Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025) | Leprechaun: The Beginning isn’t the beginning of anything. It is so bad that even Lucky Charms filed a restraining order. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 1.5/10. I am just guessing here, but I think writer Alessandro Di Giuseppe had just watched the original Leprechaun trilogy from the '90s and told director Rahul Gandhi, "Yeah, let's do NONE of that." And that is how we were graced with Leprechaun: The Beginning.

The story, if you can call it that, follows a family who “discovers” a treasure box of gold in their dead dad’s house. And by discovers, I mean they find it sitting there like an oversized lunchbox. Cue family greed, yelling, and some of the most wooden acting since the Home Depot lumber aisle. Seriously, every “daughter” looks like she’s 28, and somehow they’re supposed to be children like the Brady Bunch. Watching this cast try to play “family” is like watching a group of strangers pretend to bond in an airport layover.

And then there’s our star—the Leprechaun. Once upon a time, Warwick Davis gave us a pint-sized camp icon dripping in mischievous menace. Now? We get… whatever this is. He’s the same height as everyone else, sometimes looks like a hipster who fell asleep in a Halloween clearance aisle, and in half the scenes, his makeup looks unfinished, like the FX guy went on strike mid-shoot. His hands are flesh-toned, his face looks vaguely like a lizard, and in at least one baffling moment, he’s apparently a vampire. Yes, a vampire. Because nothing screams “leprechaun” like bloodless heart-ripping.

Oh, and about that—this has to be the first movie in horror history where someone gets their heart yanked out and not a single drop of blood is spilled. What did they do, dry clean it first? The practical effects here are a crime. Plastic toy knives wobble like they’re auditioning for a Dollar Tree commercial. The makeup is so static, I half expected it to peel off if the actors sneezed.

The pacing? Exquisite. If by “exquisite” you mean 87 minutes of dead air filled with slow-motion stair descents, wooden line deliveries, and tension-free stalking scenes where the biggest fear is someone tripping over a tripod. And then comes the ending, a laughably anticlimactic fizzle that made me genuinely angry that I had devoted an hour and a half of my life to this train wreck.

I’ll admit, nostalgia had me half-excited. I just ran across the 1992 original remastered with pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston, and sure, it was silly and campy, but it owned its ridiculousness. I will have to rewatch that one soon, just to remind myself how bad this one is. This new “beginning” is just… painful. Painful in that way where you want to fast-forward this #turkey but don’t, because you need proof of how bad it actually gets.

Final verdict: Leprechaun: The Beginning isn’t the beginning of anything. It’s the middle of a franchise burial, the end of your patience, and a cinematic Irish curse that leaves you wishing for those 87 minutes back. All-around bad shit, all I can say. This only rounds up to a "2" because I have seen THAT many garbage movies in my day. That is not a compliment.

Leprechaun: The Beginning (2025)

Amazon is one of a few streaming options. If you need the torture, I suggest the free one, Tubi LOL.

https://jackmeat.com/leprechaun-the-beginning-2025/

How to Train Your Dragon (2025) | How to Train Your Dragon (2025) soars as a stunning, heartfelt retelling filled with breathtaking visuals and an excellent cast. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. On the windswept isle of Berk, dragons and Vikings have been sworn enemies for generations, locked in a cycle of fear and fire. Enter Hiccup (Mason Thames), a wiry misfit with a knack for defying tradition, who turns everything upside down when he befriends Toothless, the Night Fury every Viking has been taught to fear. This live-action retelling of the DreamWorks classic How to Train Your Dragon doesn’t just revive the tale, it reimagines it with a scope that feels both familiar and refreshingly new.

The movie opens with a sweeping introduction to Berk and its dragon-ravaged world, pulling us straight into the clash of steel and flame. The CGI work is absolutely stunning, particularly the dragons, which balance realism with just enough fantasy to capture the magic. The early dragon fights, especially the battle with the monstrous queen dragon, are exhilarating, reminding me a lot of the scale and chaos of my recent VR sessions in Skydance’s Behemoth. Except here, instead of hacking beasts apart, the story is about understanding and bonding with them, which admittedly makes for a much warmer payoff.

Casting is spot-on. Mason Thames captures Hiccup’s awkwardness and ingenuity without leaning into caricature, while Nico Parker steps in as Astrid with grit and a sharp edge that perfectly balances her role as friend, rival, and eventual ally. Seeing her break away from The Last of Us into a different fantasy setting was a treat. Gerard Butler returns to Viking form, absolutely owning the role of Stoick, Hiccup’s overbearing father. His commanding presence adds both strength and humor, making the father-son conflict feel authentic and emotional rather than tropey.

Director Dean DeBlois, returning to helm this adaptation, clearly understands the heartbeat of the story. What makes the film soar (literally) is the way it handles its iconic moments. The flight training sequences, the romantic mid-air escape, and of course the unforgettable first flight scene between Hiccup and Toothless, are breathtakingly choreographed and backed by John Powell’s soaring score. The music isn’t just background; it’s a narrative voice all its own, carrying the emotional weight of discovery, loss, and triumph.

Visually, the film is jaw-dropping. Berk feels lived-in, weathered, and authentic, while the dragons blend seamlessly into the rugged Viking landscapes. Thanks to Bill Pope, the fire-lit night battles against the Alpha dragon showcase the perfect marriage of practical set design and CGI wizardry.

I went in with mild expectations—this is, after all, a live-action remake of a beloved “kids movie.” But by the time the credits rolled, I was surprised at how much it worked on me. The relationships feel genuine, the themes of empathy and understanding ring loudly, and the spectacle is pure cinematic joy. If I had one complaint, it’s only that my darker instincts wished the dragons went full scorched-earth on the Vikings at least once—graphic carnage isn’t exactly in the kids’ menu, though.

How to Train Your Dragon (2025)

In short: How to Train Your Dragon is a faithful yet invigorated retelling that doesn’t just ride nostalgia—it earns its wings with heart, spectacle, and craft. Even for skeptics, this one is worth the flight.

This one is on Amazon, along with these streamers for theater pricing.

https://jackmeat.com/how-to-train-your-dragon-2025/

Conjuring Tapes (2025) | The creepiest part of Conjuring Tapes isn’t the demon or the cult, it’s realizing the movie has the exact ending that you predicted. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.5/10. Conjuring Tapes kicks off with the kind of premise horror fans can sniff out a mile away: two women (Brenda Yanez and Samantha Laurenti) sorting through their late friend’s belongings stumble onto a pile of mysterious VHS tapes. You already know the rules: if you find unmarked horror tapes in a box, you put them back, torch the house, and move. But no, our leads do the polite horror movie thing and press play, thereby punching their ticket for a slow train to doom.

The first tape serves as a nostalgic PSA reminding us that the gateway to the afterlife can, in fact, be purchased at any game store near you courtesy of Hasbro. For the budget, the scares are decently pulled off—cheap, yes, but competent enough. Not a bad start, though the story has all the edge of a butter knife.

Next, we meet a “professional” paranormal investigator. We know he’s professional because he actually says, “You have seen my videos.” (Yes, the ultimate resumé line.) His portion mostly features bad acting, cheap jump scares, and an abandoned office where a possessed woman chases him around like it’s a low-rent Scooby-Doo gag. Still, it’s the segment that introduces the connecting thread: the women watching these tapes keep seeing themselves in the footage, even though they weren’t there. Cue the ominous “dun dun, duuuuun” noise.

The third tape? Therapy session gone wrong. Hypnosis summons an entity named Mr. Magpie (who sounds more like a rejected Saturday morning cartoon villain than pure evil). The concept isn’t terrible, but the acting doesn’t sell it. Think less “psychological terror,” more “community theater warm-up exercise.”

Then things take a left turn into cult territory. We get a PSA for the SRO, followed by a podcast dissecting their nonsense, which makes the film feel less like a horror anthology and more like a Vice documentary on weird groups meeting in barns. And honestly? That part almost works. The sermon, delivered by Lori Richardson, is the one moment that feels grounded and creepy enough to be believable. Unfortunately, the whole cult angle gets shoved aside for—you guessed it—a crappy found footage chase through dark tunnels.

Finally, we arrive at the wraparound story, which ties everything up with a bow so obvious that if they’d chosen any other ending, I would’ve applauded out of pure shock. But no, we get the predictable finale that the script has been telegraphing from minute one.

Conjuring Tapes (2025)

Conjuring Tapes isn’t the worst anthology I’ve seen; it has a couple of fun ideas and a cult sermon that feels disturbingly real, but between limp acting, predictable structure, and found footage clichés, it’s nothing I’d recommend. If you’re hunting for hidden gems in the bargain bin, you could do worse. But you could also just rewatch V/H/S and save yourself the déjà vu.

You can rent it on Amazon or check it out for free with ads on Tubi.

https://jackmeat.com/conjuring-tapes-2025/

Diamond Dogs (2025) | Diamond Dogs delivers old-school heist vibes with eccentric crooks, hit-or-miss humor, and just enough charm to mask its recycled tropes and convenient twists. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Every heist flick these days seems to think audiences love déjà vu. Diamond Dogs kicks off with a tense “later in the movie” scene, only to slam us with the dreaded “four months earlier” title card. This framing device has become the genre’s comfort food, predictable but serviceable. Director Kris Smith clearly figured if it worked for every other heist movie in the last decade, why not toss it in again? (Now that this trope has bled into horror flix, I am growing tired of it)

From there, we meet Paul Canterbury (Nick Elliott), a jewel thief who’s equal parts strategist and eccentric uncle. He starts recruiting the usual suspects: Rick (Andy Blithe), his ride-or-die buddy; Byte Size (Steve Knight), the hacker with more ego than bandwidth; Troy (Leonardo Martin), the muscle with all the personality of a protein shake; and Colin Bell (Mark Wells), who’s… an Uber driver. Yes, the guy who probably has a 4.8 rating and a trunk full of stale air fresheners is somehow critical to this diamond heist. Rounding out the crew is Adriana (Anja Kick), the daughter of a deceased mate who initially rejects the offer but practically has “I’ll be back in Act 2” tattooed on her forehead.

The middle act is a buffet of montages set to upbeat music—clearly Kris Smith’s cinematic love language. The planning stretches on, sometimes too long, and while the film’s two-hour runtime allows for plenty of banter, a tighter cut would have made the build-up snappier. Somewhere in the mix, the film flirts with Going in Style vibes, except instead of sweet old-timers robbing a bank for pension money, these guys just want a single social influencer's safety deposit box. Lofty goals, gang.

When the heist finally arrives, about thirty minutes of runtime are left. The execution is fun but peppered with narrative shortcuts that feel more like the script saying, “Eh, close enough.” Naturally, no heist movie is complete without betrayal, backstabbing, or at least one “I didn’t see that coming!” moment—though here, you probably did.

Tonally, the film wobbles between cheeky humor and earnest crime drama. Some jokes land fine, others feel like they were written exclusively for a UK pub crowd, and a few are so dry you’ll need a drink just to swallow them. Still, the cast has chemistry, and their banter at least keeps things lively. Technically speaking, the film is solid: no shaky-cam disasters, no bargain-bin sound editing. The only hiccup is the mystery man on video whose accent is so thick you’d think he was auditioning for a submarine role.

In the end, Diamond Dogs isn’t trying to be Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, or whatever number we’re up to now. This film and Smith know it can’t compete on that scale. It’s a scrappy little heist flick with some fun characters, a couple of laughs, and just enough style to make it work on its own modest terms. And yes, it leaves the door cracked for a sequel, because apparently we can’t have just one diamond job anymore.

Diamond Dogs (2025)

Thanks to Kris Smith for sending this one over for an early look. Best of luck with the release—you’ve got a fun, old school heist flick on your hands.

This will be released on September 1st so I'll leave this JustWatch link here for future use.

https://jackmeat.com/diamond-dogs-2025/

Bait (2025) | Bait is a B-budget basement creature feature that’s about as scary as a damp sponge. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.1/10. If you’ve ever wanted to see what happens when a monster movie, a family drama, and a bad driver's ed simulation collide, Bait is here to answer the question nobody asked. The Herring family (yes, that’s their actual name… subtlety died in pre-production) sets off for a family get-together, only to get into a car accident so bizarrely staged it looks like the director borrowed someone’s GoPro and filmed it in their driveway. Instead of airbags, the wreck delivers them straight into a basement of doom, complete with a caged monster and its very committed human zookeeper.

From here, you’d expect tension, panic, maybe a little screaming, but the Herrings react to the flesh-eating abomination like it’s just another awkward family dinner guest. “Oh, that’s Gary, the cannibal monster in the corner. Don’t make eye contact, kids.” Watching them sit stone-faced as the creature chews through its victim is almost as unsettling as the creature itself. Almost.

To the film’s credit, the monster’s design isn’t half bad—its face has that good old-fashioned “nightmare fuel” quality. The practical effects mostly work, too, though the CGI blood splatters scream, “We only had $49 left in the budget.” The story, meanwhile, didn't exactly keep me on edge. It’s more of a “background noise while folding laundry” experience. The family inside debates how to escape; the family outside searches for their missing sister; and somehow, neither storyline manages to generate much suspense.

And then there’s the mysterious overseer, who treats the monster like a pet. Feeding time is his big scene, but don’t expect answers like what the monster is, where it came from, or why anyone thought this script needed a sequel setup. Yeah, yeah, I know what they were alluding to about the creature, but there is never anything to put these pieces together. The only real mystery is why everyone involved seemed so calm about it.

Ultimately, Bait is exactly what the poster promises: a B-budget basement creature feature that’s about as scary as a damp sponge. Forgettable, a little goofy, and nowhere near terrifying. But hey, if you’ve ever wanted to watch a family quietly vibe with a hungry monster, here’s your chance.

Bait (2025)

Do I recommend it? Only if you need something to make you appreciate the acting skills in Sharknado.

There are only a few streamers to pick from, one of which is Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/bait-2025/

Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice (2025) | A bleak, stage-like take on the Sweeney Todd tale that makes the most of its budget, but adds little new to the legend. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice isn’t trying to reinvent the razor, just polish it up a bit with limited funds and an admirable sense of purpose. Set in 1846 London, this latest adaptation of the vengeful barber tale stays close to the mythos, centering on Sweeney Todd (Terry Bird), who teams up with pie-making partner-in-crime Mrs. Lovett (Jo Dyson) to carve out their own brand of justice against a corrupt judge.

Right off the bat, you can tell the filmmakers stretched their modest budget as far as it would go, and surprisingly, it mostly works. The sets aren’t lavish, but they’re just atmospheric enough to sell the bleakness of lower-class Victorian London. It feels a bit like watching a stage production, and that theatrical vibe permeates everything from the lighting to the blocking. Whether that’s a stylistic choice or just a limitation, it ends up being one of the film’s better features.

Jo Dyson gives a fairly strong turn as Mrs. Lovett, clearly leaning into the twisted humor of the character, and while Terry Bird has his moments as Todd, his performance can be uneven. Certain line deliveries and emotional reactions feel off, either underplayed or oddly timed. That said, in the context of this near-play-like presentation, it doesn’t derail the experience, just tempers it.

The story itself is faithful, if a bit tired. If you’ve seen any version of Sweeney Todd, you know what’s coming. This take doesn’t do much to expand or innovate on the source material. What it does do is use flashbacks effectively to build Todd’s seething rage, adding a bit of narrative weight behind the bloodletting.

Speaking of which, the gore is present but toned down, more red syrup than shocking splatter. You won’t be wincing at the effects, but you also won’t be laughing at them, which, in a film with this budget, is a small victory. The severed limbs and meat pie ingredients are clearly Halloween store props, but they get the job done without pulling too much focus.

Director Steven M. Smith deserves credit for paying attention to detail. It’s clear he wanted to evoke something dark and atmospheric without veering into parody or cheap-looking schlock. He mostly succeeds, especially in creating a mood that carries the viewer through a familiar tale. That said, the film doesn’t add anything fresh to the legend of Sweeney Todd—it simply revisits it with a stripped-down approach.

Sweeney Todd: Slice & Dice (2025)

In the end, Slice & Dice is a grim, modest retelling that feels more like a solid community theater production than a groundbreaking film. It’s better than expected, but still nothing new.

JustWatch finally has some options for you, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/sweeney-todd-slice-dice-2025/

Abraham's Boys (2025) | If you’re streaming this at home, don’t get too comfortable since you’ll be asleep long before anyone so much as flashes a wooden stake. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.6/10. Abraham’s Boys is proof that you can take a legendary vampire hunter, give him a change of scenery, a couple of moody sons, and still somehow produce a film with the pulse of a fainting goat.

We open with Abraham Van Helsing (Titus Welliver) fleeing Europe after the events of Dracula and relocating to rural California circa 1915. At least, that’s what the wardrobe department says. The costume design nails the early 1900s vibe, but I’m not entirely sold on the idea that this dusty stretch of countryside had the electrical infrastructure of downtown Manhattan. Sure, maybe it’s possible, but so is the existence of vampires, and one of those felt more believable here.

From the get-go, the Shudder logo pops up, a warning sign for anyone who knows it’s a coin flip between “hidden gem” and “nap time.” Unfortunately, this one lands solidly in “nap time,” with fade-outs so abrupt they feel like someone edited out the commercials from a Hallmark rerun.

The setting is intimate — and by “intimate,” I mean the entire movie takes place at the Van Helsing home. Sounds cozy? It’s not. This isn’t the action-packed, monster-bashing Van Helsing you know; it’s more of a “watch some people talk about things that might happen eventually” kind of vibe. In an 89-minute film, nothing noteworthy happens for over an hour, which is a pacing ratio only appreciated by sloths and insomniacs desperate for a cure.

Now, credit where it’s due: the cinematography is gorgeous. If there was an Oscar for “Best Camera Work in a Movie Where Nothing Happens,” this would be a frontrunner. Sadly, stunning visuals can only do so much when the script is thinner than Dracula’s reflection. The story skips right over any buildup of tension between father and sons and leaps straight into “Dad’s nuts.” No subtlety. No wavering loyalties. Just… well, wham, bam, Van Helsing’s a crazy man.

Aurora Perrineau appears briefly as a settler but might as well have been a piece of set dressing for all the impact her character has. The standout, and I use that term generously, is Brady Hepner as Max, the older brother. He at least seemed awake while delivering his lines, which is more than I can say for Titus Welliver’s very American take on a man who’s supposed to be from London.

Abraham's Boys: A Dracula Story (2025)

Bottom line: if you’re streaming this at home, don’t get too comfortable since you’ll be asleep long before anyone so much as flashes a wooden stake.

There are several streamers to choose from, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/abrahams-boys-2025/

The Ugly Stepsister (2025) | A darkly comic reimagining of Cinderella told from the ugly stepsister’s view, blending body horror and twisted fairy-tale charm. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.2/10. In a fairy-tale kingdom where beauty is a cutthroat business, The Ugly Stepsister takes the familiar “Cinderella” story, feeds it a tapeworm, and lets it writhe into something darkly hilarious. Elvira (Lea Myren) is not your standard glass-slippered heroine, she’s the one living in the shadow of her dazzlingly beautiful stepsister Agnes (Thea Sofie Loch Næss), and she’ll do whatever it takes to catch the prince’s eye. And yes, “whatever it takes” in this kingdom might include some… questionable dieting methods. The Shudder logo at the start is your first clue this won’t be a pastel-colored Disney sing-along.

Writer/director Emilie Blichfeldt sets the tone with lavish costumes, authentic set design, and a wicked sense of humor. The presentation of the virgins to the prince is both amusing and unnervingly sinister, showing off the film’s perfect blend of satire and discomfort. It’s a bleak, razor-sharp portrait of beauty and ugliness, one that keeps you constantly wondering who’s going to win the prince. Spoiler: You won’t know for sure until the very end.

Ane Dahl Torp plays the requisite evil stepmother, exploiting her children’s looks for fame and fortune. Totally unrealistic, of course. I mean, what mother today would exploit their child for their own gain? (Cue sarcasm.) The film doesn’t shy away from body horror either; while it never veers into all-out gorefest territory, it offers enough cringe-inducing modifications to make you squirm. The moral? Don’t give yourself a tapeworm to lose weight. Even in a fairy tale, that’s a terrible plan.

Myren’s lead performance is wonderfully layered, both pitiful and cunning, while Loch Næss brings an unnerving perfection to Agnes, the kingdom’s golden girl. The supporting cast nails every beat, delivering a darkly comic yet unsettlingly plausible reimagining of a classic story.

Sure, I wish the horror elements had been dialed up just a notch, but that’s a minor gripe in an otherwise wonderfully made movie. The Ugly Stepsister is twisted and visually gorgeous, offering a fairy-tale world you’ll want to visit. Just maybe not during mealtime.

The Ugly Stepsister (2025)

There are several streamers carrying this flick, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/the-ugly-stepsister-2025/

Restless (2025) | We've all had (or been) the annoying neighbor, and this "thriller" delivers a no burn as I found myself Restless waiting for the end. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.4/10. When hard-partying, volatile neighbors move in next door, a quiet woman’s life starts to spiral, triggering a slow, unnerving descent into obsession and revenge. At least, that’s what the synopsis for Restless promises. What we actually get feels more like being trapped in a lukewarm puddle of mild inconvenience.

The film kicks off with one of those overused openings that flashes forward to some dramatic moment before slapping a “One Week Earlier” tag on the screen. And, as usual, knowing exactly where things are headed robs the story of any potential suspense before it even gets going.

Lyndsey Marshal plays the woman, Nicky, at the center of it all, a quiet neighbor driven mad by the endless thumping bass and general jerk behavior next door. Unfortunately, her character makes one bad decision after another, the kind of moves that make you roll your eyes rather than root for her. If this is meant to be a “slow burn,” then it’s the kind of slow burn where the match never even catches.

The film has somehow been labeled as horror, but there’s nothing remotely horror-adjacent here, no real tension, no escalating threat, and no sense of dread. It’s just a static situation: annoying neighbor refuses to turn down the music, and Nicky gets increasingly agitated in ways that feel strangely flat. The trip to supposed madness is uneventful, marked by muted reactions and long stretches where nothing much happens at all.

The premise could have set the stage for something nastier, or at least cathartic, but the resolution lands with a dull thud. The ending is so matter-of-fact that my only reaction was, “Wait, that’s it?” I kept holding out hope for a final-act spark—maybe a dark twist or a satisfying burst of violence—but no dice.

Most of us can relate to the pain of living next to an obnoxious neighbor, but Restless somehow delivers less than the average person would probably do in that situation. At just 89 minutes, it’s mercifully short, yet I still found myself getting pretty damn restless waiting for it to end.

Restless (2025)

Amazon is one of several streamers to watch this on.

https://jackmeat.com/restless-2025/

Gazer (2025) | A noir thriller that loses its way, Gazer ends up more of a gaze-off into space than a gripping story. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.5/10. Frankie (Ariella Mastroianni) is a young mother with dyschronometria, a condition that makes her perception of time about as reliable as a clock from a bargain bin. To keep herself grounded, she relies on cassette tapes as a kind of analog GPS for her daily life. But bills don’t pay themselves, so when a mysterious woman (Renee Gagner) offers Frankie a “can’t-miss” job opportunity, she jumps at it because clearly nothing bad ever happens when strangers in noir thrillers such as Gazer hand you envelopes full of money.

The premise sets up nicely for a lean, absorbing noir mystery: a desperate woman, a shady job, and double crosses. Unfortunately, that’s not the film we get. Instead, writer/director Ryan J. Sloan stuffs the narrative full of extra ingredients—like a chef who can’t stop adding “just one more spice”—and ends up with a stew that’s more confusing than flavorful. Surreal dream sequences drift in and out, featuring some genuinely unsettling, Cronenberg-lite imagery that hints Sloan has seen Videodrome more than once. While they might work in a pure horror or psychological thriller, here they mostly gum up the pacing and leave you wondering whether you’ve missed a plot point or just accidentally nodded off.

Stylistically, Gazer tries to channel an early ’80s vibe, wide street shots that creep toward the subject, synth-heavy cues that scream “something tense is about to happen,” and a general sense of urban decay. The aesthetic mostly works, at least until the overstuffed plot drags you back into frustration. The cast is passable but never exceptional, delivering performances that get the job done but won’t be making my year-end “best of” list.

The trouble really sets in around the halfway mark. The film starts strong enough, but the tangle of unrelated subplots and underdeveloped ideas soon becomes a ball and chain on the story’s ankle. Scenes that should build tension instead meander, as if the movie itself is suffering from dyschronometria and has lost track of how much runtime is left. By the time the climax rolls around, you realize the “climax” is more of a shrug, capped off with a non-ending so unsatisfying it could serve as the dictionary example of “anticlimax.”

Sloan, to his credit, shows flashes of promise behind the camera. His eye for certain compositions and his willingness to lean into weirdness suggest there’s a better film in his future—one that hopefully trims the fat and trusts the core story to stand on its own. At 114 minutes, though, Gazer feels like a long walk to nowhere, complete with detours, dead ends, and a few eerie dream alleys that, while intriguing, don’t actually lead to the main road.

Gazer (2025)

Amazon, along with this list of streamers, is carrying this one for you.

https://jackmeat.com/gazer-2025/

The Pickup (2025) | A solid heist and fun performances make this 80s-flavored action comedy worth a watch, even if the story doesn’t break new ground. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.8/10. If you’re looking for realism, turn around now. But suppose you’re down for a ridiculous, fast-paced armored truck caper with a nostalgic '80s energy and a crew that actually seems to be enjoying themselves. In that case, The Pickup delivers a fun, if forgettable, ride.

Eddie Murphy and Pete Davidson pair up as mismatched armored truck drivers, Russell and Travis, who find their routine cash pickup spiraling into chaos when they’re ambushed by a crew of criminals led by Keke Palmer’s no-nonsense Zoe. The initial heist scene is tightly choreographed, with just enough tension and gunplay to get your pulse up, and thankfully not buried under a mountain of CGI nonsense. It's sleek, fun, and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Keke Palmer does a fine job chewing the scenery as the brain behind the robbery, walking the line between dangerous and reluctant killer. She’s clearly enjoying herself, and it rubs off on the rest of the cast. Murphy still has the charm, and Davidson’s usual deadpan weirdness actually complements the script well—surprisingly decent chemistry between the two.

Now, if you’re like me and your eyes drifted up during the credits, you might’ve done a double take seeing names like Roman Reigns and Andrew Dice Clay. Reigns shows up briefly as an MMA champ (blink and you'll miss him), and Dice Clay gets a few lines as the dispatcher but never gets to let loose in that classic, over-the-top Dice way. A bit of a waste, but hey, fun cameos all the same.

Writers Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider keep the script moving with a very “screenwriting 101” kind of plot, no surprises, but at least everything clicks into place. It’s like someone watched any Fast and Furious sequel and Heat back-to-back and decided to mash them together, minus the budget of either. And you know what? It kind of works.

This isn’t Oscar bait or genre-defining, but it is a good excuse to grab a bucket of popcorn, unplug your brain, and remember what it felt like to catch an action comedy on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Just enough punch, flash, and snark to get the job done.

The Pickup (2025)

This one is a Prime Video exclusive, so sign up now to check it out.

https://jackmeat.com/the-pickup-2025/

River of Blood (2024) | A missed right turn at Albuquerque takes a cast you hope gets eaten into a non-threatening jungle and chased by cannibals. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.7/10. River of Blood is a survival horror that paddles into promising territory, then promptly flips the raft and floats downstream into mediocrity. We get four insufferable kayakers who took the absolute wrong turn into a Thai jungle and then continued making bad decisions like it was a team sport. And the jungle itself? Safer than a weekend at a campground. No snakes, no insects, no dehydration, just a few dramatic stares and some very convenient plot developments.

Instead, the real danger here is the cannibal tribe… and by “danger,” I mean a group of dudes in khaki shorts and face paint from Party City. These guys don’t exactly scream “ancient flesh-eating menace” so much as “backstage extras at Coachella who got lost.”

Did I mention the plot? Or rather, the canoe-shaped husk of what could have been a plot. Four people—each one more annoying than the last—decide to kayak into a mysterious jungle. Not for science, not for tourism, but apparently for the sole purpose of bickering and betraying one another like they're auditioning for a reality show called Survivor: Dumbass Edition. And when things inevitably go south, we’re supposed to be surprised that the tribe (again, looking like a summer camp cosplay group) shows up to turn the group into jungle burgers.

The flick wants to be a suspenseful, blood-soaked descent into primal terror, but let’s be real: these cannibals play with their food more than a toddler with chicken nuggets. There's no dread, no real tension, just characters stumbling around the jungle like they’re trying to find a cell signal, while the tribe politely gives them time to monologue and fall into rivers.

Ella Starbuck’s Maya is the only character with even a molecule of likability, possibly because she refrains from constant whining or plotting someone else's demise. The others? It’s honestly a relief when they start getting picked off. I’ve seen mosquito bites with more charm. Also, two motorcyclists show up for reasons unclear, possibly to boost the body count? Nope. They're just… there like NPCs who wandered into the wrong cutscene.

Now, to the film’s credit: gorgeous cinematography. Seriously. Rungroj Park Rojanachotikul knows what they’re doing. The Thailand backdrops are lush, immersive, and so vibrant they practically upstage the cannibals (which, trust me, isn’t hard). Even the CGI blood splatter isn’t half bad when it shows up—if a little video-gamey.

But the real issue is believability. You're telling me there’s a known tribe of people-eaters with protected status, and somehow tour groups are still paddling within GPS-wobble range? And the local government is just like, “Oh, don’t mind them, they’re just old-fashioned”? Also, if I’m heading into any jungle, you better believe I’m bringing more than a granola bar and unresolved personal grudges.

Bottom line: River of Blood is a great-looking movie with decent acting, stuck inside a bland and logic-impaired script. It never commits to horror, never shocks, and worst of all, never really entertains. It’s not awful enough to be funny, not scary enough to be chilling, and not gory enough to satisfy your inner Cannibal Holocaust gremlin.

River of Blood (2024)

Amazon is one of several streamers carrying this one for ya.

https://jackmeat.com/river-of-blood-2024/

The Last GunFight (2025) | A fast-paced, blood-soaked tournament flick with solid action, a few twists, and just enough absurdity to keep it entertaining. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. In The Last GunFight, the premise is about as subtle as a hammer to the skull: fighters from all over the world are pitted against each other in a death tournament with vague rules, lots of blood, and a puppet master pulling strings behind the curtain. It’s a setup we've seen before, but to its credit, this film knows exactly what it is and leans hard into it.

From the jump, you’re hit with dialogue so cheesy it could either be parodying trashy reality shows or earnestly trying to match their tone. It's tough to tell, and that ambiguity ends up being part of the movie's oddball charm. Within minutes, we’re introduced to the tournament, its bizarre broadcast format, and a handful of character archetypes that range from the expected (the angry priest, the cocky wildcard, the vengeful parent) to the outright bizarre.

Speaking of vengeful parents, The Last GunFight somehow convinced Jon Voight to show up and deliver what can only be described as a paycheck performance. He plays a father on a mission, and if you can't guess the motivation the moment someone says “father,” you might want to revisit a few old revenge flicks. Still, Voight manages to elevate the trope slightly just by being, well, Jon Voight.

The movie's biggest surprise is probably Sam Symons’ Jimmy, a textbook dork with a secret savage streak. Sure, it’s telegraphed from the moment he steps onscreen, but his transformation is played with such wide-eyed intensity that it becomes oddly satisfying. Likewise, Shaina West once again proves she’s got the chops (and the kicks) to be an action mainstay. After The Killer’s Game, it’s fun to watch her wreak havoc on a new set of opponents. More of these two and less of the failed romance subplot, and we could've been going somewhere.

Writer Steven Paul and director James Bamford do attempt to inject some narrative twists into the formula, and while a few hit, others feel tacked on to delay the inevitable slugfest. Fortunately, they know better than to let the plot slow down the violence for too long. At just 89 minutes, the movie races through its runtime like it’s dodging a punch, and the pace rarely lets up.

My shout-out goes to the "gun round." Yes, that’s a thing — where the action choreography shifts into overdrive. It's ridiculous in the best way, and the film actually manages to pull off some impressive visuals, especially considering how often these kinds of low-budget bloodsport flicks rely on laughably bad CGI. Here, the blood effects are surprisingly fluid and less distractingly digital than expected.

Still, there’s a limit to how much gloss you can slap on a B-movie brawler. The Last GunFight never breaks out of the genre’s constraints, and it doesn’t seem particularly interested in doing so. But for fans of underground death match mayhem with a few plot curveballs and a solid dose of carnage, it delivers just enough to be worth a watch, especially if you keep those expectations in check. Just don't expect any of the actors to mess up their hair in the process.

And who knows? Maybe one day these reality shows within the movie will get greenlit in real life. When they do, we might all have to reckon with the uncomfortable truth that it isn’t just the rich tuning in.

The Last GunFight (2025)

Amazon is one of the many streamers carrying this flick.

https://jackmeat.com/the-last-gunfight-2025/

Together (2025) | I'd suggest going in blind for this romantic body horror with strong performances from real-life couple Franco and Brie, blending humor with transformation. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.7/10. Together is one of those films where the less you know going in, the better. It lures you in with a familiar setup, a city couple struggling to reconnect while adjusting to life in the countryside. Then peels back its skin, quite literally, to reveal something far stranger and more unsettling underneath. What starts as a relationship drama slowly morphs into a romance, a dark comedy, and then full-tilt body horror.

Real-life couple Dave Franco and Alison Brie headline the film, and their off-screen chemistry translates effortlessly to the screen. They feel believable, and oddly endearing even when things get... sticky. You can tell they trust each other completely, which they’d absolutely have to in order to pull off some of the intimate (and grotesque) moments this story throws at them. It’s a film that asks a lot from its leads, both emotionally and physically, and they’re more than up to the challenge.

The horror here is deeply personal and very physical. Without giving too much away, the film explores transformation, not just metaphorically in the relationship sense, but literally, in ways that squirm under your skin. The practical effects are solid, but it's the sounds—cracking, pulpy, slithery noises—that will rattle around in your head long after the credits roll. If you're new to body horror or easily freaked out, this could be an excellent (and traumatizing) gateway film. That said, veterans of the genre might find the horror a little tame or familiar.

What sets Together apart is its willingness to break the tension. Just as the anxiety creeps toward unbearable, the film cuts it with an awkward joke or a genuinely sweet moment. At times, this works brilliantly, giving us a breath before plunging back into discomfort. Other times, it diffuses the horror so much that it loses bite. That tonal balancing act of romance, comedy, and horror all fighting for dominance won’t work for everyone, but it does make the film more accessible than your average gore-soaked nightmare.

The plot loosely follows a cult or folk-horror thread, enough to keep things interesting, though the mythology feels intentionally vague. It’s really Franco and Brie who carry the weight here. Their performances inject warmth and realism into a film that, by all accounts, should be anything but warm or real.

There’s a twist to this film’s originality (see below), so it may not have been as original as I initially assumed. Still, Together manages to do something interesting with its concept, blending humor, horror, and romance in a way that’s rare. It won’t be for everyone, but if you’re curious and can go in blind, it’s a memorable little genre-bender that deserves a look... preferably with the lights off and your dinner finished.

"The Australian horror film Together, starring Alison Brie and Dave Franco, is facing a copyright infringement lawsuit in the US. The lawsuit, filed by the producers of the 2023 film Better Half, claims that Together is a "blatant rip-off" of their movie."

Together (2025)

Right now, heading to the cinema is your best bet, or wait for streamers, preferably Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/together-2025/

40 Acres (2025) | 40 Acres is a new Canadian, post-apocalyptic, farming action/thriller. I bet you didn't see that coming? #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. In 40 Acres, Canadian writer-director R.T. Thorne makes a bold leap from TV to feature filmmaking, and the result is a genre-blending post-apocalyptic action drama that mostly hits its mark. Set in a famine-ravaged future where farmland is the world’s most precious commodity, the film follows Hailey Freeman (Danielle Deadwyler) and her family—the last descendants of African American farmers who migrated to rural Canada after the Civil War—as they defend their inherited land from a ruthless militia and a world gone cannibalistic.

The film opens with a static text scroll that dumps some necessary exposition about the global collapse and the high value of arable land. It gets the job done, but it’s a bit of a dry kickoff for a movie that later leans into some very vivid, visceral moments. A touch more world-building, something visual, atmospheric, or character-driven, would have helped immerse me in this future reality more organically.

What follows, however, is a kinetic introduction to the stakes at play, with an early action sequence that sets the tone and wastes no time showing that this family is armed and deadly serious about protecting their land. The world beyond the farm is chaos, patrolled by savage human scavengers and, most notably, organized groups of cannibals, the primary antagonists here. No zombies or aliens needed; just humanity in its worst form.

Danielle Deadwyler is committed and commanding as Hailey, a hard-edged matriarch whose militaristic leadership style doesn’t exactly invite warmth. She’s not meant to be likable, and that’s kind of the point. She’s all discipline, running her family like a battalion, because that’s what survival now demands. It’s a performance that won’t appeal to everyone, but Deadwyler makes it believable.

Of the ensemble, Leenah Robinson as Raine, the sniper daughter, is my standout. Her quiet intensity and calculated precision give her some of the film’s best moments, and her character arc has more emotional complexity than most. The rest of the cast fills out a diverse and solid family unit, each member playing their role in the larger machine.

Stylistically, Thorne juggles a surprising mix of tones—action, horror, dark humor, religious drama, even a touch of coming-of-age and kidnapping thriller—and somehow makes it work. There's one extended sequence shot largely in darkness that’s especially effective, using muzzle flashes, sound, and tension that really added a bit of flair to the standard shoot-out. It’s one of several moments where Thorne’s visual instincts really shine.

If there’s a weakness, it’s in the pacing. Some scenes linger longer than necessary, and the film occasionally dips into melodrama without quite earning it. Still, the 113-minute runtime feels justified thanks to a final act that kicks into high gear and barely lets up.

40 Acres doesn’t reinvent the post-apocalyptic wheel, but it’s a strong, grounded entry in the genre that trades clichés for character. There’s no gloss here, just dirt, desperation, and a family clinging to the last thing that matters. Thorne’s debut is promising, and if this is what he delivers straight out of the gate, you can count me in on what is coming next.

40 Acres (2025)

You have several streamers to pick from, including Amazon.

https://jackmeat.com/40-acres-2025/

The Damned (2025) | This bleak ghost story is a moody, visually arresting slice of Icelandic horror that will get under your skin. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.0/10. Kicking off with a lone woman trudging through a whiteout, The Damned wastes no time setting its tone—bleak, cold, and oppressive. Fitting, considering I just got power back after nearly 27 hours without it, thanks to what this town dares call a snowstorm. Compared to the visual avalanche director Thordur Palsson throws at us, my weather woes seem like a light dusting.

Set in the 19th-century Icelandic Westfjords, a location that feels practically tailor-made for supernatural horror, the story centers on Eva (Odessa Young), a recent widow grappling with the moral weight of survival. When a ship crashes offshore during a brutal winter, she and her fellow starving villagers must decide whether saving the survivors is worth risking what little they have left. It’s a grim setup, but one that’s laced with creeping dread and icy folklore.

The film shines most in its atmosphere. Cinematographer Eli Arenson captures Iceland’s desolate beauty in wide, windswept frames of towering snowbanks, rocky outcrops, and gray skies that feel as heavy as the moral choices facing the villagers. The sound design is equally sharp: howling wind and sudden silences all used to unsettling effect. It's the kind of movie that doesn't shout “horror” so much as whisper it directly into your ear.

Odessa Young is a powerhouse here, carrying the emotional weight with a quiet intensity. As Eva, she’s tough but haunted, and her gradual unraveling feels both earned and unnerving. There are a few well-executed jump scares scattered through the film, but The Damned leans more on psychological and folkloric horror, particularly the concept of the draugar—restless undead who may or may not be lurking just beyond the veil. When you live with 20 hours of winter darkness, it makes perfect sense that the line between myth and madness would blur.

Thordur Palsson makes a strong debut here, both writing and directing with a sure hand. The pacing may be a touch too glacial for some, especially if you're not into slow burns, but there's real substance beneath the snow. That said, the ending did feel rushed, less like a conclusion and more like an abrupt dismount. With a runtime of just 89 minutes, they had room to breathe a bit more before rolling credits.

Still, The Damned delivers. It's a moody, visually arresting slice of Icelandic horror that gets under your skin. If you like your ghost stories bleak, snowy, and steeped in folklore, this one’s worth your time even if you might want to throw on an extra blanket while watching.

The Damned (2025)

Amazon is one of the few streamers to choose from if you are interested.

https://jackmeat.com/the-damned-2025/

Ziam (2025) | A gritty, blood-drenched zombie ride with sharp fight scenes and some bizarre moments that won’t wow, but should satisfy horror die-hards. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Thought I’d give a Thai horror flick a whirl tonight with Ziam, a zombie-action hybrid that throws elbows, roundhouses, and an unsettling number of fish at the genre. If you like your undead with a side of Muay Thai, then at least on paper, this one’s for you.

The movie kicks off with a clean, fast-paced fight scene featuring our lead, Vasu (Johnny Anfone), a retired Muay Thai fighter who doesn’t waste time proving he’s still got the chops. It’s a promising start, hinting that martial arts is going to be a major focus, and thankfully, the film delivers on that front. When the zombie outbreak hits, it does so in a claustrophobic hospital setting, and the ensuing chaos is satisfyingly gory. The make-up team deserves a nod; the zombies look great, and the blood flows freely as hallways become buffets for the infected.

But then things get… fishy. Literally. The zombie plague is hinted to be fish-related (sure), and in one of the movie’s strangest moments, fish-like features start showing on the mouths of the undead. It’s visually interesting but conceptually baffling. Was it meant to be symbolic? Gross-out horror? Some kind of parasite tie-in? Whatever it was going for, I was thinking more on the “huh?” side than “wow.”

The sound design also veers into questionable territory. At some points, the zombies make clicking noises straight out of Predator, which felt completely out of place and pulled me right out of the scene. A zombie growl or moan is fine, clicking is just trying too hard to be different.

The film’s backbone is a straightforward rescue mission: Vasu battling his way floor by floor to save his girlfriend, Rin (Nuttanicha Dungwattanawanich), who’s trapped with a group of survivors. While Vasu’s journey supplies most of the action, Rin’s side of the story attempts to add some moral weight as she spars verbally and emotionally with another patient. It’s a decent effort to balance blood with brains, but it's mostly there to keep the camera busy while Vasu is throwing punches.

There’s also a young boy Vasu rescues along the way who injects some much-needed humor into the story. He’s probably the most charismatic character in the film and helps break up the action with some lighthearted exchanges.

Now, about that extended fight scene. I’m all for a good martial arts showcase, but there’s one drawn-out brawl between Vasu and a character who had no real reason to throw hands in the first place. The longer it went on, the more I found myself questioning its purpose. It’s hard to stay engaged in a fight when you’re stuck wondering why it’s happening at all.

I watched the dubbed version, so it’s hard to fairly judge the performances, but nobody stood out as awful, and in a zombie flick, that’s often good enough. These movies aren’t Oscar bait—they’re about guts, grit, and getting to the end credits with your limbs intact.

Ziam (2025)

In the end, Ziam doesn’t reinvent anything, and it certainly doesn’t come close to Train to Busan despite the inevitable comparisons just from being an Asian zombie film. But if you’re a genre fan who doesn’t mind a thin plot and is just here for the action, blood, and chaos, this is a serviceable addition to your undead watchlist. Just be ready to suspend a bit of logic, and don't order the fish.

This one is currently only available on Netflix.

https://jackmeat.com/ziam-2025/

War of the Worlds (2025) | Ice Cube leads a screenlife alien invasion flick with decent designs but suspiciously COVID-era production vibes feel like an algorithm creation. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.8/10. There’s something about seeing Ice Cube’s face on a sci-fi thriller poster that immediately pulls you in. Maybe it’s curiosity. Maybe it's misplaced hope. Either way, this 2025 War of the Worlds opens with a promising setup, Ice Cube plays Will Radford, a top-tier Homeland Security cyber-analyst who monitors the nation through an Orwellian surveillance program. But when an unknown digital anomaly sparks chaos, Radford begins to suspect that the real enemy isn’t just from another world, it might be his own government. Sounds cool, right?

Yeah, I thought so too, but hold that thought.

What starts as a potentially fresh, techno-savvy reimagining of H.G. Wells' classic soon spirals into a cluttered, confused mess that feels like someone tried to make Host, WarGames, and War of the Worlds all at once, and then uploaded it directly to TikTok. And yes, at one point, "Shall we play a game?" is typed on a computer screen.

The storytelling is presented almost entirely through computer screens, phone footage, text messages, and drone feeds. While that “screenlife” approach has worked for films like Searching, here it just becomes exhausting. Ice Cube spends most of the film clicking around DHS surveillance feeds from his desk, isolated in what feels like a digital quarantine zone. There's no energy, no chemistry, and practically no human interaction, because no two characters ever appear in the same room. That might have been understandable during the peak of the pandemic, but in 2025, it feels like a strange creative constraint unless this really was a COVID leftover they finally decided to release.

The soon-to-be infamous Amazon drone delivery scene—intended, I assume, as satire—plays like a bad commercial mashed into a bad movie. It’s blatant, jarring, and unintentionally hilarious. And when the action does finally pick up, it’s edited like a YouTube compilation reel, clearly targeting viewers with a max 20-second attention span. Rapid cuts, flashy overlays, and game-like HUDs only distance the viewer from the stakes of the invasion.

To its credit, the alien invaders are actually quite well designed. They maintain some traditional elements, tentacles, and eerie movement, but are updated with an oddly biomechanical twist. Unfortunately, they’re never scary. We only ever see them through surveillance footage or a drone's eye view. There’s no dread, no suspense. You never feel like the aliens are coming for you. They're just background noise to a story that desperately wants to be about “surveillance vs privacy,” but forgets to be about people.

It's clear the filmmakers wanted to modernize Wells' tale with a twist that fits today’s digital paranoia. And in theory, that’s a smart move. But the execution is thin, the characters undercooked, and the final product feels rushed, like they tried to cram five phases of an alien war into 90 minutes without letting any of it breathe.

Still, it’s not the absolute bottom of the barrel. (War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave, anyone?) But don’t be fooled by the online backlash; it’s not that bad. Just underwhelming. And while Cube does his best to bring some presence to the chaos, he’s trapped in a format that gives him little to do beyond yelling threats to his screen.

War of the Worlds (2025)

War of the Worlds tries to warn us about the dangers of blind trust in tech, but ironically, it feels like it was made by an algorithm. Disconnected, distracted, and ultimately forgettable.

After watching this one, you will 100% KNOW this is an Amazon exclusive.

https://jackmeat.com/war-of-the-worlds-2025/

28 Years Later (2025) | In 28 Days, it began. In 28 Weeks, it spread. In 28 Years, it evolved—into a bold and visually stunning zombie sequel. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.2/10. Danny Boyle and Alex Garland return to the infected-ravaged wastelands of the U.K. with 28 Years Later, the third entry in the franchise that helped redefine the zombie genre. Set nearly three decades after the original outbreak, this installment doesn’t waste time rehashing familiar territory. Instead, the story plunges us deeper into a mutated world where more than just the virus has evolved.

The story centers around Spike (Alfie Williams), a survivor living on a fortified island community tethered to the mainland by a single, heavily defended causeway. When he ventures into the heart of infected Britain on a rite of passage mission, what he uncovers shifts the tone of the movie from survival horror to something more contemplative, surreal, and surprisingly emotional. Williams delivers a standout performance, balancing quiet resilience with vulnerability, and anchoring the story with genuine heart, something not always expected in a film with this much arterial spray.

Visually, 28 Years Later is stunning. Boyle’s trademark kinetic energy is on full display, but it's the cinematography and editing that truly shine. The abandoned ruins of the U.K. look both haunting and beautiful, every frame oozing desolation and decayed grandeur. Whether it’s the sweeping drone shots over the vast landscapes or the intimate, handheld work in tight corridors, the film is consistently engaging to look at. The action, mostly concentrated in the first half, is fast, brutal, and stylishly edited, with a bow-and-arrow-heavy approach that feels oddly appropriate and even a little game-like in execution.

The second half is where things get interesting and divisive. Boyle and Garland inject the film with a dramatic and slightly experimental turn that explores a nihilistic approach to death more than straightforward zombie horror. The introduction of Spike’s mother, played with precision by Jodie Comer, adds layers of tragedy and conflict, especially as the film flirts with themes of memory, identity, and survival guilt. A scene involving the infamous “boots” poem is an unexpected highlight, poetic, eerie, and masterfully done, just as the teaser trailer was.

There’s a satirical undercurrent here too, as the film subtly critiques the decline of British institutions and identity, adding extra bite to an already intense narrative. Ralph Fiennes as Dr. Kelson brings a composed menace that elevates every scene he’s in. He’s not a main character, but his presence lingers long after the credits.

And then… there's the ending. Without spoiling it, let’s just say the last 10 minutes go full bananas. After 105 minutes of grounded tension, character work, and grim atmosphere, the film takes a turn so tonally off-kilter it almost feels like a parody. It's clearly intended to set up a sequel, but it lands more like a head-scratching paradox. You’ll know it when you see it.

28 Years Later (2025)

28 Years Later is ambitious, uneven, and occasionally brilliant. It doesn’t always stick the landing, but it deserves credit for trying something different in a genre where sameness is often the norm. It’s not as lean or terrifying as 28 Days Later, nor as chaotic as 28 Weeks Later, but it finds its own voice somewhere in the middle—with a bit more heart, a few more ideas, and a hell of a lot of arrows.

Amazon and several other streamers have this for theater pricing.

https://jackmeat.com/28-years-later-2025/

Tales from Black Manor (2025) | A slow, death-obsessed slog that looks pretty but feels like AI gothic fan fiction with no thrills or reason to watch again. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.6/10. I’m not saying Tales from Black Manor was made by AI, but if a robot was trained on gothic Pinterest boards, voice-over apps, and a dusty copy of Immortality for Dummies, this would probably be the result.

The film promises an epic, centuries-spanning saga of the cursed Black family and their mysterious book of death, from the 1300s to the end of the world. What we get instead is a somber, slow-mo slideshow narrated like someone’s medieval PowerPoint presentation. Imagine sitting through a family reunion, but every branch of the family tree is obsessed with immortality, and no one has a personality. That’s this movie.

It’s sort of an anthology, but not in any way that feels intentional. Each segment introduces another Black family member with a name like “Aleister” or “Ivy,” who stares into the distance while someone explains their quest to defeat death. Then, without anything actually happening, we fade out and move on to the next centuries-old sad sack. Rinse, repeat, sigh.

The whole thing is narrated more than acted, and what’s narrated often contradicts or deflates the only semi-interesting parts. They even decide to circle back and undercut the “Miss Nobody” subplot from earlier, which wasn’t great to begin with but now just feels like someone deleted the wrong paragraph from the script and hoped we wouldn’t notice. Spoiler: I did.

Now, I won’t lie—this movie looks gorgeous. The manor is striking, the costumes are moody, and the cinematography is the kind of thing you'd screenshot and put on your vision board if you were planning a haunted wedding. But beauty can only get you so far when your movie feels like a gothic screensaver with a melancholy audiobook playing over it.

There’s almost zero tension, no characters to root for, and despite being a film about death, shockingly few actual deaths. Most are just mentioned in passing, like, “And then he was lost to the fire,” but we never see a spark. It’s like being told ghost stories by someone who’s allergic to excitement.

Honestly, the only character I felt anything for was the manor itself. It didn’t do much, but at least it showed up on time and looked fabulous.

In the end, Tales from Black Manor isn’t scary, thrilling, or even all that coherent. It’s the cinematic equivalent of slowly reading an ancient family diary while staring at oil paintings. With a sharper script, some on-screen action, and maybe one—just one—character worth following, there might’ve been something here. Instead, it’s a long, dreary walk through centuries of whispered nothings.

Skip it, unless you’re an immortal being yourself and literally have eternity to waste.

Tales from Black Manor (2025)

It is either Amazon or a couple of freebies to watch this one. Click Plex to watch now for free.

https://jackmeat.com/tales-from-black-manor-2025/