Scream 7 (2026) | It’s slashy, it’s nostalgic, and the killer reveal hits with all the impact of a lukewarm microwave burrito. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. Scream 7 kicks off exactly the way every Scream movie since the Clinton administration has begun. Someone picks up a phone and soon regrets picking up the phone. At this point, the franchise could open with a cooking montage, and we’d all still be waiting for the knife to enter frame like it’s a contractual obligation. But hey, the good news? Once that familiar Scream 7 title card slashes across the screen, Neve Campbell shows up. Yes, returns. As in, she’s finally back, playing Sidney Prescott again, and immediately giving the movie a boost it desperately clings to. She’s living her best suburban life with Mark, played by Joel McHale, which is either perfect casting or a cosmic prank, and their daughter Tatum (Isabel May) completes the Evans household. Cute family, shame one of them instantly becomes Ghostface’s new hobby.

Kevin Williamson returning to direct was one of those decisions that made fans whisper, “Okay, we might actually be cooking again.” In a way, he does bring Scream 7 closer to the vibe of the early entries, though he also looks like someone who rewatched the classic trilogy and said, “Ah yes, nostalgia. Let’s dump the entire bucket in.” Strangely, despite the franchise’s rep for meta humor, this one plays like a straight-up slasher. It sprints out of the gate, throws the killer on-screen almost immediately, and dares us to question whether we should trust our own eyes. Or did we just get pranked by someone who spent too long on Reddit conspiracy boards? Hard to say.

The opening sequence? Easily one of the best in years. Big, bold, bloody, and genuinely gripping. But once the movie starts racking up bodies like it’s trying to beat its own high score, the pacing gets wobbly. There’s a difference between suspense and “Wait, who died? Was that the barista from earlier?” And then we reach the Ghostface reveal, which lands somewhere between a shrug and an accidental spoiler in a YouTube comment. It’s less “OMG!” and more “Wait…who?”

Still, Neve Campbell remains the beating heart. Time has treated her so well that she could headline Scream 14 and still be the definitive final girl without breaking a sweat. She carries Scream 7 through its weaker spots, proving the series really does work best when she’s the one on the hitlist. It may not be at the level of the original Scream, but Campbell immediately makes this sequel better.

There’s nothing groundbreaking here. No reinvention, no surprising twists, no fresh angle. But fans of the original run will find enough nostalgia, familiar faces, and callbacks (Courteney Cox, Matthew Lillard, Laurie Metcalf, to name a few) to keep the ride fun. And yes, AI finally gets dragged into the plot, though in the most predictable, “Yep, that tracks” way possible. If you expected Skynet, you’ll be disappointed. If you expected something you’ve seen in five Black Mirror episodes already, congratulations.

Scream 7 (2026)

Scream 7 may not carve a new path, but it slices through 2 hours with enough style, legacy, and Neve-power to make it worth the watch. Especially for those of us who keep showing up for Ghostface like we never learn. And since this was clearly a long sequel setup for the future of Isabel May, I'll be in line.

https://jackmeat.com/scream-7-2026/

Wanted Man (2024) | A serviceable action thriller that benefits from its star power but ultimately falls short of its potential. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.6/10. I’m apparently forever a sucker for a Dolph Lundgren vehicle, because Wanted Man had me pressing play with the same optimism I reserve for late-night tacos and B-tier action flicks. Add Kelsey Grammer into the mix, and suddenly my weekly Frasier watches are bleeding into cartel shootouts. Honestly, a crossover I didn’t know I needed.

The setup in Wanted Man is as familiar as Dolph’s signature stoic glare. Lundgren plays Nick, a police officer with the personality range of granite but the charm of, well…Dolph Lundgren. When he's tasked with retrieving Rosa (Christina Villa), the sole eyewitness to a DEA massacre, things go sideways fast. The cartel’s involved, bodies drop, and somewhere along the road trip of doom, Nick discovers that the real villains might not be wearing the expected uniforms. Shocking, I know. Corrupt American forces? In a 2024 action thriller? Groundbreaking.

Dolph is exactly what I ordered. Tough, square-jawed, and carrying the depth of a man contemplating whether to add more protein powder to his diet. And it works. The man understands his lane and speeds through it with hazard lights off. Grammer, meanwhile, pops in to remind us he can class up literally anything. Crime scenes, interrogation rooms, possibly even a gas station microwave burrito. His screen time is limited, but always nice to see Frasier Crane wander into an action film and decide to stay.

The supporting cast in Wanted Man is…present. Christina Villa does what she can with a character written somewhere between “traumatized witness” and “generic plot courier.” There’s potential there, but the script gives her about as much depth as a puddle in the desert. The antagonists, meanwhile, are so one-dimensional that they may as well have worn shirts reading “Bad Guy #3.”

Because yes, Lundgren not only stars. He also directs and co-writes. And while the man can snap limbs on screen like breadsticks, Wanted Man doesn’t exactly reinvent the genre. The action is competent, sometimes even crisp, but rarely thrilling. Kind of like watching someone who knows all the choreography but doesn't do anything with the punches. And the pacing also stumbles. I felt it grab my attention just long enough for the script to wander back to a cliché, like it’s revisiting an old friend.

The central twist? Let’s just say if you don’t pick up on it early, you might be watching this movie with your eyes closed. It lands fine, it just doesn’t surprise.

Wanted Man (2024)

All that said, Wanted Man is polished enough to keep your attention. Especially if you’re a Lundgren loyalist or a Grammer nostalgist. The cinematography looks sharp, the standoffs are decent, and it runs smoothly as a background watch. However, do not go in with high expectations. You have seen this film before, and you have seen it done much better.

https://jackmeat.com/wanted-man-2024/

Refuge (2026) | Refuge asks, “How far would you go for your kid?” Apparently, it's kidnap your friends and interrogate them like it’s a Temu "Saw". #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Here is what would happen if four grown men went on a “bonding” fishing trip and immediately remembered they don’t actually like one another. Refuge demonstrates it with 87 minutes of yelling, pleading, and one increasingly desperate dad holding a gun like it’s the only thing keeping his sanity taped together. The film kicks off with a frantic 70s–80s thriller energy. A father calling the police about his missing daughter, voice shaking, tension already thick enough to filet. It’s a good start, and for a moment, I thought we might actually get a calm buildup before the blowup. Spoiler: absolutely not.

We meet Sam, played by Adam Sinclair, arriving first at the cabin to prep for what he claims is a fishing trip, but is very obviously an interrogation/emotional demolition derby. He’s got a gun, an attitude, and zero interest in discussing bait. When Jay (Christopher Dietrick), Mike (Adam Dorsey), and Barry (Donald Paul) show up, it becomes instantly clear why these four fell out of touch. They don’t act like old friends reconnecting. They act like coworkers forced into a weekend retreat after an HR complaint. Refuge doesn’t even pretend they enjoy each other. They walk in mid-argument and somehow never stop.

Once Sam flips the script and accuses one of them of being involved in his daughter’s disappearance, the cabin transforms into a pressure cooker of constant shouting and desperate self-defense. I’ll be honest - after about twenty minutes of these guys whining, screaming, and contradicting each other, I started to understand why Sam brought the gun. If I were stuck in a cabin with this group, someone would’ve been tossed into the lake long before accusations started flying.

The acting, thankfully, saves Refuge from collapsing into pure noise. Every performance feels fairly believable, which helps maintain the mystery even when the pacing stretches scenes like taffy to hit that feature-length runtime. And with the entire film taking place inside the same cabin, there isn’t much visual flair to lean on, so the cast really does most of the heavy lifting. It also taps into that dad-brain fear. “How far would you go for your kid?” Apparently, the answer here is “invite your annoying friends to the woods and scream at them for hours.”

Refuge (2026)

What baffled me was the ending, specifically the crew walking away from the cabin as if both trucks didn’t mysteriously vanish during all the chaos. Did the bickering disable the engines? Did the cabin eat them? Someone forgot the keys and just decided hiking was easier? Refuge won’t win awards for plot density, but as a low-budget, well-intentioned thriller, it works. It’s simple, tense, and at times, ridiculous. Still enjoyable enough for what it is, even if I was constantly thinking, “Yeah…I’d have killed these three guys just for my own sanity.”

https://jackmeat.com/refuge-2026/

Operation Taco Gary's (2026) | This flick tries so hard to be funny, it probably pulled something, but mostly I laughed at myself for watching it sober. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Operation Taco Gary’s is a movie that proudly walks into a room wearing a tinfoil hat, then acts offended when you ask why. It follows Danny, played by Simon Rex, doing his usual sun-fried conspiracy-theorist energy, and Luke (Dustin Milligan), the brother who clearly regrets every shared chromosome. Their cross-country road trip somehow involves Taco Gary’s, a fast-food chain so unassuming it might as well have “definitely not alien HQ” printed on the sign. Naturally, this is the one place on Earth hosting an extraterrestrial takeover plot, because nothing says “universal domination” like discount tacos and fluorescent lighting.

The early stretch of Operation Taco Gary’s actually works in a goofy, shrug-and-go-with-it kind of way. Rex and Milligan bounce off each other nicely, especially once Luke realizes Danny was right about everything. Every conspiracy, every theory, every late-night rant. You can practically feel Luke’s spirit trying to escape his body. And yet, the movie doesn’t know when to quit a joke. The ankle-twisting gag goes on so long it starts to feel like the film itself slipped on a sidewalk and couldn’t get back up. The “I wasn’t completely honest with you” line is dragged behind the truck, over gravel, through hedges, then revisited just in case we didn’t groan hard enough the first three times.

Then we meet Klyle. Yes, spelled like a license plate glitch. Played by Tony Cavalero, doing what appears to be an impression of his DMV character from…well, everything I have seen him in. It’s the same energy, the same voice, the same vibe, just relocated to a plot about aliens hiding in a taco joint. And you know what? It somehow fits. Brenda Song pops in as a Canadian badger girl named Allison (because of course she is), and she’s genuinely cute and charming, though half the script seems unsure what to actually do with her. She looks familiar because I just recently finished the video game The Quarry, where she played Kaitlyn. But the movie never gives her more than “quirky wilderness girl who knows things” to work with. Then again, she kind of played the same person in the game. Hmmm.

By the time Jason Biggs shows up, Operation Taco Gary’s loses whatever comedic momentum it had managed to build. Nothing against Biggs, but calling him a billionaire elite surviving the apocalypse is a joke meant for someone who was probably standing just off camera laughing at their own inside reference. The humor becomes increasingly niche, increasingly self-indulgent, and increasingly unfunny. Mikey K - writer, director, and possibly Biggs’ best friend at summer camp - never quite pulls the film out of its YouTube-sketch-with-a-budget vibe.

Operation Taco Gary's (2026)

Operation Taco Gary’s has a couple of amusing alien gags and a handful of moments that almost work, but most of it feels like a parody that overshoots every target. You might chuckle here and there, but you’ll probably walk away as I did. Mostly disappointed and wishing the jokes had been as sharp as Danny’s conspiracy theories.

https://jackmeat.com/operation-taco-garys-2026/

The Mortuary Assistant (2026) | If you like your horror dimly lit, claustrophobic, and slightly confused, The Mortuary Assistant has your embalming table ready. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. If you ever wanted to spend 91 minutes trapped inside a humid little mortuary where the lighting is 90% “flickering fluorescent hellscape” and the other 10% “someone forgot to pay the bill,” then The Mortuary Assistant is happy to embalm that dream for you. I played the game back in the day. Well, tried to finish it before a bug halted my progress into the abyss, and walking into the movie felt like stepping right back into River Fields Mortuary. The office? Perfect. The embalming room? Spot on. Those narrow hallways that make you feel like something is breathing on your neck even when you're alone? Chef’s kiss. Set decorator Grace Taylor Haun deserves a raise, or maybe just a stern “never do this to us again,” because it works a little too well.

Rebecca Owens, played by Willa Holland, shows up for her first night shift like she's taking on a normal job instead of starring in The Mortuary Assistant, where demons treat OSHA guidelines like suggestions. She’s greeted by Raymond Delver, portrayed with intentional dryness by Paul Sparks. Seriously, the man delivers lines like he's legally required to use only half his vocal range. Early on, Rebecca heads to the basement for supplies, only to get told, “There is NO reason to be down there.” All I heard was "There are seventeen reasons not to go down there, and all of them will kill you." And since I already spotted something lurking at the bottom of the stairs, you know we’ll be punching that ticket eventually.

Atmosphere is the MVP here, and The Mortuary Assistant heavily relies on what made the game unsettling. Bodies look just wrong enough to make you question whether they’re dead, alive, or simply on break. The demons look great, too. Practical makeup, eerie silhouettes, and none of that “AI-generated CGI ghoul #47” nonsense we’ve been force-fed lately. While the film does a good job building tension…until the constant use of flashbacks kicks the door in and releases it like a demon from a Tupperware container, never to be seen again, chopping the pacing to bits and occasionally making it hard to follow.

Holland does a solid job carrying the film with believable reactions. Equal parts “professional mortuary worker” and “why did I agree to this shift again?” Sparks, while dry, hits the secretive weirdo boss energy perfectly. The cinematography and lighting keep things atmospheric, eerie, and appropriately suffocating. But despite strong pieces scattered throughout, The Mortuary Assistant never fully assembles them into something unforgettable. As a game adaptation, it’s faithful enough to avoid embarrassment. As a standalone horror movie? It’s average, entertaining enough for one night, and likely to fade from memory faster than the sun rises after Rebecca’s shift.

The Mortuary Assistant (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/the-mortuary-assistant-2026/

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) | With a trip to the Mario Galaxy coming April 1st, I thought a revisit with this fun family-friendly flick was due. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.7/10. I figured that The Super Mario Bros. Movie would be one of those adaptations that is either completely full of nostalgia magic or a complete flaming blue shell disaster. It is surprising to me, however, that it did not induce me to throw my remote control (or, for the gamers in the room, the controller) at the wall, yet it is a fun ride through the Mushroom Kingdom. It starts off with the usual Brooklyn fare, with Mario and Luigi being two plumbers trying to pay the bills and maybe unclog a pipe or two without being roasted on social media. Of course, they get sucked into the magical realm because, let’s be honest, plumbing is a pretty dangerous job.

Once the brothers fall down the pipe (you know the one), The Super Mario Bros. Movie shifts into an energetic, colorful sprint as Mario and Luigi get separated. A classic move, but it works because Chris Pratt and Charlie Day bring an unexpected bond to their brotherly chaos. Their chemistry sells the entire backbone of the film. Even the early backlash over Pratt’s casting fades fast as he settles into Mario’s overalls surprisingly well. Charlie Day’s Luigi, meanwhile, is so perfectly anxious he could probably power a whole Luigi’s Mansion game just with his nerves.

The supporting cast is a riot, especially Anya Taylor-Joy’s Princess Peach, who is way more capable than any 80s cartridge ever allowed, and Keegan-Michael Key’s Toad, who steals scenes like he’s competing in a speedrun. And yes, Bowser is here. And yes, Jack Black sings. But hot take? Bowser didn’t fully steal the show for me. Maybe that’s blasphemy, but for a character whose boss battles can ruin childhood friendships, he felt a little too soft around the edges this time.

Visually, The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a power-up in itself. The vibrant animation brings every corner of the Mushroom Kingdom to life, from the soaring platforms to the familiar enemies to the “I definitely died here as a kid” landscapes. The directing trio - Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Pierre Leduc - pack in easter eggs with the precision of someone who’s memorized every warp zone. It’s delightful for us gamers, though if you’re sitting next to a hardcore Nintendo fan, prepare for an elbow in the ribs every 30 seconds as they whisper, “THAT’S FROM MARIO 3.”

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

Sure, there are some pacing issues here and there, and some of the jokes fall flatter than a failed triple jump attempt, but nothing here keeps The Super Mario Bros. Movie from being a fun time. It’s a film that has a little something for all, whether you’ve been a Mario fan since the days of NES or you just want a fun, lighthearted film for movie night. All in all, it’s a charming, colorful film that’s fun for families and proves that video game movies don't need to be dropped in a random cartridge landfill.

https://jackmeat.com/the-super-mario-bros-movie-2023/

Pretty Lethal (2026) | Pretty Lethal convinced me ballerinas are the deadliest athletes alive. Forget MMA, try surviving a pissed-off dance troupe. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. Pretty Lethal walks in wearing pointe shoes and immediately kicks you in the face. Gracefully, of course. The movie opens with a sincere little monologue about the brutal, soul-melting reality of being a ballerina, which might trick you into thinking this is some A24 trauma ballet. Then the opening practice scene hits, and the dancers are throwing hands like they're auditioning for Black Swan: Fight Club Edition. It’s the kind of tonal whiplash I live for on my movie reviews page, because Pretty Lethal clearly knows exactly what it is. A dark comedy–action–horror hybrid that refuses to apologize for any of its choices.

Our five drenched dancers - Bones (Maddie Ziegler), Princess (Lana Condor), Grace (Avantika), Chloe (Millicent Simmonds), and Zoe (Iris Apatow) - wander into a mysterious inn after their bus breaks down, because nothing says “good life decisions” like instantly agreeing to change into tutus in a stranger’s house. But hey, there’s a stage! You’re already in dancewear! Why not loosen up those hamstrings while a guy upstairs is being branded on the tongue? The film doesn’t bother with believability. It leaps straight into chaos like a grand jete performed off a balcony.

At the 18-minute mark, after someone’s brains hit the floor with the elegance of glitter scattering on marley, we finally get the title card for Pretty Lethal, and it feels earned. These girls don’t actually know how to fight, which makes the violence feel hilariously scrappy and weirdly satisfying. Ballet training becomes a weapon. Bruised toes and taped joints turn into improvised survival tools. It’s like watching Van Damme with better extension and more eyeliner.

The choreography really is the secret sauce here. Pretty Lethal blends classical movements with combat in a way that feels fresh instead of gimmicky. A hiding sequence built entirely on dancer flexibility? An entire ensemble routine used to beat the hell out of a small army? Yes, thank you, more of that. And Bones delivers the line of the movie with absolute deadpan perfection after one girl gets drugged: “What kind of a ballerina doesn’t know how to throw up?” It should be on a T-shirt.

Uma Thurman glides through her limited screentime like a sinister casting director who wandered in from a different, classier film but decided to stay because the carnage looked fun. Pretty Lethal never tries to be deep. It prefers being violent, silly, self-aware, and stylish. It flirts with horror, winks at its own absurdity, and pirouettes straight through logic into the land of guilty-pleasure gold.

Is it high art? No. Did I enjoy watching ballerinas stage-combat a mob of henchmen like they’re auditioning for Swan Lake: The Apocalypse? Absolutely. This is the kind of ridiculous genre mashup I’ll happily add to the watchlist for anyone who loves action served with bruises, blood, and a perfectly pointed toe.

Pretty Lethal (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/pretty-lethal-2026/

Do Not Enter (2026) | Influencers sneak into an abandoned hotel, unaware the supernatural tenant already hit “subscribe” on their suffering. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. If sneaking into places is your thing, you may have thought, “Hey, maybe a nice abandoned hotel crawl would be fun.” Do Not Enter is here to smack that idea right out of your head, and probably fling a rat or two at you while it’s at it. The movie opens with a terrified blond woman crawling across a filthy floor, which is exactly the kind of Airbnb experience you never want to book. She looks up at something terrifying, we don’t get to see it, and boom. Credits. A bold move that basically says, “Don’t worry, you’ll be confused for at least 30 more minutes.”

Those credits walk us through the Paragon Hotel’s sketchy Vegas property history, and a headline screaming Lansky’s Missing Millions, which Do Not Enter wants you to know is based on David Morrell’s Creepers. Then we meet Diane (Adeline Rudolph), hosting her webshow Creepers - yes, same name - and rallying her “young explorers,” who immediately start acting like the world’s worst group project partners. It’s not even ten minutes (including credits!) before someone tries to steal a chunk of “priceless” wall, and honestly, that’s the most relatable archaeology we’ve seen since The Mummy.

When the wall-heist episode tanks in views, less than “insert your favorite flop joke here,” the gang pivots to hunting Meyer Lansky’s secret millions at the Paragon. The hotel sits in a version of Atlantic City that looks like it’s been through at least three apocalypses and a construction union strike. The rat swarm alone is enough to cancel any future sewer tourism.

To the film’s credit, director Marc Klasfeld and cinematographer Yon Thomas make the interior of the Paragon look wonderfully eerie. And shockingly, the cast isn’t a collection of walking irritations. Cora (Francesca Reale) ends up the most intriguing, while Frank Balenger (Laurence O'Fuarain) shows up searching for his missing reporter wife, Amanda (Svilena Nikolova). His quest is noble, though perhaps reconsidered when the group finds a literal tree full of hanging phones and cameras. I mean, how many red flags does one team need?

Then they find Diane’s missing phone and decide they don’t have time to call the cops because they have to look for her. As if multitasking were outlawed. Meanwhile, a rival gang of scavenger-influencer-morons led by Tod (Nicholas Hamilton) shows up, and their only real purpose seems to be more snacks for whatever creature claims hotel residency.

Beth (Cat Shank, love that name) appears from a closet, Rick (Jake Manley) makes a comeback that prompts a full “HOW?!” from me, and the supernatural threat finally takes shape. A CGI meme monster that looks fantastic in one shot, suspiciously PS2-ish the next, poorly superimposed onto the scene. And because Do Not Enter can’t resist, it closes with an ending that plays it way too safe, proving Hollywood still fears the radical concept of letting horror characters actually die.

Do Not Enter (2026)

The journey is entertaining, messy, occasionally stupid, and absolutely watchable…but that ending, man. It really needed to undergo a rewrite.

https://jackmeat.com/do-not-enter-2026/

Mexicali (2026) | The movie starts strong, then trips into “why is this happening” territory, but at least the fights never get boring. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. I say this all the time, but Mexicali wastes absolutely zero time letting you know exactly what kind of underground-fighting-meets-cartel ride this flick will be. The movie opens with a guy puffing his chest so hard you'd think oxygen was optional, declaring to the resident “boss-looking dude” that he doesn’t lose. The reply? A motivational speech for the ages: “You better win, or nobody eats.” Yes, the universal language of hunger as a character motivation.

Then comes the name that made me sit up. Kris Van Damme, trying to kick his way out of Dad’s cinematic shadow. Respect. Meanwhile, Joe (Bren Foster) steps into Mexicali with a string of surprisingly clean, well-choreographed fights. The variety in styles is actually impressive, like someone spliced a UFC highlight reel into a cartel movie and said, “yeah, that'll work.”

But Mexicali quickly reveals itself as another “you picked the wrong dude to mess with” action flick. And honestly, Joe and his fiancée Estrella (Tania Raymonde) must have thought they wandered into a horror film, because what better time to split up than right when the road ahead looks like it's paved with armed men and bad decisions? Truly, romance thrives under pressure. Except here, where it just walks away in confusion.

Then there’s the one-at-a-time fight scene. In 2026. Bold choice. Luke LaFontaine, sir, we left that trope in a dusty warehouse back in 1990, but thank you for resurrecting it for absolutely no reason. He also tosses in a training montage where Joe teaches Estrella knife-fighting techniques. Totally unnecessary…right up until it becomes obvious foreshadowing. Still silly, though. The only thing sillier is Joe’s “please, higher powers, make this go away, and I’ll be good forever” moment that feels ripped from someone swearing off tequila after a bad night.

And then we reach the pit fights…again. I genuinely don’t know what the logic was here. A scheduling conflict? A deleted subplot? Someone lost a bet? Hard to say.

The final act of Mexicali is where physics, tactics, and self-preservation all go on extended vacation. I have never seen people on the wrong side of an entire armed unit stand directly in front of giant windows for so long. And despite a small nation’s worth of firepower surrounding them, Joe still ends up in a machete duel with the one guy who apparently didn’t get issued a gun. At least the movie avoids the dreaded “hero shows mercy” cliché. Joe is strictly “no survivors, no sequels.”

Estrella’s earlier knife lesson apparently came with DLC upgrades, because she suddenly knows how to operate every weapon the cartel has ever touched. She goes from “wait, why are we breaking up?” to “I have mastered all forms of artillery” in record time.

The final showdown is entertaining if you don’t mind the kind of unbelievable survivability normally reserved for video game protagonists. Come for the fights, because Mexicali as a whole won’t raise the bar, but it’ll swing enough fists, knives, and machetes to keep you watching.

Mexicali (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/mexicali-2026/

Mamochka (2026) | Mamochka is what happens when your dead mom leaves you a Nazi doll & your husband immediately speedruns a mental breakdown. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Let's all find out what happens when a grieving family brings home a creepy Nazi-era heirloom doll. Because nothing says closure like fascist porcelain, and Mamochka is here to supply that very oddly specific horror niche. Right from the opening credits, the movie fires up some genuinely fun 80s-style synth that instantly screams, “Yes, you are absolutely correct, something terrible is about to happen.” Meanwhile, some random kid is frolicking in a cemetery because childhood memories are overrated, and trauma builds character.

When the family returns from Jane’s mother’s funeral, they lug home the titular Mamochka doll, and suburban dad Mark (Alexander Kollar) immediately begins spiraling faster than your Wi-Fi connection during a storm. His nightmares come in hot, featuring imagery that feels like the director grabbed inspiration from a grab bag labeled “Why?” The acting around him lands mostly in the realm of “inoffensively bland,” like everyone’s just slightly too aware of where Craft Services is parked.

Then Mamochka dips into a Groundhog Day-style loop, but luckily, it doesn’t overuse the gimmick. The repetition is just enough for Mark to start doubting his grip on reality without making us stare at the screen as if we’ve accidentally rewound it. Pair that with his late-night Nazi doll research rabbit hole, and it’s especially hilarious when he casually suggests his wife, Jane, might need therapy. Mark, buddy…read the room.

Jane (Maya Murphy), meanwhile, spends most of the movie sounding like she’s auditioning with cue cards, but then she suddenly flips the emotional switch and unleashes some full-throttle “I’ve had enough of this doll nonsense” energy late in the film. It’s kind of refreshing. Wish we got that Jane sooner.

And then there’s the delivery driver (Dino Castelli), who shows up acting like he wandered in from a neighbor's house. Is he a messenger? A ghost? A guy with a very intense side hustle? No clue. The script refuses to elaborate, and somehow that makes him more entertaining.

Stanley Trub as young Brian absolutely holds it down, though. The kid is the standout, and you can tell he actually came here to act.

Where Mamochka really delivers is in how much atmosphere it squeezes out of its lean budget. The film smartly mixes familiar horror ingredients and pulls off several genuinely creepy beats. It’s just the follow-through that wobbles. The ending doesn’t quite land, doesn’t quite connect the thematic dots, and even dangles a sequel tease nobody asked for, but you know damn well I will watch.

Mamochka (2026)

Still, the potential behind the camera is unmistakable. This director has ideas. Good ones. And once they get the resources to back them up, we’re in for something special. I’ll definitely be watching what comes next…even if that doll can stay far, far away from my house.

Thanks to writer/director Vilan Trub for sending this one over for an early look.

https://jackmeat.com/mamochka-2026/

Send Help (2026) | Sam Raimi returns to horror-comedy form with a bloody corporate meltdown on a beach. Need I say more? #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.0/10. I thought Send Help was Sam Raimi, reminding everyone that he can still juggle horror & comedy like a chainsaw and a boomstick. And this time, he’s brought Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien along for the fun. Kinda like tossing two mismatched coworkers into a blender and hitting chop. The setup is delightfully simple. Linda Liddle (McAdams), a prickly mastermind from strategy and planning, and Bradley (O’Brien), the sentient embodiment of a smug LinkedIn post, become the only survivors of a plane crash and wash up on a deserted island. A Boeing recall joke practically writes itself, and Raimi does not miss the opportunity.

Before the island shenanigans, Send Help gives us a quick, efficient introduction to Linda’s office life or, more accurately, office war zone. She’s treated like the oddball gremlin the “boy’s club” doesn’t want but absolutely needs if they want their Q3 numbers to make any sense. McAdams plays Linda with a perfect balance of jagged awkwardness and controlled bite. There’s no attempt to make her soft or instantly lovable, which is exactly why she works so well. You root for her because she’s complicated, unpredictable, and boldly not here to be relatable.

Bradley, on the other hand, is played to pure, weaponized arrogance by Dylan O’Brien. He’s the kind of boss who says “circle back” unironically and considers himself a thought leader because he read half a productivity book. His smarmy presence becomes instantly hateable in the best way. O’Brien commits so fully that you can practically smell the overpriced cologne through the screen.

Once the disaster hits (with more blood than I expected for a corporate team-building trip gone wrong), Send Help becomes the Raimi playground I didn’t know I needed in 2026. Limbs, screams, slapstick Misery (yes, it feels a bit like that classic). You know, the Raimi essentials. Beautiful Australian landscapes fill in the background, which I only learned from the credits, but makes total sense. The place looks like Mother Nature’s desktop wallpaper pack.

The island dynamic between McAdams and O’Brien is where the movie hits gold. They bicker, scheme, plot, sabotage, and somehow still manage to help each other when it counts…or when the alternative is being eaten alive by whatever Raimi cooked up off-screen. Their chemistry is sharp, petty, and wickedly funny, escalating from verbal jabs to physical chaos that would get both of them fired from any HR department with a pulse. And it is glorious. You'll see (that will make more sense after watching.)

Raimi also sprinkles in clever class commentary throughout the movie, poking at corporate hierarchy nonsense without ever slowing down the momentum. Longtime fans will appreciate the Easter eggs, too. I actually caught the Bruce Campbell painting in Bradley’s office, but I had to go back to confirm whether the classic 1973 Oldsmobile was hiding somewhere. Sure enough, it’s tucked into the frame during Linda’s self-help car monologue around the 15-minute mark. Never change, Sam.

Send Help sticks the landing with one of the most satisfying endings Raimi has delivered in years. It’s messy, funny, bloody, and sincere. And somehow all at the same time. Most importantly, it fully embraces Raimi’s horror-comedy roots while giving McAdams and O’Brien some of the most entertaining roles they’ve had in a long time.

Send Help (2026)

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Raimi back in form. Do I wish it had gone a bit further? Sure, but if this is the start of a new streak from him, I say - "Please, Sam…don’t send help. Just send me more movies like this."

https://jackmeat.com/send-help-2026/

First Blood (1982) | Small town cops pick a fight with a war-trained drifter and act surprised when it goes horribly wrong for them. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 8.0/10.  If your only exposure to the Rambo name comes from exploding helicopters, infinite ammo, and enough body counts to make your old high school reviews proud. First Blood is here to politely (and then aggressively) correct you.

Revisiting this one, especially in that slick 4K “Ultimate Uncut” form, I quickly realized this isn’t the bandana-wearing action meme people remember. This is a tense, grounded thriller that just happens to feature Sylvester Stallone looking like he could dismantle a small army with a pocket knife and some unresolved trauma.

The setup is deceptively simple. John Rambo rolls into town, just trying to exist, and immediately gets on the wrong side of small-town authority. Enter Brian Dennehy as the cop who wakes up and chooses hostility. He plays it so well that you’re not just rooting against him. You’re actively waiting for karma to arrive like a freight train. Spoiler: it does, and it’s wearing a green jacket.

What really stands out is how quiet this movie is. Stallone barely speaks, but his performance carries weight through pure expression. You can see the pain, the restraint, and the ticking clock before things inevitably go sideways. And when they do? It’s less “rah-rah action hero” and more “oh no…they really shouldn’t have pushed this guy.”

There’s also something oddly funny, intentionally or not, about how casual the cops are early on. They’re cracking jokes, strolling through the woods like it’s a Sunday picnic, completely unaware they’ve just activated hardcore survival mode. That legendary line - “We ain’t hunting him, he’s hunting us” hits like a tonal slap to the face, and it comes in early. From that point on, it’s less a chase and more a slow realization of just how badly they’ve miscalculated.

Director Ted Kotcheff deserves a ton of credit for keeping things practical. There’s minimal gunfire, barely any explosions, and yet the tension is constantly tightening. When action does happen, it feels raw and earned. And no CGI safety nets. When vehicles go crashing down hills, that’s real metal, real gravity, and probably a real insurance headache.

Visually, the Pacific Northwest setting (standing in via British Columbia) adds a ton to the atmosphere. Foggy forests, wet terrain, and rugged mountains make it feel isolated and dangerous. It’s the kind of environment where you absolutely do not want to be hunted by someone who knows what they’re doing, which, unfortunately for everyone involved, Rambo very much does.

Watching it now, it also hits differently thematically. The treatment of Vietnam veterans, the media spin during the manhunt, it all feels uncomfortably relevant. Turns out “fake news” didn’t just spawn with social media - it’s been lurking around long before hashtags were a thing.

After a couple of decades away, nothing about this revisit felt drastically different, but the appreciation definitely hits harder. I am not sure what the Uncut part added. First Blood isn’t just the origin of a franchise - it’s the one entry that actually slows down, breathes, and reminds you there’s a human being behind the legend.

And that makes it way more dangerous than the sequels ever were.

First Blood (1982)

https://jackmeat.com/first-blood-1982/

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025) | The church angle sounds juicy, but drags like a Sunday sermon. The mystery works, I just stopped caring who did it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.9/10. There’s something oddly comforting about returning to a Knives Out Mystery, like being handed a beautifully wrapped puzzle box and immediately shaking it to see what falls loose. This time, though, Wake Up Dead Man is still polished and expensive-looking, but a few of the pieces feel like they wandered in from a much less interesting game.

The setup wastes no time being…I'd call it memorable. We meet young priest Jud Duplenticy, played by Josh O'Connor, by way of him decking another priest because nothing says “man of God” like opening with a right hook. He’s then shipped off to assist Monsignor Jefferson Wicks, a charismatic, slightly unhinged figure brought to life by Josh Brolin, who delivers a masturbation confession that goes on so long you start wondering if the real crime is how much screen time it eats up.

From there, the film assembles its usual “everyone’s a suspect” lineup… except this time, they kind of aren’t. You’ve got heavy hitters like Glenn Close, Kerry Washington, Jeremy Renner, and Andrew Scott. But they don't pop off the screen with their eccentricity. They mostly blend into the wallpaper. It’s a strange pivot for a franchise that's thrived on wildly different personalities bouncing off each other like verbal pinballs. I mean, how do you waste Thomas Haden Church with so little to say?

Thankfully, when Benoit Blanc finally shows up, once again played with delightful Southern-fried precision by Daniel Craig, the movie gets a much-needed jolt of life. The problem? There’s just not enough of him sleuthing. It’s like ordering your favorite meal and getting a sample instead of the full plate.

The mystery itself is dense and admittedly compelling. It does the heavy lifting because, frankly, not much else does. But where previous entries unraveled their secrets piece by piece, letting us feel clever along the way, this one leans hard into a lengthy, almost lecture-like explanation at the end. It’s less “aha!” and more “oh…okay, I guess.”

Visually speaking, the film is a knockout. The production design is gorgeous, with every frame looking like it was plucked from a gallery. It’s a shame that the conversations taking place in these spaces drag on forever without much payoff – they’re like sermons you politely sit through while checking the time.

Another missed opportunity is the film’s exploration of spirituality. Aside from one preachy conversation late in the game, the religious themes mostly sit in the background, occasionally clearing their throat but never really saying anything meaningful.

Humor-wise, you can feel the film trying. Sometimes really trying to recapture that sharp, effortless wit of its predecessors. A few lines land, but many feel like they’re reaching for laughs that never hit.

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025)

At the end of the day, Wake Up Dead Man is still a solid mystery, just not a standout one. It looks incredible, has a few strong performances, and a central puzzle that kept me interested. But it’s missing that spark, that quirky ensemble energy that made the earlier films so much fun to dissect. This one solves the case…but forgets to make you love the ride getting there.

https://jackmeat.com/wake-up-dead-man-a-knives-out-mystery-2025/

Kill Shot (2023) | Kill Shot misses the mark on action and storytelling. Felt like TV movie quality from back in the network days. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. If “high-octane thrill ride” was the mission statement for Kill Shot, then somewhere along the way, the engine stalled, and someone forgot to hire a stunt coordinator. What we’re left with is a movie that sounds like a good time on paper. Terrorists posing as hunters are tracking down $100 million lost in a plane crash. Instead, it plays out like a forgotten late-night cable filler from the early 2000s.

Kill Shot kicks things off with that premise, which should be an easy win. However, the film delivers fight scenes that feel like they were choreographed five minutes before filming. There’s no weight, no rhythm, and definitely no sense that anyone involved is in actual danger. You’ll spend more time wondering if someone missed their cue than feeling any suspense.

Then there’s the character work, or lack of it. Most of the cast feel like unpaid extras who accidentally wandered into speaking roles. Xian Mikol at least shows flashes of being someone worth watching, like she could’ve been a legitimate threat or standout villain, but the script does her no favors and wastes that potential almost immediately. Everyone else? Interchangeable, forgettable, and operating on autopilot.

And yes…I need to talk about Rachel Cook. More specifically, her butt. The film makes absolutely sure you notice her. It. Repeatedly, and not in a way that serves the story. There’s a moment involving a completely unnecessary tent exit that feels less like character development and more like the director waving a giant flag that says, “Yes, she is in her panties on a hunting trip.” It’s not subtle, and it definitely doesn’t help the film take itself seriously.

Dialogue doesn’t save things either. You’d think a movie like this could at least lean into some fun one-liners or cheesy banter, but instead it lands in that awkward middle ground where nothing is memorable -just flat, occasionally clunky exchanges that drift by without impact.

And just when you think Kill Shot might at least wrap things up cleanly, it pulls the classic “wait for the sequel” move. Bold strategy for a movie that hasn’t earned the first one. It’s less of a cliffhanger and more of a raised eyebrow - like, you think I am watching another?

Kill Shot (2023)

In the end, this feels like a throwback to those old network TV action movies. Not in a nostalgic way, but in a “this probably played at 2 PM on a Sunday” kind of way. There’s a decent idea buried here somewhere, but between the weak action, thin characters, and questionable creative choices, Kill Shot misses the target by a pretty wide margin.

https://jackmeat.com/kill-shot-2023/

The Octagon (1980) | Early Chuck Norris figuring out his one-man army vibe, while ninjas take turns getting absolutely owned. RIP Mr. Norris. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. The Octagon is one of those movies that feels like a time capsule I wasn't supposed to open unsupervised. But I did anyway, probably way past my bedtime on that Showtime box. With the recent passing of Chuck Norris, going back to revisit one of his early leading roles hits a little differently. This was peak “testing the waters” Norris, before he fully cemented himself as a one-man army, but already radiating that quiet, roundhouse-ready presence.

The setup is straight 80s action cheese. Scott James (Norris), a stoic martial arts expert, is tricked by a wealthy woman into providing protection. From ninjas. Yes, ninjas. Things escalate quickly when his old enemy McCarn (Lee Van Cleef, effortlessly cool as always) enters the picture, leading Scott into a full-blown grudge match with an entire ninja clan. The 80s loved their ninjas.

That opening shootout? Way bloodier than memory serves. It almost tricks you into thinking you’re in for a brutal ride. Nope. After that, it’s back to the classic “guy gets shot and politely folds over” school of action physics. Still, all practical effects, which give it that raw charm modern CGI often struggles to replicate.

And then there’s the inner voice. Oh boy. Norris spends a good chunk of the film coaching himself. From inside his own head. And it’s not the reassuring kind. It’s more like a slightly haunted, echoing voice that sounds like it’s warning him about a curse rather than helping him fight ninjas. It’s unintentionally hilarious and just a little creepy, like your conscience has seen some things.

The real comedy gold, though, is Norris’s delivery. His one-liners land with the emotional range of someone reading a grocery list, which somehow makes them even funnier. It’s that dead-serious, “I absolutely mean this” tone that turns basic dialogue into comedy. You’re not laughing at the joke, you’re laughing at how committed he is to it. "Dammit, don't accuse me." Norris - "I haven't had time."

Visually, you’ve got feathered haircuts everywhere (seriously, it’s like a shampoo commercial broke out mid-production), and a steady supply of ninjas who, toward the finale, politely wait their turn to get knocked out. The fight choreography is solid for its time, clean and watchable, but definitely feels slower compared to today’s hyper-edited chaos. Still, there’s something refreshing about actually seeing what’s happening in a fight.

It was also fun spotting a young Ernie Hudson popping up early in his career. And the classic “two brothers trained together, one chosen, now sworn enemies” trope gets a full workout here, because no martial arts movie is complete without it.

The Octagon isn’t Norris’s best, but it’s an important stepping stone. This was him inching toward the action icon status that would soon be shared with guys like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, though Norris carved his own lane with martial arts and later TV dominance in Walker, Texas Ranger.

The Octagon (1980)

It’s rough around the edges, unintentionally funny in the right ways, and littered with enough ninjas to keep things entertaining. A nostalgic, slightly bizarre, but very watchable tribute.

RIP Mr. Norris.

https://jackmeat.com/the-octagon-1980/

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) | All that buildup just to deliver a whole lot of nothing. Honestly impressive how boring a slasher can feel. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.2/10. If you walked into The Strangers: Chapter 3 expecting the franchise to suddenly evolve into something deeper, smarter, or even coherent. That would be a NOPE. This is one of those “commit to the bit or suffer the consequences” situations. And the bit here? Apparently, take everything that made The Strangers work, toss it out the window, and replace it with lore nobody asked for.

Picking up right where Chapter 2 left off (after a quick detour into yet another dramatic reference to the Tamara killing, because clearly we haven’t heard about that enough), Renny Harlin wastes no time diving into “mythology.” And by mythology, I mean awkward flashbacks desperately trying to convince you this family of masked weirdos is terrifying on a deeper level. It doesn’t land. At all. If anything, it feels like the film is trying to gaslight you into thinking this was the plan all along. Spoiler: it absolutely doesn’t feel like it.

We’re back with Maya (Madelaine Petsch), our designated Final Girl, stuck in what’s now apparently a cycle of violence instead of the classic “wrong place, wrong time” terror the franchise built its identity on. She gets forced to overact scenes since there is no tension written in. Meanwhile, her sister Debbie (Rachel Shenton) and brother-in-law Howard (George Young) roll into town with a private detective, poking around like they’re looking for those missing kids from Weapons. Seriously, half their scenes feel like a low-budget crime drama where everyone in town is suspicious purely because the script says so.

I feel bad for Gregory, the Scarecrow played by Gabriel Basso. To be fair, he is actually one of the few things working here. If you’ve seen him in The Night Agent, this is a sharp left turn. He’s got a genuinely intimidating presence, right up until the movie decides he should make decisions so baffling you’ll want to yell at your screen. Leaving Maya alone with a shotgun? Bold strategy. Let’s see how that plays out.

Now, about that “most brutal chapter yet” marketing. Yeah, that’s some bulls*!t. The kills are actually less bloody than before, which is an interesting choice while promoting that tagline. It’s like ordering the spiciest thing on the menu and getting bread. There are practical effects sprinkled in, which look solid, but then the film caps it off with a CGI blood splatter that feels like someone in post production got bored. Consistency? Never heard of it.

What really hurts The Strangers: Chapter 3 is the tone shift. The original appeal was simple and effective. Random, senseless terror. No motives, no explanations, just pure nightmare fuel. Here, the film tries to rewrite that into something more structured, and in doing so, strips away the very thing that made it unsettling. It’s not scarier, it’s just confusing.

Technically, Harlin nails the production side. It looks good, sounds good, and the atmosphere is there…in theory. But atmosphere without tension is just empty space, and this movie has plenty of that. Scenes drag, scares fizzle, and by the time it’s all over, it feels less like a climax and more like the franchise quietly ducking out the door, hoping you won't notice. I did.

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026)

In the end, this trilogy doesn’t go out with a bang. It limps off like it forgot why it existed. And that is the scariest part.

https://jackmeat.com/the-strangers-chapter-3-2026/

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (March 10, 1940 - March 19, 2026) | A sad day for martial arts fans as we mourn the loss of a legend. RIP Mr. Norris. #jackmeatsflix

It is a sad day in the martial arts world, losing the meme-friendly, incredibly talented & loving man. I first saw Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris in his epic fight with Bruce Lee in The Way of the Dragon (below), or as it was known in the USA, Return of the Dragon, even though it was not a sequel and was actually filmed BEFORE Enter the Dragon. Confused? Not the point. He more or less owned the 80s for martial arts films that didn't suck (in the USA.) He went on to become a staple on TV in Walker, Texas Ranger. After the Internet became a thing, you all knew Chuck Norris as the man who counted to infinity twice, the man who got bit by a cobra, and the cobra died, and many other amusing memes about him being indestructible. ABC News and NBC have more information.

Many of his peers chimed in, such as Stallone and Van Damme, commenting on him as a friend. Today, we found out that a sudden illness was able to catch up with him. RIP Mr. Norris.

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris, March 10, 1940 - March 19, 2026

https://jackmeat.com/carlos-ray-chuck-norris/

Forgotten Fortune (2026) | You’ve got Lou Ferrigno and JJ Walker, and Forgotten Fortune still somehow forgets to do anything fun with them. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.3/10. Walking into Forgotten Fortune felt a bit like stepping into unfamiliar territory for me. Faith-based films aren’t usually my go-to, but if the motto is “I watch everything so you don’t have to,” then here we are. Consider this one taken for the team…with a side of curiosity and a sprinkle of nostalgia.

Written and directed by Esteban “Stevie” Fernandez Jr., Forgotten Fortune follows Brian Franks, played by Brian Shoop, an 82-year-old retired mailman navigating dementia, old memories, and what he believes is a witnessed murder. It’s a premise that actually has some intrigue baked in. An unreliable narrator, a potential crime, and a hidden fortune tied to a forgotten stock purchase. That’s a solid setup…in theory.

Then the movie starts, and for a minute, you might wonder if you accidentally switched over to a network sitcom from 1993. The tone, the lighting, even the delivery - it all has that slightly too-clean, cue-card-adjacent feel. The dialogue, unfortunately, doesn’t help much. A lot of it lands like actors are carefully reading lines rather than actually living in them, which makes the more emotional dementia-driven moments feel a bit rehearsed.

Of course, it’s worth noting that the content itself is relevant. Seeing a family deal with a relative’s deteriorating mental state should be impactful, but Forgotten Fortune goes to great lengths to round off that impact. It’s not always successful in conveying emotions. Mark Sherwood, playing Brian’s son Mark, stands out as one of the few who feels fully committed to selling the situation.

The mystery side? Let’s just say this isn’t exactly Knives Out. We meet the criminals early, and they’re not exactly criminal masterminds. The “murder” element feels less like a central hook and more like an excuse to keep the Alzheimer’s message moving forward. Even with a couple of bodies in play, the film maintains a surprisingly upbeat tone. Helped along by a soundtrack that politely tells you how to feel every step of the way.

Now, let’s talk about the nostalgia factor. Seeing Jimmie “JJ” Walker on screen again is a fun throwback, especially if you grew up with Good Times reruns like me. And then there’s Lou Ferrigno, forever tied to The Incredible Hulk. I’ll admit, I kept waiting for him to smash through a wall. Sadly, no such luck. Even more shocking? JJ Walker makes it through the entire movie without dropping a “Dyn-o-mite!” Honestly, that might be the biggest missed opportunity here.

The finale is where things wobble the most. There’s a bizarre sequence involving cops and criminals swapping guns like it’s some kind of low-budget Secret Santa. Strange choice. Not a great one, but definitely a memorable one for all the wrong reasons.

To its credit, Forgotten Fortune never feels overly preachy. The faith-based elements are clear but not aggressively pushed. And the core message about caring for aging family members and recognizing the signs of Alzheimer’s is sincere. To top it all off, the film ends on a meaningful note with some statistics.

At the end of the day, this is a very average watch with a clear target audience. If you’re in that lane, it may appeal to you. If not, like me, you might find yourself appreciating the intent more than the execution. And still wondering how you make a movie with JJ Walker and not let him say his line.

Forgotten Fortune (2026)

There are no streaming links as of yet since this one hasn't been released. I probably wouldn't have run across this one if I hadn't been sent an early look from my buddy, Staci. So thank you! I know this will probably become the norm, but I am not a fan of seeing a notice on this screener informing me that "This video contains visuals and audio that were edited or generated by AI."

https://jackmeat.com/forgotten-fortune-2026/

All Jacked Up And Full Of Worms (2022) | I doubt anything I say could sway you any more than this movie title does on its own #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. Sometimes you watch a movie because it looks great. Sometimes, because the trailer is intriguing. And sometimes you click play simply because it’s short, it’s a horror movie, and it takes place in Chicago. That was my entire decision-making process for All Jacked Up and Full of Worms. Seventy-one minutes? Horror? Chicago setting? Sure, why not?

Seventy-one minutes later, I had the opposite reaction. Why not something else?

All Jacked Up and Full of Worms follows Roscoe, a maintenance worker at a sleazy Chicago motel who stumbles across a stash of hallucinogenic worms. Naturally, the logical next step is to start eating them. Because that's what you do. Once Roscoe and his buddy get hooked on their new form of recreational activity involving worms and their mouths, the story takes a bizarre turn into drug trips and questionable decisions.

And when I say uncomfortable, I mean it.

At one point, the two leads decide the next phase of their worm-induced enlightenment is attempting to manifest a child using a sex doll purchased online. And yes, before you ask, the doll is an infant. If you’re wondering what level of depravity the movie is aiming for, well…it aims high and gets there quickly.

To be clear, shocking material alone doesn’t automatically ruin a horror film. Plenty of movies have gone into dark territory and made it work. The problem with All Jacked Up and Full of Worms is that it feels like that shock value is the entire plan. Once the initial “what did I just watch?” factor wears off, there isn’t much else holding the movie together.

The story wanders all over the place like someone just gobbled a handful of hallucinogenic worms themselves. Plotlines pop up, drift around, and then vanish, leaving us wondering what the point was. It plays like a manic fever dream that has no idea what it wants to be.

Writer-director Alex Phillips clearly has some strange ideas rattling around in his head, and occasionally that weirdness almost works. The camera work is occasionally quite solid, and I did catch some genuine filmmaking ability behind the lens. I also found myself appreciating the practical effects more than anything else in the movie. Those moments at least had a little bit of creative spark.

Unfortunately, I got slighted on the Chicago setting. Since All Jacked Up and Full of Worms is set in the windy city, I was hoping for some gritty alleyways or recognizable city scenery for a little nostalgia. Instead, most of the film is trapped in and around a rundown motel that looks like it rents rooms by the hour and probably sells worms by the pound.

I’ll probably keep an eye on whatever Phillips does next. I saw enough bizarre creativity here to suggest something better could be coming.

All Jacked Up and Full of Worms feels like the kind of movie that would fit perfectly on a late-night Svengoolie broadcast. You know the one, where halfway through the rubber chicken flies across the screen and everyone starts making jokes about the motel being located in Berwyn.

Come to think of it, that version might have been the more entertaining cut.

All Jacked Up and Full of Worms (2022)

https://jackmeat.com/all-jacked-up-and-full-of-worms-2022/