Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) | New Year, old traps - a later-era Saw double feature that delivers gore and twists, even if the tension never fully sharpens. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.7/10. Getting my watchlist under control is officially my New Year’s resolution, which led me back to Spiral: From the Book of Saw. I was also fairly certain I’d already seen this one at some point, yet my database had absolutely nothing logged. Never a good sign. Still, curiosity (and franchise loyalty) won out.

Working in the long shadow of his respected police veteran father (Samuel L. Jackson), brash Detective Ezekiel “Zeke” Banks (Chris Rock) and his rookie partner (Max Minghella) become embroiled in an investigation that uncannily reminds him of events in the past that seemed all too familiar. Before long, Zeke becomes embroiled in a macabre scenario that has all the hallmarks of a Saw movie, despite its pretense that this is something new.

The reason this film exists is no secret. This was very much a passion project for Chris Rock, who’s been open about being a big fan of the Saw franchise. You can feel that enthusiasm in the concept, but execution is another story. While the gore is absolutely on point - no complaints there - the film struggles badly with tension. The AI-synthesized voice used for the killer is a major misstep; it never instills fear or dread, and instead comes off oddly flat and artificial. If this was meant to signal a new generation of Saw, it’s hard not to think the franchise course-corrected far more successfully with Saw X by returning to the era when Jigsaw was still alive and filling in narrative gaps that actually mattered.

That said, Spiral isn’t without its moments. While the conclusion does offer some interesting ideas, there’s enough torture, cat-and-mouse action, and franchise cliches to keep loyal viewers somewhat enthralled. In fact, this one does not feel out of place among the better late entries when measured against some of the other follow-ups to the original. The character arc, as predictable as the plot, makes the consequences feel telegraphed.

Chris Rock’s performance is another sticking point. His acting feels off throughout, lacking both his usual stand-up energy and the presence needed to sell the darker material. It never fully clicks as serious, which creates an odd tonal imbalance. Sam Jackson does what he can, but the script doesn’t give him much room to shine. Overall, Darren Lynn Bousman's direction is solid, the script is mediocre, and the acting is uneven.

As a hardcore Saw fan, and knowing this is technically the ninth installment, my expectations were already low - and even then, Spiral still feels like one of the weaker entries in the franchise. It’s not a “bad” movie, but it’s also not very memorable. There are elements that work, sure, but the sum of its parts leaves a lot to be desired. Not the best horror film by any stretch, but still worth a watch if you’re after some quick, disposable entertainment.

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

https://jackmeat.com/spiral-from-the-book-of-saw-2021/

The Great Flood (2025) | A mother fights rising waters and impossible choices, proving that survival means nothing without protecting the child who defines her. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.9/10. The Great Flood lands on Netflix as what initially looks like a fairly straightforward disaster thriller, but it quickly becomes clear that this isn’t just about water levels rising and people scrambling for higher ground. Directed by Byung-woo Kim, the film opens with a global flood event that has pushed humanity to the brink, narrowing its focus to a single apartment building and a mother’s desperate attempt to save her child on what may be the final day on Earth. I went into this one dubbed, having seen a trailer weeks earlier that did a solid job of selling tension and scale, and it definitely got my attention.

Kim Da-mi plays An Na, a mother pushed to emotional and physical exhaustion, and the film wastes no time putting her through the wringer. Her child is, frankly, a whiny little nightmare, but that’s very much by design. The kid isn’t written to be cute or charming; he’s stressful, demanding, and often infuriating, which only amplifies the sense of panic and responsibility hanging over every decision An Na makes. Parenting under normal circumstances is hard enough - parenting during the apocalypse is something else entirely.

What fascinates me specifically about The Great Flood is that it refuses to be purely a survival tale of a natural disaster. Clearly, more than one thing is going on beneath that surface, and much is quietly hinted at in these first moments. So long as you're paying attention, you'll notice that something is “off” well before that point at which the movie ceases being coy about that. It is, in this specific case, things like minute details of clothing that suggested something was amiss long before that point.

At its core, this is a story about motherhood: the bond between parent and child, the sacrifices involved, and the emotional journey that never really ends. That thematic shift is ambitious, but it’s also where the film becomes divisive. The tonal and genre pivot - drifting into more abstract, sci-fi territory - can feel abrupt and may discourage you if you signed up for a more conventional disaster flick. The film also doesn’t clearly communicate its internal rules, which adds to the sense of disorientation.

As far as what it looks like in the world around them, it has been well-realized with effective visuals that convey just what kind of “chaos” represents “water in all the wrong places.” Kim Da-mi is a strong performer who holds everything together well with a credible performance in which her tolerance level for such a mischievous kid borders on heroics.

The Great Flood is a story that does require patience and an openness to think rather than be shown answers to all the questions that may be floating around as you watch. I would've been far more into this had the story not gotten so convoluted towards the end. It may not be to everyone's taste, but in any case, it is one story that lends something to everyone who may be keen on following this flick until the end. Especially Mothers.

The Great Flood (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/the-great-flood-2025/

Bambi: The Reckoning (2025) | A mutant, grief-stricken deer hunts an entire family with unexpected laughs and just enough insanity to stay weirdly entertaining. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.8/10. Bambi: The Reckoning is one of those movies where the title alone tells you exactly what kind of ride you’re in for, and to its credit, it mostly delivers. I tossed this onto my Christmas horror watchlist thinking it was Rudolph, which…close enough, I guess. Instead of a glowing nose, we get a grief-fueled, mutated deer on a revenge rampage, and honestly, that’s a holiday miracle in its own right.

The film opens with an animated backstory explaining how deforestation and human cruelty may have pushed the forest’s animals over the edge. It’s surprisingly earnest, laying the groundwork for why Bambi has gone full apex predator. After a car accident strands a mother and son, they quickly discover they’re not just injured, they’re prey. Bambi isn’t content with a simple hit-and-run either; his wrath extends to their entire family, including the matriarch (Nicola Wright), who suffers from dementia and shares a strange, unexplained psychic connection with the deer. The movie never really digs into that bond, but it’s weird enough to keep things interesting.

As if an enraged kaiju-sized deer weren’t enough, the plot piles on additional chaos with a group of bounty hunters hired to capture or kill the creature, plus other mutated animals roaming the woods. The standout offenders are the rabbits, who have somehow become carnivorous murder machines. Watching them go feral reminded me of the bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail on blood thirsty steroids. It’s ridiculous, but it works within the film’s aggressively campy tone.

Let’s talk scale. Bambi’s size fluctuates wildly depending on the scene’s needs, but the first attack establishes him as car-sized, literally flipping a vehicle before standing atop it like an angry woodland god. Later moments stretch logic even further, including a genuinely hilarious shot of Bambi delicately turning a round doorknob with his hoof. This comes immediately after he smashes straight through a window and the wall supporting it, because consistency is optional in movies like this.

Roxanne McKee brings a bit of polish to the proceedings, while Joseph Greenwood’s Harrison is engineered to be absolutely unbearable, and kudos to director Dan Allen for ensuring that a character this obnoxious gets the kind of send-off he truly earns. The kills, overall, are a pleasant surprise. Several are genuinely well-staged, with the chase sequences and Harrison’s encounter with the bunnies standing out as my highlights.

The CGI is better than expected for a film of this ilk, and fans of the original Bambi will appreciate a certain familiar rabbit making an appearance. Sure, there are nitpicks - flares definitely last longer than thirty seconds - but after all the absurd carnage, Bambi: The Reckoning ends up being far more watchable than it has any right to be. It’s silly, violent, occasionally clever, and fully aware of its own insanity, which makes it a solid choice if you’re in the mood for campy creature chaos.

Bambi: The Reckoning (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/bambi-the-reckoning-2025/

Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2025) | This 104 minute trailer for part 3 has more robots & more noise, but when Fazfest happens, common sense leaves town. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 picks up one year after the events at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a place whose very real horrors have been conveniently repackaged into a kitschy local myth complete with the town’s first-ever Fazfest. Former night guard Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and police officer Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) are still sitting on the truth, choosing to shield Mike’s 11-year-old sister Abby (Piper Rubio) from what really happened to her animatronic “friends.” Naturally, secrecy plus trauma plus sentient murder robots is a terrible combination, and when Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, the past comes roaring back with rusted joints and unfinished business.

I thought it opened strongly with a voiceover teasing a spectacle before launching into a flashback set twenty years earlier. A young girl senses that something is very wrong beneath the flashing lights and forced smiles, and her curiosity leads to a brief but genuinely unsettling peek behind the curtain. This sequence, capped off with a fun animated credit roll, is easily one of the sequel’s best moments.

Sadly, with the return to the present time comes the return to the more typical horror filler of obnoxiously loud “ghost hunters” that split up seconds after their entrance, as if they had scanned the manual on horror cliches on their way in. Because of the PG-13 rating, the gore is limited, so my hopes of a meaningful massacre are squashed quickly.

Director Emma Tammi returns and does manage to wring some eerie imagery out of the expanded locations, with several nicely framed shots that remind you why this franchise works visually. Audrey Lynn-Marie is particularly unsettling as Charlotte, delivering one of the film’s more disturbing performances. On the casting front, however, the script makes a baffling choice by introducing both a Michael (Freddy Carter) as Vanessa’s brother and a Mike as her boyfriend. The name confusion adds nothing but needless irritation. Matthew Lillard’s involvement as their father, on the other hand, is a welcome addition and a reminder of how much stronger the series feels when it leans into its legacy players.

Where the movie goes from bad to worse is in terms of writing, Scott Cawthon. The last act of this movie is a mash of plot points, most of which are glossed over with a simplistic "because it’s a plot point" explanation. The bigger, better sequel angle, I guess, involves this movie being larger than the first. There are more animatronic enemies, there are more places to explore, there is more noise, but bigger doesn’t always mean better.

The plot, of course, relies on a string of dumb luck moments, including a "car broke down in the middle of nowhere" bit where help conveniently shows up without a second’s notice. Perhaps even dumber, however, is this location being abandoned and left to decay, but conveniently located a stone’s throw from everyone.

Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2025)

In the end, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 is consistent with the first film but not an improvement. It feels less like a complete movie and more like a 104-minute trailer for Part 3, with some cool animatronic designs sprinkled in for good measure. Stick around through the credits if you need confirmation. The sequel bait is loud and proud. I was hoping this round would level up. Instead, the script collapses like an announcer’s table at a WWE pay-per-view.

https://jackmeat.com/five-nights-at-freddys-2-2025/

Now You See Me: Now You Don't (2025) | A fun, flashy sequel that adds new blood but sidelines the originals. Enjoyable misdirection, just not peak Horsemen magic. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. I went into Now You See Me: Now You Don’t cautiously optimistic. I enjoyed the first two films for what they were - slick, globe-trotting magic capers that leaned hard into style, misdirection, and charm even when logic took a backseat. With this third entry positioning itself as the closing chapter of a trilogy (at least for now), the big question was whether it could stick the landing. The answer is… mostly, but not without fumbling a few cards along the way.

The setup is familiar but escalated. The original Horsemen are reunited, this time partnering with younger illusionists, for a challenge against the likes of Veronika Vanderberg (Rosamund Pike), the heiress of a vast diamond fortune running a criminal enterprise based on money laundering and human trafficking. It’s a tougher, more ruthless villain, which, theoretically, is the perfect premise for the Horsemen to finish what they started. Instead, the film splits its focus a little too evenly, and that’s where things start to wobble.

We’re introduced to several new players, and I’ll say this without spoiling anything: if I were Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), my answer would’ve been, “I’ll take you two, and you” - pointing directly at Bosco (Dominic Sessa) - “can go jump in the nearest pond.” That reaction is clearly intentional, and to Sessa’s credit, he plays the role exactly as designed. The problem is that the movie never fully earns the payoff for that annoyance. Justice Smith’s Charlie, the resident brainiac, and Ariana Greenblatt’s June, a sleight-of-hand prodigy, are solid additions, but they’re sketched so thin that it’s hard to truly care about them beyond their usefulness to the plot.

The returning cast is where the movie shines. Isla Fisher is back (fresh off Playdate), and it’s great to have her energy reintroduced into the mix. Woody Harrelson and Dave Franco slide effortlessly back into Merritt and Jack Wilder, and Morgan Freeman’s Thaddeus remains a welcome presence. The film really leans into franchise nostalgia too. Yes, Lula (Lizzy Caplan) pops up, and yes, there’s a little sequel tease involving Mark Ruffalo’s Dylan for anyone wondering if there’s still life left in this series.

There’s plenty of expected magic and glossy misdirection, and the final heist is visually impressive. Unfortunately, it lacks the deeply satisfying payoff that made the first two films so much fun. The twists feel forced, the revenge-driven plot drags, and sidelining the now five-member Horsemen in favor of underdeveloped newcomers is a questionable choice.

Still, this isn’t a bad movie, just a missed opportunity. The cast carries it, the energy is mostly there, and if you loved the first two, you’ll find enough spectacle to enjoy. I just don’t feel the same level of magic.

Now You See Me: Now You Don't (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/now-you-see-me-now-you-dont-2025/

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) | Festive traditions become weapons of mass dysfunction as the Griswolds prove Christmas spirit survives even during total household collapse. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 8.5/10. How I have never actually reviewed National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation before is beyond me, especially considering this thing has been burned into my DNA through decades of annual rewatches. And when I say “classic,” I don’t mean polite, background-noise classic. I mean full-blown, never-gets-old, laugh-even-though-you-know-the-punchline-is-coming classic. This is assuming, of course, you appreciate the finely tuned chaos of John Hughes’ writing and a cast that could sell a joke with a raised eyebrow and a well-timed glance. So another year, another rewatch, this time with notes, a cold beer, and a renewed appreciation for just how perfectly unhinged this movie really is.

The Griswold family’s plan for a big, wholesome Christmas predictably collapses within minutes, starting with the ill-advised family trip to cut down a “little” Christmas tree. From there, the film just keeps stacking disasters like Clark stacks extension cords. One-liners, slapstick, visual gags - it’s all here, deployed so effortlessly it feels almost unfair to other comedies. The house-lighting scene alone could fuel a dozen holiday traditions, and that bit with Clark hiding the present still lands every single time. I could honestly list scenes all day and not run out.

Then there’s the pool fantasy sequence, which somehow manages to be both iconic and completely devoid of nudity, a minor miracle that speaks volumes about Chevy Chase’s commitment to physical comedy and Jeremiah S. Chechik’s pitch-perfect direction. It doesn’t hurt that Nicolette Scorsese’s appearances, both at the store and poolside, are seared into cinematic, we'll call it, history. Chase’s Clark Griswold is a man powered entirely by optimism, denial, and the belief that his Christmas bonus will fix everything.

This is easily my favorite of all the Vacation films, and the supporting cast is a huge reason why. Beverly D’Angelo’s Ellen is the calm eye in the storm, Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki are perfectly cast as the perpetually confused Griswold kids, and there’s a delightful pre-Friends sighting of Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the aggressively judgmental neighbor. Clark’s bad luck escalates daily, especially once the extended family arrives, but he soldiers on, clinging to the promise of that bonus like it’s a sacred relic.

And then Uncle Eddie shows up. If you’ve seen the first Vacation, you know exactly the flavor of insanity Randy Quaid brings to the table. And yes, the sledding scene remains an all-timer, physics be damned. By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, the movie is firing jokes at machine-gun speed, including Aunt Bethany’s cat-related “gift,” which ends in one of the darkest, funniest sight gags ever put in a holiday movie.

When the bonus finally arrives, if you think it’s going to end well, you clearly haven’t been paying attention. I mean, it wouldn’t be Christmas Vacation if the Chicago SWAT team didn’t get involved. If you somehow haven’t seen this movie yet, you truly don’t know what you’re missing. Forever a staple of my annual Christmas viewing - and it probably should be in yours too.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

https://jackmeat.com/national-lampoons-christmas-vacation-1989/

Dear Santa (2024) | Jack Black steals the show as Satan in a festive misfire that teases dark comedy but settles for safe holiday laughs. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. Dear Santa starts with one of those concepts that immediately caught my attention. A well-meaning but naive sixth-grade student writes to Santa to show he exists, gets the address wrong due to dyslexia, and ends up summoning Satan instead. Even that, on its own, is a premise that feels like it’s crying out for either dark comedic gold or outright holiday horror mayhem. What it gets instead is something much more mundane, and, for the most part, squandered.

Robert Timothy Smith plays the role of Liam, a genuinely pleasant and lovable kid whose innocence and awkwardness are some of the most well-meaning aspects of this movie. He has some good comedic timing that does not cross the line of becoming annoying, and it’s clear that he’s just starting to take Satan’s advice and cut loose, and these are some of the best parts of the movie.

Jack Black, though, is the main attraction here. Casting him as Satan is a smart move, and unsurprisingly, he runs with it. His version of the Prince of Darkness is loud, theatrical, needy, and weirdly enthusiastic about finally having a fanboy. Black’s energy injects life into nearly every scene he’s in, and while his antics can’t fully rescue the movie from some questionable plot turns and a rather dreary backstory, they do keep it watchable. A surprise appearance from Ben Stiller as Lucifer is also a fun little bonus, even if it feels more like a novelty cameo than something integral to the story.

Another wasted opportunity I saw was Keegan-Michael Key as the child psychologist, and probably the biggest letdown. He’s barely given anything funny or memorable to do, which is baffling considering how much comedic mileage could’ve been squeezed out of that role. Similarly, the Post Malone scene feels completely out of place, stopping the movie dead for a moment that adds little beyond celebrity recognition.

The film also plays things very safe. Although IMDb has labeled it horror, there is not an ounce of horror anywhere in it. More macabre or dark notions are honed down in favor of a largely trendy, family-friendly approach, resulting in this movie being stuck in limbo, torn somewhere in between what it could have represented versus what it does. Rooted in an angle like this, going either fully darkly comedic or horror-oriented would have left it far more memorable.

Kai Cech, playing Liam’s crush Emma, is sweet and innocent here, especially compared to the ass kicker we saw her play in Marshmallow. The ending, however, is a head-scratcher and ultimately drags the whole experience down a notch.

Dear Santa (2024)

I appreciated that Dear Santa offered something new and interesting, although it didn't quite seem to live up to its own potential. For most of its running time, I was sitting at either a 5 or 6, but that ending pushed it closer to 5. However, Jack Black is definitely worth at least a single viewing during the holidays if you haven't already seen it.

https://jackmeat.com/dear-santa-2024/

The Christmas Spirit (2022) | An earnest but dull Christmas parable where angels intervene for problems most people solve without supernatural assistance. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.4/10. The Christmas Spirit is yet another reminder of my greatest cinematic weakness. Once a movie starts, I almost never shut it off. In this case, that commitment was tested early and often. Based on the title and the vague description I stumbled across beforehand, I was somehow expecting something wildly different, something closer to “a wrestling fan is instructed to kidnap a teenage girl who resembles his dead sister to save Christmas.” (IMDB) What I got instead was a Hallmark-looking, faith-forward holiday drama that wears its Christian messaging proudly on its sleeve. And yes, I watched the whole thing.

The story centers on Faith (Ricki Nelson), who returns home after learning of her father’s tragic death. She’s now faced with a supposed life-altering choice - continue her education or abandon her plans to take over her father’s ministry. While grappling with grief, she’s visited by an unwanted celestial guest, Gabriel (Amiri Koronz Thompson), who appears to guide her through her emotional turmoil and spiritual crossroads. On paper, it’s a familiar setup for these kinds of holiday films. On screen, it feels like something you’ve already seen a dozen times, just with different actors and a slightly tweaked sermon.

The film opens with some decent Christmas visuals, festive music, and a car accident to kickstart the drama, but things go downhill quickly. The acting is, bluntly, awful across the board. Faith herself is somewhat capable and clearly trying, which almost makes it worse, because nearly everyone around her feels like they wandered in from a community theater rehearsal they didn’t want to attend. Gabriel, in particular, looks painfully bored throughout the entire movie, as if this were his acting class final exam and attendance was mandatory.

Visually, the movie screams “low-budget Hallmark knockoff,” complete with awkward transitions and an endless stream of melodramatic music swelling in the background. The score never lets a single emotion breathe on its own, constantly telling you how to feel, even when nothing particularly emotional is happening. It was testing my patience really fast.

The biggest issue, though, is how predictable and unearned everything feels. These Christian holiday films often rely on familiar beats, but The Christmas Spirit doesn’t even try to justify its supernatural angle. Faith has no reason at all why she needs an angel to help with these issues. Losing a loved one, having issues with career path, and whether to follow their parent’s footsteps are all issues people face every day without the help of an angel. The film makes it so big and so special, but it doesn’t deserve it.

The meaning of the intended message is also a bit cloudy. While there is the religious messaging in there, there is also an awkward smattering of warnings pertaining to the dangers of greed and people trying to take advantage of you that simply doesn’t ring with the same sincerity and depth that the writers must have intended. Overall, the entire experience is anything but positive and is instead boring

The Christmas Spirit (2022)

I’m obviously not the target audience for family-friendly Christian holiday films, but even judging it on its own terms, The Christmas Spirit is a slog. Predictable, poorly acted, and emotionally flat, it’s the kind of movie that tests your endurance more than your holiday spirit - and sadly, mine survived it, but just barely.

https://jackmeat.com/the-christmas-spirit-2022/

Dead Snow 2 (2014) | Dead Snow 2 truly is The Sequel You Did Nazi Coming, embracing excess and stupidity in the most entertaining way possible. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.6/10. Dead Snow 2, later rebranded as Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead, kicks off with a recap of the first Dead Snow delivered by Martin (Geir Vegar Hoel), the unlucky survivor who famously hacked off his own arm in pure Evil Dead 2 fashion. If you’re worried the sequel might gently reset things, don’t be. It literally starts right where the first one ended, tossing Martin straight back into a snowy slap-fight with zombie Nazis. And I am glad it does.

After yet another narrow escape, Martin wakes up in a hospital and quickly discovers that his severed, infected arm has been surgically reattached. You don’t need to be a horror scholar to know exactly where that’s going, and Wirkola wastes no time milking it for both gore and laughs. The arm has opinions. Violent ones. And it sets the tone perfectly for a sequel that understands escalation is the name of the game.

Tommy Wirkola returns as writer/director, and this time he’s clearly been handed a bigger budget. Thankfully, more money hasn’t sanded off the rough edges. Instead, it just means Wirkola can afford a tank, more locations, and a significantly higher body count. The zombie Nazis are no longer content to loiter ominously in the mountains. They have ambitions now. World War II ambitions. After a stop at a WWII museum, Martin figures out the undead horde plans to finish the mission they were slaughtered before completing. Naturally, this involves recruiting more soldiers, the only way zombies know how: killing people and then touching their faces.

Here’s the twist - Martin’s zombie arm can recruit people, too. Suddenly, it’s undead fascists versus undead resistance fighters, which is not a sentence I ever expected to type with a straight face. While all this is happening, Martin accidentally alerts the Zombie Squad, an elite American team of undead-fighting specialists who fly over to Norway to help. They’re led by Daniel (Martin Starr), whom I realized I have been watching on Tulsa King, and his crew arrives armed, confident, and wildly unprepared for just how insane things are about to get.

Why stop there? Wirkola certainly doesn’t. The solution to the Nazi problem might involve resurrecting the Russian soldiers Herzog (Ørjan Gamst), the zombie Nazi leader, massacred during the war. Along the way, the Nazi advance leads to some wonderfully excessive pillaging, with intestines becoming frequent, enthusiastic participants. The bumbling policeman Gunga (Hallvard Holmen) is an idiot in the most lovable way, and the group’s zombie buddy (Kristoffer Joner) delivers consistent comic relief without wearing out his welcome.

The action is surprisingly well-choreographed, the Gore Factor is gleefully over-the-top, and the whole shebang has a morbid finale to the tune of Bonnie Tyler that’s just as expected. It even leaves viewers pondering that age-old question: Is sex with a zombie considered necrophilia?

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)

I'd have to say Dead Snow 2 sits comfortably alongside the original - same silly tone, same extreme gore, and the same sense that the filmmakers watched Dead Alive on repeat and thought, “Haven't seen Mum yet.” A must-see for horror-comedy fans around Christmas who like their splatter served with a wink and a chainsaw.

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2-2014/

Dead Snow (2009) | Dead Snow proves Christmas movies don’t need joy when they have zombie Nazis and enough gore to melt the ice. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. Dead Snow is the kind of movie that hears the phrase “Bad Taste” and just rockets a snowmobile right on top of it, thank the gods. Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola, this Norwegian splatter-comedy takes a simple premise and gleefully drowns it in buckets of the red stuff, and splatters it all over undead Nazis who refuse to stay dead.

The setup is classic cabin-in-the-woods territory. Eight medical students head out on a ski trip to a remote mountain lodge in Norway, looking for booze, bonding, and a temporary escape from responsibility. What they get instead is a history lesson soaked in arterial spray. An early scene teases the presence of Nazi zombies backed by some Christmas tunes before shifting focus to the group, which turns out to be a smart move. By the time the undead soldiers march back into frame, you’re already settled in and ready for the carnage.

Visually, Dead Snow looks far better than its budget might suggest. The snowy mountain landscapes are gorgeous, the glowing tent scene is legitimately striking, and the stark white environment makes every splash of red pop like a Jackson Pollock painting gone feral. When the movie needs to turn up the gore, and it absolutely does, it doesn’t hesitate. Severed limbs, exposed organs, fountains of blood…if you ever wondered how much viscera can stain snow, this movie treats it like a science experiment.

What really makes this work, however, is the way that tones are balanced. The horror is quite graphic, but it is also a part of the fun. The Nazis zombies are automatically comedic characters. While the movie does not overdo the humor and make all of the other characters comedic as a result of the zombies’ presence, this ends up creating a believable dynamic. This allows the violence to be that much more shocking and the humor that much funnier. When panic sets in, it feels earned. When someone does something incredibly stupid, it feels earned, too.

Horror fans will catch plenty of affectionate nods along the way. One character sporting a Braindead (aka Dead Alive) shirt is a nice wink, and there’s a very obvious - and very welcome - homage to Evil Dead II when the group gears up in a shed for their last stand. Add in snowmobiles tearing across the mountains, a perfectly chosen party song backing a zombie massacre, and a siege sequence in a remote cabin, and you’ve got a movie that knows exactly what it’s doing.

Don’t expect a warm, fuzzy Hollywood ending here. Dead Snow commits to its chaos and leaves you splattered and grinning like an idiot. It’s an unrelenting shock-feast, laced with black humor and tongue firmly in cheek, delivering exactly what it promises. If you’re in the mood for stupendous gore, undead armies roaming the countryside, and a movie that understands that “zombie Nazis” is already a punchline, this one is an absolute holiday blast.

Dead Snow (2009)

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2009/

Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022) | A cute premise meets brutal execution, resulting in 47 minutes of confused secondhand embarrassment (mine or Steve's, you pick) #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.5/10. Here we go again. My unhealthy obsession with watching anything even remotely branded “Amityville” continues, fully aware that I’m probably about to eat a cinematic gas-station burrito. Enter Amityville Christmas Vacation, a film that asks the bold question: What if Christmas spirit met actual spirits…and nobody involved had any talent?

Wally (played by writer, director, and lead actor Steven Rudzinski) wins a vacation to sunny Amityville. Because, of course, Amityville has a tourism board now. While there, he meets a woman. A woman who is also a ghost. Naturally. Can the magic of Christmas bring these two opposites together? More importantly, do the filmmakers honestly believe this guy is funny? Oh, wait, Rudzinski is the filmmaker. So yes, yes, he absolutely does.

It gets better. Or worse. Or both. His name is Wally Griswold. Subtlety died screaming. The woman running the contest laughs like a discount asylum escapee, and the ghost love interest looks like someone gently pressed her face into a fireplace and called it makeup. “Ethereal” by way of chimney sweep.

The plot, if I'm being generous, reveals that the woman managing the bed & breakfast lures lonely men during Christmas so the ghost haunting the property can kill them. Solid business model. Unfortunately for her, Wally is so clueless that he doesn’t realize the woman he’s dating is literally dead, and they fall in love instead. This enrages the property manager, who hires a paranormal investigator to capture the ghost…in a dog cage. I am not kidding. A dog cage.

Things escalate when the ghost gets emotionally conflicted and hops onto Zoom with her supernatural guidance counselor to talk through her feelings. Again, not making that up. I wish I were. It’s honestly impressive how many untalented people they managed to assemble in one production. That takes effort. Or at least a group text.

Look, more power to Rudzinski for having a dream and sticking to it, but he seems permanently trapped in the bargain bin of low-budget horror comedy. The budget limitations might not be his fault, but the execution absolutely is. He hasn’t made a decent or even average low-budget film that might attract someone willing to throw real money at him, and this one is downright painful.

The sad part? The idea itself is kind of cute. A Christmas ghost romance with horror elements could work. Strip it down, tighten it up, and give it to people who know what they’re doing, and you might have something. Instead, what we get is a cinematic fruitcake. Overly sweet, poorly mixed, and something you immediately regret accepting (been waiting to use that silly analogy).

The one genuinely good thing? A 47-minute runtime. So technically not a movie—more like an episode of Downton Abbey, except somehow with less class. This feels like what Steve, a cat, a couple of his buddies, and the three women who have permanently friend-zoned him brainstormed over cheap beer and zero self-awareness.

Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022)

If you’re like me and can’t stop watching Amityville movies no matter how bad they get, congratulations - Amityville Christmas Vacation is another for your checklist. For everyone else, consider this your warning. It barely misses a #turkey because Rudzinski just tries so damn hard, it is almost charming.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-christmas-vacation-2022/

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) | A robotic slasher Santa sounds like a great holiday flick but this one unfortunately doesn't live up to that hype. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Christmas Bloody Christmas wastes no time introducing us to two characters so aggressively annoying that you may find yourself rooting for them to be the first names crossed off Santa’s list. Riley Dandy and Sam Delich take control of the opening act, delivering a barrage of banter that clearly wants to channel Clerks. The sad thing is, this is not exactly an apt comparison. Rather than solid dialogue and plot, we’re treated to this ridiculous F-bomb diatribe that is completely gratuitous and intended strictly for shock value. The conversation goes on for far too long, and once it finally comes to an end, they again proceed down the inevitable path to the bedroom.

Along the way, the film introduces a few disposable extras and, more importantly, its robo-Santa centerpiece. Television commercials conveniently establish that these robotic Kringles are armed and have already been recalled due to malfunctions, which is about as subtle as a brick through a shop window. That setup exists solely to fast-track us into slasher territory once our two leads commit the ultimate horror sin by having sex inside the store where the Santa is housed. The robot activates, declares them “naughty,” and the killing spree begins.

At that point, I was fully on board. After enduring the overlong intro, I expected the movie to reward my patience with a lean, mean, gore-soaked holiday slasher. Instead, the film starts to wobble. The action becomes uneven, and the mayhem never quite reaches the level of intensity it promises. That said, for its budget, Christmas Bloody Christmas looks pretty solid. The practical effects are the real highlight here, delivering some satisfying brutality that helps keep things afloat even when the pacing falters.

Then we hit the final fifteen minutes, and that’s where everything goes sideways. The film abruptly abandons its slasher identity and transforms into a full-blown killer robot movie. The shift is so extreme that it sent me to Twitter to ask writer-director Joe Begos whether this was meant to be an homage or a straight-up lift from Hardware (he never replied). The resemblance isn’t subtle - it borrows the visual style, the robot’s specific flaw, and even the music. Homage or not, the result feels like the movie completely loses confidence in its own premise right at the finish line.

Up until that turn, Christmas Bloody Christmas plays like an above-average slasher with a gimmick you almost forget is even robotic. In placing the focus of the climax on that part of the story, the movie undermines everything else it was doing right and finishes on a note that’s more borrowed than earned. If you’re looking for something a bit of a bloody Christmas fix, this might hit the spot, but it’s probably a one-and-done. The tonal imbalance and the lack of reward in terms of the story aren’t exactly encouraging of a return visit. As always, use that information as you will.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

https://jackmeat.com/christmas-bloody-christmas-2022/

Dashing Through the Snow (2025) | Less “Dashing through the Snow,” more slipping on ice and pretending it was on purpose. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.5/10. Dashing Through the Snow sounds like a Hallmark movie until you realize it involves a pregnant fugitive, a bounty hunter who learned his trade on TikTok, homicidal elves with axes, and a hitman Santa who apparently skipped both firearms training and basic logic. Set on a snowy Christmas Eve, the film follows U.S. Marshal Joanna Johnston (Scottie Thompson), who is so desperate to avoid her judgmental family that she does the most relatable thing possible: she picks up extra work and accidentally becomes the guardian of a very pregnant criminal while being hunted by discount assassins in elf costumes.

The movie opens strong, or at least intriguing, with a Santa-suited man (David Koechner) staring through a sniper rifle. Tension! Menace! Then we immediately jump back 12 hours earlier, roll credits, and spend the next 20 minutes wondering why we bothered opening with that shot at all. By the time we catch up to the opening scene, you’ll have already forgotten why it mattered, who was aiming at whom, or why the movie didn’t just end right there.

Joanna’s partner, Merv (James Di Giacomo), is introduced during a botched arrest that gets stolen by local social-media bounty hunter Golden (Hunter Ives), described in-film - accurately - as a “douchebag.” This leads to some early precinct banter courtesy of Director Winters (Isaiah Washington), but none of it really lands. The comedy feels like it’s constantly setting up punchlines that never arrive, like a Christmas cracker that refuses to pop.

Then the elves show up. Armed and angry. And apparently immune to common sense. There’s a fight scene involving pool cues, axes, and grown adults flailing around like toddlers in a daycare melee. This is where things really go off the rails, especially considering Michael Jai White is credited for fight choreography. Somewhere, I see Spawn quietly weeping. A U.S. Marshal under attack by axe-wielding midgets should probably be shooting them, not gently nudging them away like she’s at a preschool birthday party.

Dashing Through the Snow also introduces its own fascinating physics. Getting shot barely registers as an inconvenience, like stubbing a toe. Joanna is hit twice, yet there’s no visible blood, no damage to her clothes, and no real sense that bullets behave like, you know… bullets. Rifle shots have zero recoil and all the weight of toy laser guns, which fits the overall “kids playing make-believe” vibe. Remember those elves? Yeah, they just disappear, much like my interest did.

There is some mystery and a little bit of a twist or two, and I would commend writer Stephen Chrabaszcz for at least making an attempt to go off on a different trajectory. Prince Bagdasarian’s direction spoils this attempt with some unnecessary shaky cam and a general lack of refinement. A chase scene shooting on location with vehicles looks like they discovered a shiny new drone and decided to utilize it whether they were shooting a scene where they needed to or not.

Dashing Through the Snow (2025)

And then the ending. Let’s just say the movie has the absolute nerve to tease a sequel. After all this. Bold. Audacious. Rounding up to a 4 is possibly criminal.

https://jackmeat.com/dashing-through-the-snow-2025/

Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025) | Aatami just wants to rebuild his home, but an army insists on turning it into the bloodiest DIY project imaginable. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.1/10. Sisu: Road to Revenge wastes absolutely no time reminding you why Aatami Korpi is one of the most indestructible forces in modern action cinema. Returning to the burned-out remains of the home where his family was brutally murdered during the war, “the man who refuses to die” dismantles what’s left, loads the wood onto a truck, and sets out to rebuild it somewhere safe in their honor. That simple, mournful act makes up Chapter 1, Home, and it perfectly reframes this sequel’s motivation. This time, it’s not gold driving Aatami forward; it’s memory, grief, and soon-to-be raw vengeance.

The film opens with just enough exposition to reorient us before dropping into 1946 at a Soviet border station. From there, the clock is ticking. You get roughly 14 minutes of setup, which includes Chapter 2, Old Enemies, which introduces Stephen Lang’s Yeagor, the commander responsible for Aatami’s family’s murder. Once Yeagor realizes who he’s dealing with and decides to finish the job, the movie slams the accelerator to the floor and never lets up.

Chapter 3: Motor Mayhem lives up to its billing, but not in the manner you might aver. This chase scene was neither ordinary nor predictable. Trucks, planes, and army vehicles crash into each other as if carefully planned yet completely insane. The details in the vehicles as well as in the planes used in this chapter are detailed to the last rim, the best being when a plane pursues Aatami's truck before swooping down for an assault that should be documented. Whether it be the director Jalmari Helander or the cinematographer Mika Orasmaa, the anxiety in these moments is not to be dismissed.

Of course, believability still gets thrown off a cliff in true Sisu fashion. Chapter 5, Long Shot, is another friendly reminder to switch off that realism filter. Even more unbelievable is the number of soldiers who somehow know exactly who Aatami is…yet still feel confident taunting him. That confidence never lasts long.

Jorma Tommila once again delivers a near-silent masterclass. His face does all the work, communicating rage, sorrow, and grim resolve without a single unnecessary word. When Chapter 6, Revenge, arrives, Yeagor is well and truly doomed. Shifting the action onto a train gives Aatami a new hunting ground, allowing the tension to spike as he moves through cars full of sleeping soldiers. The punishment he absorbs is borderline superhuman, capped off with a darkly comedic visual that exists solely to prove this man simply cannot be stopped.

The brutality here is staggering. Hand-to-hand combat is vicious, messy, and intimate. Fingers snap, faces are obliterated, and no body part is safe when fists or bullets start flying. The carnage carries us to the Finnish border for the final chapter, where Tommila once again proves dialogue is optional when you can convey everything with a look.

Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025)

Just as good as the first film, Sisu: Road to Revenge sticks to what works - no inner monologues, no quippy one-liners after kills, just a barebones plot and relentless, punishing action. This time, the treasure isn’t gold. It’s a home, rebuilt piece by piece, soaked in blood and memory.

https://jackmeat.com/sisu-road-to-revenge-2025/

Oblivium (2025) | Oblivium aims for haunting and ends up forgettable, ironically proving its own point better than intended. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.3/10. Oblivium opens with the kind of artsy imagery that screams, “Pay attention, this will matter later.” We get a woman drifting through different locations, from a beach to a cityscape, and I’m assuming this was meant to come full circle. Whether it actually does or not is… debatable. From there, we meet Sky (Dani Dean), who would rather do literally anything than visit her estranged grandmother suffering from Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately for Sky, avoidance is not an option because this is a horror movie, and poor life choices are mandatory.

Along for the ride is her friend Liz (Sabrina Orro), who sees this emotionally charged family visit as the perfect opportunity to shoot documentary-style footage about Alzheimer’s and its impact on families. Because nothing says “sensitive subject matter” like whipping out a camera during unresolved family trauma. Naturally, the two are at each other’s throats almost immediately, as if their friendship contract clearly stated they must argue nonstop from minute one.

Things get spooky when Sky and company start encountering ghostly figures that conveniently vanish the moment you look away, and then vanish from your memory entirely. The film leans hard into the whole “forgotten horrors” angle, though it often feels less like an intentional theme and more like the movie itself forgetting what it was trying to do. The sound design certainly doesn’t help, with uneven audio levels that make some conversations borderline impossible to hear. I could've used some subtitles for survival gear, assuming the dialogue even mattered.

It feels like writer-directors Ibrahim Ashmawey and Omar Ashmawey had a solid idea in their heads but couldn’t translate it to the screen. Unless, of course, they were aiming for a less-than-average low-budget thriller, in which case… mission accomplished. The ghosts here are an interesting breed: fully physical, throat-grabbing, levitating-you-off-the-ground types. Apparently, the story bundles these characters with a memory-wipe feature, since everyone they interact with instantly forgets everything, a trait the film casually calls an “Alzheimer’s thing.” I found that choice strangely convenient.

To be fair, Dani Dean and Sabrina Orro are doing far more than the material deserves. Both actresses overachieve and manage to remain watchable despite the script working against them at every turn. Ibrahim Ashmawey, who also appears on screen as Adrian, does not fare as well and might want to keep his talents firmly behind the camera going forward.

The film also avoids showing much in the way of ghost carnage, likely due to budget constraints. Instead of walking through bodies or obstacles, the ghosts politely walk around them, which somehow makes them less terrifying and more like considerate paranormal houseguests. The scares themselves are scarce, and the story never quite builds the tension it seems to be aiming for. By the time the movie wraps up, the message seems to be something along the lines of “Don’t forget the dead.”

Oblivium (2025)

Don’t worry, you’ll forget Oblivium long before they’re done haunting you. And honestly, I think that might be for the best.

https://jackmeat.com/oblivium-2025/

Keeper (2025) | A beautifully shot slow-burn horror that whispers threats all movie long, then politely declines to follow through. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Keeper is one of those films that hooked me early with mood, promise, and pedigree, then slowly drifts into stranger territory without ever fully cashing in on its ideas. Directed by Osgood Perkins, coming off recent genre standouts like Longlegs and The Monkey, this one had my attention well before release. The trailer teased something eerie and unsettling, the kind of distinct horror Perkins has been getting increasingly good at delivering. Unfortunately, while Keeper has flashes of that same atmospheric power, the story itself never quite keeps pace.

The film opens with a really disturbing, several-year-spanning montage of the things people do for love, punctuated by screaming, bloodied women. It’s effective, uncomfortable, and immediately signals that this won’t be some cozy cabin getaway story. From there, we follow Liz (Tatiana Maslany) and Malcolm (Rossif Sutherland) as they head off for a romantic anniversary weekend at a secluded cabin. Almost immediately, a conversation highlights the age difference between them, something the film clearly wants us to think about, but the casting doesn’t help sell it. Maslany and Sutherland look far too close in age for the dynamic the script is trying to establish. Oddly enough, Malcolm’s cousin Darren (Birkett Turton) and his date Minka (Eden Weiss) are a much clearer example of the imbalance the film seems interested in exploring.

Once Malcolm abruptly returns to the city, Liz is left alone at the cabin, and Keeper begins its slow descent into isolation and dread. Perkins does what he does best here, framing shots that subtly suggest something is off. Forests loom, shadows linger, and the camera frequently sits at odd angles or presses into tight spaces. Jeremy Cox’s cinematography is easily one of the film’s strongest assets, giving Keeper a hazy, hallucinatory feel that sustains tension even when the script falters.

There are genuinely disturbing moments scattered throughout, including a major “what the hell was that?” scene involving Minka in the woods that feels ripped straight from a nightmare. The film toys with multiple horror threads - serial killer implications, woodland creatures, monstrous figures, and even hints of witchcraft - but it never fully commits to one. Instead, these elements drift in and out, building atmosphere without delivering much payoff.

Maslany carries the film well and serves as its emotional and visual centerpiece. Her performance drives the story, especially as it becomes clear Liz may be more than just a victim. She also reflects manipulation as the story assigns her a “side piece” role. If you’ve ever been that woman, or felt like it, Keeper will probably resonate more deeply. For everyone else, the experience will likely land somewhere in the middle.

Nick Lepard’s script ultimately feels underdeveloped, especially compared to the confidence of the filmmaking. After the central mystery reveals itself, the film doesn’t do much with it, opting for ambiguity over escalation. While Perkins’ direction and Cox’s cinematography do a lot of heavy lifting, it’s hard for me not to feel disappointed given the director’s recent output.

Keeper isn’t a bad film - it’s an intriguing, well-shot one - but it’s a lesser entry in Perkins’ growing horror catalog. Creepy, slow, and occasionally unsettling, it builds tension beautifully, then lets it dissipate when it matters most.

Keeper (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/keeper-2025/

The Running Man (2025) | A modern but uneven update that nails the action and performances, even if the tone clashes with its darker themes. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. Going into The Running Man, I’ll admit my bias right up front: I really enjoyed the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger version, and I’m also a fan of Stephen King’s original Bachman novel. That’s a tricky balance for any remake or reimagining to navigate, and while this new take doesn’t always stick the landing, I thought it does enough right to justify its existence.

This reboot centers on working-class Ben Richards (Glen Powell), who struggles under a system that blacklists him from every job for trying to do the right thing and leaves him unable to afford basic medicine for his sick daughter. With no options left, Ben falls for a pitch from The Running Man producer Killian, whom Josh Brolin plays with charming but deadly intensity, and signs on as a contestant in the brutal game show.

The premise leans grim, and the film pushes its message about media manipulation and ideological control without subtlety. At times, the movie hammers the point so hard it resembles an anvil labeled “Lesson in So-Called Progress,” yet the idea of a country feeding on the spectacle of watching someone fall, or die, still packs a potent punch.

One of the film’s biggest strengths is its action. The chases and shootouts are shot clearly, with solid impact and choreography, and you can always tell what’s going on. When bullets are flying, the movie locked my attention, and there are several finely crafted action sequences that genuinely deliver. This isn’t shaky-cam chaos - it’s confident, readable action, which goes a long way in a movie like this.

Powell absolutely carries the film. His characterization of Ben Richards successfully projects a combination of desperate father, stiff-necked moral hero, and slightly deranged everyman who just might have a prayer in a fixed game of death. He possesses the gritty, visceral essence you can support him with, even when the film is hitting a low spot. While Brolin, in a different sort of evil, succeeds with a degree of corporate insanity.

The dystopian world itself is interesting: a media mega-corporation effectively running the country, AI-generated propaganda turning contestants into public enemies, and a society encouraged to hunt them down alongside professional killers. It’s dark, ugly, and depressingly plausible. That’s also where I saw the movie’s biggest issue creep in. This is material that really calls for a heavier, more serious tone. We’re dealing with poverty, desperation, and public executions as entertainment. And yet the film keeps dropping in jokes and light banter. Most of those jokes don’t land, and they undercut the gravity of what’s happening.

You can tell Edgar Wright was trying to walk the line between honoring the Stephen King book and satisfying fans of the original movie, and surprisingly, he mostly pulls that off. Even King himself praised the film, "He felt it captured the angry spirit of the original Bachman novel but updated it for a modern audience, noting the film was faithful enough for fans but fresh enough to keep him engaged."-Yahoo. That’s probably the best way to sum it up: flawed, uneven, but ambitious.

The Running Man (2025)

I won’t spoil anything, but the ending very much lets you have your cake and eat it too. It may not be the definitive Running Man, but it’s a solid, entertaining update that mostly earns its place in the conversation.

https://jackmeat.com/the-running-man-2025/

The Carpenter's Son (2025) | Ambitious and moody, but largely boring, this biblical-inspired flick provokes discussion far more than it provokes fear. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.8/10. I knew The Carpenter’s Son was going to be wrapped in controversy, whispers of blasphemy, and marketing hype that promises far more horror than the movie ever actually delivers. Directed and written by Lotfy Nathan and based on the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas, the film revisits the childhood of Jesus Christ through a darker lens, one that is clearly meant to unsettle. Whether it succeeds depends largely on what you’re expecting going in. I personally missed all the negative press down here, so I had hardly any expectations.

Set in Roman-era Egypt, the story follows a carpenter, his wife, and their young son, known only as “the Boy” (Noah Jupe) - as they live in hiding while supernatural forces circle closer. Nicolas Cage plays the Carpenter with a constant air of nervous restraint, a man weighed down by fear, responsibility, and an unspoken truth. The Boy, meanwhile, begins to question his guardian and rebel, discovering mysterious abilities that hint at something far beyond a normal coming-of-age arc. As these powers surface, the family finds itself facing both natural and divine horrors, eventually tipping the film into what could generously be called spiritual warfare.

I thought that the setting was one of the movie’s strengths. It is a dark, persuasive portrayal of living through such times. Both physically, with regard to lighting, sound, and so on, the movie often looks excellent, and the ambition of what is trying to be done is certainly evident. It is this notion that epic characters can be captured with raw humanity that the movie reveals with the greatest clarity of purpose. The father’s worry, mother’s stoic power, or boy’s temptation/rebellion are depicted effectively enough, aided by sound performances from everyone involved.

That said, the film has a major problem: it’s boring. For a movie that was hyped in some circles as shocking or terrifying, there’s very little here that qualifies as horror. Any “divine” threat remains largely abstract, and the sense of danger never truly escalates into something visceral or frightening. I can safely say the PR backlash and outcry surrounding the subject matter is by far the most intense thing about this release. This is not an early-Christ splatter film. Not even close. It plays more like a somber, slow-burn coming-of-age story with religious overtones - which, frankly, should surprise no one.

Interestingly, Isla Johnston’s Stranger is by far the most compelling character in the film. Whenever she’s on screen, there’s a spark of unpredictability and tension that the Boy himself often lacks. Her presence hints at a more unsettling movie lurking just beneath the surface, one that I never saw.

Ultimately, The Carpenter’s Son is an ambitious but uneven film. It will absolutely be a love-it-or-hate-it experience, largely because many viewers will judge it solely on its religious material. Some will cry blasphemy, others will embrace it simply because it challenges Christian iconography. Stripping all that away, what’s left is a thoughtfully made but underwhelming flick that succeeds more as a moody historical drama than as a horror movie. And judging it purely on its merits, not its controversy, it simply doesn’t have the bite its reputation suggests.

The Carpenter's Son (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/the-carpenters-son-2025/

Sweet Meats (2024) | Sweet Meats proves that when Troma goes country, the secret ingredient is still amusing and unsettling. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.6/10. Sweet Meats wastes absolutely no time telling you exactly what kind of ride you’re in for, and that ride smells faintly of grease, country twang, and questionable sanitation. Bobby Sweet (Ricky Glore) is a legendary country music figure and the smiling face of the wildly successful “Sweet Meats” restaurant chain, which he founded with his wife back in 1978. The question hanging over the entire film is simple: how did this roadside meat empire explode so fast, and what exactly makes the meat so…sweet? As the old saying goes, you’d probably be disgusted if you knew what you were really eating - and yes, that warning applies here in the most Troma way possible.

The movie kicks off with Bobby being interviewed by Kerry Swallows (Kaitlin Stephens Guenther), and it’s immediately clear this is going to be fun. When she mentions that the secret ingredient is “the people,” Bobby visibly tenses until she clarifies that she means the people who make the food. That nervous reaction isn’t accidental, and the film slowly lets you in on why. “Slowly,” unfortunately, is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. The story is broken into children’s book–style chapters, presumably to help us keep track of the “intricate” plot, which mostly involves eccentric characters, musical numbers, and a whole lot of stalling before the big reveal.

Jerry Gruoch (Timmy H. Barron) joins Bobby in one of his music videos and quickly becomes a focal point. He’s the intelligence-challenged son of restaurant owner Nick Gruoch (Andrew Gordon), and yes, the actors are roughly the same age, a choice the movie doesn’t even try to justify. While meeting the family, we also get Laddie (Eileen Earnest), the overbearing daughter who rounds out this aggressively uncomfortable family dynamic. The customers are a parade of oddballs with amusing quirks, and the film humorously credits nearly every song as part of the Sweet Meats original soundtrack, just in case you forget whose passion project this really is.

In classic Troma fashion, there’s an extended toilet-unclogging scene, because of course there is. The setup for how the restaurant got started is mildly amusing, but spending roughly 45 minutes circling the mystery of the secret ingredient feels excessive. When the truth finally arrives, it plays like a strange hybrid of Motel Hell and a low-budget country western musical. Surprisingly, the gore is pretty mild for a Troma release, which feels like a missed opportunity given the premise. The music isn’t remotely my thing, but I’ll admit the lyrics are often funny, even if the songs overstay their welcome.

Lloyd Kaufman pops up as Lloyd Duckwood in a fake TV commercial encouraging viewers to “get your suck on,” which is worth the price of admission for us Troma fans. Stick around through the credits for a bonus song, a band getting killed more violently than anything in the actual movie, and an extra video highlighting Jerry’s deeply weird obsession with bananas. Credit where it’s due: Ricky Glore stars, writes, directs, and performs the music, making Sweet Meats an undeniable passion project. If you love Troma humor, you’ll probably have a good time, even if this one lacks the studio’s signature creative gore, so don't expect another Toxic Avenger. It’s an acquired taste, and while there are stronger entries in the Troma library, there aren’t many that come with this much country-fried weirdness.

Sweet Meats (2024)

https://jackmeat.com/sweet-meats-2024/