Eenie Meanie (2025) | Samara Weaving carries Eenie Meanie with charm and a heavy foot in this fun streamer with a surprisingly satisfying ending. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. Samara Weaving once again proves she can carry just about any Straight-To-Streaming flick, including Eenie Meanie, on her shoulders. This time as Edie, a former teenage getaway driver who thought she’d retired from the life. Of course, that peace doesn’t last long. Her old boss, Nico (Andy Garcia, aging like a fine scotch but just as dangerous), drags her back for “one last job.” The incentive? Saving her ex-boyfriend John (Karl Glusman), who is less “worth saving” and more “human cautionary tale.”

The opening scene is sharp and funny, basically telling you everything you need to know about Edie in under five minutes. Honestly, I wish more movies respected my time like that. Unfortunately, everything after reminds us that this is one of those “if she just dumped the boyfriend, credits roll” situations. Edie spends the whole movie reminding us how much she supposedly hates John, but if she really did, she could’ve just walked away and gotten a latte instead. The dislike feels forced. My dislike, however? 100% authentic. Glusman nails the role of “walking liability you wouldn’t trust with car keys, let alone your life.” So yeah, kudos to him, I bought the incompetence wholesale.

Weaving, though, is why this works at all. She’s got the charm, the comedic timing, and the “I’m rolling my eyes but still saving your dumb ass” energy that makes Edie fun to watch. The humor is subtle but effective, like the kind of joke that sneaks up on you instead of screaming for attention. And yes, the movie has the classic heist montage—blues-rock soundtrack, everyone looking busy, plans being drawn up—because what’s a heist movie without a good montage?

Also, Marshawn Lynch shows up. Yes, that Marshawn Lynch. Hollywood clearly decided he deserves a side hustle beyond Skittles commercials, and honestly, he fits right in. He doesn’t steal the spotlight, but he does add a nice “wait, is that Marshawn Lynch?” jolt that works surprisingly well. The car chases are another highlight—refreshingly light on CGI and heavy on actual squealing tires. After years of watching video-game cutscenes disguised as action movies, this felt like a small victory.

Now, let’s be real, the middle does drag a little. It’s like the film stopped for a bathroom break and forgot to tell us. But when things pick back up, the action gets surprisingly violent, the humor returns, and suddenly you remember why you’re still watching. The supporting cast mostly sticks to their lane, tossing out jokes and keeping things from collapsing under John’s dead weight.

The ending, though, is where the film earns points. Without spoiling, I actually found myself hoping for a specific outcome, and the movie delivered. That almost never happens. Usually, these “one last job” movies play it safe, but this one actually took a small risk that paid off.

Eenie Meanie (2025)

At the end of the day, Eenie Meanie isn’t reinventing the wheel, but it’s got just enough charm, just enough bite, and plenty of Weaving doing her thing. It’s a decent streamer pick, and while I’m hoping she graduates from the STS cycle soon, she at least makes the ride worthwhile.

Looks like it is either Disney+ or Hulu for this one right now.

https://jackmeat.com/eenie-meanie-2025/

What Lurks Beneath (2024) | This flick teases Cold War paranoia and supernatural terror, but the biggest shock is the tubes hiding only one naked woman. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.2/10. The setup for What Lurks Beneath was immediately promising to me: the crew of the USS Titan finds itself teetering on the brink of World War III with Russia when a naked woman (Dela Reilley) mysteriously appears inside one of their torpedo tubes. It’s a hook that promises both political tension and supernatural menace, but unfortunately, the film struggles to deliver on either front.

The early moments set the stage well enough. Captain Banks (played with a stern if slightly flat performance by Ryan Giesen) fears the stowaway may be a Russian spy, while the crew reacts with varying levels of suspicion, curiosity, and dark humor. One quip—“Check the tubes,” while a crewmate responds “You hope we’re gonna find more naked women?”—actually drew a laugh out of me, and that brief levity gave me hope the film might balance its tension with some personality. And for a low-budget production, the setting is impressive. The interiors were shot on the decommissioned HMCS Ojibwa, a Cold-War era Canadian submarine, which adds an authentic layer of claustrophobia to the proceedings.

Director Jamie Bailey keeps things moving at a steady pace, and the production values are surprisingly solid. Where the film falters is in its squandered potential. The horror element—centered around the mysterious woman and her powers—is never given the spotlight it deserves. The claustrophobic environment of a submarine is practically begging for a suffocating, paranoid atmosphere, yet the script never fully exploits it. The discovered woman, played by Dela Reilley, is only ever credited as “HER,” and the film keeps circling around her abilities rather than diving into them. She communicates telepathically with crew members and exerts a strange influence, but the story never explores her character beyond the surface level.

What’s more frustrating is the script’s logic gaps. Finding a dry, naked woman inside a torpedo tube of a submerged submarine should immediately raise supernatural red flags, but the crew clings to the spy theory far too long. Sure, most sailors wouldn’t immediately jump to “mermaid,” but when you’ve got someone who can beam music into your skull and vanish crewmen without leaving a ripple, maybe broaden your suspect list a bit. And while we’re at it, even if she were a mermaid, her hair still should’ve been wet. That tiny detail bugged me more than it probably should have.

Instead of escalating panic, there’s a frustrating shrugging off of events that should feel catastrophic. When people start disappearing, no one seems particularly alarmed. The lack of urgency undermines what could’ve been a tense, slow-burn thriller. The idea was there, and the acting, while not spectacular, is serviceable enough to keep things afloat. But without sharper writing, stronger music to heighten suspense, and a commitment to its horror angle, What Lurks Beneath drifts into forgettable waters.

It’s not an outright disaster; the authenticity of the submarine and a few decent moments make it watchable. Still, it’s one of those films that leaves you more disappointed than entertained, because the concept could’ve been so much more. And poor Dela Reilley gets to input "HER" in this flick as a film credit on her IMDB resume.

What Lurks Beneath (2024)

Amazon has this one, but so do a few freebies, if you don't mind some ads.

https://jackmeat.com/what-lurks-beneath-2024/

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025) | Tom Cruise’s insane stunts anchor The Final Reckoning, a thrilling ride that dazzles visually but doesn’t completely satisfy as a finale. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.2/10. You’d think a 170-minute movie would have plenty of time to waste, but Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning sprints out of the gate and doesn’t look back. For something that clocks in at nearly three hours, it’s almost shocking how quickly it moves. The story is intricate, packed with moving parts, but still surprisingly easy to follow. Credit goes to the sharp editing that threads everything together without losing momentum. It’s clear the filmmakers wanted this to feel like the culmination of Ethan Hunt’s thirty-year journey, and in many ways, they pull it off—though maybe not quite as hard-hitting as one might expect from a grand finale.

Of course, the real selling point here is the action. Tom Cruise once again takes every opportunity to play Mr. Show-Off with his stunt work, and honestly, I’m not mad about it. Whether it’s leaping off impossible heights, riding vehicles where no sane person would, or holding his breath longer than a Navy SEAL, Cruise continues to prove he’s Hollywood’s most committed daredevil. Sure, the Fast and Furious franchise gets ribbed for ridiculous, physics-defying set pieces, but let’s not kid ourselves—the Mission: Impossible films are guilty of the exact same thing. The difference is, these stunts are both insane and staged so well you can’t help but buy in.

The cinematography, just as it was in Dead Reckoning, is nothing short of breathtaking. There are shots here that are simply jaw-dropping, and the underwater submarine sequence is a masterclass in tension. It’s one of those rare moments where I completely forgot the film’s narrative hiccups because I was so locked in. This is the kind of spectacle that demands the biggest screen possible, and it delivers on that front without question.

That said, there are issues. For one, the script leans heavily on exposition, so much so that I occasionally wanted to yell, “Enough talking, just throw Tom Cruise off another cliff already!” And while it’s fun to see familiar faces like Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg return, the film introduces so many additional characters that several of them feel like nothing more than pawns shuffled around the board. They’re there to keep the plot moving, not to give us anyone new to root for.

Then there’s the villain problem. Gabriel, played by Esai Morales, makes for a sinister presence, but his routine is frustratingly repetitive. He shows up, threatens or mansplains something, then disappears until the next scene, where he does the same thing again. It’s hard to feel the weight of the supposed ultimate adversary when his menace keeps fading into the background.

And that brings me to the finale. For a movie carrying the subtitle “The Final Reckoning,” it doesn’t quite land the emotional haymaker I was expecting. It’s still thrilling, still entertaining, but it doesn’t pack the kind of gut punch you’d hope for from the end of a thirty-year saga.

Even with those flaws, I can’t deny this is a wildly entertaining blockbuster. The tension, the stunts, the sheer spectacle—it’s everything you’d expect from a Mission: Impossible film, even if it stops just shy of greatness. Respect where it’s due: Tom Cruise keeps raising the bar, and for that alone, this ride is worth taking.

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025)

You can watch this one at home on Amazon, along with these streamers for theater pricing.

https://jackmeat.com/mission-impossible-the-final-reckoning-2025/

Dark Cuts: A Thriller Anthology (2025) | Dark Cuts promises thrills but delivers limp shorts and weak ideas, Skip it and rewatch Creepshow instead. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.2/10. “A pulse-pounding collection of five short films…” is what the official synopsis promises. What I got was five lukewarm shorts stitched together with all the energy of a Tuesday afternoon nap. Always a bad omen when a movie doesn’t even bother with a trailer on YouTube, and Dark Cuts lives up to that dread. Anthologies are usually a mixed bag, but this one feels like a bag that’s already been dropped, stepped on, and left behind at the bus stop.

First up is “We Do This Once.” It’s about an amateur bank robbery that has all the suspense of waiting in line at the DMV. They throw in a touch of backstory to make us care, but if you’re waiting for a clever twist—don’t. The “once” in the title is probably a warning that you should only watch this once, if that.

Next, “Hide Your Crazy.” This one actually had a tiny spark of life. A dating story with a weird little special effect they were clearly proud of. The result is fun enough, but calling it “thrilling” would be generous. Calling it the best of this whole mess is a very backhanded compliment.

Then comes “Flowers.” A surreal piece about a woman stuck in grief over her dead kid. At least, I think that’s what it was about. Either way, it’s like watching someone try to cosplay David Lynch after bingeing a few too many pretentious student films. PSA: You are not David Lynch.

“Heart to Heart” follows, and oh joy. A woman kidnaps her boyfriend’s mistress (probably), and what unfolds is a flat, tensionless slog. Bad acting, worse dialogue, and not a single beat of suspense. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a thriller without any thrills, here’s your chance.

Finally, we land on “When Buying a Fine Murder.” The setup: a hitman is hired to kill himself. Intriguing premise! But instead of running with it, they pile on pointless dialogue, sprinkle in psychedelic 70s visuals that make zero sense, and collapse under their own faux-cleverness. What could have been the standout ends up as another wasted idea.

Dark Cuts: A Thriller Anthology (2025)

There’s no wrap-around story to tie these shorts together, just PowerPoint-level title cards announcing each segment like you’re about to attend a middle school book report. It’s cheap, it’s clunky, and it never once delivers the “thriller” it promises. What we’re left with is the cinematic equivalent of a grocery store anthology cookie pack—you know, going in at least half of them will be stale.

My verdict: Dark Cuts is a grab bag of weak ideas, limp execution, and Amazon Prime filler energy. Save yourself the time and rewatch Creepshow or even a random Goosebumps episode instead.

Amazon is the only place in town to check this one out right now.

https://jackmeat.com/dark-cuts-a-thriller-anthology-2025/

Red Sonja (2025) | Red Sonja rises again with flair, but uneven visuals and flat fights dull the blade of her comeback. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.4/10. Way back when, I was a fan of the 1985 Red Sonja, or at least a fan of Schwarzenegger swinging a sword while Brigitte Nielsen tried her best to look like she could cut down an army. That movie was a glorious mess, but it had a certain pulp charm. Fast forward forty years, and Hollywood has unsheathed the sword again, handing the role of the She-Devil to Matilda Lutz. The question is: can this reboot slice through the curse of its predecessor, or does it end up swinging wildly in the dark?

The movie wastes no time throwing Sonja into peril. After crossing paths with Annisia (Wallis Day), a tormented warrior with imperial ambitions, Sonja finds herself defeated, beaten, and quickly imprisoned by the scheming emperor, played by Robert Sheehan—last seen (by me, anyway) wisecracking through Umbrella Academy. Sheehan brings the same smarmy energy here, which helps, but the script doesn’t give him nearly enough to work with.

It’s during Sonja’s trial-by-monster that the film tips its hand: a cyclops fight straight out of the SyFy Channel’s B-movie archives. I couldn’t help but grin at its absurdity. Some will see it as a cheap distraction, but I found it oddly entertaining. The strange part is how the rest of the movie looks perfectly fine. The set design is solid, the effects are decent, and the world feels lived-in—so why this one scene feels like it was outsourced to bargain-bin CGI remains a mystery. “Uneven” is the best word for the visual presentation throughout.

Story-wise, it trudges along the expected path: imprisonment, escape, chase, rinse and repeat. The music does its absolute best to trick you into thinking you’re watching an epic with booming orchestral swells so triumphant I half-expected hobbits to show up. By the time the credits rolled, I was convinced my speakers had wandered off into Lord of the Rings territory.

The fight choreography is a letdown, often more sluggish than savage. For a film promising the most feared warrior woman of all time, the battles feel like rehearsals rather than climaxes. Sonja herself doesn’t help matters. Lutz is competent, but she never fully inhabits the character. Anger often comes across as mild irritation, and the costume doesn’t exactly flatter her presence—though the film at least has a sense of humor about that. “And that protects?” she asks. “Nothing, absolutely nothing, but the crowd will LOVE it.” At least they knew the audience might laugh with them, not just at them.

Curiously, the film sports an R rating despite violence that barely rises above PG-13 territory. No nudity, no profanity that stuck out, and the blood is minimal. Perhaps the MPAA was feeling generous that day. At 110 minutes, the pacing drags more than it drives, and it could have easily shaved twenty minutes without losing anything important.

Red Sonja (2025)

Some will argue this reboot stands taller than the 1985 version. I’ll reserve judgment until I revisit that camp classic, but I’m skeptical. What I can say is that Red Sonja is not a disaster; it’s just a sword that doesn’t quite cut.

Amazon is the sole provider right now, and Plex has it coming on 08.29.25.

https://jackmeat.com/red-sonja-2025/

The A-Frame (2024) | The A-Frame mixes dark comedy with science fiction and flirts with horror, but feels more like an overstretched Black Mirror episode. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.9/10. Comedy-horror and cancer, two words you don’t usually see on the same line of a movie description. Yet that’s exactly where The A-Frame starts us off, and the result is an odd little film that feels like it isn’t quite sure whether it wants to gross us out, make us laugh, or tug at the heartstrings. Johnny Whitworth plays a quantum physicist who invents a machine that tunnels into a subatomic universe. In his attempt to prove the thing actually works, he stumbles onto a potential treatment for cancer after testing on rats. Naturally, his next move is to find human volunteers because nothing could possibly go wrong with rushing straight to human trials.

One of those potential subjects is Donna (Dana Namerode), a pianist who’s on the verge of losing her hand. That’s about as heavy a setup as you can drop into a film that’s billing itself as comedy-horror. You can feel the movie testing the waters of whether it wants to mine sympathy or irony out of her situation. Meanwhile, Nik Dodani’s Rishi brings some much-needed levity. His character is a wannabe comedian whose stand-up is so bad, it loops back around to being funny again—intentionally or not. At least someone here knows they’re in a dark comedy.

When the movie finally leans into the “comedy” part of its description, it actually delivers. I legit laughed out loud during the first full-body experiment, a moment that captures exactly the kind of macabre absurdity the film needed more of. Unfortunately, those highlights are few and far between. For most of its lean 82-minute runtime, the movie spins its wheels in science-fiction speculation without much story progression. Writer/director Calvin Reeder clearly owes a debt to Cronenberg’s The Fly, and not just thematically. From the body horror setup to the brooding scientist vibe, this feels a lot like a dollar-store remix of that classic.

That’s not to say The A-Frame doesn’t have its charms. Whitworth does a solid job selling his role as the slightly off-kilter physicist, and his final experiment gets a genuinely funny payoff. When the blood does show up, it shows up in buckets, though those moments are rare enough that gorehounds will probably feel short-changed. I know I did. It’s the kind of movie that teases chaos but spends most of its time meandering in a lab with characters who never quite escape their archetypes.

In the end, the movie feels like a Black Mirror episode that overstayed its welcome. The premise is clever enough, the humor is appropriately dark, and the low-budget execution is competent. But there just isn’t enough meat on the bone to justify its feature-length status. Trim it down by half and it could be a tight, biting little short. Or, better yet, pitch it to Jordan Peele for the next season of The Twilight Zone. As it stands, The A-Frame is worth a casual watch if you like your science experiments laced with blood and bad jokes, but don’t expect to walk away feeling anything stronger than a shrug.

The A-Frame (2024)

There are a handful of streamers carrying this flick, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/the-a-frame-2024/

Resident Alien (2021) | Resident Alien delivers quirky dark comedy with a bit of drama and Alan Tudyk’s hilarious performance. One of SyFy’s best shows. #jackmeatstv

My quick rating - 8.0/10. With SyFy announcing the surprise cancellation of Resident Alien, I thought it was time to give this wonderfully weird show a proper sendoff. Honestly, the cancellation shocked me; it always felt like it had solid ratings and a loyal fan base. But here we are, and at least we got four seasons of one of the most uniquely funny and heartfelt sci-fi comedies of recent years.

The story begins when crash-landed alien Harry (Alan Tudyk) assumes the identity of a small-town Colorado doctor. His mission is dark—wipe out humanity—but things go sideways when he’s pulled into solving a murder. From there, Harry’s “simple” cover life spirals into hilarious complications as he struggles to pass as human, all while wrestling with deeper questions: Are humans worth saving? Why do they fold their pizza before eating it? (don't worry, Harry, REAL pizza doesn't need that)

Alan Tudyk is the beating heart of the show, delivering one of the funniest deadpan performances I’ve seen in years. His emotionless cadence and awkward attempts at blending in never get old, whether he’s accidentally insulting someone, misunderstanding basic human customs, or casually debating mass genocide. Sara Tomko is fantastic as Asta, the moral anchor Harry desperately needs, and she brings warmth and charm to every scene. And then there’s Corey Reynolds as Sheriff Thompson—absolutely hysterical. Nearly every line he delivers lands with perfect comedic timing.

What makes Resident Alien work so well is how it balances tones. On one hand, it’s sharp, dark comedy—you’re often laughing at an alien who casually considers wiping out the human race. On the other hand, it’s surprisingly emotional and character-driven, with storylines about friendship, family, and identity. The chemistry between Harry and Max (Judah Prehn), the one kid who can actually see his true alien form, is another highlight. Their love-hate banter in the early seasons is pure gold.

Each season evolves Harry in meaningful ways. At first, he’s an outsider just learning how to act human. Later, he genuinely starts to care about people, even if he doesn’t always admit it. The writing team, led by Chris Sheridan, constantly found new ways to keep the concept fresh, mixing in twists, new conflicts, and just the right amount of sci-fi strangeness. The special effects? Not blockbuster-level, but charmingly fitting—sometimes purposefully goofy to match the show’s tone.

If there’s one consistent strength across all four seasons, it’s how the show manages to juggle comedy, drama, and sci-fi without tipping too far into any one lane. It’s quirky but not grating, heartfelt without being sappy, and dark without ever becoming unpleasant. That’s a rare mix, and Resident Alien nailed it.

Resident Alien (2021)

It’s a shame this is the end—there was clearly more ground to cover, more laughs to be had, and more alien awkwardness to enjoy. Hopefully, another network or streamer realizes what a gem this is and picks it up. Until then, Resident Alien stands as a hilarious, strange, and unexpectedly touching series that deserves far more attention than it got.

There are some streaming options and purchases as well, including Amazon for all 4 seasons.

https://jackmeat.com/resident-alien-2021/

American Cryptids (2025) | American Cryptids looks great with decent practical effects, but its messy script and flat storytelling turn promising horror into pure boredom. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.6/10. Sometimes a film can have all the right ingredients—monsters, family feuds, a sprinkle of magic, and even a dash of tragic romance—and still manage to come out tasting bland. American Cryptids is one of those frustrating cases. On paper, it’s a setup that should at least be entertaining: two warring families, one human and one not-so-human, caught in an uneasy attempt at peace. Inevitably, violence erupts. Unfortunately, instead of delivering a tight horror-drama, the film meanders, leaving more yawns than chills in its wake.

To give credit where it’s due, director Erynn Dalton clearly knows how to handle aesthetics. The production values are far above what you’d expect from a mid-tier creature feature, and the decision to stick with practical effects is a welcome one. Nothing looks overly cheap or distracting; the monsters, while mild in design, fit the budget and avoid the dreaded SyFy Channel look. From a purely technical standpoint, Dalton nails the presentation.

Where the movie falls apart is in its execution of the story and pacing. The script never gels into a coherent narrative. We’re told these families are locked in conflict, yet the film never truly shows us the weight or history of that war. Instead, we get bits and pieces, peppered with a limp Romeo-and-Juliet subplot that feels like an afterthought rather than a driving force. Actions happen, people die, skeletal hands get stolen, but very little of it carries consequence or clarity. You’re left watching events unfold without ever being invited to care about them.

The cast does what they can with the material. The acting is adequate—nobody embarrasses themselves—but there’s no spark to latch onto either. It’s the cinematic equivalent of polite small talk: serviceable, but unmemorable. The problem isn’t the talent on screen but the script they’re working from, which offers too little characterization and too much empty motion.

And that’s really the crux of American Cryptids. It isn’t a disaster. It isn’t laughably bad or insultingly cheap. Instead, it’s worse in some ways: boring. The promise of monsters and magic fizzles into long stretches of flat storytelling that sap the life out of what should have been a pulpy, fun ride. By the end, the bloodshed and claws feel like window dressing for a story that never figured out how to be engaging.

It’s a shame, because there are good elements here, practical effects, solid production values, even an earnest attempt at myth-making, but they never add up to something satisfying. I wanted to like this one, but American Cryptids just doesn’t work.

American Cryptids (2025)

I am not seeing any streamers for this one yet on JustWatch.

https://jackmeat.com/american-cryptids-2025/

Furie (2019) | A former gang leader fights through a brutal child trafficking ring to rescue her kidnapped daughter in this emotional martial arts thriller. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. If Furies leaned into stylized vigilante action and over-the-top brawls, Furie (Hai Phuong in its original title) strips things back to something rawer and more emotional. It’s the classic “you messed with the wrong kid” setup: when a child trafficking ring snatches a young girl, they unknowingly cross paths with her mother, Hai Phuong (Veronica Ngo), a retired gang leader who has both the will and the fists to tear through anyone standing between her and her daughter.

The story is straightforward, but it works because of the emotional stakes. Where Furies was about revenge in a broader, more stylized sense, Furie is laser-focused on a mother’s desperate fight. The film doesn’t need much exposition—once you understand who Hai Phuong is and what’s at stake, you know exactly where this ride is going. And even though the trajectory is familiar, Veronica Ngo sells it with a fierce combo of vulnerability and determination.

The fight choreography deserves a lot of credit. Unlike Furies, where the action occasionally took on a flashy, video game sheen, the battles in Furie feel dirtier and more believable. There’s still a high level of technical skill on display, but it’s grounded in the desperation of a woman fighting for her child rather than stylized spectacle. The train sequence is easily the highlight, a claustrophobic, relentless battle that ramps up both the physical intensity and the emotional stakes. It’s the kind of set piece that sticks with you and cements Ngo as a powerhouse on screen.

What also elevates Furie is the sense of scale. This isn’t just one kidnapping; Hai Phuong stumbles into a much larger child trafficking operation, which raises the stakes beyond her personal struggle. It never loses sight of the intimate mother-daughter bond at its heart, but the backdrop adds weight to the story. Watching Hai Phuong tear through street thugs and hardened criminals alike while carrying the emotional burden of possibly losing her child makes the fights hit harder.

Of course, with Furie and Furies being billed as connected, there’s the inevitable question: how? Veronica Ngo plays two completely different women across the films, and the connections are so flimsy that even IMDb seems confused about how to link them. The supposed “prequel” status of Furies feels more like a branding decision to me than an actual narrative link. In practice, the two films stand entirely on their own, and it doesn’t really matter which you watch first.

Taken on its own terms, Furie is a tightly executed martial arts thriller with heart. It capitalizes on Ngo’s screen presence and fighting skills while giving her a character you can actually root for. It’s not reinventing the genre, but it delivers where it counts: well-choreographed action mixed with emotion and a lead who carries the film with absolute conviction.

Furie (2019)

There are plenty of streamers to choose from, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/furie-2019/

Furies (2022) | Three women survivors trained by a mentor take revenge on abusive crime lords, unleashing stylish, fast-paced action and brutal, video-game-like brawls. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. Sometimes posters set you up for one kind of movie, only for the film to head in a completely different direction. Furies looks like it might be a Vietnamese spin on Charlie’s Angels, but once the opening unfolds with a brutal assault and the murder of a mother, it’s clear this is not a playful spy romp. This is a revenge-driven action flick with trauma and blood at its core. And as it turns out, it’s also a prequel to Furie from 2019, though, confusingly enough to me, the actual connections between the two movies are tenuous at best. Check back tomorrow for my review of that one.

The story follows Bi (Dong Anh Quynh), a young woman hardened by tragedy and drawn into a world where women band together to fight back against the oppressive, male-dominated underworld that destroyed their lives. She’s recruited by Jacqueline (Veronica Ngo), a survivor herself who has taken it upon herself to mold other damaged girls into weapons of vengeance. The formula is familiar—you’ve got the obligatory pop-song makeover montage, followed by intensive training sequences—but it works, giving Bi her entry point into the world of fists, blades, and vengeance.

Bi isn’t alone. She’s paired up with Thanh (Toc Tien) and Hai (Thuan Nguyen), two allies with scars of their own, who set their sights on dismantling the “Big 4.” These villains are stock crime-lord archetypes who each run their own illicit empire, but they’re unified by one thing: their vile treatment of women. The narrative doesn’t linger on melodrama for long; instead, it plunges into rapid-fire action.

The fight choreography is one of the movie’s biggest strengths. It’s fast, stylish, and occasionally exaggerated in a way that feels ripped from a video game. The motorcycle brawl is a prime example, silly enough to draw a smirk, but executed with such over-the-top flair that it works perfectly in context. A later gun-kata showdown blends CGI splatter with practical effects in a way that’s slick without crossing into cartoonish territory. What’s refreshing is that the heroines aren’t presented as invincible superheroes; they take their hits, they bleed, and they feel vulnerable, even while cutting down waves of opponents.

Of course, the movie leans on some familiar tropes. One of the villains gets romantically entangled with a heroine, injecting predictable tension into the mission. And by the end, a sharp twist underscores that in this world, everything—revenge, loyalty, survival—still circles back to money.

As a standalone, Furies delivers the goods: kinetic fight scenes, gritty atmosphere, and an empowering, if sometimes grim, throughline about women striking back. As a prequel to Furie, though, it’s a bit of a head-scratcher. The connections between the two films are so loose they feel almost non-existent, leaving you wondering if character names or roles were swapped around behind the scenes. Still, if you’re looking for a stylish, hard-hitting slice of Vietnamese action cinema, Furies doesn’t waste your time; it dives straight into the carnage and lets its fists do the talking.

Furies (2022)

I saw a big Netflix logo at the start so that is where you'll find it.

https://jackmeat.com/furies-2022/

House on Eden (2025) | Paranormal activity? More like paranormal stupidity. Shaky cam, loud mouths, and zero reason to haunt your watchlist. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.1/10. The sweet sound of the Shudder logo. That’s when you know you’re about to be blessed with another round of “three people find a dusty camera and decide to record their way into stupidity.” House on Eden doesn’t disappoint in that department; it practically sprints face-first into every found-footage cliché like it’s competing for a Guinness World Record in “Most Annoying Handicam Shake.”

The setup is simple: two shrill, grating female characters drag along a mostly silent dude into the woods to investigate a house. Great news, this is apparently the first time any of them have ever held a video camera. Instead of steady shots, we get warp-speed whip-pans like the camera operator is trying to swat invisible flies. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a paranormal investigation conducted by someone having a seizure with a GoPro, congratulations, this movie is your dream come true.

Once they reach the “abandoned” house in the middle of nowhere, I had to laugh. Every window shot screamed “quiet suburb with neighbors just off-camera.” At one point I’m 90% sure I saw porch lights across the way. But hey, don’t let that ruin the “isolation.” And yes, they black out, because why not? DO they try to resolve why it happened, why Jay (Jason-Christopher Mayer) pissed himself, or better yet, get the hell out of there? Nope, ignore it like any other plot point and forget it happened.

Oh, and my favorite bit: the wall-mounted commercial fire extinguisher spotted on the third floor at the 37-minute mark. Nothing screams “haunted ruin” like OSHA-approved safety equipment.

At least you'll be safe LOL

The real joy of House on Eden comes from how closely it resembles that South Park spoof of ghost hunters (Click for scene). Half the dialogue is just variations of “What was that? Did you hear that? Oh my God, something touched me!” All that’s missing is someone wetting themselves on cue. Oh, that's right, Jay pissed himself. They wander around with what looks like paranormal gear ordered straight off Temu, shouting “evidence” at static and some annoying beeping box. And naturally, they split up, because apparently no horror script is complete without someone saying, “Let’s cover more ground.”

The dialogue? Juvenile. The characters? Irritating. The camera work? Less “authentic” and more “baseball bat assault.” Seriously—no one records their friends by zipping the camera around like they’re filming an action sequence for The Flash. Yet here we are, stomachs churning as the footage spins like a carnival ride.

The ending almost redeems things—almost. There’s a decent little punch in the final two minutes, but it’s like slogging through a landfill to find a shiny soda can. Too little, way too late. And judging by the credits, this vanity project belongs to YouTuber Kristina Collins. To her credit (ha), she is the best part of the film, but that’s like saying she’s the least sticky piece of gum on the theater floor.

House on Eden (2025)

Final word? Even if House on Eden had been released 25 years ago, when “ghost hunters with cameras” still felt novel, it would have been a weak entry. Watching it in 2025? It’s an exercise in patience and neck endurance. Shame on me for putting this on my slider—I should’ve known better.

Matinee pricing on these streamers, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/house-on-eden-2025/

Superman (2025) | James Gunn’s Superman delivers a colorful, energetic reboot with strong performances, dazzling visuals, and my favorite, a scene-stealing Superdog. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.1/10. James Gunn had quite the uphill battle with Superman. After years of darker takes and endless reboots, he delivers a version that feels colorful, energetic, and alive. The film wastes no time reminding us that Superman may be near invincible, but he’s still a man first. Gunn sets the tone in the opening scene with Clark getting his ass handed to him. It’s both funny and clever, and it lets the audience know this Superman won’t be coasting through battles untouched.

David Corenswet steps into the cape with confidence. He balances strength and vulnerability in a way that makes Superman feel less like a flawless god and more like a person dealing with impossible expectations. His chemistry with Rachel Brosnahan’s Lois Lane is sharp and believable. Their relationship grounds the movie without ever slipping into melodrama. Nicholas Hoult’s Lex Luthor is another highlight. Instead of cartoonish villainy, his plot to frame Superman as a threat in order to score military contracts actually makes sense.

The modern twist of using A.I.-generated videos and social media to destroy Superman’s reputation is less convincing to me. In today’s world, people either believe everything online or nothing at all, so the middle ground Gunn tries to play with doesn’t quite land. It’s an odd choice, and while timely, it feels more like a gimmick than a true threat.

The supporting cast adds plenty of spark. Nathan Fillion shines as Guy Gardner, giving us a Green Lantern who is hilariously irritating yet strangely charming. Edi Gathegi’s Mr. Terrific constantly saves the day, sometimes more than Superman himself. That imbalance is one of the film’s bigger issues. Clark spends too much time getting rescued and not enough being the savior. Superman has always been cocky and assured, while Clark is meek and timid. Here, the two identities blend into the same personality, which makes him feel less distinct.

Visually, though, the movie is stunning. Gunn embraces a bright, vibrant style that makes the action sequences pop. The only time it strolls into a bleak and dark scenario is the pocket universe, which is already a bit too sci-fi for this flick. The concept of Superman recharging through solar “power-ups” is creative and works beautifully on screen. The special effects are polished, slick, and fun to watch. Krypto the Superdog is another scene stealer. Every time he’s on screen, he lightens the tone and draws attention away from the humans.

The downside is the sheer number of characters fighting for time. Morph is barely developed. Even Green Lantern feels rushed despite Fillion’s great performance. With so many powerful allies and threats in play, Superman himself sometimes feels like a guest star in his own movie.

Superman (2025)

Even with those flaws, Superman is a strong and entertaining reboot. Gunn manages to make the character feel fresh again while still honoring what makes him iconic. He doesn't push the envelope nearly as much as he did previously in The Suicide Squad, but it packs plenty of heart, humor, and dazzling action. Whether you’re a lifelong DC fan or just someone who loves superhero spectacle, this film is worth the watch. And let’s be honest—Krypto alone is worth the ticket.

You can watch this for theater pricing on Amazon, along with these streamers.

https://jackmeat.com/superman-2025/

Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025) | Leprechaun: The Beginning isn’t the beginning of anything. It is so bad that even Lucky Charms filed a restraining order. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 1.5/10. I am just guessing here, but I think writer Alessandro Di Giuseppe had just watched the original Leprechaun trilogy from the '90s and told director Rahul Gandhi, "Yeah, let's do NONE of that." And that is how we were graced with Leprechaun: The Beginning.

The story, if you can call it that, follows a family who “discovers” a treasure box of gold in their dead dad’s house. And by discovers, I mean they find it sitting there like an oversized lunchbox. Cue family greed, yelling, and some of the most wooden acting since the Home Depot lumber aisle. Seriously, every “daughter” looks like she’s 28, and somehow they’re supposed to be children like the Brady Bunch. Watching this cast try to play “family” is like watching a group of strangers pretend to bond in an airport layover.

And then there’s our star—the Leprechaun. Once upon a time, Warwick Davis gave us a pint-sized camp icon dripping in mischievous menace. Now? We get… whatever this is. He’s the same height as everyone else, sometimes looks like a hipster who fell asleep in a Halloween clearance aisle, and in half the scenes, his makeup looks unfinished, like the FX guy went on strike mid-shoot. His hands are flesh-toned, his face looks vaguely like a lizard, and in at least one baffling moment, he’s apparently a vampire. Yes, a vampire. Because nothing screams “leprechaun” like bloodless heart-ripping.

Oh, and about that—this has to be the first movie in horror history where someone gets their heart yanked out and not a single drop of blood is spilled. What did they do, dry clean it first? The practical effects here are a crime. Plastic toy knives wobble like they’re auditioning for a Dollar Tree commercial. The makeup is so static, I half expected it to peel off if the actors sneezed.

The pacing? Exquisite. If by “exquisite” you mean 87 minutes of dead air filled with slow-motion stair descents, wooden line deliveries, and tension-free stalking scenes where the biggest fear is someone tripping over a tripod. And then comes the ending, a laughably anticlimactic fizzle that made me genuinely angry that I had devoted an hour and a half of my life to this train wreck.

I’ll admit, nostalgia had me half-excited. I just ran across the 1992 original remastered with pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston, and sure, it was silly and campy, but it owned its ridiculousness. I will have to rewatch that one soon, just to remind myself how bad this one is. This new “beginning” is just… painful. Painful in that way where you want to fast-forward this #turkey but don’t, because you need proof of how bad it actually gets.

Final verdict: Leprechaun: The Beginning isn’t the beginning of anything. It’s the middle of a franchise burial, the end of your patience, and a cinematic Irish curse that leaves you wishing for those 87 minutes back. All-around bad shit, all I can say. This only rounds up to a "2" because I have seen THAT many garbage movies in my day. That is not a compliment.

Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025)

Amazon is one of a few streaming options. If you need the torture, I suggest the free one, Tubi LOL.

https://jackmeat.com/leprechaun-the-beginning-2025/

How to Train Your Dragon (2025) | How to Train Your Dragon (2025) soars as a stunning, heartfelt retelling filled with breathtaking visuals and an excellent cast. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. On the windswept isle of Berk, dragons and Vikings have been sworn enemies for generations, locked in a cycle of fear and fire. Enter Hiccup (Mason Thames), a wiry misfit with a knack for defying tradition, who turns everything upside down when he befriends Toothless, the Night Fury every Viking has been taught to fear. This live-action retelling of the DreamWorks classic How to Train Your Dragon doesn’t just revive the tale, it reimagines it with a scope that feels both familiar and refreshingly new.

The movie opens with a sweeping introduction to Berk and its dragon-ravaged world, pulling us straight into the clash of steel and flame. The CGI work is absolutely stunning, particularly the dragons, which balance realism with just enough fantasy to capture the magic. The early dragon fights, especially the battle with the monstrous queen dragon, are exhilarating, reminding me a lot of the scale and chaos of my recent VR sessions in Skydance’s Behemoth. Except here, instead of hacking beasts apart, the story is about understanding and bonding with them, which admittedly makes for a much warmer payoff.

Casting is spot-on. Mason Thames captures Hiccup’s awkwardness and ingenuity without leaning into caricature, while Nico Parker steps in as Astrid with grit and a sharp edge that perfectly balances her role as friend, rival, and eventual ally. Seeing her break away from The Last of Us into a different fantasy setting was a treat. Gerard Butler returns to Viking form, absolutely owning the role of Stoick, Hiccup’s overbearing father. His commanding presence adds both strength and humor, making the father-son conflict feel authentic and emotional rather than tropey.

Director Dean DeBlois, returning to helm this adaptation, clearly understands the heartbeat of the story. What makes the film soar (literally) is the way it handles its iconic moments. The flight training sequences, the romantic mid-air escape, and of course the unforgettable first flight scene between Hiccup and Toothless, are breathtakingly choreographed and backed by John Powell’s soaring score. The music isn’t just background; it’s a narrative voice all its own, carrying the emotional weight of discovery, loss, and triumph.

Visually, the film is jaw-dropping. Berk feels lived-in, weathered, and authentic, while the dragons blend seamlessly into the rugged Viking landscapes. Thanks to Bill Pope, the fire-lit night battles against the Alpha dragon showcase the perfect marriage of practical set design and CGI wizardry.

I went in with mild expectations—this is, after all, a live-action remake of a beloved “kids movie.” But by the time the credits rolled, I was surprised at how much it worked on me. The relationships feel genuine, the themes of empathy and understanding ring loudly, and the spectacle is pure cinematic joy. If I had one complaint, it’s only that my darker instincts wished the dragons went full scorched-earth on the Vikings at least once—graphic carnage isn’t exactly in the kids’ menu, though.

How to Train Your Dragon (2025)

In short: How to Train Your Dragon is a faithful yet invigorated retelling that doesn’t just ride nostalgia—it earns its wings with heart, spectacle, and craft. Even for skeptics, this one is worth the flight.

This one is on Amazon, along with these streamers for theater pricing.

https://jackmeat.com/how-to-train-your-dragon-2025/

Conjuring Tapes (2025) | The creepiest part of Conjuring Tapes isn’t the demon or the cult, it’s realizing the movie has the exact ending that you predicted. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.5/10. Conjuring Tapes kicks off with the kind of premise horror fans can sniff out a mile away: two women (Brenda Yanez and Samantha Laurenti) sorting through their late friend’s belongings stumble onto a pile of mysterious VHS tapes. You already know the rules: if you find unmarked horror tapes in a box, you put them back, torch the house, and move. But no, our leads do the polite horror movie thing and press play, thereby punching their ticket for a slow train to doom.

The first tape serves as a nostalgic PSA reminding us that the gateway to the afterlife can, in fact, be purchased at any game store near you courtesy of Hasbro. For the budget, the scares are decently pulled off—cheap, yes, but competent enough. Not a bad start, though the story has all the edge of a butter knife.

Next, we meet a “professional” paranormal investigator. We know he’s professional because he actually says, “You have seen my videos.” (Yes, the ultimate resumé line.) His portion mostly features bad acting, cheap jump scares, and an abandoned office where a possessed woman chases him around like it’s a low-rent Scooby-Doo gag. Still, it’s the segment that introduces the connecting thread: the women watching these tapes keep seeing themselves in the footage, even though they weren’t there. Cue the ominous “dun dun, duuuuun” noise.

The third tape? Therapy session gone wrong. Hypnosis summons an entity named Mr. Magpie (who sounds more like a rejected Saturday morning cartoon villain than pure evil). The concept isn’t terrible, but the acting doesn’t sell it. Think less “psychological terror,” more “community theater warm-up exercise.”

Then things take a left turn into cult territory. We get a PSA for the SRO, followed by a podcast dissecting their nonsense, which makes the film feel less like a horror anthology and more like a Vice documentary on weird groups meeting in barns. And honestly? That part almost works. The sermon, delivered by Lori Richardson, is the one moment that feels grounded and creepy enough to be believable. Unfortunately, the whole cult angle gets shoved aside for—you guessed it—a crappy found footage chase through dark tunnels.

Finally, we arrive at the wraparound story, which ties everything up with a bow so obvious that if they’d chosen any other ending, I would’ve applauded out of pure shock. But no, we get the predictable finale that the script has been telegraphing from minute one.

Conjuring Tapes (2025)

Conjuring Tapes isn’t the worst anthology I’ve seen; it has a couple of fun ideas and a cult sermon that feels disturbingly real, but between limp acting, predictable structure, and found footage clichés, it’s nothing I’d recommend. If you’re hunting for hidden gems in the bargain bin, you could do worse. But you could also just rewatch V/H/S and save yourself the déjà vu.

You can rent it on Amazon or check it out for free with ads on Tubi.

https://jackmeat.com/conjuring-tapes-2025/

Diamond Dogs (2025) | Diamond Dogs delivers old-school heist vibes with eccentric crooks, hit-or-miss humor, and just enough charm to mask its recycled tropes and convenient twists. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Every heist flick these days seems to think audiences love déjà vu. Diamond Dogs kicks off with a tense “later in the movie” scene, only to slam us with the dreaded “four months earlier” title card. This framing device has become the genre’s comfort food, predictable but serviceable. Director Kris Smith clearly figured if it worked for every other heist movie in the last decade, why not toss it in again? (Now that this trope has bled into horror flix, I am growing tired of it)

From there, we meet Paul Canterbury (Nick Elliott), a jewel thief who’s equal parts strategist and eccentric uncle. He starts recruiting the usual suspects: Rick (Andy Blithe), his ride-or-die buddy; Byte Size (Steve Knight), the hacker with more ego than bandwidth; Troy (Leonardo Martin), the muscle with all the personality of a protein shake; and Colin Bell (Mark Wells), who’s… an Uber driver. Yes, the guy who probably has a 4.8 rating and a trunk full of stale air fresheners is somehow critical to this diamond heist. Rounding out the crew is Adriana (Anja Kick), the daughter of a deceased mate who initially rejects the offer but practically has “I’ll be back in Act 2” tattooed on her forehead.

The middle act is a buffet of montages set to upbeat music—clearly Kris Smith’s cinematic love language. The planning stretches on, sometimes too long, and while the film’s two-hour runtime allows for plenty of banter, a tighter cut would have made the build-up snappier. Somewhere in the mix, the film flirts with Going in Style vibes, except instead of sweet old-timers robbing a bank for pension money, these guys just want a single social influencer's safety deposit box. Lofty goals, gang.

When the heist finally arrives, about thirty minutes of runtime are left. The execution is fun but peppered with narrative shortcuts that feel more like the script saying, “Eh, close enough.” Naturally, no heist movie is complete without betrayal, backstabbing, or at least one “I didn’t see that coming!” moment—though here, you probably did.

Tonally, the film wobbles between cheeky humor and earnest crime drama. Some jokes land fine, others feel like they were written exclusively for a UK pub crowd, and a few are so dry you’ll need a drink just to swallow them. Still, the cast has chemistry, and their banter at least keeps things lively. Technically speaking, the film is solid: no shaky-cam disasters, no bargain-bin sound editing. The only hiccup is the mystery man on video whose accent is so thick you’d think he was auditioning for a submarine role.

In the end, Diamond Dogs isn’t trying to be Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, or whatever number we’re up to now. This film and Smith know it can’t compete on that scale. It’s a scrappy little heist flick with some fun characters, a couple of laughs, and just enough style to make it work on its own modest terms. And yes, it leaves the door cracked for a sequel, because apparently we can’t have just one diamond job anymore.

Diamond Dogs (2025)

Thanks to Kris Smith for sending this one over for an early look. Best of luck with the release—you’ve got a fun, old school heist flick on your hands.

This will be released on September 1st so I'll leave this JustWatch link here for future use.

https://jackmeat.com/diamond-dogs-2025/

Bait (2025) | Bait is a B-budget basement creature feature that’s about as scary as a damp sponge. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.1/10. If you’ve ever wanted to see what happens when a monster movie, a family drama, and a bad driver's ed simulation collide, Bait is here to answer the question nobody asked. The Herring family (yes, that’s their actual name… subtlety died in pre-production) sets off for a family get-together, only to get into a car accident so bizarrely staged it looks like the director borrowed someone’s GoPro and filmed it in their driveway. Instead of airbags, the wreck delivers them straight into a basement of doom, complete with a caged monster and its very committed human zookeeper.

From here, you’d expect tension, panic, maybe a little screaming, but the Herrings react to the flesh-eating abomination like it’s just another awkward family dinner guest. “Oh, that’s Gary, the cannibal monster in the corner. Don’t make eye contact, kids.” Watching them sit stone-faced as the creature chews through its victim is almost as unsettling as the creature itself. Almost.

To the film’s credit, the monster’s design isn’t half bad—its face has that good old-fashioned “nightmare fuel” quality. The practical effects mostly work, too, though the CGI blood splatters scream, “We only had $49 left in the budget.” The story, meanwhile, didn't exactly keep me on edge. It’s more of a “background noise while folding laundry” experience. The family inside debates how to escape; the family outside searches for their missing sister; and somehow, neither storyline manages to generate much suspense.

And then there’s the mysterious overseer, who treats the monster like a pet. Feeding time is his big scene, but don’t expect answers like what the monster is, where it came from, or why anyone thought this script needed a sequel setup. Yeah, yeah, I know what they were alluding to about the creature, but there is never anything to put these pieces together. The only real mystery is why everyone involved seemed so calm about it.

Ultimately, Bait is exactly what the poster promises: a B-budget basement creature feature that’s about as scary as a damp sponge. Forgettable, a little goofy, and nowhere near terrifying. But hey, if you’ve ever wanted to watch a family quietly vibe with a hungry monster, here’s your chance.

Bait (2025)

Do I recommend it? Only if you need something to make you appreciate the acting skills in Sharknado.

There are only a few streamers to pick from, one of which is Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/bait-2025/

Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice (2025) | A bleak, stage-like take on the Sweeney Todd tale that makes the most of its budget, but adds little new to the legend. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice isn’t trying to reinvent the razor, just polish it up a bit with limited funds and an admirable sense of purpose. Set in 1846 London, this latest adaptation of the vengeful barber tale stays close to the mythos, centering on Sweeney Todd (Terry Bird), who teams up with pie-making partner-in-crime Mrs. Lovett (Jo Dyson) to carve out their own brand of justice against a corrupt judge.

Right off the bat, you can tell the filmmakers stretched their modest budget as far as it would go, and surprisingly, it mostly works. The sets aren’t lavish, but they’re just atmospheric enough to sell the bleakness of lower-class Victorian London. It feels a bit like watching a stage production, and that theatrical vibe permeates everything from the lighting to the blocking. Whether that’s a stylistic choice or just a limitation, it ends up being one of the film’s better features.

Jo Dyson gives a fairly strong turn as Mrs. Lovett, clearly leaning into the twisted humor of the character, and while Terry Bird has his moments as Todd, his performance can be uneven. Certain line deliveries and emotional reactions feel off, either underplayed or oddly timed. That said, in the context of this near-play-like presentation, it doesn’t derail the experience, just tempers it.

The story itself is faithful, if a bit tired. If you’ve seen any version of Sweeney Todd, you know what’s coming. This take doesn’t do much to expand or innovate on the source material. What it does do is use flashbacks effectively to build Todd’s seething rage, adding a bit of narrative weight behind the bloodletting.

Speaking of which, the gore is present but toned down, more red syrup than shocking splatter. You won’t be wincing at the effects, but you also won’t be laughing at them, which, in a film with this budget, is a small victory. The severed limbs and meat pie ingredients are clearly Halloween store props, but they get the job done without pulling too much focus.

Director Steven M. Smith deserves credit for paying attention to detail. It’s clear he wanted to evoke something dark and atmospheric without veering into parody or cheap-looking schlock. He mostly succeeds, especially in creating a mood that carries the viewer through a familiar tale. That said, the film doesn’t add anything fresh to the legend of Sweeney Todd—it simply revisits it with a stripped-down approach.

Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice (2025)

In the end, Slice & Dice is a grim, modest retelling that feels more like a solid community theater production than a groundbreaking film. It’s better than expected, but still nothing new.

JustWatch finally has some options for you, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/sweeney-todd-slice-dice-2025/

Abraham's Boys (2025) | If you’re streaming this at home, don’t get too comfortable since you’ll be asleep long before anyone so much as flashes a wooden stake. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.6/10. Abraham’s Boys is proof that you can take a legendary vampire hunter, give him a change of scenery, a couple of moody sons, and still somehow produce a film with the pulse of a fainting goat.

We open with Abraham Van Helsing (Titus Welliver) fleeing Europe after the events of Dracula and relocating to rural California circa 1915. At least, that’s what the wardrobe department says. The costume design nails the early 1900s vibe, but I’m not entirely sold on the idea that this dusty stretch of countryside had the electrical infrastructure of downtown Manhattan. Sure, maybe it’s possible, but so is the existence of vampires, and one of those felt more believable here.

From the get-go, the Shudder logo pops up, a warning sign for anyone who knows it’s a coin flip between “hidden gem” and “nap time.” Unfortunately, this one lands solidly in “nap time,” with fade-outs so abrupt they feel like someone edited out the commercials from a Hallmark rerun.

The setting is intimate — and by “intimate,” I mean the entire movie takes place at the Van Helsing home. Sounds cozy? It’s not. This isn’t the action-packed, monster-bashing Van Helsing you know; it’s more of a “watch some people talk about things that might happen eventually” kind of vibe. In an 89-minute film, nothing noteworthy happens for over an hour, which is a pacing ratio only appreciated by sloths and insomniacs desperate for a cure.

Now, credit where it’s due: the cinematography is gorgeous. If there was an Oscar for “Best Camera Work in a Movie Where Nothing Happens,” this would be a frontrunner. Sadly, stunning visuals can only do so much when the script is thinner than Dracula’s reflection. The story skips right over any buildup of tension between father and sons and leaps straight into “Dad’s nuts.” No subtlety. No wavering loyalties. Just… well, wham, bam, Van Helsing’s a crazy man.

Aurora Perrineau appears briefly as a settler but might as well have been a piece of set dressing for all the impact her character has. The standout, and I use that term generously, is Brady Hepner as Max, the older brother. He at least seemed awake while delivering his lines, which is more than I can say for Titus Welliver’s very American take on a man who’s supposed to be from London.

Abraham's Boys: A Dracula Story (2025)

Bottom line: if you’re streaming this at home, don’t get too comfortable since you’ll be asleep long before anyone so much as flashes a wooden stake.

There are several streamers to choose from, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/abrahams-boys-2025/