Meg 2: The Trench (2023) | With Mutiny coming this weekend, I revisited Meg 2. Great visuals but so hokey I wondered if this was Fast & Furious: Fish Tank Edition. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.5/10. Pretty sure they took The Meg and threw it into a pot with Fast & Furious. Stirred vigorously, and then dumped the goo into the ocean. That pretty much explains Meg 2: The Trench.

I went into this expecting at least some of the horror vibe from the first movie. Instead, this sequel gradually turns into a full-blown underwater action spectacle where the megalodons are apparently just another item on the Hollywood "things Jason Statham can punch" checklist.

The movie picks up after the events of The Meg, with Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) once again heading into the deep to deal with giant prehistoric sharks. This time, a shady mining operation threatens the research team's mission and, naturally, everyone's lives. Because apparently the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean weren't dangerous enough without someone deciding to start drilling.

The opening stretch is actually pretty damn good. The underwater exploring adds an air of adventure to the film. The visuals really do a good job of capturing the magnitude and beauty, but also the fear of the abyss. There's something about looking out at the dark depths below and knowing that there are most likely creatures lurking that want to eat you.

Then the movie remembers it's supposed to be a giant Hollywood popcorn flick.

The more it progressed, the more the suspense was substituted by an increasingly absurd array of action scenes. I kept waiting for that tense, claustrophobic feeling from the first to return, but Meg 2 would rather throw another explosion at me.

And that is where the trouble began. Not that a film involving prehistoric sharks has to have realism. Of course, we have already crossed that line and thrown it into the mouth of a megalodon. There are times when the film veers into such hokeyness that it begins to undermine itself.

The dinosaur-like creatures that suddenly become major predators are a perfect example. They feel like somebody in the writers' room said, "You know what this needs? More shit with teeth."

And there are plenty of other moments where the movie seems determined to out-stupid itself. I can take ridiculous if the movie is dedicated to it, but Meg 2 sometimes comes across as trying to make me take the ridiculousness seriously right after making me laugh at it.

Luckily, Jason Statham is still Jason Statham, so this film has Statham looking ready to take care of any worldwide emergency using nothing more than a wrench and his attitude. Page Kennedy also steals practically every scene he's in, providing some much-needed comic relief whenever the movie starts taking itself too seriously.

The underwater visuals really save this one. It does a fantastic job at portraying how vast and mysterious the ocean can be, and the deep-sea footage is by far the best part of the film. The problem is that the film loses a lot of this mood to larger action and explosions.

That's my biggest disappointment. The Meg succeeded in making its ludicrous plot work by adding enough suspense to create some threat from the giant shark. Meg 2 seems to care more about making the megalodon the star of an aquatic action franchise.

With a couple of movies by Ben Wheatley under my belt, I knew what to expect (Normal was anything but). However, it didn’t dawn on me that Meg 2 would turn out to be the Fast & Furious: Deep Sea Drift. It’s fun. The action is in place, and there are enough massive sharks to keep the popcorn popping. Just don't go looking for the dread of the first installment.

Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

Meg 2: The Trench is less "something terrifying is lurking beneath us," and more "Jason Statham has approximately 90 minutes to beat the shit out of the ocean." Wonder who the target will be this weekend in Mutiny?

https://jackmeat.com/meg-2-the-trench-2023/

Her Private Hell (2026) | Her Private Hell looks great, but after an hour, I was begging the neon nightmare to actually give me a story. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.1/10. Her Private Hell starts with a futuristic-looking cityscape buried under enough fog, I was wondering if the budget went to the cast or a really expensive smoke machine. Elle (Sophie Thatcher) arrives at the Tower hotel, which looks exactly as ominous as a place called the Tower hotel should. There she meets Hunter (Kristine Froseth), before Dominique (Havana Rose Liu), Elle's stepmother, joins them for some truly narcissistic dialogue that somehow manages to tell us almost nothing about the movie they're supposedly there to make.

Naturally, we get the family backstory instead. Elle's father is Johnny Thunders (Dougray Scott), because apparently everyone in this universe needs a name that sounds like it belongs on a progressive rock album.

Then a mysterious mist engulfs the advanced metropolis and unleashes a deadly, elusive entity. And then the strange mist surrounds the highly advanced city and releases a lethal, mysterious creature. In the meantime, an American GI soldier, Private K (Charles Melton), undertakes a terrible quest to save his daughter and comes across a mentally unstable girl looking for her father. Now, if all of this seems exciting, join the club. I thought so, too.

Visually, they absolutely nailed the movie-within-the-movie. The retro high-tech aesthetic has a great old-school sci-fi quality, particularly during the girls' filming scene. I got a dated William Shatner-era Star Trek vibe. The film is directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, so people who have seen films of his know that the film will offer them lots of neon colors and carefully composed shots.

And the visuals really are impressive. Even the initial Private K sequence has an interesting pan-and-scan quality that makes the whole thing feel like some forgotten piece of futuristic VHS trash that somehow received a very expensive makeover.

Unfortunately, around the one-hour mark, I said out loud, "This is boring." That is generally not the reaction you want with roughly 50 minutes left.

The themes are there. Unstable families. Fame as a prison. Fathers and daughters. The crushing emptiness lurking beneath glamour. It would appear that Refn is attempting a "Neon Giallo" horror film, full of metaphorical visual imagery and dream logic. Unfortunately, there simply isn’t enough story to support all that visual poetry.

Things happen. Then other things happen. Characters move through increasingly beautiful images. More things happen.

Eventually, I realized I was watching events rather than a story.

This is a prime example of style over substance. Her Private Hell is an absolute treat in terms of its look, but it never gives any significance to that imagery in terms of plot to get me interested. It's a beautiful nightmare that forgot to give me a reason to have the nightmare.

There are films where the lack of conventional storytelling becomes hypnotic. This isn't one of them. In this case, the dreamlike staging gradually turns into a test of endurance, and what once was mysterious soon becomes wondering if we are ever going to get a story.

A generous 4.1, largely because this thing looks so damn good. For about 110 minutes, I was trapped inside someone else's visual poetry exercise.

Turns out, Her Private Hell was my private hell.

Her Private Hell (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/her-private-hell-2026/

It Ends (2026) | It Ends traps four recent grads on an endless highway where the car never needs gas, phones never die, and AAA doesn't exist. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. I got an early look at It Ends, which starts with four recent graduates heading out for some late-night grub and one final hangout before life sends them all in different directions. Instead, they accidentally turn onto a two-lane road that apparently has no friggin' end.

The movie opens with an empty vehicle sitting beside a forest road in the middle of nowhere, its door hanging open and the warning beep merrily announcing that something has gone very wrong. Then we cut to what appears to be the same vehicle earlier, before whatever happened to it. Four young adults pile into a Jeep Cherokee and head off. The good news is that nobody is immediately irritating, and they don't seem to hate each other either, which already puts It Ends ahead of plenty of horror movies.

Eventually, they realize they should have reached their destination by now. They turn around, figuring they missed a turn, only to hit a dead end. That's when they realize something else is going on. After stopping to collect themselves, the shit really hits the fan.

And that is when It Ends. Okay, the movie doesn't actually end 15 minutes in. That's just when the title finally appears, because apparently things are about to get weird.

Stopping the car seems to attract a mob that wants nothing more than to bum-rush them like shoppers on Black Friday back in the day. The road is always straight, the car never seems to need fuel, and nobody develops the inconvenient problems of hunger, sleep deprivation, dead phone batteries, or eventually asking, "So... are we just going to drive forever?"

At 56,182 miles, about 44 minutes in, the focus shifts to Tyler (Mitchell Cole). Something happens to him, so let's just say the attention isn't exactly random. We then get "Way Later" on screen, accompanied by upbeat music and a montage of the car driving that feels like the opening credits to a TV show nobody wanted to watch.

They've even already hypothesized that they are stuck in purgatory, and really, I don't think I could come up with a more appropriate answer than that. I mostly wondered whether writer/director Alex Ullom had figured out how to escape the highway-shaped corner he'd driven himself into.

Day (Akira Jackson) and Fisher (Noah Toth) get the spotlight at 835,471 miles, followed by James (Phinehas Yoon) at 1,153,956 miles. I liked the idea of focusing on each character as the journey continued, and the ending was funny whether it was supposed to be or not.

It Ends is far more existential than horror. There are a couple of jump scares early on, but the real tension comes from psychological exhaustion and being trapped in a surreal highway loop with no off-ramp. It's about purpose, existence, and appreciating the little things when you have no idea where you're going.

Ullom provides us with food for thought, but the movie keeps driving for too long without offering answers to the many questions it raises. I thought I was watching some elongated, lost episode of The Twilight Zone.

It Ends (2026)

Instead of a traditional slasher, It Ends turns an endless highway into a metaphor for feeling stuck and searching for meaning. I just occasionally felt like I was the one trapped in the Jeep with them.

Hitting theaters on 08.21.26, so check back later for streaming links.

https://jackmeat.com/it-ends-2026/

Run (1991) | I remembered liking Run, and thankfully 2026 me agrees that this silly little ’90s action flick still knows how to have fun. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.0/10. I’ll admit it. I remember plopping Run (1991) on at West Coast Video on workdays when I couldn’t think of anything else. I also remember liking it quite a bit. So, naturally, it’s time to find out whether 1991 me had terrible taste or whether 2026 Jackmeat can still recognize a good time.

Boston law student and part-time mechanic Charlie Farrow (Patrick Dempsey) gets asked by his boss to deliver a new Porsche from Boston to Atlantic City. Because apparently “law student and mechanic” is the perfect resume for driving an expensive car across state lines. Naturally, the Porsche breaks down just outside Atlantic City.

While Charlie waits for repairs, a cab driver mistakes him for a high roller and drops him at a casino where he can grab some food. Charlie then proceeds to beat local tough guy Denny Halloran (A.C. Peterson) at poker, which is generally not the ideal way to introduce yourself to a town where Denny’s father owns the casino, the police force, and seemingly every other building.

Things get worse when Denny starts a fight, trips, smacks his head on the sharp corner of the counter and dies. Charlie, who has apparently never heard the phrase “No one cares if you're innocent,” becomes the prime suspect. Suddenly he’s running from both the cops and Matt Halloran’s henchmen, while the body count starts climbing.

And yep, this is bringing it all back.

There’s something wonderfully 1990s about Run. The music, the overhead city shots that were apparently filmed by a helicopter because drones didn’t exist, and Patrick Dempsey jogging around before casually taking all his buddies’ money in poker. Then comes the offer to deliver a car to Atlantic City and, for a brief moment, it looks like we’re getting a nice little highway-cruising movie.

Nope. Car breaks down. Welcome to hell.

Kelly Preston plays Karen, the one person in town who knows Charlie is innocent and reluctantly helps him out. She’s good in the role, especially considering Karen repeatedly finds herself helping a guy whose survival strategy seems to be making increasingly terrible decisions. That name didn't have a double meaning back then.

And that’s really Run in a nutshell. Bad decisions. And luck.

Charlie is not some unstoppable action hero. He’s basically a wimpy outsider who has stumbled into a town run by a crime boss and has to spend the rest of the movie running for his life. Instead of the usual “shady guy owns a town and the outsider beats the shit out of everyone” setup, Run asks a more realistic question. What if the outsider is just some dude who really, really does not want to die?

There’s also a memorable dog-racing subplot that I had completely forgotten about until it showed up, at which point my brain went, "OH CRAP, I remember this." That might be the most uttered phrase in my head all movie long.

Is Run (1991) great? Absolutely not. It’s silly, ridiculous, and the plot requires Charlie to make enough questionable decisions to keep the movie going. But it has that particular early-’90s action-thriller charm that’s becoming increasingly difficult to fake. It’s energetic, dumb in mostly entertaining ways, and has exactly the sort of ridiculous premise that used to make grabbing a random VHS from West Coast Video a perfectly acceptable way to spend an evening.

Run (1991)

Turns out 1991 Jackmeat wasn’t completely full of shit. (A few years later in 1994, that nickname is born and used everywhere online.)

Still silly fun.

https://jackmeat.com/run-1991/

Soulm8te (2026) | Soulm8te is what happens when a lonely guy gets a naked robot girlfriend and immediately starts editing her code. Where's the problem? #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.1/10. Soulm8te starts with some soothing music before sliding into a sex scene that is clearly being monitored. It eventually ends with some unwanted autoerotic asphyxiation, then cuts to an ad for a tech company working on home automation. So yeah, you can probably figure out the woman doing the choking was a robot. Subtle stuff.

After a ruthless tech giant acquires a small robotics company, grieving engineer David (David Rysdahl, who clearly won't be missing those production cues) gets tasked with testing their new AI companion. When he decides to reprogram her to become a truly sentient soulmate, she develops needs of her own and eventually unleashes a precision-engineered spree of mayhem.

I quickly recognized our android Sara/Lydia as Lily Sullivan, who played Beth in Evil Dead Rise. There has been a suspicious amount of Evil Dead crossover in my recent viewing. I am apparently living in an Evil Dead cinematic universe. And I like it.

At first, the soulmate is just a cloud-based AI companion. Then the full-size, naked robot arrives. Good news, she comes with a schoolgirl outfit, because apparently the filmmakers wanted to make absolutely certain nobody misunderstood what this companion was designed for. LOL.

Those pulsating eyes when Sara goes into power-saving mode are creepy. David, meanwhile, takes approximately twelve seconds to plug himself into Sara's system and start removing safeguards so she can act more "human." Has anyone informed David that humans can often suck? He also doesn't take long to start plugging something else into her, while simultaneously editing her computer code left and right and generally tinkering with the expensive murder robot.

Pretty dumb move for a supposedly smart guy.

Of course, the pretty android eventually gets attacked by a sleazy asshole so she can kick the shit out of him. It's already an obligatory scene in this particular flavor of killer-robot movie. Another familiar trope arrives in the form of David's real-life friend Aubrey (Claudia Doumit), who naturally becomes a threat to the robot love affair.

And there is a kill in this one that you won't soon forget. LOL. Director Kate Dolan works in a couple of good kills, and that's where the movie starts having some fun with itself.

Soulm8te reminded me a lot of Companion, just not quite as well made. Sullivan does a good job with the robotic expressions and movements, giving Sara that slightly-off quality that makes these android characters work. People seem to be comparing this one more to M3GAN, which makes sense because both movies are connected through that Elsie home assistant. So apparently they exist in the same killer-robot universe.

The internet, naturally, has decided this movie is better than everything else in the genre because that's apparently the sheep move you're supposed to make now. I would put it somewhere around M3GAN 2.0. For comparison, Companion is better than all three.

This was shot before Obsession and then dumped onto streaming after M3GAN 2.0 flopped at the box office, which probably explains why it feels like something that was sitting around waiting for its turn.

It's cheesy, it's fun, and it's worth a one-off view. Just don't expect the next great killer-robot movie.

Soulm8te (2026)

Side note: Please pay attention to the English language. The movie should be titled "Soulm8", NOT "SoulmEIGHTte" as this title implies. You're welcome.

https://jackmeat.com/soulm8te-2026/

Corporate Retreat (2026) | Not the worst Saw knockoff I've seen, but definitely one where “team bonding” takes a very literal and extremely bloody turn. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.3/10. At least Corporate Retreat didn't waste time establishing that this team-building exercise is going to be a little more aggressive than trust falls and a tug-of-war. The movie opens with sweeping shots of a gorgeous estate, followed by some dead bodies, because apparently the HR department at Immaculate Ponds has a very different definition of “company culture.”

Then we meet the employees: Cliff (Elias Kacavas), Ginger (Odeya Rush), Carl (Ashton Sanders), Devin, Billie, Omar, Deborah (Rosanna Arquette), Aubrey, and enough other people to make me wonder whether the film was going to remember all of them. Or more importantly, am I supposed to? It helpfully flashes their names and job titles on screen, so at least someone in the production knew I was going to need a cheat sheet.

They're all heading to a corporate retreat, although Cliff has told Ginger they're going on a romantic getaway. That lie probably works better when the destination isn't a mansion where the welcome package includes hanging corpses.

It doesn't take long before someone discovers the bodies and gets grabbed, kicking off a series of Saw-lite trials that deliver plenty of practical gore and some nasty kills. Unfortunately, the movie occasionally lets the CGI blood ruin the fun. One early beheading has blood that doesn't even splatter onto the ground, which is a pretty significant problem when your movie is trying to convince me someone just lost their head. The practical effects fare much better, and when Corporate Retreat gets messy, it can get properly messy.

The corporate satire is there, too, although the script doesn't squeeze nearly enough blood from that particular stone. There are plenty of opportunities to turn workplace politics, ambition, and soulless corporate culture into something truly vicious, but the movie settles for being more of a survival horror with corporate wallpaper. I still identified with plenty of the corporate nonsense enough to enjoy the jabs Aaron Fisher did take.

Rosanna Arquette is also criminally underused. Why bring in Arquette and then barely let her have fun? That's basically a corporate crime in itself. The disgruntled ex-owner Arthur, played by Alan Ruck was a fun nostalgic touch.

Odeya Rush, meanwhile, surprised me. She does a good job carrying the material, especially considering this is very much the sort of horror movie where someone's primary job requirement eventually becomes “try not to get horribly murdered.” The film also knows exactly the audience it's targeting, including one particularly overdrawn eyeball-gouging scene that will absolutely test the limits of anyone who doesn't enjoy watching eyeballs being introduced to blunt objects.

The biggest problem is the script. There's a decent horror-comedy buried in here, and the practical gore, dark humor, and occasional twists show flashes of what this could have been with a little more polish. Instead, it feels like a Saw knockoff that occasionally remembers it has a corporate comedy hiding somewhere inside it.

Corporate Retreat (2026)

Still, it's not the worst Saw ripoff I've seen. There's enough blood, ridiculousness, and black humor to keep it moving, and the ending got an actual laugh out of me. Because naturally, after all that corporate carnage and eyeball-spooning, the movie ends with “Can't Take My Eyes Off You.” That's probably the most appropriate performance review the movie could give itself.

https://jackmeat.com/corporate-retreat-2026/

The Death of Robin Hood (2026) | Hugh Jackman makes a convincing Robin Hood, although this version spends considerably less time stealing from the rich and more time regretting it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. My quick rating - 6.2/10. It starts with some pretty bitter weather, a woman picking berries off a half-dead bit of shrubbery in Anno Domini 1247. Or 1247 AD, if you didn't know what the letters stood for. She eventually collapses on the freezing ground, at which point a random dude finds her and sets up a fire. The old man turns out to be Hugh Jackman, who informs her that no one looks out for the meek and that she should make haste if she ever meets this Robin Hood. Sets the tone for The Death of Robin Hood.

Shortly after, she attempts to sneak up on him and discovers that this was excellent advice.

This is not the Robin Hood story where everyone has suspiciously perfect teeth, immaculate medieval clothing and enough energy to perform a sword fight after riding a horse for six hours. The Death of Robin Hood goes for something considerably darker and more grounded. Mostly grounded in mud, misery and what appears to be a complete lack of central heating.

There are some beautiful landscapes as Robin and his pal Edward, played by Bill Skarsgård, wander through the medieval countryside. The setting creates a world that feels immersive and authentic, although authenticity in this case seems to mean everyone is cold, exhausted, dirty and about three minutes away from a horrible death.

And when the violence does arrive, it is brutal. This isn't the glorious Robin Hood of old, firing arrows while dramatically standing on horseback and stealing from rich people who deserve it for being rich. This Robin Hood has spent a lifetime committing crimes and killing people, and the film is much more interested in what that does to a man.

Gravely injured after a battle he believes will be his last, Robin ends up in the hands of a mysterious woman who offers him a chance at salvation. From there, the movie settles into its real purpose. Getting Robin to confront the consequences of his life and the considerable weight of his past.

And it takes its bloody time doing it.

This is very slow. Not "put the kettle on during a quiet scene" slow. More "the kettle has boiled, you've made the tea, finished the tea, washed the mug and Robin is still contemplating his life choices" slow.

But the slower approach does give the film room for some good dialogue and genuine reflection. Jackman is also a strong Robin Hood, even if he's playing a version of the character who is less interested in swinging from ropes and more interested in wondering where it all went wrong.

It is a sincere movie, and I appreciate that. There is clearly an attempt to do something different with a character we've seen reinvented about as many times as Hollywood can find reasons to visit Sherwood Forest.

It may not be an instant classic, and the pacing will probably test your patience if you are expecting a traditional Robin Hood adventure. But it's a solid, well-made and surprisingly thoughtful take on the character. Just don't expect much swashbuckling. This is Robin Hood after the fun years, when the bills are due and the consequences have finally arrived.

The Death of Robin Hood (2026)

https://jackmeat.com/the-death-of-robin-hood-2026/