My quick rating - 2.2/10. The moment that Immortal Combat started, I knew I had just accidentally punished myself. However, it did not become apparent to me how far off track it is until the battle scene set in France in 1429. This is where Joan of Arc (Eve Fournier) is seen in the middle of a war in Orleans, just seconds before being shot by an arrow, when she is suddenly transported to the future as if something went wrong in the History Channel boardroom.
This latest pile of mockbuster trash comes courtesy of The Asylum, which would've been the only warning I needed. Somehow, this one slipped past my defenses before I hit play. But my inability to hit "stop" after that is my own damn fault. The greatest fighters in history, like Attila the Hun (Sasha Di Capri) and Joan of Arc, have been pulled from their own times and placed in a life-and-death fight to the death under the guidance of a mysterious organization headed by Aria (Dominique Swain). Of course, it is just like its title implies. It’s a terrible knock-off of Mortal Kombat 2.
I mean, I grew up happily feeding quarters into Mortal Kombat arcade machines, so I’ll admit the idea had just enough shamelessness to keep me curious. Historical warriors in a futuristic death match? Sure, why not? But Immortal Combat takes that mildly entertaining concept and destroys it every chance it gets. One of the earliest gems is the explanation that everyone can suddenly speak English thanks to a “language interface” implant. And delivered with such straight-faced seriousness that I almost had to admire the audacity. Almost.
The fight scenes are, frankly, horrendous. These aren’t battles so much as awkwardly staged shoving matches with the occasional slow, telegraphed punch. Every time the movie tries to build momentum, it trips. Characters die and then are somehow brought back through some vague, never properly explained method that seems less like plot and more like the writers refusing to let 'em die. The effects are “special” in the most charitable way. I say AI can do better. and the acting ranges from wooden to accidentally hilarious.
Still, I have to give it this. For an Asylum production, it is somehow not the worst piece of cinematic trash I have sat through. That might be the nicest thing I can say. Even the mid-credits sequel tease feels like the film itself shrugging and saying, “Sure, why not another one?” Maybe their next incarnation can upgrade the AI model they were using here.
The real tragedy here is that I made the mistake of watching it, so you do not have to. Learn from my suffering. Immortal Combat is the kind of movie that makes you appreciate bad movies that are at least entertainingly bad. This one mostly had me checking the time remaining.
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