The Christmas Spirit (2022) | An earnest but dull Christmas parable where angels intervene for problems most people solve without supernatural assistance. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.4/10. The Christmas Spirit is yet another reminder of my greatest cinematic weakness. Once a movie starts, I almost never shut it off. In this case, that commitment was tested early and often. Based on the title and the vague description I stumbled across beforehand, I was somehow expecting something wildly different, something closer to “a wrestling fan is instructed to kidnap a teenage girl who resembles his dead sister to save Christmas.” (IMDB) What I got instead was a Hallmark-looking, faith-forward holiday drama that wears its Christian messaging proudly on its sleeve. And yes, I watched the whole thing.

The story centers on Faith (Ricki Nelson), who returns home after learning of her father’s tragic death. She’s now faced with a supposed life-altering choice - continue her education or abandon her plans to take over her father’s ministry. While grappling with grief, she’s visited by an unwanted celestial guest, Gabriel (Amiri Koronz Thompson), who appears to guide her through her emotional turmoil and spiritual crossroads. On paper, it’s a familiar setup for these kinds of holiday films. On screen, it feels like something you’ve already seen a dozen times, just with different actors and a slightly tweaked sermon.

The film opens with some decent Christmas visuals, festive music, and a car accident to kickstart the drama, but things go downhill quickly. The acting is, bluntly, awful across the board. Faith herself is somewhat capable and clearly trying, which almost makes it worse, because nearly everyone around her feels like they wandered in from a community theater rehearsal they didn’t want to attend. Gabriel, in particular, looks painfully bored throughout the entire movie, as if this were his acting class final exam and attendance was mandatory.

Visually, the movie screams “low-budget Hallmark knockoff,” complete with awkward transitions and an endless stream of melodramatic music swelling in the background. The score never lets a single emotion breathe on its own, constantly telling you how to feel, even when nothing particularly emotional is happening. It was testing my patience really fast.

The biggest issue, though, is how predictable and unearned everything feels. These Christian holiday films often rely on familiar beats, but The Christmas Spirit doesn’t even try to justify its supernatural angle. Faith has no reason at all why she needs an angel to help with these issues. Losing a loved one, having issues with career path, and whether to follow their parent’s footsteps are all issues people face every day without the help of an angel. The film makes it so big and so special, but it doesn’t deserve it.

The meaning of the intended message is also a bit cloudy. While there is the religious messaging in there, there is also an awkward smattering of warnings pertaining to the dangers of greed and people trying to take advantage of you that simply doesn’t ring with the same sincerity and depth that the writers must have intended. Overall, the entire experience is anything but positive and is instead boring

The Christmas Spirit (2022)

I’m obviously not the target audience for family-friendly Christian holiday films, but even judging it on its own terms, The Christmas Spirit is a slog. Predictable, poorly acted, and emotionally flat, it’s the kind of movie that tests your endurance more than your holiday spirit - and sadly, mine survived it, but just barely.

https://jackmeat.com/the-christmas-spirit-2022/

Dead Snow 2 (2014) | Dead Snow 2 truly is The Sequel You Did Nazi Coming, embracing excess and stupidity in the most entertaining way possible. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.6/10. Dead Snow 2, later rebranded as Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead, kicks off with a recap of the first Dead Snow delivered by Martin (Geir Vegar Hoel), the unlucky survivor who famously hacked off his own arm in pure Evil Dead 2 fashion. If you’re worried the sequel might gently reset things, don’t be. It literally starts right where the first one ended, tossing Martin straight back into a snowy slap-fight with zombie Nazis. And I am glad it does.

After yet another narrow escape, Martin wakes up in a hospital and quickly discovers that his severed, infected arm has been surgically reattached. You don’t need to be a horror scholar to know exactly where that’s going, and Wirkola wastes no time milking it for both gore and laughs. The arm has opinions. Violent ones. And it sets the tone perfectly for a sequel that understands escalation is the name of the game.

Tommy Wirkola returns as writer/director, and this time he’s clearly been handed a bigger budget. Thankfully, more money hasn’t sanded off the rough edges. Instead, it just means Wirkola can afford a tank, more locations, and a significantly higher body count. The zombie Nazis are no longer content to loiter ominously in the mountains. They have ambitions now. World War II ambitions. After a stop at a WWII museum, Martin figures out the undead horde plans to finish the mission they were slaughtered before completing. Naturally, this involves recruiting more soldiers, the only way zombies know how: killing people and then touching their faces.

Here’s the twist - Martin’s zombie arm can recruit people, too. Suddenly, it’s undead fascists versus undead resistance fighters, which is not a sentence I ever expected to type with a straight face. While all this is happening, Martin accidentally alerts the Zombie Squad, an elite American team of undead-fighting specialists who fly over to Norway to help. They’re led by Daniel (Martin Starr), whom I realized I have been watching on Tulsa King, and his crew arrives armed, confident, and wildly unprepared for just how insane things are about to get.

Why stop there? Wirkola certainly doesn’t. The solution to the Nazi problem might involve resurrecting the Russian soldiers Herzog (Ørjan Gamst), the zombie Nazi leader, massacred during the war. Along the way, the Nazi advance leads to some wonderfully excessive pillaging, with intestines becoming frequent, enthusiastic participants. The bumbling policeman Gunga (Hallvard Holmen) is an idiot in the most lovable way, and the group’s zombie buddy (Kristoffer Joner) delivers consistent comic relief without wearing out his welcome.

The action is surprisingly well-choreographed, the Gore Factor is gleefully over-the-top, and the whole shebang has a morbid finale to the tune of Bonnie Tyler that’s just as expected. It even leaves viewers pondering that age-old question: Is sex with a zombie considered necrophilia?

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)

I'd have to say Dead Snow 2 sits comfortably alongside the original - same silly tone, same extreme gore, and the same sense that the filmmakers watched Dead Alive on repeat and thought, “Haven't seen Mum yet.” A must-see for horror-comedy fans around Christmas who like their splatter served with a wink and a chainsaw.

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2-2014/

Dead Snow (2009) | Dead Snow proves Christmas movies don’t need joy when they have zombie Nazis and enough gore to melt the ice. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. Dead Snow is the kind of movie that hears the phrase “Bad Taste” and just rockets a snowmobile right on top of it, thank the gods. Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola, this Norwegian splatter-comedy takes a simple premise and gleefully drowns it in buckets of the red stuff, and splatters it all over undead Nazis who refuse to stay dead.

The setup is classic cabin-in-the-woods territory. Eight medical students head out on a ski trip to a remote mountain lodge in Norway, looking for booze, bonding, and a temporary escape from responsibility. What they get instead is a history lesson soaked in arterial spray. An early scene teases the presence of Nazi zombies backed by some Christmas tunes before shifting focus to the group, which turns out to be a smart move. By the time the undead soldiers march back into frame, you’re already settled in and ready for the carnage.

Visually, Dead Snow looks far better than its budget might suggest. The snowy mountain landscapes are gorgeous, the glowing tent scene is legitimately striking, and the stark white environment makes every splash of red pop like a Jackson Pollock painting gone feral. When the movie needs to turn up the gore, and it absolutely does, it doesn’t hesitate. Severed limbs, exposed organs, fountains of blood…if you ever wondered how much viscera can stain snow, this movie treats it like a science experiment.

What really makes this work, however, is the way that tones are balanced. The horror is quite graphic, but it is also a part of the fun. The Nazis zombies are automatically comedic characters. While the movie does not overdo the humor and make all of the other characters comedic as a result of the zombies’ presence, this ends up creating a believable dynamic. This allows the violence to be that much more shocking and the humor that much funnier. When panic sets in, it feels earned. When someone does something incredibly stupid, it feels earned, too.

Horror fans will catch plenty of affectionate nods along the way. One character sporting a Braindead (aka Dead Alive) shirt is a nice wink, and there’s a very obvious - and very welcome - homage to Evil Dead II when the group gears up in a shed for their last stand. Add in snowmobiles tearing across the mountains, a perfectly chosen party song backing a zombie massacre, and a siege sequence in a remote cabin, and you’ve got a movie that knows exactly what it’s doing.

Don’t expect a warm, fuzzy Hollywood ending here. Dead Snow commits to its chaos and leaves you splattered and grinning like an idiot. It’s an unrelenting shock-feast, laced with black humor and tongue firmly in cheek, delivering exactly what it promises. If you’re in the mood for stupendous gore, undead armies roaming the countryside, and a movie that understands that “zombie Nazis” is already a punchline, this one is an absolute holiday blast.

Dead Snow (2009)

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2009/

Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022) | A cute premise meets brutal execution, resulting in 47 minutes of confused secondhand embarrassment (mine or Steve's, you pick) #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 2.5/10. Here we go again. My unhealthy obsession with watching anything even remotely branded “Amityville” continues, fully aware that I’m probably about to eat a cinematic gas-station burrito. Enter Amityville Christmas Vacation, a film that asks the bold question: What if Christmas spirit met actual spirits…and nobody involved had any talent?

Wally (played by writer, director, and lead actor Steven Rudzinski) wins a vacation to sunny Amityville. Because, of course, Amityville has a tourism board now. While there, he meets a woman. A woman who is also a ghost. Naturally. Can the magic of Christmas bring these two opposites together? More importantly, do the filmmakers honestly believe this guy is funny? Oh, wait, Rudzinski is the filmmaker. So yes, yes, he absolutely does.

It gets better. Or worse. Or both. His name is Wally Griswold. Subtlety died screaming. The woman running the contest laughs like a discount asylum escapee, and the ghost love interest looks like someone gently pressed her face into a fireplace and called it makeup. “Ethereal” by way of chimney sweep.

The plot, if I'm being generous, reveals that the woman managing the bed & breakfast lures lonely men during Christmas so the ghost haunting the property can kill them. Solid business model. Unfortunately for her, Wally is so clueless that he doesn’t realize the woman he’s dating is literally dead, and they fall in love instead. This enrages the property manager, who hires a paranormal investigator to capture the ghost…in a dog cage. I am not kidding. A dog cage.

Things escalate when the ghost gets emotionally conflicted and hops onto Zoom with her supernatural guidance counselor to talk through her feelings. Again, not making that up. I wish I were. It’s honestly impressive how many untalented people they managed to assemble in one production. That takes effort. Or at least a group text.

Look, more power to Rudzinski for having a dream and sticking to it, but he seems permanently trapped in the bargain bin of low-budget horror comedy. The budget limitations might not be his fault, but the execution absolutely is. He hasn’t made a decent or even average low-budget film that might attract someone willing to throw real money at him, and this one is downright painful.

The sad part? The idea itself is kind of cute. A Christmas ghost romance with horror elements could work. Strip it down, tighten it up, and give it to people who know what they’re doing, and you might have something. Instead, what we get is a cinematic fruitcake. Overly sweet, poorly mixed, and something you immediately regret accepting (been waiting to use that silly analogy).

The one genuinely good thing? A 47-minute runtime. So technically not a movie—more like an episode of Downton Abbey, except somehow with less class. This feels like what Steve, a cat, a couple of his buddies, and the three women who have permanently friend-zoned him brainstormed over cheap beer and zero self-awareness.

Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022)

If you’re like me and can’t stop watching Amityville movies no matter how bad they get, congratulations - Amityville Christmas Vacation is another for your checklist. For everyone else, consider this your warning. It barely misses a #turkey because Rudzinski just tries so damn hard, it is almost charming.

https://jackmeat.com/amityville-christmas-vacation-2022/

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) | A robotic slasher Santa sounds like a great holiday flick but this one unfortunately doesn't live up to that hype. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.1/10. Christmas Bloody Christmas wastes no time introducing us to two characters so aggressively annoying that you may find yourself rooting for them to be the first names crossed off Santa’s list. Riley Dandy and Sam Delich take control of the opening act, delivering a barrage of banter that clearly wants to channel Clerks. The sad thing is, this is not exactly an apt comparison. Rather than solid dialogue and plot, we’re treated to this ridiculous F-bomb diatribe that is completely gratuitous and intended strictly for shock value. The conversation goes on for far too long, and once it finally comes to an end, they again proceed down the inevitable path to the bedroom.

Along the way, the film introduces a few disposable extras and, more importantly, its robo-Santa centerpiece. Television commercials conveniently establish that these robotic Kringles are armed and have already been recalled due to malfunctions, which is about as subtle as a brick through a shop window. That setup exists solely to fast-track us into slasher territory once our two leads commit the ultimate horror sin by having sex inside the store where the Santa is housed. The robot activates, declares them “naughty,” and the killing spree begins.

At that point, I was fully on board. After enduring the overlong intro, I expected the movie to reward my patience with a lean, mean, gore-soaked holiday slasher. Instead, the film starts to wobble. The action becomes uneven, and the mayhem never quite reaches the level of intensity it promises. That said, for its budget, Christmas Bloody Christmas looks pretty solid. The practical effects are the real highlight here, delivering some satisfying brutality that helps keep things afloat even when the pacing falters.

Then we hit the final fifteen minutes, and that’s where everything goes sideways. The film abruptly abandons its slasher identity and transforms into a full-blown killer robot movie. The shift is so extreme that it sent me to Twitter to ask writer-director Joe Begos whether this was meant to be an homage or a straight-up lift from Hardware (he never replied). The resemblance isn’t subtle - it borrows the visual style, the robot’s specific flaw, and even the music. Homage or not, the result feels like the movie completely loses confidence in its own premise right at the finish line.

Up until that turn, Christmas Bloody Christmas plays like an above-average slasher with a gimmick you almost forget is even robotic. In placing the focus of the climax on that part of the story, the movie undermines everything else it was doing right and finishes on a note that’s more borrowed than earned. If you’re looking for something a bit of a bloody Christmas fix, this might hit the spot, but it’s probably a one-and-done. The tonal imbalance and the lack of reward in terms of the story aren’t exactly encouraging of a return visit. As always, use that information as you will.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

https://jackmeat.com/christmas-bloody-christmas-2022/

Dashing Through the Snow (2025) | Less “Dashing through the Snow,” more slipping on ice and pretending it was on purpose. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.5/10. Dashing Through the Snow sounds like a Hallmark movie until you realize it involves a pregnant fugitive, a bounty hunter who learned his trade on TikTok, homicidal elves with axes, and a hitman Santa who apparently skipped both firearms training and basic logic. Set on a snowy Christmas Eve, the film follows U.S. Marshal Joanna Johnston (Scottie Thompson), who is so desperate to avoid her judgmental family that she does the most relatable thing possible: she picks up extra work and accidentally becomes the guardian of a very pregnant criminal while being hunted by discount assassins in elf costumes.

The movie opens strong, or at least intriguing, with a Santa-suited man (David Koechner) staring through a sniper rifle. Tension! Menace! Then we immediately jump back 12 hours earlier, roll credits, and spend the next 20 minutes wondering why we bothered opening with that shot at all. By the time we catch up to the opening scene, you’ll have already forgotten why it mattered, who was aiming at whom, or why the movie didn’t just end right there.

Joanna’s partner, Merv (James Di Giacomo), is introduced during a botched arrest that gets stolen by local social-media bounty hunter Golden (Hunter Ives), described in-film - accurately - as a “douchebag.” This leads to some early precinct banter courtesy of Director Winters (Isaiah Washington), but none of it really lands. The comedy feels like it’s constantly setting up punchlines that never arrive, like a Christmas cracker that refuses to pop.

Then the elves show up. Armed and angry. And apparently immune to common sense. There’s a fight scene involving pool cues, axes, and grown adults flailing around like toddlers in a daycare melee. This is where things really go off the rails, especially considering Michael Jai White is credited for fight choreography. Somewhere, I see Spawn quietly weeping. A U.S. Marshal under attack by axe-wielding midgets should probably be shooting them, not gently nudging them away like she’s at a preschool birthday party.

Dashing Through the Snow also introduces its own fascinating physics. Getting shot barely registers as an inconvenience, like stubbing a toe. Joanna is hit twice, yet there’s no visible blood, no damage to her clothes, and no real sense that bullets behave like, you know… bullets. Rifle shots have zero recoil and all the weight of toy laser guns, which fits the overall “kids playing make-believe” vibe. Remember those elves? Yeah, they just disappear, much like my interest did.

There is some mystery and a little bit of a twist or two, and I would commend writer Stephen Chrabaszcz for at least making an attempt to go off on a different trajectory. Prince Bagdasarian’s direction spoils this attempt with some unnecessary shaky cam and a general lack of refinement. A chase scene shooting on location with vehicles looks like they discovered a shiny new drone and decided to utilize it whether they were shooting a scene where they needed to or not.

Dashing Through the Snow (2025)

And then the ending. Let’s just say the movie has the absolute nerve to tease a sequel. After all this. Bold. Audacious. Rounding up to a 4 is possibly criminal.

https://jackmeat.com/dashing-through-the-snow-2025/

Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025) | Aatami just wants to rebuild his home, but an army insists on turning it into the bloodiest DIY project imaginable. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 7.1/10. Sisu: Road to Revenge wastes absolutely no time reminding you why Aatami Korpi is one of the most indestructible forces in modern action cinema. Returning to the burned-out remains of the home where his family was brutally murdered during the war, “the man who refuses to die” dismantles what’s left, loads the wood onto a truck, and sets out to rebuild it somewhere safe in their honor. That simple, mournful act makes up Chapter 1, Home, and it perfectly reframes this sequel’s motivation. This time, it’s not gold driving Aatami forward; it’s memory, grief, and soon-to-be raw vengeance.

The film opens with just enough exposition to reorient us before dropping into 1946 at a Soviet border station. From there, the clock is ticking. You get roughly 14 minutes of setup, which includes Chapter 2, Old Enemies, which introduces Stephen Lang’s Yeagor, the commander responsible for Aatami’s family’s murder. Once Yeagor realizes who he’s dealing with and decides to finish the job, the movie slams the accelerator to the floor and never lets up.

Chapter 3: Motor Mayhem lives up to its billing, but not in the manner you might aver. This chase scene was neither ordinary nor predictable. Trucks, planes, and army vehicles crash into each other as if carefully planned yet completely insane. The details in the vehicles as well as in the planes used in this chapter are detailed to the last rim, the best being when a plane pursues Aatami's truck before swooping down for an assault that should be documented. Whether it be the director Jalmari Helander or the cinematographer Mika Orasmaa, the anxiety in these moments is not to be dismissed.

Of course, believability still gets thrown off a cliff in true Sisu fashion. Chapter 5, Long Shot, is another friendly reminder to switch off that realism filter. Even more unbelievable is the number of soldiers who somehow know exactly who Aatami is…yet still feel confident taunting him. That confidence never lasts long.

Jorma Tommila once again delivers a near-silent masterclass. His face does all the work, communicating rage, sorrow, and grim resolve without a single unnecessary word. When Chapter 6, Revenge, arrives, Yeagor is well and truly doomed. Shifting the action onto a train gives Aatami a new hunting ground, allowing the tension to spike as he moves through cars full of sleeping soldiers. The punishment he absorbs is borderline superhuman, capped off with a darkly comedic visual that exists solely to prove this man simply cannot be stopped.

The brutality here is staggering. Hand-to-hand combat is vicious, messy, and intimate. Fingers snap, faces are obliterated, and no body part is safe when fists or bullets start flying. The carnage carries us to the Finnish border for the final chapter, where Tommila once again proves dialogue is optional when you can convey everything with a look.

Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025)

Just as good as the first film, Sisu: Road to Revenge sticks to what works - no inner monologues, no quippy one-liners after kills, just a barebones plot and relentless, punishing action. This time, the treasure isn’t gold. It’s a home, rebuilt piece by piece, soaked in blood and memory.

https://jackmeat.com/sisu-road-to-revenge-2025/