Rig (2023)

This show is still an Amazon exclusive.

https://jackmeat.com/the-rig-2023/

Riff Raff (2025) | If you enjoy dark comedies with crime elements and an all-star cast, this flick is well worth a watch. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. Director Dito Montiel delivers an engaging dark comedy in Riff Raff, a film that takes a familiar story and reinvents it with sharp writing, a well-paced narrative, and a stellar ensemble cast. Montiel, known for his ability to craft character-driven stories (A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints), keeps the film moving at a brisk pace. At just 103 minutes, Riff Raff manages to juggle backstory, character dynamics, and escalating tension without feeling bloated. The dialogue is sharp and witty, making even the film’s heavier moments feel engaging rather than weighed down by melodrama.

The film wastes no time in setting up its premise. Vince (Ed Harris), a former criminal who turned his life around, enjoys a quiet life with his wife, Sandy (Gabrielle Union), and their good-natured son, DJ (Miles J. Harvey). But their peaceful New Year's Eve is thrown into chaos when Vince’s estranged son, Rocco (Lewis Pullman), arrives unannounced with his pregnant girlfriend, Marina (Emanuela Postacchini), and his brash, trouble-stirring mother, Ruth (Jennifer Coolidge). Rocco’s arrival isn’t just a social visit—he’s on the run, and hot on his trail is the aging but dangerous mobster Lefty (Bill Murray), who has a personal vendetta that threatens to turn this family reunion into a bloodbath. While the story itself isn't groundbreaking, the way it's told keeps things fresh. Montiel manages to weave past and present seamlessly, ensuring that every emotional beat lands while maintaining a tense and often darkly humorous atmosphere.

The real highlight here is the cast. It’s hard to single out one standout performance because the chemistry between the actors is what makes Riff Raff shine. Each character feels lived-in, and their interactions elevate the material beyond a typical revenge thriller. The dialogue is particularly well-crafted—natural, witty, and at times biting—adding depth to these characters and their motivations.

While the film might not break new ground in terms of story, its execution is what makes it stand out. The strong performances and Montiel’s skillful direction keep you engaged right up to the final moments. If you’re drawn to any of the actors involved, you’ll likely be hooked from the start. But if the names don’t entice you, the film’s impact might be a little less potent.

If you enjoy dark comedies with crime elements and an all-star cast, Riff Raff is well worth a watch. The writing, performances, and pacing ensure that even a familiar story feels fresh. It balances tension, humor, and action effectively, making it an entertaining watch with a cast that truly brings it to life.

Riff Raff (2025)

Here are plenty of streaming choices to pick from, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/riff-raff-2025/

Cleaner (2025) | Think Die Hard with a female protagonist and instead of being trapped IN the building she is stuck 50 stories up outside the building. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Die Hard meets Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning in Cleaner, a high-altitude action thriller that delivers solid fight choreography and well-filmed sequences but struggles to elevate itself beyond standard popcorn fare.

Daisy Ridley stars as Joey, an ex-soldier-turned-window-cleaner who finds herself in an impossible situation, suspended 50 storeys (before you spellcheck, that is the British spelling ;) up outside a London skyscraper when a group of radical activists storm an energy company’s gala, taking 300 hostages, including her younger, autistic brother. What follows is a race against time as Joey battles both the terrorists and the unforgiving elements, scaling the building in a desperate bid to save those trapped inside.

Ridley commits fully to the physical demands of the role, and the action sequences are crisp, well-choreographed, and engaging. The setup is refreshing in that it flips the usual Die Hard-style formula, keeping Joey on the outside looking in, which leads to some tense, vertigo-inducing stunts. However, where Cleaner falters is in its character development and storytelling. Joey’s personal stakes, particularly the sibling dynamic meant to drive her motivation, feel undercooked, making it difficult to form a strong emotional connection.

Clive Owen, unfortunately, is given little to do, a disappointing waste of talent in what could have been a memorable supporting role. The villains are serviceable but lack the depth to be truly compelling, and the film doesn’t offer much in terms of originality beyond its unique premise.

That said, if you go in expecting a straightforward action flick, Cleaner delivers enough entertainment to be worth a watch. It’s a well-executed but ultimately forgettable thriller that does just enough to keep you engaged—nothing more, nothing less.

Cleaner (2025)

Amazon, along with these streamers have this for theater-at-home pricing (03.29.25)

https://jackmeat.com/cleaner-2025/

Womb (2025) | Based on true events of fetal abduction, which is horrific, unlike this movie, which is scary in a different way. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.7/10. This movie starts with a gruesome bang, claiming to be based on true events of fetal abduction. While there have been real-life cases of this horrifying crime, any sense of realism goes out the window pretty quickly. It’s as if writer Mike Walsh got halfway through and thought, “Nah, I don't want it this crazy.” And proceeded to go into a more tame suspense mode.

Taylor Hanks, playing our pregnant protagonist, does a decent enough job, but the script does her no favors. Her character makes choices that range from frustrating to outright baffling. Meanwhile, the little girl who enters the story spends most of the movie looking like she just realized she’s in a film, which is… a choice.

The flick does have tension and moves at a brisk pace, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. It’s the kind of film that keeps you watching, not because you’re enthralled, but because you keep hoping it’ll turn into the movie it could have been. Instead, it keeps delivering moments that make you yell at your screen, "Are you serious?"

Spoiler Territory: The Stupidity of It All

• A guy refuses to kill yet thinks casually removing someone’s eyes with a hunting knife and believes the person is surviving? Sure. Science is just a suggestion in this universe.
• The villain is willing to let a mother and child die but, when handed a loaded gun at point-blank range, just… does nothing. Woman, what is your endgame!
• The movie works so hard to convince you it’s a horrifying true crime story, only to abandon that for a straight-up kidnapping. Did we forget the horror tag?
• The killer? The other victims, wait, how? Didn't he/she succeed in the very beginning? I'm done.

Would Womb resonate more with mothers? Maybe. Would it resonate with anyone who appreciates coherent writing? Probably not.

Womb (2025)

Not an abundance of streaming options out there, but here is what Justwatch has right now.

My initial rating might be generous after thinking this through next day. What is your opinion? (jump in with stars or comments to discuss)

https://jackmeat.com/womb-2025/

Last Breath (2025) | This flick is an intense, edge-of-your-seat experience that commands appreciation for the extreme dangers of deep-sea diving. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.8/10. This flick plunges us into the perilous world of deep-sea diving, following a team of seasoned saturation divers as they risk everything to save a trapped crewmate hundreds of feet below the ocean’s surface. This gripping survival thriller delivers a tense, visceral experience that immerses you in the unforgiving environment of underwater maintenance, where danger lurks with every breath.

The film’s strongest asset is its sheer realism. The underwater sequences feel suffocatingly claustrophobic, making it clear just how terrifying and intense this kind of work truly is, especially in the face of raging seas. The story is one of resilience, teamwork, and the unwavering bravery required for a job that keeps vital infrastructure running in some of the most hostile conditions on Earth. It sheds light on the often-overlooked world of saturation divers, whose work at depths of up to 1,000 feet ensures the Internet pipelines crisscrossing the ocean floor remain intact.

While Last Breath isn’t the most emotionally charged film at first glance, it sneaks up on you with its human moments, delivering unexpected depth. The dynamic between Woody Harrelson, portraying a veteran diver on the brink of retirement, and Simu Liu, the younger, gung-ho counterpart, is serviceable but not groundbreaking. Their performances inside the diving “bell” are solid, though not the film’s highlight. Where the film truly shines is in its high-stakes boat sequences. The storm-tossed vessel, recreated with stunning CGI, brings a brutal authenticity to the film, making you feel every violent sway and crashing wave.

Even if you’re familiar with the real-life story that inspired Last Breath, the film presents it in a way that still makes it worth the watch. Director Alex Parkinson nicely followed up his documentary about the same event (and same name) with this feature-length flick. It’s an intense, edge-of-your-seat experience that commands appreciation for the extreme dangers of deep-sea diving. Just maybe don’t watch it right before bed like I did. It’s the kind of movie that lingers with you, making you grateful for every breath you take on solid ground.

Last Breath (2025)

Theater at home pricing on Amazon among these other streamers. Links will be the same when the price drops.

https://jackmeat.com/last-breath-2025/

Heretic (2024) | If you’re a fan of slow-burn tension and sinister mind games, this flick is well worth your time. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.9/10. Scott Beck and Bryan Woods deliver a well-crafted psychological horror in Heretic (2024), a tense and gripping tale that explores faith, manipulation, and survival. Starring Sophie Thatcher as Sister Barnes and Chloe East as Sister Paxton, the film follows two young missionaries who unwittingly step into the lair of Mr. Reed, played by a chillingly diabolical Hugh Grant. What starts as a routine house call quickly devolves into a deadly game of cat-and-mouse.

The film does a remarkable job of drawing us into Mr. Reed’s twisted narrative. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, making every interaction feel weighty with subtext. The tension builds steadily, and the movie kept me hooked, feeding you small but tantalizing pieces of the mystery as it unfolds. Even with its confined setting, mostly within the walls of Mr. Reed’s house, there is always a sense of hidden depth, something yet to be discovered.

Visually, the film excels. The house itself, along with its eerie model counterpart, is wonderfully designed and adds an extra layer of unease. It’s a shame they didn’t utilize these elements a bit more, as they had great potential to elevate the psychological horror aspect even further.

The performances are what really made this flick. Grant embodies a menacing yet charismatic antagonist, his portrayal of Mr. Reed both captivating and unsettling. Thatcher and East do a fantastic job as the reluctant heroines, bringing vulnerability to their roles, making their characters’ plight all the more compelling.

However, where the film slightly falters is in its conclusion. Without spoiling anything, the ending felt like it could have been “more.” While the buildup was strong, the resolution seemed to take the easier route instead of something more profound or impactful. It’s possible that my expectations were steering the story in a different direction in my head, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a missed opportunity to deliver something even greater.

Despite this, Heretic remains a solid psychological horror entry, effectively keeping its audience on edge throughout. Had I completed my top ten list for last year, this would have likely made the cut. Beck and Woods have certainly demonstrated their skill in crafting tight, well-edited scenes and keeping the suspense taut. If you’re a fan of slow-burn tension and sinister mind games, Heretic is well worth your time.

Heretic (2024)

Plenty of streamers to choose from including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/heretic-2024/

Dead Teenagers (2024) | Part 3 of this Fresh Hell trilogy is a slasher that tries to be a thinker but ends up overthinking itself. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.8/10. The old standby cabin in the woods setup. A group of teens, a masked killer, some inevitable bloodshed—until, whoops, the killer kicks the bucket first. That’s right, folks: the man (or woman) behind the mask gets the axe before anyone else, and suddenly, these teens aren’t just running for their lives. They’re trapped in something far worse… a convoluted movie script.

And not just any script—one so tangled in time jumps and narrative loops that even Christopher Nolan might scratch his head. One second, we’re in a typical slasher, and the next, reality itself is bending like a dollar-store funhouse mirror. There's even an exorcism flashback that sneaks in like it took a wrong turn from another movie.

Which, apparently, it did. Turns out Dead Teenagers is actually part three of a trilogy, released in record time like the filmmakers were on a caffeine-fueled speedrun. Maybe watching the first two would help make sense of things, but now that I have readjusted my watch schedule I can confirm it doesn't make a damn difference.

That being said, there are some bright spots. The practical effects? Solid. The kills? Bloody fun. The ambition? Admirable. The acting? Well, let's just say that if you're stuck in a script, you'd hope for some stronger performances to sell the predicament. Instead, the cast delivers lines like they're reading a confusing IKEA manual.

At the end of the day, Dead Teenagers is an ambitious mess—a slasher that overdoses on high-concept twists but forgets to stick the landing. It’s like if Scream and Inception had a low-budget baby, but the baby never learned to walk properly. Still, if you enjoy practical gore and don’t mind getting whiplash from a plot that refuses to sit still, you might just have a decent time.

Dead Teenagers (2024)

Overall, part 3 of this Fresh Hell trilogy is a slasher that tries to be a thinker but ends up overthinking itself.

Amazon along with a couple of other streamers have this one.

https://jackmeat.com/dead-teenagers-2024/

Wolves Against The World (2024) | Fresh Hell's part 2 is only redeemable by the occasional practical effect and the chance to debate what the actual message was. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. So, where should I begin with Wolves Against The World? The title promises some sort of epic werewolf showdown, but alas, the only thing howling here is my confusion. This film, directed by Quinn Armstrong (who seems hell-bent on delivering profound statements instead of horror flicks), gives us two former neo-Nazi metal band members reuniting at the site of their bandmate's suicide. One wallows in grievances, and the other tries to redeem his past. The result? It's a mess of occult nonsense that’s more like Wolves Against Logic.

The film’s pacing feels like it was designed by someone who thought a slow build-up to nowhere was the pinnacle of suspense. Seriously, don’t expect any thrills or scares. You’re getting roughly 90 minutes of two dudes brooding, and that’s about it. It’s more like a therapy session for old Nazis than a horror film. Think An American Werewolf in London without the werewolves, the humor, the gore, the creativity, you know, anything interesting.

As for the acting? It’s decent enough, I guess, though it's hard to tell if the performances are supposed to reflect their inner torment or if they just forgot to read their lines before filming. Michael Kunicki, as Louis, is all about trying to leave his neo-Nazi days behind, but it's unclear if he’s doing that for redemption or just because he realized that being a racist in a metal band is so 2004. Armstrong playing Anders gets a shot at being bald but also contributes a decent performance as the one holding onto his Viking/Nazi glory. Is this a redemption story, or is it just a pro-Nazi propaganda flick? I’m not sure, perhaps I’m missing the deeper meaning here, but it could also just be a mess.

And about those occasional practical effects. The movie teases us with werewolf vibes early on, giving you just enough hope to think, “Hey, this might turn into something cool!” But nope, that’s about as far as it goes before we’re back to existential conversations about the soul, the past, and whether or not we can ever truly escape our roots (Spoiler alert: you can’t, especially when the movie drags like this).

Speaking of which, the trilogy (yes, this is part of a trilogy, though none of the films seem to share anything except a vague sense of confusion and a cabin in the woods) doesn’t bother connecting any dots. Honestly, you could watch these in any order or not at all and still have no idea what’s going on.

So, to wrap up—if you’re looking for a werewolf movie, keep looking. If you want an occult drama with two dudes battling their demons (literal and metaphorical) in a cabin, then congrats, you’re in the right place. But for the rest of us, Wolves Against The World is more of a slow-motion trainwreck than a horror flick.

Wolves Against the World (2024)

Amazon and a handful of other streamers are carrying this flick.

https://jackmeat.com/wolves-against-the-world-2024/

The Exorcism of Saint Patrick (2024) | Part 1 in the Fresh Hell trilogy where the connection is the location and throwing in ideas like confetti. First up - Religious trauma. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.5/10. Nothing like a fresh serving of religious trauma and supernatural vengeance to spice up an evening. This flick attempts to blend conversion therapy with good ole ghostly retribution, but instead, it feels like a bizarre sermon that got lost on its way to the afterlife.

First off, the “exorcism” in question is about as effective as trying to baptize a cat—it’s mostly just the pastor yelling homophobic nonsense at a teenager while the kid, understandably, has the worst time of his life. By the time the actual horror elements kicked in, I had already endured a sermon-length sequence of “scared straight” tactics that were more stomach-churning than the eventual hauntings. The pastor’s methods? Uninspired and, honestly, boring. If you’re going to be evil, at least be creative.

Now, I will give the movie this: when the ghost of the bullied teen finally shows up for revenge, the film picks up significantly. The practical effects—once they make their long-overdue entrance—are solid, with some genuinely eerie visuals. But, let’s be real, a lot of you will have checked out before then because sitting through the first half of this movie is like waiting for water to boil… while someone lectures you on sin.

Maya Jeyam’s role is a bit of a puzzle, especially considering Dead Teenagers (which I accidentally watched first, oops). Without diving into spoiler territory, let’s just say the Fresh Hell trilogy continues its trend of throwing in ideas like confetti, without much concern for whether they actually fit into the plot. I'll be checking out the second flick soon to verify this trend continues.

Final verdict? The Exorcism of Saint Patrick is an uneven mix of misguided messaging and late-arriving horror. If you make it past the aggressively tedious “therapy” segment, you’ll find some decent but brief ghostly revenge. If not, well, I don’t blame you. This one tests your patience more than your faith.

The Exorcism of Saint Patrick (2024)

This one has a few more streaming options aside from Amazon to choose from.

https://jackmeat.com/the-exorcism-of-saint-patrick-2024/

American Terror Tales 3 (2024) | If you’ve got an insatiable curiosity for how bad a horror anthology can get, click that Amazon link. You've been warned. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.1/10. I haven’t seen the first two American Terror Tales, but if this third installment is any indication, I’d wager they didn’t matter. At a merciful 58 minutes, this film is perfect for late-night viewing—if your idea of a good time is questioning your life choices and the laws of physics. To give you an idea of the amateur nature, IMDB says "Seven new tales of terror from the Heartland will rip your heart out." The trailer claims 8. Maybe the doll getting shot at the beginning was considered a tale of terror LOL.

Let’s start with the positives. The first story had a decent setup: three guys running a haunted house who take pride in scaring kids but get outdone by a group of unshakable young adults. That could’ve led to something cool. Instead, it led to the rest of the movie, which was as directionless as a GPS with a dead battery.

The "stories" (a term I use lightly) feel like half-written ideas someone jotted down at 3 AM and decided to film before having coffee. Several of them don’t even seem to end—they just sort of stop, as if the editor had a panic attack and hit "export" before realizing they forgot the climax.

Here’s a breakdown of the anthology’s greatest (lack of) hits:

• The Clown Story: Could’ve been creepy but forgot to develop an actual plot.
• The Locked-in-a-Room Skit: Had all the tension of an escape room where the door is already open.
• The Phone Chapter: Might still be buffering because it never reached a conclusion.
• The Alien Story: Briefly had a spooky street scene before being ruined by a finale that made even less sense than the rest of the film.
• The Painting Episode: Clearly existed to showcase an actress’s cleavage, but then never actually did—a missed opportunity on multiple levels.
• The Pedophile Pastor: If the goal was to be disturbing, it succeeded… but mostly because of the editing, which was so choppy it felt like watching a VHS tape someone recorded over six times.

And let’s talk about that one scene: A character falls out of a car or gets pushed, and somehow lands directly in front of the moving vehicle. I don’t know what kind of Final Destination-level physics are at play here, but Isaac Newton is rolling in his grave. (excuse to slide in the new Final Destination 6 trailer.)

The acting? Imagine a home movie where your friends do improv after a few too many drinks. The budget? Let’s just say I've seen Halloween decorations with more convincing production value.

American Terror Tales 3 (2024)

Should you watch American Terror Tales 3? Only if you’ve got an insatiable curiosity for how bad a horror anthology can get. Otherwise, do yourself a favor—skip the whole trilogy and watch ALMOST anything else. I think you know which movie that "almost" refers to.

Your sole choice for this winner is Amazon. Justwatch link in case that changes.

https://jackmeat.com/american-terror-tales-3-2024/

White Crow (2025) | This is an enjoyable indie effort on a shoestring budget bringing an espionage thriller with twists, betrayals, and conspiracy. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. I was able to get an advanced look at this micro-budget spy thriller from first-time writer/director George Threadgold, following wounded and hunted spy J.D. (Julian Gamm) as he seeks revenge on the secretive dark agency he once worked for. What unfolds is an espionage thriller with twists, betrayals, and a conspiracy that could change the world.

Right off the bat, the film nails a few key elements that many indie action flicks struggle with. The camerawork is precise and controlled with no headache-inducing shaky cam, just smooth and steady shots that complement the action. The picture quality holds up well, keeping a professional look despite the limited budget. Sound design is another strong point, used effectively to build tension in key moments.

Where "White Crow" stumbles is in the acting. While the script sets up some solid tension, not all performances match the weight of the scenes. That being said, Andrew Rolfe stands out as Charles Mason, delivering a strong and layered performance as the film’s pseudo-antagonist. He brings a presence that adds credibility to the story and helps anchor the film’s darker moments

The movie throws in some sly humor, which helps keep it from feeling overly grim. The espionage elements are handled well enough, there are double-crosses, mysterious motives, and a conspiracy angle that keeps things moving. The locations are used wisely, giving the film a bigger feel than its budget might suggest. However, the fight choreography needed some work. While the effort is there, some of the action sequences lacked fluidity and impact, making them feel a bit staged rather than intense. A more polished approach to the fights would have helped elevate the flick overall.

Ultimately, White Crow is an enjoyable indie effort that lays the groundwork for more stories in its secret society world. The door is wide open for sequels, and with some refinement—particularly in performances, fight choreography and pacing—future entries could be even stronger. Fans of espionage thrillers who appreciate what can be done on a shoestring budget should give this one a look when it hits major streaming platforms.

White Crow (2025)

Nothing is coming up quite yet on Justwatch but be sure to check back. It looks like Plex has this as a freebie.

Thank you to Andrew Rolfe for alerting me to this flick, I look forward to seeing how this all shakes out.

https://jackmeat.com/white-crow-2025/

Goldilocks And The Three Bears: Death & Porridge (2024) | A certain Marsupial saved this from being the worst this year but if you want more cinematic absurdity, I give you Goldilocks. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.3/10. I have to say I was not wondering what if Goldilocks was a deranged home invader and the three bears were masked slashers with questionable motives. But I got an answer anyway because this flick serves up a steaming bowl of, to quote my fiance… something. Whether it’s horror, comedy, or an unintentional experiment in surrealism remains unclear, but one thing’s for certain—it’s a wild ride of nonsensical decisions, bizarre cinematography, and, of course, never-ending bullets.

Let’s start with the opening, which immediately sets the tone for the film’s logic—or lack thereof. Goldilocks doesn’t just break in; she practically busts the door down like she’s SWAT. Then, we get an early contender for Most Unnecessary Dramatic Music Cue of the Year when a dude falls off a counter like it’s a life-threatening event. If that doesn’t clue you in, the ever-changing color gradients and what might be dubbed audio certainly will. It’s like the filmmakers couldn’t decide between making a horror movie or a torture device and just shrugged their shoulders.

Speaking of confusion, let’s talk about the plot. A group of friends on a rural getaway (originality is dead, folks) suddenly find themselves hunted by vengeful, masked fairy tale characters. The supposed highlight? A guy dramatically catches a knife midair (which is cool, I guess), lures one of the bears into the woods, and poof—next thing you know, everyone is conveniently tied up. Did they teleport? Did the bears level up their stealth stats? We may never know.

Goldilocks herself is an enigma, hidden behind a mask so cheap that even dollar store Halloween aisles would be embarrassed to stock it. Her dialogue? Unintelligible. It’s like trying to decipher someone talking through a mouthful of porridge. Not that it matters, because the practical effects are so laughable that you almost expect a bear suit’s zipper to be visible at some point. The action sequences also follow the sacred horror tradition of “infinite ammo,” where guns keep firing with no reloads, because realism is for nerds.

Overall, Goldilocks And The Three Bears: Death And Porridge is exactly what you expect from a film with that title—ridiculous, incoherent, and best enjoyed while playing games before bed when you need background noise that occasionally makes you say, “Wait… what?” This one would probably be rated even lower had I not just watched Fiece Killer Marsupial LOL. If you’re looking for a film with great practical effects, tension, or even basic continuity, just throw this porridge out. But if you enjoy laughing at cinematic absurdity, this one might be just right if you are working on your "Worst of the Year" list.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Death & Porridge (2024)

You can find this for as low as a buck on Amazon and these other streamers. (They should be paying YOU)

https://jackmeat.com/goldilocks-and-the-three-bears-2024/

Borderline (2025) | If you like your horror with a side of humor this flick is a love story that just won’t take no for an answer. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.6/10. Yep, love. It makes us do crazy things. Like escaping from a mental institution, breaking into a pop star’s home, and waging a battle of wits and knives against anyone who gets in the way. Borderline gives us exactly what the title suggests: a movie that teeters on the edge of greatness but never quite commits.

Ray Nicholson plays Quinn, a lovestruck psycho who is equal parts charming and utterly unhinged. Think Ted Bundy with a Spotify playlist of '90s bangers. He’s got the look, the obsession, and, unfortunately, the screen time of a supporting character. Seriously, why are we not getting more of this guy? Instead, we’re treated to an ensemble of equally murderous misfits who turn what should have been an intimate stalker-thriller into a horror-comedy team-building exercise.

Straight to streaming video darling Samara Weaving plays Sofia, the pop superstar who quickly realizes her biggest hit isn't going to be her escape plan. She spends most of the movie dodging knives, stalkers, and nostalgia-driven musical cues while delivering a solid final-girl performance. But let's be honest—the real scene-stealer here is Alba Baptista as Penny, a pint-sized villainess who could probably get her own spin-off, a prequel, or at the very least, a Youtube series on “creative ways to murder your enemies.”

The kills? Satisfying. Plenty of blood, plenty of stabbing, plenty of “oh, that’s gotta hurt” moments. The humor? Dark. The kind of humor that makes you chuckle, then immediately check if anyone else in the room is judging you. The third act? Well... it exists. Instead of an explosive climax, we get a wrap-up—the cinematic equivalent of an “Okay, we’re done now.” It’s like the movie just got tired and decided to end.

So, should you check out Borderline? If you like your horror with a side of humor, your stalkers with a hint of charm, and your finales with, well, low expectations—sure. It’s entertaining, but you’ll probably walk away thinking, it could have been so much more. It's a love story that just won’t take no for an answer.

Borderline (2025)

Amazon along with a few other streamers have this one for you.

https://jackmeat.com/borderline-2025/

97 Minutes (2023) | If you're seeking a well-crafted and authentic high-stakes thriller you will want to avoid this crash landing. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.3/10. How dare they make a flick called 97 Minutes and give us a running time of 93 minutes??? That is some terrible fight choreography. The flick attempts to deliver an intense ticking-clock scenario aboard a hijacked 767 airplane facing an imminent disaster due to dwindling fuel supply, promising a gripping experience for the audience. Unfortunately, this potential is severely marred by the movie's glaring flaws. One of the most significant issues plaguing the film is the laughably terrible fight choreography. For a film that hinges on action and suspense, it's disappointing to see poorly choreographed fight scenes that fail to deliver the adrenaline-pumping excitement they should have provided. The lack of authenticity in the action sequences takes away from the film's credibility and dampens the impact of the hijacking crisis. Moreover, the film suffers from a multitude of writing problems, ranging from plot holes to inconsistencies. The script's flaws are evident from the very beginning, leaving you scratching your head at various poorly explained plot developments. Characters make decisions that defy logic, and the narrative fails to maintain a cohesive flow. 

The lack of attention to detail becomes apparent, especially in technical aspects such as aviation procedures, cabin pressure, and security protocols. The film's premise relies heavily on a ticking clock scenario, an aspect that could have provided a gripping sense of urgency and tension. However, due to the haphazard execution of the story and technical inaccuracies, the stakes fail to resonate. The tension that should have been built throughout the movie is undermined by the viewers' inability to fully immerse themselves in the plot due to its unrealistic and implausible elements. The whole flick just appears to lack any semblance of research when it comes to aviation-related matters. From flying and landing a plane to mid-air debris explosions and cabin pressure, the film's portrayal of these elements is far from accurate. The lack of attention to these critical details not only detracts from the film's credibility but also makes it difficult for viewers to suspend disbelief and invest in the unfolding drama. While the ticking clock scenario attempts to inject urgency, it fails to salvage the film from its myriad of issues. If you're seeking a well-crafted and authentic high-stakes thriller, you definitely made the wrong choice if you are clicking from below.

97 Minutes (2023)

Flick is a $4 rental on most streamers including Amazon

https://jackmeat.com/97-minutes-2023/

Mother Father Sister Brother Frank (2024) | I clicked on this amusing, well-acted film not knowing what to expect and I appreciated the dark humor aside from some irritating style choices. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. I went in blind on this dark comedy that plays out like a stage production adapted for the screen. The premise is simple but engaging: a suburban family finds their Sunday dinner disrupted when their uncle Frank crashes the gathering with an unexpected revelation, leading to a chaotic plot of murder.

One of the highlights of the film is seeing Mindy Cohn again—yes, Natalie from The Facts of Life—which adds a nostalgic touch for me. The movie has a strong ensemble cast, and the chemistry between the titular Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, and Frank is well-executed. The story itself is tightly woven, with plenty of moments that land well in the comedy department. However, a few key choices keep it from being as sharp as it could be.

For one, the film has an incredibly frustrating tendency for characters to constantly talk over one another. While it’s clearly meant to mimic real-life family dynamics, it quickly becomes grating. Additionally, the characters make an excessive number of dumb decisions—perhaps an intentional nod to their "ordinary people" status, but it often feels like a stretch when obvious, better solutions are ignored.

The horror tag is also misleading. While the movie revolves around a murder plot, it takes an excruciatingly long time for any actual death to occur. I don't mean in runtime, actual single death duration and the joke long overstays its welcome. Instead, the film leans heavily into a particular style of dark humor that will either click with audiences or leave them annoyed.

Ultimately, Mother Father Sister Brother Frank is an amusing, well-acted film with a distinct personality, but its shortcomings, especially the overlapping dialogue and questionable character logic, hold it back. It’s the kind of movie that some will love for its quirks, while others will find those same quirks frustrating. Personally, while I appreciated some of the humor, those issues kept me from rating it much higher.

Mother Father Sister Brother Frank (2024)

Amazon along with a handful of streamers have this one for home viewing.

https://jackmeat.com/mother-father-sister-brother-frank-2024/

Fierce Killer Marsupial (2024) | If you’re looking for an actual killer koala movie, just grab a stuffed animal & shake it in front of your face while talking to yourself. It’ll be far more entertaining. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 1.7/10. Ah yes, the long-awaited cinematic masterpiece about Australia’s most feared cryptid—the drop bear! A ruthless, bloodthirsty killer disguised as an adorable koala, ready to tear apart clueless tourists in the outback… at least, that’s what we should have gotten. Instead, we’re subjected to 86 minutes of two bumbling paranormal vloggers rambling about nonsense while the drop bear presumably naps off-screen, waiting for a better script. I swear, jack of all trades Frank Maljevac told his buddies "You think that breakdancer in the Olympics made Australia look bad, wait until you see my movie."
I was expecting Jaws but with a koala. What I got was wasted digital that looks like it was filmed with a potato covered in Vaseline, featuring camerawork that can only be described as experimental if the experiment was "How bad can we make this look before people turn it off?" Ever wanted to watch a movie where the camera spends more time on the ground than on the actual action? You’re in luck!

The audio? Oh, you mean the soothing sound of a microphone being rubbed against a cheese grater for the first 15 minutes? I thought maybe this was some kind of artistic choice—perhaps the drop bear was slowly chewing the mic—but no, just quality filmmaking!
As for the horror? There is none. No blood, no gore, and barely any movie to speak of. It’s like someone had a budget of two Vegemite sandwiches and a dream, but forgot the dream. At one point, I think a character realized they had made a terrible mistake by signing onto this disaster and begged to be killed off early—and honestly, I envied them. This flick is much more like "Fierce Killer of My Will to Live."
If you enjoy bad movies, this is STILL not worth your time. If you’re looking for an actual killer koala movie, just grab a stuffed animal, and shake it in front of your face while talking to yourself. It’ll be far more entertaining. In other words, avoid at all costs.

Fierce Killer Marsupial (2024)

Your choices are Amazon and Amazon right now on Justwatch.

https://jackmeat.com/fierce-killer-marsupial-2024/

The Dead Next Door (1989) | If you want ridiculous gore, over-the-top fun, and a movie that loves zombies as much as you do, grab a beer and pop this flick on. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. You ever watch a movie that’s objectively not good but somehow still manages to be a blast? This flick is exactly that—a wild, low-budget, fan-made(?) love letter to all things zombie that feels like it was stitched together with duct tape, enthusiasm, and a whole lot of fake blood. The plot? Well, the government has had enough of this zombie nonsense and forms an elite Zombie Squad to clean up the undead mess. But instead of just dealing with your typical shambling flesh-eaters, they stumble upon a fanatical cult that believes zombies are part of God’s divine plan. (Look, I’m no theologian, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.) Things go south fast, and what follows is a glorious mishmash of practical gore effects, time-of-day continuity errors, and actors who are clearly having the time of their lives.

The movie practically winks at us horror fans from start to finish. The names alone are a dead giveaway—Officer Raimi? Doctor Savini? Romero getting taken out early? I see what you did there. Even the undead Mercer looks straight out of Evil Dead. And speaking of Evil Dead, there’s a scene where cops are literally watching it in the briefing room. No subtlety here, just pure, unapologetic fandom.

And somehow, Sam Raimi is listed as a producer, because of course he is. Did he fund this with loose change found in Bruce Campbell’s couch? We may never know.

Honestly, I’m kicking myself for missing this one back in the day because it’s exactly the kind of scrappy ‘80s horror flick I live for. It’s a mess, sure, but it’s my kind of mess. The restoration team did a great job preserving this obscure oddity, making it look as good as possible (which is to say, better than it probably deserves).

If you go in expecting a polished, well-paced, expertly crafted film, you’re in the wrong neighborhood. But if you want ridiculous gore, over-the-top fun, and a movie that loves zombies as much as you do, The Dead Next Door delivers. Grab a beer, turn off your brain (before the zombies do it for you), and enjoy!

The Dead Next Door (1989)

Justwatch lists a few freebies and a couple of streamers to rent this remastered version.

https://jackmeat.com/the-dead-next-door-1989/

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) | IMO, this is the best in the series so far, delivering high-speed action, sharp humor, and a story with real emotional stakes. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.7/10. Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails reunite for their most intense battle yet in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, facing off against Shadow, a mysterious and powerful new adversary. Outmatched at every turn, Team Sonic must form an unlikely alliance to stop Shadow and prevent a global catastrophe.

Of the three films, this one is my favorite. The story feels more thought-out and cohesive, delivering a well-paced, action-packed adventure that stays true to the spirit of the games. The addition of Shadow, played exceptionally well by Keanu Reeves, elevates the film with a compelling backstory. Reeves' performance brings the right mix of intensity and mystery to the character, making Shadow a formidable and intriguing presence.

Another highlight? We get two Robotniks! Jim Carrey’s portrayal remains as over-the-top and entertaining as ever, and the movie amusingly acknowledges the dual role, with Carrey himself breaking the fourth wall in a clever and self-aware moment stating it's "as if we are two characters in a movie played by the same actor." The humor, while playful, never undercuts the stakes, keeping the balance between fun and tension just right.

Visually, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is outstanding. The action scenes are fast, fluid, and well-edited, perfectly capturing the high-energy style of the games. Sonic, as a character, feels the most like his gaming counterpart in this installment, and that’s a huge win for longtime fans such as me. The returning cast does a great job once again, bringing charm and personality to their roles.

The film’s emotional core is stronger than before, especially with Shadow’s arc adding weight to the story. It’s not just another speedster showdown—there’s real depth here, making the adventure all the more engaging. And of course, the ending and post-credits scene hint at even more mayhem to come, setting up future installments in a way that will leave fans hyped. At this point, I say bring on more Sonic movies! This franchise is only getting better, and this entry proves that with its action, humor, heart, and thrilling new characters.

IMO, it is the best in the series so far, delivering high-speed action, sharp humor, and a story with real emotional stakes.

Amazon is one of many streamers who are carrying this flick.

https://jackmeat.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-3-2024/

Mister Creep (2022) | If you want to experience true horror, try explaining this movie’s logic to someone who hasn’t seen it. It’ll haunt you longer than the film itself. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.3/10. I was recently wondering, "What if a found-footage horror movie was shot by someone who just discovered the zoom function?" Three college students stumble upon a mysterious television broadcast of a long-dead serial killer and decide the best course of action is to hunt down its origin. What follows is a journey filled with poor decisions, baffling logic, and cinematography so erratic it should come with a motion sickness warning. You know how I try to scrape up a decent performance to comment about? Yeah, there won't be ANY of that going on.

First off, let’s talk about the abandoned police station. Apparently, when law enforcement leaves town, they just pack up their coffee mugs and go, leaving behind decades of criminal evidence, case files, and probably a few unpaid parking tickets. Good thing these college kids found it before, I don’t know, literally anyone else EVER. The biggest horror here isn’t the ghostly broadcast or the lurking presence of "Mister Creep"—it’s the camerawork. The film is loaded with so many zooms, flickers, and filters that it feels like a TikTok editing challenge gone terribly wrong. There’s one moment where a terrified woman is crying her eyes out, which should be tense, but instead, the film slaps on so many unnecessary effects that it looks like an Instagram story posted by someone trying too hard to be artsy.

Then there’s the classic horror movie logic at play. At one point, our brilliant protagonists declare, “Let’s split up into groups of three!” Bold strategy, considering there are only three of them. Maybe they were including the cameraman in the headcount? Maybe the ghost of a better script was supposed to be part of the team? Who knows.

To be fair, there could have been a creepy movie buried somewhere in here if it had just stuck to the basics instead of constantly trying (and failing) to be visually creative. But between the bizarre camera work, the questionable script, and the general amateur vibe, Mister Creep isn’t scary—it’s just a mess. Even the most hardcore found-footage fans might want to sit this one out unless they enjoy feeling like they’re trapped inside a malfunctioning camcorder from the early 2000s. If you want to experience true horror, try explaining this movie’s logic to someone who hasn’t seen it. It’ll haunt you longer than the film itself.

Mister Creep (2022)

IF you are still interested, Amazon along with these streamers can provide this one for ya.

https://jackmeat.com/mister-creep-2022/

Replicator (2024) | A rushed but entertaining scifi horror flick with strong practical effects and a bleak atmosphere, just don’t expect a fully fleshed-out story. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. This movie presents a strange variation on the Body Snatchers formula, blending small-town horror with a touch of Lovecraftian dread. When the worst citizens of a quiet town suddenly become model members of society, young public defender Neila (KateLynn E. Newberry) finds herself unraveling a chilling mystery—one that reveals virtue may come at a gruesome price.

For a low-budget horror flick, the acting is about what you'd expect. Newberry carries the film well as the lead, giving Neila enough conviction to keep things engaging. On the other hand, Brian Spangler's sheriff is a notable weak link, though some of his stilted delivery could be excused given his character’s assimilation. The rest of the cast falls somewhere in the middle, neither outstanding nor distractingly bad.

The real highlight of Replicator is its practical effects. The gore is satisfying, and the film leans into its creature horror elements with a design that evokes that ever-present Lovecraft comparison. Tentacles? Check. Assimilation? Check. An overwhelming sense of cosmic dread? Well… kind of. The atmosphere is bleak, aided by a barren town setting that adds to the film’s eerie tone.

Where this film stumbles is in its writing. There are small narrative threads that seem to appear and disappear without resolution, making the story feel disjointed. At just 75 minutes, there was ample room to expand on the horror and flesh out the mystery, but instead, the film rushes into its finale before fully exploring its most interesting ideas. Mark Andrew Hamer's direction is solid, capturing the film’s unsettling moments effectively, but his script leaves a bit to be desired. Perhaps he should stick behind the camera—or at least make sure to see his ideas through.

That said, while Replicator doesn’t quite reach the heights of The Invasion or in the same ballpark as The Thing, it still delivers a few unique twists on the assimilation horror formula. The creature’s method of replication is a creative touch, even if it isn’t fully explored. It may not be a must-watch, but for fans of practical effects with body horror undertones and small-scale sci-fi, it’s worth a look.

Replicator (2024)

Amazon and a few other streamers have this flick for rent.

https://jackmeat.com/replicator-2024/

The Bayou (2025) | This snappy but toothless creature feature has some well-placed limb removals just don't expect it to have much bite. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.8/10. Ah, The Bayou, where the alligators are pissed, the CGI is questionable, and the characters are so bland they may as well be pre-seasoned for reptilian consumption. This is one of those Lake Placid wannabes that doesn’t completely sink into the swamp, but it definitely gets a little too tangled in the weeds. Our unfortunate group of protagonists—who I could barely distinguish beyond "snarky one," "generic hero," and "soon-to-be-gator-snack"—crash-land in the Louisiana everglades, where they quickly realize the real danger isn’t the lack of cell service, but the amped-up, drug-laced alligators lurking in the waters. The explanation? A police sting gone wrong that left barrels of narcotics spilling into the bayou. It’s not Cocaine Bear, but it definitely smells like they were floating the idea.

The CGI is hit or miss—sometimes the gators look good, sometimes they look like they crawled straight out of a PlayStation 2 cutscene. Thankfully, some real stock gator footage is sprinkled in, which adds a bit of legitimacy (or at least reminds us what an actual alligator looks like). The attack scenes have some bloody fun, with a few well-placed limb removals, but they never reach the tense, nail-biting thrills of Crawl. The real problem? There’s just no one to root for. The alligator was easily the MVP, chewing through the cast with the kind of enthusiasm I wish the script had. The actors do their best with what they’re given, but with characters this dull, their main job is to scream convincingly before getting chomped.

It’s not the worst of its kind—if you’ve seen Lake Placid: Legacy, you know how low the bar can go—but it never quite finds that over-the-top fun that makes these types of movies shine. So, if you're in the mood for some gator carnage and don’t mind a lot of filler between the kills, this flick might be worth wading into. Just don’t expect it to have much bite.

The Bayou (2025)

Amazon along with several other streamers carry this one.

https://jackmeat.com/the-bayou-2025/

Agatha All Along: Season 1 (2024) | A Bewitching, Darkly Comedic Marvel Tale with great performances and smart humor to take you "Down the Witches' Road" #jackmeatstv

My quick rating - 6.6/10. I wasn't really sure what I was getting into but this show delivers a spellbinding follow-up to WandaVision, putting the ever-charismatic Kathryn Hahn back in the spotlight as Agatha Harkness. This time, she finds herself on a mystical journey through the Witches' Road, attempting to reclaim her powers with the help of an unexpected teen ally, played by Joe Locke. The series cleverly balances humor, horror, and heart, creating a darker mystery than its predecessor while staying grounded in its magical premise. Hahn once again shines as Agatha, bringing her signature wit and mischievous charm to the role, while Aubrey Plaza is in peak dry comedic form, adding an edge to the series with her eerie, offbeat presence. The show also packs in clever nods to classic horror and witchcraft lore, making it a treat for fans of supernatural storytelling. While there are chilling moments of genuine terror, the series never loses its sense of fun.

One of the biggest strengths of Agatha All Along is its restraint—Marvel resists the urge to go overboard with visual spectacle, instead focusing on the emotional and mystical aspects of the story. The finale, in particular, swaps the usual MCU bombast for a more heartfelt resolution, prioritizing character over spectacle. However, the show could have explored its coven lore and character dynamics in more depth, which leaves a slight sense of missed opportunity. Still, this was an enjoyable, darkly fun addition to the MCU with great performances, smart humor, and a solid supernatural mystery. While it could have delved deeper into its world-building, it remains a well-crafted and entertaining watch.

And of course, prepare to have the show’s insanely catchy theme song haunt you for weeks.

Agatha All Along: Season 1 (2024)

This one is exclusive to Disney+ right now.

https://jackmeat.com/agatha-all-along-season-1-2024/

Presence (2022) | This horror flick that found its way onto my watchlist may look nice but flounders in ambiguity without enough payoff. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.7/10. This movie sets sail with a premise that at least sparked my interest. Two young business partners, Jennifer (Jenna Lyng Adams) and Samantha (Alexandria DeBerry), are invited on a week-long yacht trip with a potential investor. However, the voyage takes a sinister turn as Jennifer’s dreams start bleeding into reality, bringing an unknown presence aboard. Visually, the film makes solid use of its yacht setting, crafting an eerie and isolated atmosphere. The cinematography is competent, and some of the creepy moments are executed with a nice touch. Unfortunately, that’s about where the positives end. The film struggles with direction, unable to decide whether it wants to be a possession horror, a cult thriller, or something in between. Instead, it flounders in ambiguity, raising too many unanswered questions without the intrigue to back it up.

The writing is weak, leaving the characters hollow, especially Jennifer, who lacks any real backstory to invest in. Dialogue is another major issue—much of it is mumbled, making it difficult to follow, which only adds to the frustration. While the lead actresses being models may have been a selling point, their performances are hindered by the poor script and sound issues. The biggest problem, however, is the pacing. Presence lingers too long without enough payoff, and just when it seems like it might finally pull you in, it abruptly ends, leaving you unsatisfied. Unlike films that successfully leave things open to interpretation, this one just feels incomplete. And at 82 minutes, there was plenty of time to finish up the story.

As a debut feature, director Christian Schultz shows some promise in terms of aesthetics and atmosphere, but the execution falls flat. With so many stronger horror films available, this is one that’s easily skippable. At best, it’s a one-time watch, but even then, there are better ways to spend your time.

Presence (2022)

Amazon along with a few other streamers have this one in case you are still interested.

https://jackmeat.com/presence-2022/

Flight Risk (2025) | This recently featured flick is a by-the-numbers thriller that never truly takes off so unless you are a die-hard Wahlberg fan you may want to pass. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. This movie follows a familiar action-thriller formula, centering on a U.S. Marshal escorting a government witness while dealing with a hitman pilot and a string of assassination attempts. While the premise suggests potential for tension and high-stakes action, the execution leaves much to be desired. The film lacks the suspense needed to keep audiences on edge, relying instead on tired clichés, including the ever-present "we have to land the plane without the pilot" scenario. The script plays it safe, never injecting enough depth or unpredictability to make the film stand out in an already crowded genre.

Mark Wahlberg does his best to carry the film, and without his presence, Flight Risk would have been a complete dud. Michelle Dockery as the air marshal delivers a serviceable performance, but there's little she can do to elevate the bland material. Mel Gibson’s direction fails to add any real flair or intensity, making the action feel routine rather than gripping. The one redeeming factor? The scenery. The snowy mountains provide some visual appeal, but if I wanted to soak in those views, I’d just watch one of the many Warren Miller ski films I already own.

Flight Risk (2025)

Overall, this is a by-the-numbers thriller that never truly takes off. If you’re a die-hard Wahlberg fan, you might find some enjoyment, but for everyone else, there are far better action films to spend your time on.

Amazon along with a myriad of other streamers have this one right now.

https://jackmeat.com/flight-risk-2025/