Rabbit Trap (2025) | Gorgeous Welsh folk horror with killer sound design but so vague it left me feeling like I missed the #Shocktober punchline. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.8/10. Rabbit Trap is one of those films that had everything going for it on paper, with remote Welsh countryside, folk magic, unsettling strangers appearing uninvited, but instead of getting under my skin, it mostly just hovered politely nearby, hoping I’d interpret it correctly. It’s a slow-burn folk horror that simmers at a constant low temperature but never reaches a boil.

Daphne (Rosy McEwen) and her husband Darcy (Dev Patel) are musicians who move to an isolated house in Wales to record weird atmospheric noises, which already feels like the setup for either a folk horror movie or a highly experimental 70s Joni Mitchell album. The sound design is, without question, the backbone of the entire film. Every creak, whisper, and gust of wind is dialed up to eleven, to the point where I’m convinced this script probably started life as an audio drama. The visuals match the ambition; bleakly gorgeous landscapes stretch for miles, making the couple look appropriately insignificant against whatever ancient force they’ve annoyed with their synth beats.

Enter Nameless Child, played by Jade Croot — who is, notably, a girl playing a boy. The character is referred to as male, but the casting choice adds a layer of gender ambiguity that the film never addresses. Maybe it was intentional. Perhaps it was supposed to be uncanny. Or am I supposed to “see with my ears,” or whatever metaphor the movie kept nudging me with? Either way, it was one more distraction in a movie already allergic to clarity.

The boy shows up at their home unannounced and immediately becomes that houseguest who overstays their welcome and starts rearranging your furniture. He traps rabbits, mutters mystical nonsense about fairies, and generally acts like an enthusiastic cult recruiter who hasn’t figured out his pitch yet. What baffled me most was how completely uncurious Daphne and Darcy are about this kid. No “where are your parents,” no “are you lost,” not even a casual “hey, why are you covered in rabbit entrails.” They just let him orbit their lives until he becomes an emotional parasite.

The problem isn’t ambiguity. I like ambiguity when it feels like the film is letting me solve something. This felt more like being handed a locked puzzle box with no key and told to “listen harder.” I kept waiting for a payoff — a twist, a surge of horror, even just a definitive something — but instead the film stays in its lane of quiet symbolism and expects the viewer to decode ancient Welsh folklore without a guidebook.

Ultimately, Rabbit Trap is beautifully made but emotionally impenetrable. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t disturbed. Mostly, I just felt left out of whatever mythological in-joke it was trying to share. If there was a message buried in all that rustic atmosphere and rabbit fur, it escaped before I could catch it.

Rabbit Trap (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/rabbit-trap-2025/

Rose's Last Session (2024) | Uneven acting and tame kills hold back this atmospheric indie, though a smart twist keeps it from fading into total mediocrity. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.3/10. I went into Rose’s Last Session blind, and honestly, that’s the only way to make it work. If you watch the trailer or read too much beforehand, you’ll probably expect something the film never intends to deliver. The setup is straightforward: Rose, a college student, winds up stranded at her therapist’s house during a storm. What should have been an awkward evening filled with bad small talk and stale cookies quickly shifts into something darker when Rose realizes that Dr. Richardson and his wife aren’t quite who they seem.

Now, the movie likes to flirt with being a slasher, but it never buys dinner or follows through. The kills—what little there are—are about as tame as network TV, so if you’re hoping for creative gore, you’ll be left waiting. Maybe with a higher budget, we could've gotten a tad more bloodletting. Instead, Ottinger goes for a slow-burn approach, and while I respect the attempt, the tension never quite gets high enough to really grip you. The breadcrumbs are there, but half the time they feel like someone dropped them by accident rather than with purpose.

Of course, I can’t talk about this movie without mentioning the rain. It’s supposedly so heavy Rose can’t leave, so she’s forced to stay the night. Fair enough. But then we cut to her car, and the windows are wide open. I was ready to roll my eyes and add it to the “low-budget blooper reel,” but surprisingly, the film doubles back and actually explains it away with a twist I didn’t see coming. Touché, Mr. Ottinger—you got me. Unfortunately, not all tropes get dodged. A clumsy fall shows up right on schedule, like the horror gods insisted on at least one.

The acting is where things wobble. Kaitlyn Rochester, who carries most of the film, is hit-or-miss depending on the scene. Sometimes she nails the paranoia, other times it feels like she’s waiting for her cue cards. The rest of the cast—all unfamiliar faces to me—range from serviceable to forgettable. Depending on how you feel about unknown actors, that either helps the immersion or reminds you this is very much a first-feature vibe.

At the end of the day, Rose’s Last Session is more intriguing than thrilling. It has enough atmosphere and a couple of neat surprises to keep you watching, but not nearly enough punch to make you want to revisit it. I have to give credit to Ottinger and Jessica Claire Crosby since I pride myself on figuring things out, and I was in the dark right up until the reveal. I wasn’t mad I watched it, but I also won’t be clearing space on the shelf for a Blu-ray.

Rose's Last Session (2024)

https://jackmeat.com/roses-last-session-2024/

Poern (2015) | Somehow, they made Edgar Allan Poe feel like bad fanfiction written during a porn shoot running out of lube and money. #jackmeatsflix #Shocktober

My quick rating - 2.6/10. Somewhere in Italy, a group of filmmakers asked the eternal question: What if Edgar Allan Poe… but horny and confused? Thus, Poern was born, a cinematic cryptid stitched from half-remembered English class stories, leftover porn sets, and a blender full of CGI that would embarrass a 2004 screensaver.

If you looked at IMDB, you would see this tagline that the creators thought was clever:
“209 slutty, slutty years ago, Edgar Allan Hoe made a vow to stay true to himself, joining a society called "Literhairy Analycists." After a night of unexpected "rambunciousity," Hoe realizes quills aren't the only thing to tickle the mind.”
Yes, they really wrote that. Yes, someone thought that was marketing gold. Yes, it reads like a 14-year-old wrote it during detention.

The “wrap-around” plot is literally a woman masturbating to an Edgar Allan Poe book. Not an adaptation, not a fantasy—she’s just aggressively flicking the raven while skimming Victorian prose. With each story break, she loses more clothing, as if the director assumed Poe’s greatest legacy was edging.

Poern (2015)

Story 1: “Alone”
This segment appears to have been edited by someone concussed and holding the controller upside down. Random porn clips? Check. Beheading footage ripped from somewhere cheap? Check. Some glum dude smoking like he’s waiting for his Uber? Also check. What does this have to do with Poe? Only the ghost of continuity could tell you, and it bailed ten minutes in.

Story 2: “The Black Cat”
They went animated for this one—probably because no living cat wanted to be associated. It’s loosely based on the original tale if your definition of “loosely” includes dropping the plot, tone, and dignity. Still, compared to the rest, this counts as Pixar.

Story 3: “William Wilson”
What if Poe’s exploration of dual identity was replaced with a dude vigorously jerking off while someone slapped text on the screen like inspirational quotes from PornHub comments? Congratulations, you’ve just watched it.

Story 4: “Ligeia / Morella”
Now we enter the uncanny valley so hard we burst out the other side into a PS1 cutscene. Roberta Gemma returns here as a 3D model that looks like The Sims tried porn and got stage fright. If Poe could see his work reimagined like this, he’d claw his way out of the grave just to file a cease-and-desist.

Poern (2015)

Had this film been any good, you might forgive the edgelord puns and “Literhairy Analycists” nonsense. But there’s no salvation here—just softcore chaos dipped in foggy references and regret. Despite a few glimmers—like interesting animation in Black Cat and the faint idea that erotic horror could exist if handled by adults—most of this anthology evaporates from memory faster than Poe’s inheritance.

It’s bizarre without being bold, erotic without being sexy, and Poe without being Poe. If you want porn, this isn’t good porn. If you want Poe, this isn’t good Poe. If you want both at once… seek help and a higher bitrate. And no, of course there’s no trailer—you’ll have to spelunk through the internet’s grimy basement to find this one. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. Barely escapes the #turkey tag since it is competent at times.

https://jackmeat.com/poern-2015/

The Toxic Avenger (2025) | From mop-fu to melting faces, this 2025 version of The Toxic Avenger proves #Shocktober still has room for toxic heroes and tasteless humor. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.0/10. Somewhere in the cosmic video store of nostalgia, my 12-year-old self just did a cartwheel in parachute pants. I grew up rewinding an original The Toxic Avenger on worn-out VHS until the tracking lines looked like snowstorms over Tromaville. So when Hollywood whispered “remake,” I braced myself for PG-13 sterilization and emotional damage. But bless Macon Blair’s radioactive heart—he didn’t just do it justice, he hosed it down in glowing sludge and handed it a mop.

Our new hero is Winston Gooze (Peter Dinklage), a terminally ill janitor who gets baptized in toxic goop and comes out looking like a meatball with abs and a Costco-sized case of trauma. Dinklage doesn’t just play Toxie, he owns him. He swings that glowing mop like Excalibur dipped in biohazard, and suddenly I remembered why deformed vigilantes matter: because nothing says “hero” like ripping someone’s intestines out while trying to make it to parent-teacher night.

And can we talk about the casting? Kevin Bacon as the corporate tyrant who drinks villain monologues for breakfast? Chef’s kiss. Elijah Wood pops up as his gremlin-esque brother, looking like he crawled out of a vat of expired hair dye and cryptid rumors swirling in the time warp. Their private death squad, the Killer Nutz, is less “elite mercenaries” and more “fetish convention meets meth carnival,” which is a compliment in the Troma-verse.

Nice touch naming the crusading reporter Melvin (Shaun Dooley)—a blood-splattered wink to the OG mop-wielder himself. And Taylour Paige as J.J., Toxie’s ride-or-die, holds her own with a mix of badassery and the facial expressions of someone who’s just seen a spleen used as a yo-yo. How about that son, Wade (Jacob Tremblay), busting out some moves on the dance floor? Leads me to my next point.

The humor? Alive. Mutated. Proudly infectious. The girls’ dance troupe shaking it to an aggressively inappropriate song had me choking on nostalgia. Speaking of, if the music budget really landed on “Hall of the Mountain King” instead of “Gutter Ballet,” shortly after, in the street. That is Troma logic, baby. Or a joke I am not getting. I salute the chaos.

Now, the gore. Oh, the gore. Heads get pop-quizzed off with a mop. Limbs fly like bargain-bin confetti. Practical effects hold hands with CGI the way drunks slow-dance at weddings—awkward, sloppy, and perfect. It still feels like a B-movie dipped in beer money and glitter vomit, exactly where it belongs.

Blair doesn’t sand off the edges—he sharpens them. This isn’t some sanitized “modern reimagining.” There are still tits, cameos, filth, goop, indignity, and heart—because even under ten layers of melted skin, The Toxic Avenger is still just a guy trying to save his kid and be the world’s scariest father-in-law.

Is it better than the original? No. But it’s not trying to be. It’s leaning into the glorious stupidity, raunchy enthusiasm, and gleeful carnage that made Troma what it is. Unlike the neutered Hellraiser reboot crimes we recently had to relive, this one embraces the cheesy, sleazy, bloody mayhem and dares us not to grin.

Lloyd Kaufman & Jackmeat

Also: Lloyd Kaufman cameo? Check. Post-credit joke about a billion-dollar box office to finance a sequel? Beautiful. Gratuitous nudity because “this is Troma”? You bet your irradiated butt.

The Toxic Avenger (2025)

What else can I say? It made the 12-year-old VHS warrior in me scream, “I TOLD YOU SO,” and the adult me kind of wants a glowing mop. Now with 30% More Mop-Based Dismemberment!

https://jackmeat.com/the-toxic-avenger-2025/

Into the Gravel Pit (2025) | If a drug makes you fight your dad’s baseball bat or seduce trash, maybe skip the burrito-shaped dosage. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.9/10. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if three bored teenagers raided a gas station snack aisle and accidentally ingested experimental depression burritos, Into the Gravel Pit has you covered. Miley, Carter, and Isaiah have been best friends forever and apparently share a passion for two things: exotic drugs and looking like they legally still need a hall pass.

The movie tries to juggle two stories: the teens gearing up for a chemically enhanced farewell tour before “most likely college” (translation: rehab or retail), and two estranged parents reconnecting with their dying daughter. Lisa Wilcox shows up and reminds everyone what acting looks like, which only highlights how everyone else appears to be performing in a high school anti-drug PSA filmed during lunch break.

The first “trip,” if we can call it that, kicks in with Miley, played by Rylie Rodriguez—text header let me know who I was following. Her delirium escalates into a showdown with a drunk dad and his baseball bat. It’s not scary so much as confusing, like watching someone try to fight alcoholism with Little League equipment. The sound quality doesn’t help—everyone might as well be mumbling their lines into a pillow two rooms over.

Next up: Isaiah (Mikael Dawkins), who decides this is the perfect time to profess his love to Carter by telling her he “needs” her. Nothing says romance like sounding like a malfunctioning Roomba. She friend-zones him with surgical precision, and off he goes to make love to a pile of trash bags in a parking lot. If this drug is supposed to be fun, the director forgot to include the part where it looks remotely enjoyable.

Finally, Carter (Samantha Makley) takes her turn in her thrift-store-hippie habitat. Her trip ends with a deeply unsettling bout of self-harm after losing an argument with her own reflection. It’s the only moment that aims for emotional weight, but it’s like watching someone try to perform Shakespeare with a rubber spoon.

Eventually, the parents’ storyline intersects with Miley’s meltdown, confirming what you probably deduced an hour earlier: subtlety was not invited to this production. Carter’s long-winded monologue at the beginning circles back at the end, attempting depth with the success rate of a flatlined EKG.

To the film’s microscopic credit, writer/director Colin Bressler does manage to pull the two plotlines together. It’s wobbly, it’s rushed, and it’s stitched with the grace of a glue stick— but it does meet in the middle, technically qualifying as structure.

In the end, Into the Gravel Pit feels less like a narrative and more like a D.A.R.E. presentation that ate itself. Between the muffled dialogue, bizarre “burrito drug” concept, and emotionally scattered trips, the message is clear: don’t do drugs, especially not ones purchased from a movie this confused.

Into The Gravel Pit (2025)

There’s a glimmer of something under all the noise, but it’s buried somewhere in the gravel.

https://jackmeat.com/into-the-gravel-pit-2025/

Hellraiser (2022) | Has some good and some bad components but makes for a decent #Shocktober watch. Are you a fan? You may be disappointed. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Saying my wait for a new Hellraiser has been long is an understatement, and expectations were sky-high going in. This is one of those films where the score keeps shifting while thinking back on what it got right and what it completely missed. It’s impossible not to compare it to the original film or Clive Barker’s novel, especially for those of us who grew up with both in our early teens.

The gender swap of Pinhead caused some panic for fans when it was first announced, but Jamie Clayton handles the role surprisingly well. The other returning cenobites are also crafted and performed with care. That said, the true soul of the lore has been largely stripped away. Nearly everything tied to the mythology of the original book has been abandoned in favor of accessibility.

A major casualty is the puzzle box itself. In this version, anyone who touches it can open it with the ease of cracking open a box of cereal. The original mystique—where opening the Lament Configuration required desire, obsession, and intent—is gone. The cenobites once appeared only when called across worlds, and their presence carried buildup and mystery. Here, by the second half, they’re simply lurking around like they’re waiting to get into a nightclub. The idea behind why they can’t enter the house is clever in concept, but it contradicts established rules.

In Barker’s world, the box targeted those seeking deeper, often darker experiences. One of the most iconic concepts came from Hellraiser II: “It is not hands that call us, it is desire.” The cenobites weren’t random butchers. They punished those who sought them out, willingly or not. In this new iteration, anyone nicked by the box—thanks to a new spike mechanism—becomes a target. It shifts the tone from cosmic punishment to something closer to a typical slasher setup.

The kills themselves feel surprisingly tame, which is shocking considering Clive Barker co-produced this version. The brutality, erotic horror, and philosophical depravity that defined the franchise have been heavily dialed down.

On the positive side, the cast works well for a reboot. Odessa A’zion stands out as Riley, whose involvement begins after stealing the box with her boyfriend, unaware of its nature. David Bruckner once again proves he knows how to make a film look good. His attention to detail and use of wide, sweeping shots make several scenes visually striking. There’s even a strong nod to Hellraiser II that nails the atmosphere and aesthetic. Unfortunately, those moments are rare.

The overall presentation works for a modern reboot, but longtime fans will likely walk away disappointed. The only reason this version isn’t being completely torn apart is the sense that Barker probably recognized that today’s mainstream horror audience isn’t prepared for his brand of extremity and allowed the tone to be softened accordingly.

Taken for what it is, the film has its strengths, and newcomers without a basis for comparison may find plenty to enjoy. Bias definitely plays a role here. If Barker had no involvement at all—as with some of the weaker sequels—the criticism would likely be far harsher. If the series does continue, the hope is that future installments can lift the restrictions and return to the true horror roots that made the franchise iconic in the first place.

Hellraiser (2022)

https://jackmeat.com/hellraiser-2022/

Afterburn (2025) | Afterburn delivers a predictable postapocalyptic treasure hunt saved only by its cast, brief brutal action and Slovakian wasteland vibes. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.9/10. Set in a scorched future where the Eastern Hemisphere has been fried to a crisp by a solar flare, Afterburn imagines a postapocalyptic Earth where radiation, fallout, and desperation have turned survival into a scavenger sport. Society may have collapsed, but apparently art history still has some die-hard collectors, because the plot follows treasure hunters tasked with recovering artifacts like the Mona Lisa, the Rosetta Stone, and the Crown Jewels. Civilization is gone, but Sotheby’s is still spiritually alive.

The film kicks off with Dave Bautista’s gravelly narration laying out the state of the world and his role in it. Bautista plays Jake, a rugged artifact retriever hired by King August—played by Samuel L. Jackson, whose casting probably did more heavy lifting than the script itself. Jackson doesn’t get a ton to do, but he brings just enough regal swagger to make “King August” feel less like a video game NPC and more like an actual post-collapse power player.

Jake teams up with Drea, played by Olga Kurylenko, who action fans likely just watched in Thunderbolts*—maybe the producers are counting on that familiarity to fill in whatever the screenplay didn’t. Their mission is to reclaim the Mona Lisa, but of course, rival hunters, mutants, and opportunistic pirates are waiting in the wings to complicate things. The setup plays like a mash-up of Mad Max, Indiana Jones and a Syfy original, just with a slightly better wardrobe budget.

One of the early surprises is an old-school chase scene that actually uses real vehicles. For a moment, you think you’ve stumbled into a 1990s throwback, and then the CGI explosions show up to remind you that post-production can still ruin practical ambition. Tanks fire, debris flies, and it’s fun enough, but the fake blasts are obvious from space. Maybe the same solar flare that nuked the planet took out the effects department, too.

Filmed in Slovakia, the landscapes do a lot of visual heavy lifting. The movie sells its apocalyptic decay fairly well, even if the overall tone gives off strong STS “straight-to-streaming” energy despite its limited theatrical run. The production design screams “budget-conscious bleakness,” but it works.

There’s an ultra-violent gunfight later in the film that actually jolts the movie to life. It’s slick, brutal and stylish—so of course it lasts only a few minutes and never really returns. Had the rest of the action matched that energy, we’d be talking about a very different film.

As expected, there’s a double cross, because what is a treasure-hunting movie without one? The script tries to sprinkle in morality and reflection after that twist, but with four writers credited, you’d think at least one of them could’ve punched up the dialogue or added something less predictable. The chemistry between Bautista and Kurylenko works well enough, and the cast in general keeps this thing from collapsing into total mediocrity.

Without this lineup, Afterburn would have burned out on reentry. The action is serviceable until overproduced effects intrude, the world-building is fine but familiar, and the story unfolds exactly the way I assumed it would within the first ten minutes. It’s popcorn-worthy the first time, but you’ll never feel the need to revisit it or rescue it from any wasteland vault.

Afterburn (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/afterburn-2025/

Band on the Run (2024) | When a Detroit band drags their difficult dad on the road to SXSW, chaos, grudges, and unexpected heart follow. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. Band on the Run rolls onto the screen with a musical intro that immediately sets the tone: scrappy, chaotic, and dripping with late-’90s Detroit garage rock energy. We’re introduced to Jessie (Matthew Perl), whose creative spark is slowly being smothered by his dead-end advertising job. He fronts the Hot Freaks from behind the drums, a band with dreams bigger than their gas fund, and patience shorter than a punk set. Home life’s no better—his mother has bailed, and his father, Thomas (Larry Bagby) is a chronically ill, insufferable grump whose self-righteousness is only matched by his talent for antagonizing anyone within shouting range.

Their big break—sort of—comes when arrogant rival band Bull Roar tricks them into trekking down to South by Southwest. Instead of ditching Thomas at a nursing home where an ambulance is literally parked out front (a pretty decent sign to keep walking), the band inexplicably hauls him along for the ride. Maybe Jessie has a hospital phobia, maybe it’s guilt, or maybe Jeff Hupp knew Thomas was the only one with actual character depth. Either way, the guy turns out to be the only one who remembers that music is supposed to matter more than the payout.

The film sprinkles in comedy through petty sabotage—most notably stealing Bull Roar’s mic stand and swapping van signage. Advertising your rivals is an odd tactical move, but somehow it works out to their benefit. The mic stand gag pays off more than it has any right to, especially since the Hot Freaks hit the road without a dollar to rub together. These guys are busking their way to Austin with blind optimism and no plan B, and honestly, it fits.

What sets the tone apart is the attempt to blend heartfelt family drama with road-trip absurdity. The dynamic between Thomas and the band shifts from annoyance to reluctant respect, and surprisingly, the old man becomes the moral compass. Hupp hints at the “lesson learned” template early on—there are only so many van breakdowns, medical scares, and cheap motels you can cram in before someone has to grow up.

The rivalry itself never becomes the big explosive showdown you might expect. Fans mostly taunt them through message board posts, a charmingly retro touch that anchors the story firmly in 1999. The showdown at SXSW fizzles visually—the crowd looks more like a Tuesday open mic than a hyped MTV-adjacent event. In the era of Farmclub.com, they should’ve packed the house, not a coffee shop.

Still, what keeps the film upright is the cast chemistry. Everyone feels like they belong in this band or at least in this mess, and that cohesion helps smooth over the tonal wobbles. There’s a genuine sweetness beneath the hijinks, especially as the father’s health issues creep closer to the center of the story. The tone bounces between goofy and earnest often enough that some viewers may wish it would just pick a lane, but the blend gives it a playful charm.

“Band on the Run” won’t blow your amps, but it lands as a modestly funny, unexpectedly warm road movie that cares more about hugs than hooks. The music takes a backseat, the rivalry is mostly digital, and the finale trades fire for feelings—but for a story rooted in garage rock chaos, that’s almost poetic. Thanks to Jeff Hupp for sending this one over, allowing me to take a little trip back with the band.

Band on the Run (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/band-on-the-run-2024/

Madame Web (2024) | This flick has a major identity crisis and is kind of a mess, but the cast elevates it over what you may have heard. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.0/10. Oh, I have not heard good things about this one. Tooling around in a stolen car, wanted for kidnapping, I am SURE jumping on a plane to Peru would be NO problem LOL. Madame Web arrived in theaters with high expectations, thanks to its Marvel connection and promising cast. However, what unfolds on the screen is a disappointing and disjointed mess that fails to live up to its potential.

The film follows paramedic Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson) as she finds herself entangled in a web of intrigue and danger after being implicated in a kidnapping and forced to flee the authorities. Seeking refuge in Peru, Cassandra is forced to confront shocking revelations about her past while forming an unlikely bond with three young women whose destinies are intertwined with her own.

Despite boasting a talented ensemble cast, including some recognizable names, including the flavor of the week, Sydney Sweeney, and talented Emma Roberts, it squanders its resources with lackluster execution. The characters, including Cassandra and the trio of young women, are woefully underdeveloped, leaving you struggling to make any connection with their journeys or care what their fate may be.

One of the film's most glaring flaws is its identity crisis. At its core, it seems torn between different genres and tones, unsure of whether it wants to be a gritty crime thriller or a mystical supernatural drama. This lack of focus leaves you with a disjointed story with plot threads dangling haphazardly and unresolved questions littering the story.

Adding insult to injury is the film's sluggish pacing, which drags the already muddled narrative to a grinding halt. Scenes linger interminably, sapping Madame Web of any momentum it might have had, and left me checking my watch in anticipation of the credits. While it attempts to inject some intrigue with its revelations about Cassandra's past and the mysterious connection between the four women, it does occasionally throw a few decent action scenes in that utilize Cassandra's power, which went mostly unused.

In conclusion, the flick is a disappointing misfire that squanders its potential with poor execution and misguided ambition. If it weren't for the talented cast, the film would've been even a bigger bomb than it already was. But I will disagree with everyone who calls this the worst movie ever made. It is FAR from that, and even though it is frustrating how bad it turned out, it is still slightly entertaining. I personally watch, I would say a movie a WEEK that is FAR worse than this, so don't go following the sheep and claim it as some anomaly of failure. Disappointing, yes, but I think way too many people set their expectations entirely too high.

Madame Web (2024)

https://jackmeat.com/madame-web-2024/

Adulthood (2025) | Two clueless siblings find a corpse, make every wrong choice imaginable, and drag their eccentric family into a mildly amusing dark disaster. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. Adulthood sets itself up with a potentially fun premise with two adult siblings discovering a corpse hidden in their childhood home and immediately deciding the responsible thing to do is—of course—dump it in a lake. Calling the police? Don’t be ridiculous. Josh Gad plays Noah, a man whose every line sounds like it was workshopped in a panic room, and Kaya Scodelario steps in as Meg, whose moral compass points mostly toward self-preservation. The two have the chemistry of people who haven't spoken since their last shared therapist, yet they somehow agree on the worst possible course of action at every turn.

The movie opens with promise, but the script—courtesy of Michael M.B. Galvin—often feels like it was written on a dare to see how far characters can push stupidity before losing all audience sympathy. Spoiler: it doesn't take long. The dialogue is frequently painful, the kind of stupid that isn't clever enough to be satire and not grounded enough to be believable. If anyone thought I’d muster empathy for these two, they were wildly optimistic. Their decision-making is so baffling that when things begin to spiral, it feels less like tragedy or dark comedy and more like karmic housekeeping.

Naturally, their brilliant lake-dumping plan goes exactly as it should: poorly and with escalating consequences. Enter Bodie, played by Anthony Carrigan, who is easily the standout and seems to be the only one truly having fun. He’s brought in as the “scary criminal guy,” specifically to intimidate a nurse (Billie Lourd) who has the audacity to question their nonsense. Carrigan walks away with every scene he’s in, delivering the kind of deadpan menace the movie desperately needed more of. Lourd holds her own, though she spends most of her time reacting to idiocy with increasing disbelief, a feeling I deeply related to.

The tonal shift in the back half is welcome, as the film finally stops pretending it's a quirky sibling caper and embraces darker territory. Bodies stack higher than I anticipated, which at least gives the chaos some bite. Director Alex Winter clearly wanted to flirt with full-on pitch-black comedy, and for a while it seems like he's gearing up to commit. Unfortunately, the ending eases off the gas just when it should slam the accelerator through the floor. It’s not timid, exactly, but it hesitates, like it suddenly remembered it might still want a streaming audience.

What keeps the movie watchable is the cast chemistry, even when the script sinks them. Gad never earns an ounce of sympathy; his character is annoying enough that I rooted for the lake to claim him. Scodelario fares better, and Meg becomes marginally tolerable as things snowball, though I’d never follow her lead in a crisis. The jokes often strain for effect, and you can feel the writers begging for laughs that don’t quite land.

In the end, Adulthood is a passable dark comedy with a stronger second half and a sense of humor that tries way too hard. It’s mildly entertaining, occasionally sharp, but ultimately a one-and-done watch. The title may be Adulthood, but these characters are graduates of the Bad Decisions Academy with honors—and not in a way that makes me root for a sequel.

Adulthood (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/adulthood-2025/

Dark Sanctuary: The Story of The Church (2025) | Enter without prejudice into the story of The Church, Dallas’ legendary goth/industrial club, where wild nights and a lasting legacy were built. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.8/10. Every city has that one club that grows into more than just a venue—it becomes a sanctuary. For Dallas, that was The Church, the goth/industrial mainstay that opened in 1994 and welcomed generations of misfits. Dark Sanctuary: The Story of The Church, directed by Timothy Stevens, tells how it came to life, what it meant to its community, and why its legacy still matters.

The story begins with Don Nedler, who first ran the Lizard Lounge in Dallas before trying his luck in Miami. That attempt failed, but not before he discovered Velvet, a club with a darker night called “Church.” Returning home, he reimagined the idea and struck gold. The Church’s slogan—“Enter without prejudice”—wasn’t just marketing. It was a promise: gender, orientation, or taste didn’t matter. If you didn’t belong anywhere else, you belonged here.

When I first got to Dallas, checking out Deep Ellum’s music and nightlife scene was mandatory. Being a fan of KMFDM, Ministry, and Skinny Puppy, The Church felt like a natural stop. This documentary finally shows how the place came together. Interviews with figures like Bill Leeb of Front Line Assembly and Patrick Codenys of Front 242 add weight, while DJ Joe Virus, one of the club’s key players, anchors much of the story.

The film touches briefly on the stereotype that goth culture is tied to suicide, but thankfully doesn’t linger. More compelling are the supernatural stories—like Joe Virus’s encounters with a ghost on stage, and the possibly haunted chandelier, surprisingly bought back for only $7,000. The Church also embraced the fetish scene with its legendary Fetish Ball, pulling in the BDSM community while staying true to its “all are welcome” ethos.

Watching this brought me back to other underground clubs I’ve hunted down over the years. Purgatory outside of Ft Lauderdale was a blast. Miami had Club Hell, which you could only find if locals pointed you toward Club Cream first. Chicago offered Nocturna at the Metro, and another short-lived spot simply called Hell. Like The Church, each carried that same mix of secrecy, freedom, and community. I've noticed while checking for links that most of these no longer exist.

Naturally, COVID shows up in the final act, and as expected, it shuttered the venue. At least the community was invited back for one last farewell. Today, the It’ll Do Club carries the torch, though anyone who stepped inside the original knows that vibe can’t be copied. Don't miss your chance to visit your favorite, you never know when it will be gone.

Dark Sanctuary: The Story of The Church (2025)

Stevens does a good job threading the history and personalities, though the documentary plays things a bit safe, considering the wild stories that likely stayed behind closed doors. Still, as a time capsule of a place where outsiders finally felt at home, Dark Sanctuary captures the spirit of a club that mattered.

https://jackmeat.com/dark-sanctuary-the-story-of-the-church-2025/

The Fantastic 4: First Steps (2025) | Marvel’s First Family returns in a colorful, retro adventure that favors character and family over spectacle, with a few cosmic surprises. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.9/10. Marvel’s First Family finally takes center stage in The Fantastic 4: First Steps, and director Matt Shakman plants them in a world that feels both familiar and refreshingly different. Against a vibrant 1960s-inspired retro-futuristic backdrop, this version of the team pops with color and imagination. The film avoids Marvel’s recent tendency to overstuff, instead keeping the focus on establishing its characters. At times, that works beautifully, though it also makes the movie feel more like a prologue than a fully satisfying adventure.

Casting is a highlight. Pedro Pascal gives Reed Richards the mix of authority and warmth the role demands. Vanessa Kirby shines as Sue Storm, balancing maternal strength with heroism. Ebon Moss-Bachrach adds strength and humor as Ben Grimm, while Joseph Quinn makes Johnny Storm a lively, cocky spark, and this time a brain as well. Even HERBIE, the team’s robotic sidekick, earns his spot, dodging the “gimmick” label by actually adding some usefulness.

One of the most memorable sequences arrives when Sue gives birth to Franklin—in space. It’s a bold, weirdly delightful moment that reinforces the film’s emphasis on family. Introducing Franklin right away also signals Marvel’s long-term plans, and the scene itself ends up more memorable than some of the big action beats. Only The Fantastic 4: First Steps could turn childbirth into a cosmic event.

The villains don’t fare quite as well. Galactus towers with visual grandeur but never feels threatening, a problem when you’re dealing with a literal world-eater. Silver Surfer makes an appearance but has little screen time, feeling more like a teaser than a real player. Fans who remember Doug Jones in Rise of the Silver Surfer may find this version underwhelming, though it fits the film’s “first step” vibe.

The pacing is another mixed bag. There are fun character moments and bursts of energy, but certain stretches drag or feel disconnected. The tension is light, and the emotional stakes never quite soar. On the plus side, the story doesn’t bog down in recycled origins or endless multiverse cameos. It keeps things simple, easy to follow, and refreshingly contained.

What really works is Shakman’s touch. He strikes a smart balance between science fiction and superhero spectacle, giving each frame a deliberate style that leans into the retro aesthetic. The film stands on its own while still planting the tiniest seeds for Phase 6 in the after-credits scene. It’s clear Marvel is stepping back from overcomplication and rediscovering the strength of simplicity.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

The Fantastic 4: First Steps isn’t a knockout, but it’s a visually impressive, character-driven reintroduction to Marvel’s most important family. Going in expecting failure, I was glad to see it sets the foundation, reminds us this is ultimately a story about family bonds, and even manages to welcome a new member into zero gravity. As first steps go, I think it’s solid—now let’s see where the journey leads.

https://jackmeat.com/the-fantastic-4-first-steps-2025/

Legion (2010) | When God loses faith in humanity, angels attack a desert diner in this flawed yet entertaining mashup of action, horror, and apocalypse. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.7/10. This one has been languishing in the depths of my watchlist for years. Until now. Legion sets up a premise that sounds wild on paper: God loses faith in humanity and sends his angels to wipe us out. The only thing standing in their way is the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany), who turns against the divine plan to protect the unborn child of a diner waitress (Adrianne Palicki). Humanity’s last hope, apparently, comes down to a dusty roadside diner, a pregnant waitress, and a ragtag bunch of survivors.

The ensemble trapped in the diner is stacked with familiar faces, including Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson, Charles S. Dutton, and Kevin Durand. Bettany does his stoic angel bit well enough, but it’s Dutton and Durand who steal their scenes. Unfortunately, neither of them gets nearly as much screen time as they should. The film squanders them, along with the promise of its setup.

The opening stretch is easily the strongest part of the film. The scene with Gladys (Jeanette Miller)—a sweet old lady who suddenly sprouts sharp teeth and starts cursing like a demon while violently attacking customers—is a fantastic stage setter. I thought it was the beginning of a truly nasty “survival horror” flick. The weird ice cream truck sequence that follows, rolling up in the middle of the night, just adds to the creepy tension. For a while, you think you’re in for something that blends biblical apocalypse with grindhouse horror.

And then, the movie changes gears. Instead of sticking with its horror roots, it veers into action territory. Think shoot-em-up horror crossed with a graphic novel, with angels instead of demons. On a surface level, it’s entertaining, guns blazing, monsters attacking, humanity under siege. But the story is thinner than the desert air around that diner. The dialogue is clunky, exposition-heavy, and often laughably unimaginative. Characters feel like archetypes instead of people, which makes it hard to care about their survival.

Still, there are things to appreciate. The film’s twisted religious overtones give it a unique flavor, and the production design has flashes of creativity. Bettany commits fully, and the action scenes are handled with enough energy to keep you from zoning out. It’s a B-action movie at heart, dressed up with apocalyptic flair. If you take it as pure entertainment and overlook the plot holes you could drive a semi through, it has its charms.

In the end, Legion is basically Terminator with angels instead of cyborgs. It’s not a great film, but it’s not without entertainment value. If you’re in the mood for religiously twisted action-horror with a graphic novel vibe, it might scratch the itch. Just don’t expect depth—it’s all smoke, bullets, and wings.

Legion (2010)

https://jackmeat.com/legion-2010/

It's Coming (2023) | Shannon Alexander’s It’s Coming avoids Hollywood gloss, capturing Ashley Roland’s chilling experiences in a straightforward, quietly unnerving documentary style. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.9/10. Ashley Roland, a wife and mother of five, has been dealing with supernatural disturbances since childhood. When she moves back into her family’s ancestral Brooklyn apartment, the strange events she’s lived with for decades begin to unfold again—but this time, her children are also pulled into the experience. It’s Coming follows Ashley and her family as they attempt to confront the malevolent presence in their home, supported by various paranormal “specialists” along the way.

I’ll admit upfront that I am especially critical of films like this. Having seen a ghost myself—and knowing exactly why it was there—I approach paranormal documentaries with a fair amount of skepticism. One day, I may get around to sharing my own story, but for now, the focus is on this film.

This isn’t a dramatization with CGI shadows and jump-scare sound design. Instead, director Shannon Alexander plays things straight, delivering a documentary-style narration about a family plagued by what they believe is a demon. That decision works in the film’s favor—it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to manipulate the audience with cheap tricks. Unfortunately, that restraint doesn’t apply to everyone involved.

Enter Soledad Haren, the medium who does a walk-through of the house. She never comes across as genuine or authoritative, and her scenes add little more than filler. When It's Coming sticks to the real, unnerving aspects of the haunting—the untraceable foul odor firefighters and maintenance couldn’t explain, or the constant small disturbances like things falling and unexplained banging—it’s much stronger. Paranormal or not, those events would be terrifying in anyone’s home.

But then come the less convincing methods. Using a piece of string to “communicate” with spirits? Too many variables could sway the outcome. And when the drag Hasbro's Ouija board into the mix (yes, the family briefly tries a toy for communication), it’s hard not to laugh. Thankfully, Alexander doesn’t lean on that too heavily. Some of the audio recordings they capture are unsettling, though the explanation that ghosts communicate on a frequency humans can’t hear—but microphones can—doesn’t hold much water scientifically.

Javier, one of the participants, does seem genuine in befriending a spirit named Katie, though scenes with him and mediums unfortunately drag down the credibility. Things really dip when podcasters and paranormal “gadgets” enter the picture. Chris DeFlorio’s segment, in particular, derails the tone, turning what had been a raw portrait of a haunted family into something closer to a low-budget reality show. I mentioned using toys, DeFlorio busts out his Xbox Kinect to track the ghouls. Oddly enough, the haunting doesn’t even stop after their intervention, which at least keeps the film from suggesting that the dog-and-pony show solved anything.

The strongest aspect of It's Coming is that it doesn’t push you to believe, nor does it sensationalize the family’s suffering. Alexander’s direction wisely avoids unnecessary spectacle, presenting the Rolands’ situation plainly and without shock tactics. This flick will likely disappoint you if you’re a fan of flashy paranormal investigation shows. But if you’re genuinely curious about what a “real” haunting might look like when stripped of Hollywood gloss, this documentary is worth a watch.

It's Coming (2023)

And finally, a thank-you to Shannon Alexander for getting in touch and allowing me to check this one out.

https://jackmeat.com/its-coming-2023/

Prisoner of War (2025) | Scott Adkins delivers hard-hitting action within a WWII prison camp drama, though weak supporting characters make the escape less impactful. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.3/10. Prisoner of War feels like a movie that time-traveled straight out of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 90s heyday with sweaty martial arts battles, one primary location, and a determined underdog fighter who refuses to stay down. Only this time it’s Scott Adkins running the show. He doesn’t just star; he also wrote and produced the film, clearly making this a passion project. The result? A brutal and entertaining martial arts war drama that plays to his strengths while occasionally showing its limitations.

The premise is straightforward: British RAF Wing Commander James Wright (Adkins) is captured by the Japanese during WWII and forced into violent hand-to-hand combat. His martial arts background—explained through years of training in Hong Kong—makes him both a target and a star attraction for the camp’s cruel general, played with chilling control by Peter Shinkoda. We have to take that with a grain of salt since, at that time, it was forbidden for Asian senseis to teach their respective martial arts to Westerners. The prison camp setting works in the film’s favor. It’s cost-effective, sure, but it also creates a tense and claustrophobic backdrop where each fight feels like it could be Wright’s last.

And let’s be clear, the fights deliver. Adkins opens the film with an adrenaline-pumping martial arts scene, and they keep coming. The choreography is crisp, grounded, and shot in a way that respects both the performers and the audience. None of that shaky-cam nonsense, just well-executed brawls that showcase Adkins at the top of his game. The film wisely avoids the video game progression trope (one boss fighter after another, each bigger and badder). Instead, when one soldier fails, the general throws three more at him, or simply beats him first. It feels more authentic to what might actually happen in a POW camp, though admittedly, it’s less flashy than the cinematic escalation I’ve been conditioned to expect.

Where the film stumbles is in its supporting characters. The other POWs are fine in their roles, but there’s little emotional investment in them. When the story shifts toward escape, it’s hard to care much about who makes it out alive aside from Adkins himself. That lack of attachment dulls the impact of what should have been a tense and emotional sequence.

Still, this is very much a Scott Adkins showcase, and on that front, it succeeds. He gets to flex both his martial arts and his dramatic chops, while Shinkoda gives him a formidable screen partner to play off. And while I can’t spoil anything, I will say this: the ending had me wondering one very practical thing—how exactly do they land that thing?

Prisoner of War surely does not reinvent the genre, but it blends martial arts action with wartime drama in a way that feels both nostalgic and fresh. If you’re part of the Adkins faithful, you’ll get exactly what you came for.

Prisoner of War (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/prisoner-of-war-2025/

Bury Me When I'm Dead (2025) | A movie where the scariest thing isn’t the ghost of your dead wife, but the fact I watched until the end. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.7/10. Some movies start with a bang. Bury Me When I’m Dead starts with cancer, a summer home in New Hampshire, and a dying request for a hippie forest burial. Not exactly fireworks. Catherine (Charlotte Hope) wants to go out in nature’s arms, probably under a pine tree, while deer sing Kumbaya. When she explains her scenario, you will wish my Kumbaya example were correct. Her husband, Henry (Devon Terrell), however, decides the best way to honor her dying wish is to completely ignore it, shovel her into the family plot instead, and then go back to cheating on her with Rebecca (Makenzie Leigh). Class act.

Naturally, Henry’s father-in-law, Gary (Richard Bekins)—a man so warm he makes icebergs seem snuggly—warns him not to play games with the burial. But since Henry’s decision-making skills hover somewhere between “drunk raccoon” and “openly guilty toddler,” he goes ahead anyway. The penalty? Gary cuts him off from the inheritance. It never mattered what decision Gary made. Catherine, meanwhile, seems to cut him off from sanity.

Now, if you’re expecting a corpse-crawling, bone-snapping horror show where Catherine claws her way out of the dirt and throttles Henry and his mistress—you’re out of luck. This is more like Paranormal Activity: The Paint is Drying. Strange creaks, bad dreams, shadows that probably just need a dusting. The movie wants us to feel Henry’s guilt, but since he spends most of the runtime staring like a deer that just discovered taxes, it’s hard to feel much besides impatience.

There is one standout moment: Buck (Mike Houston), an old friend who pops in for a couple of scenes to deliver a rambling, out-of-place conversation with Henry that feels like it wandered in from another movie entirely. It’s bizarre, but I’ll admit, it made me laugh. Which is more than I can say for the intended scares.

As a slow-burning character study of grief and betrayal, the film almost works. The acting is solid enough, but the pacing makes molasses look fast. And with so little actually happening onscreen, you start to wonder if maybe Catherine is haunting the editor’s scissors instead of her husband.

Still, the ending does manage to land with a darkly satisfying thud—one that finally feels like a payoff for sitting through the world’s slowest ghost story. And it saved this flick from scoring even lower. Just don’t go in expecting horror fireworks. You’ll get more chills from forgetting to pay your electric bill.

Bury Me When I'm Dead (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/bury-me-when-im-dead-2025/

The Life of Chuck (2025) | A surreal, heartfelt tale told in reverse, The Life of Chuck celebrates the randomness that makes life worth living. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.5/10. Mike Flanagan has carved out a space for himself as the guy who can adapt Stephen King without mangling it, and The Life of Chuck is further proof of that. Based on King’s short story from If It Bleeds, the film is equal parts surreal, heartfelt, and quietly devastating. It’s one of those movies that sneaks up on you—an extraordinary story about an ordinary man, Charles “Chuck” Krantz, who experiences the beauty, heartbreak, and randomness of existence.

The film takes a deliberately unconventional approach, telling Chuck’s story out of order, beginning with Act 3: Thanks Chuck. Here, the world seems to be unraveling, though no one can quite explain why. We meet various characters, all just as baffled by the mysterious Chuck Krantz and his 39-year anniversary as the audience is. Chiwetel Ejiofor shines as Marty Anderson, grounding the confusion with gravitas. Flanagan uses this section to steep us in unease—questions without answers, quiet panic, and the suggestion that something much larger than us is at work.

Nick Offerman provides narration throughout, a wise and steadying voice that manages to guide us through the odd structure without overexplaining. His tone fits perfectly, offering a thread of continuity as we move backward in time to Act 2: Buskers Forever. This section has its own strange energy, anchored by Tom Hiddleston, who throws himself into a street performance with such abandon you can’t help but smile. In one of the film’s more charmingly absurd moments, a passerby just so happens to know the dance routine he’s busting out—because what’s a heartfelt story without a little bit of movie magic?

Finally, we arrive at Act 1: I Contain Multitudes. After all the heaviness and surrealism, this chapter delivers a heartfelt gut punch in the form of young Chuck (Benjamin Pajak) and his grandmother, played with warmth by Trinity Jo-Li Bliss. Their dance scene together is pure joy, the kind of moment that feels small yet contains an entire world of meaning. Honestly, after Chuck pulled out those moves at school, he’d have been the most popular kid in class. The sequence captures the innocence and wonder of youth in a way that sticks with you.

The ensemble is uniformly strong—adults and kids alike give it their all. Mark Hamill, in a role that could easily be overlooked, delivers a superb turn as Chuck’s grandfather. His presence adds a quiet weight to the film, reminding us that life’s meaning is often passed down through fleeting, seemingly insignificant moments.

What makes The Life of Chuck work is how it embraces life’s randomness. It acknowledges that what shapes us often feels arbitrary: a glance, a laugh, a loss, a song. Yet it’s in these moments—good, bad, and mundane—that the essence of who we are emerges. Flanagan, once again, shows he’s not just a horror director but one of contemporary cinema’s great horror directors.

The Life of Chuck (2025)

It’s a beautiful, tender film about the value of life itself. A shame it didn’t get a wider release, because this is one worth being seen and felt.

https://jackmeat.com/the-life-of-chuck-2025/

Spiral Drive (2020) | Appalachian aliens force two wannabe filmmakers to keep rolling. Found footage clichés aside, Spiral Drive goes places you don’t expect. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. Two estranged friends hit the road to shoot a feature film. That’s already a red flag—nobody ever makes good decisions when cameras are rolling in the middle of nowhere. Sure enough, instead of coming back with a script, Will (Erik Fitzpatrick) and Evan (Ben Rutz) end up snatched by some Appalachian cryptid that apparently moonlights as a tour guide through a forest labyrinth. Nothing says reconciliation quite like trying not to get shocked in Spiral Drive.

Credit where it’s due: Fitzpatrick and Rutz sell their friendship (or lack thereof) pretty well. If they aren’t buddies in real life, they should be, because their banter comes off natural—annoying, but natural. If they are real friends, then well, they’ve got years of practice sniping at each other. Either way, it works.

And yes, folks, it’s found footage. Because why not? Nothing screams “authentic horror” quite like shaky cam in the dark and lots of heavy breathing. Still, I’ll give Spiral Drive this: it actually bothers to explain why they don’t just drop the damn camera and run. In this case, the creature wants them to keep filming, like a twisted director forcing reshoots. Finally, a half-plausible reason why people cling to their camcorders while being chased through the woods.

Of course, there are some glaring issues. When our heroes realized they were lost, maybe stopping at the strip mall or one of the nearby residential houses would’ve been a smarter option than venturing down a sketchy dirt road that screams “alien buffet ahead.” Uneven pacing? Absolutely. Dragging scenes? Definitely. But hey, it has imagination, and for someone who usually loathes this genre with the fire of a thousand suns, my not tearing it apart is high praise.

The real takeaway here: somebody needs to give Fitzpatrick a budget. Not because I think he’d make a masterpiece, but because one, I’d like to see what he could actually pull off with some resources—and two, it would get him off camera. His character was by far the one I was rooting for the aliens to probe into oblivion.

In the end, Spiral Drive is like finding a VHS tape under your car seat that costs more to rewind than to make. It’s not good, but it’s not completely hopeless either. If this movie had a $50 million budget? Easy—knock three points off my score. Since there is no trailer on YouTube, here is the entire movie. Check it out since this was uploaded by the creators. So it shouldn't be taken down for any illegal reasons.

Spiral Drive (2020)

https://jackmeat.com/spiral-drive-2020/

Cast looks good, sex is plentiful, but the story’s missing in action—Honey Don’t! is a stylish noir curiosity without a case. #jackmeatsflix...

My quick rating – 5.2/10. Bakersfield, 2024. A city that looks like it’s been dressed by a drunk vintage store clerk with half neon vape shops, half smoky jazz clubs that should’ve been condemned in ’48. And in the middle of it all, Honey O’Donahue, a private investigator with two desires, one of them being justice. The other? Well, you’ll find out well before the halfway mark of Honey Don’t! and let’s just say it doesn’t involve a magnifying glass.

Margaret Qualley slips into Honey’s trench coat, fresh from The Substance and ready to squint into the Bakersfield sun like she means business. She’s got the chops, but the movie gives her more bedroom eyes than detective clues. Aubrey Plaza shows up as MG Falcone, an officer of the law and part-time sex toy, because apparently the precinct handbook allows that now. Plaza does her usual dry, sardonic thing, which works great until you realize she’s mostly here to service the script’s hormonal urges. And then there’s Chris Evans, holier-than-thou, sex-crazed Reverend Devlin, who chews his lines like they’re communion wafers dipped in bourbon. Could everyone be exactly as they seem?

The setup promised a noir mystery: a string of strange deaths tied to a church, a P.I. (“dick” would sound weird with the sexual undertones LOL) trying to untangle it, and a detective who can’t wrap his head around the concept of lesbians. But instead of a casebook, we get a scrapbook of sex scenes, all stitched together by Ethan Coen like he was making a mood board for “Hot Noir, Lesbian Edition.” The action scenes—bloody, stylish, a little jagged—are the only moments where the film feels alive. The rest is more like a dream where someone spliced The Big Sleep with late-night cable.

The eccentric characters and confusing time-warp aesthetic might work better if you’re a die-hard Coen fan who enjoys their brand of playful chaos. But even then, this feels undercooked, like a set of quirky ideas thrown in a blender without the glue to make them stick. The best running gag belongs to Charlie Day as Detective Metakawich, whose relentless refusal to believe Honey is a lesbian becomes the movie’s sharpest joke. The best scene, well… let’s just say that dream with Plaza going down on Qualley has finally been realized for you.

The aesthetic—1940s trench coats rubbing elbows with Teslas and smartphone references—is deliberately confusing, and maybe that’s the point. But confusion isn’t the same as depth, and Honey Don’t! feels like it wandered into its own smoke cloud and forgot how to get out. Coen fans might find it a fun watch, if only because it jerks the viewer around enough times to feel like a parody of his earlier work. But when the smoke cleared, I was left with loose ends, unfinished business, and the nagging suspicion this whole thing was built around a single fantasy scene.

In short, the cast looks good, the sex is plentiful, but the story is missing in action. As a noir pastiche, it’s a curiosity. As a movie, it’s more like a series of disconnected events, strung together with sex scenes and eccentricities.

Honey Don’t! (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/honey-dont-2025/