Wednesday, March 25, 2026

First Blood (1982) | Small town cops pick a fight with a war-trained drifter and act surprised when it goes horribly wrong for them. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 8.0/10.  If your only exposure to the Rambo name comes from exploding helicopters, infinite ammo, and enough body counts to make your old high school reviews proud. First Blood is here to politely (and then aggressively) correct you.

Revisiting this one, especially in that slick 4K “Ultimate Uncut” form, I quickly realized this isn’t the bandana-wearing action meme people remember. This is a tense, grounded thriller that just happens to feature Sylvester Stallone looking like he could dismantle a small army with a pocket knife and some unresolved trauma.

The setup is deceptively simple. John Rambo rolls into town, just trying to exist, and immediately gets on the wrong side of small-town authority. Enter Brian Dennehy as the cop who wakes up and chooses hostility. He plays it so well that you’re not just rooting against him. You’re actively waiting for karma to arrive like a freight train. Spoiler: it does, and it’s wearing a green jacket.

What really stands out is how quiet this movie is. Stallone barely speaks, but his performance carries weight through pure expression. You can see the pain, the restraint, and the ticking clock before things inevitably go sideways. And when they do? It’s less “rah-rah action hero” and more “oh no…they really shouldn’t have pushed this guy.”

There’s also something oddly funny, intentionally or not, about how casual the cops are early on. They’re cracking jokes, strolling through the woods like it’s a Sunday picnic, completely unaware they’ve just activated hardcore survival mode. That legendary line - “We ain’t hunting him, he’s hunting us” hits like a tonal slap to the face, and it comes in early. From that point on, it’s less a chase and more a slow realization of just how badly they’ve miscalculated.



Director Ted Kotcheff deserves a ton of credit for keeping things practical. There’s minimal gunfire, barely any explosions, and yet the tension is constantly tightening. When action does happen, it feels raw and earned. And no CGI safety nets. When vehicles go crashing down hills, that’s real metal, real gravity, and probably a real insurance headache.

Visually, the Pacific Northwest setting (standing in via British Columbia) adds a ton to the atmosphere. Foggy forests, wet terrain, and rugged mountains make it feel isolated and dangerous. It’s the kind of environment where you absolutely do not want to be hunted by someone who knows what they’re doing, which, unfortunately for everyone involved, Rambo very much does.

Watching it now, it also hits differently thematically. The treatment of Vietnam veterans, the media spin during the manhunt, it all feels uncomfortably relevant. Turns out “fake news” didn’t just spawn with social media - it’s been lurking around long before hashtags were a thing.

After a couple of decades away, nothing about this revisit felt drastically different, but the appreciation definitely hits harder. I am not sure what the Uncut part added. First Blood isn’t just the origin of a franchise - it’s the one entry that actually slows down, breathes, and reminds you there’s a human being behind the legend.

And that makes it way more dangerous than the sequels ever were.

First Blood (1982) #jackmeatsflix
First Blood (1982)
https://jackmeat.com/first-blood-1982/

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025) | The church angle sounds juicy, but drags like a Sunday sermon. The mystery works, I just stopped caring who did it. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.9/10. There’s something oddly comforting about returning to a Knives Out Mystery, like being handed a beautifully wrapped puzzle box and immediately shaking it to see what falls loose. This time, though, Wake Up Dead Man is still polished and expensive-looking, but a few of the pieces feel like they wandered in from a much less interesting game.

The setup wastes no time being…I'd call it memorable. We meet young priest Jud Duplenticy, played by Josh O'Connor, by way of him decking another priest because nothing says “man of God” like opening with a right hook. He’s then shipped off to assist Monsignor Jefferson Wicks, a charismatic, slightly unhinged figure brought to life by Josh Brolin, who delivers a masturbation confession that goes on so long you start wondering if the real crime is how much screen time it eats up.

From there, the film assembles its usual “everyone’s a suspect” lineup… except this time, they kind of aren’t. You’ve got heavy hitters like Glenn Close, Kerry Washington, Jeremy Renner, and Andrew Scott. But they don't pop off the screen with their eccentricity. They mostly blend into the wallpaper. It’s a strange pivot for a franchise that's thrived on wildly different personalities bouncing off each other like verbal pinballs. I mean, how do you waste Thomas Haden Church with so little to say?

Thankfully, when Benoit Blanc finally shows up, once again played with delightful Southern-fried precision by Daniel Craig, the movie gets a much-needed jolt of life. The problem? There’s just not enough of him sleuthing. It’s like ordering your favorite meal and getting a sample instead of the full plate.



The mystery itself is dense and admittedly compelling. It does the heavy lifting because, frankly, not much else does. But where previous entries unraveled their secrets piece by piece, letting us feel clever along the way, this one leans hard into a lengthy, almost lecture-like explanation at the end. It’s less “aha!” and more “oh…okay, I guess.”

Visually speaking, the film is a knockout. The production design is gorgeous, with every frame looking like it was plucked from a gallery. It’s a shame that the conversations taking place in these spaces drag on forever without much payoff – they’re like sermons you politely sit through while checking the time.

Another missed opportunity is the film’s exploration of spirituality. Aside from one preachy conversation late in the game, the religious themes mostly sit in the background, occasionally clearing their throat but never really saying anything meaningful.

Humor-wise, you can feel the film trying. Sometimes really trying to recapture that sharp, effortless wit of its predecessors. A few lines land, but many feel like they’re reaching for laughs that never hit.

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025)
Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025)

At the end of the day, Wake Up Dead Man is still a solid mystery, just not a standout one. It looks incredible, has a few strong performances, and a central puzzle that kept me interested. But it’s missing that spark, that quirky ensemble energy that made the earlier films so much fun to dissect. This one solves the case…but forgets to make you love the ride getting there.

https://jackmeat.com/wake-up-dead-man-a-knives-out-mystery-2025/

Monday, March 23, 2026

Kill Shot (2023) | Kill Shot misses the mark on action and storytelling. Felt like TV movie quality from back in the network days. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.9/10. If “high-octane thrill ride” was the mission statement for Kill Shot, then somewhere along the way, the engine stalled, and someone forgot to hire a stunt coordinator. What we’re left with is a movie that sounds like a good time on paper. Terrorists posing as hunters are tracking down $100 million lost in a plane crash. Instead, it plays out like a forgotten late-night cable filler from the early 2000s.

Kill Shot kicks things off with that premise, which should be an easy win. However, the film delivers fight scenes that feel like they were choreographed five minutes before filming. There’s no weight, no rhythm, and definitely no sense that anyone involved is in actual danger. You’ll spend more time wondering if someone missed their cue than feeling any suspense.

Then there’s the character work, or lack of it. Most of the cast feel like unpaid extras who accidentally wandered into speaking roles. Xian Mikol at least shows flashes of being someone worth watching, like she could’ve been a legitimate threat or standout villain, but the script does her no favors and wastes that potential almost immediately. Everyone else? Interchangeable, forgettable, and operating on autopilot.



And yes…I need to talk about Rachel Cook. More specifically, her butt. The film makes absolutely sure you notice her. It. Repeatedly, and not in a way that serves the story. There’s a moment involving a completely unnecessary tent exit that feels less like character development and more like the director waving a giant flag that says, “Yes, she is in her panties on a hunting trip.” It’s not subtle, and it definitely doesn’t help the film take itself seriously.

Dialogue doesn’t save things either. You’d think a movie like this could at least lean into some fun one-liners or cheesy banter, but instead it lands in that awkward middle ground where nothing is memorable -just flat, occasionally clunky exchanges that drift by without impact.

And just when you think Kill Shot might at least wrap things up cleanly, it pulls the classic “wait for the sequel” move. Bold strategy for a movie that hasn’t earned the first one. It’s less of a cliffhanger and more of a raised eyebrow - like, you think I am watching another?

Kill Shot (2023) #jackmeatsflix
Kill Shot (2023)

In the end, this feels like a throwback to those old network TV action movies. Not in a nostalgic way, but in a “this probably played at 2 PM on a Sunday” kind of way. There’s a decent idea buried here somewhere, but between the weak action, thin characters, and questionable creative choices, Kill Shot misses the target by a pretty wide margin.

https://jackmeat.com/kill-shot-2023/

Sunday, March 22, 2026

The Octagon (1980) | Early Chuck Norris figuring out his one-man army vibe, while ninjas take turns getting absolutely owned. RIP Mr. Norris. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.2/10. The Octagon is one of those movies that feels like a time capsule I wasn't supposed to open unsupervised. But I did anyway, probably way past my bedtime on that Showtime box. With the recent passing of Chuck Norris, going back to revisit one of his early leading roles hits a little differently. This was peak “testing the waters” Norris, before he fully cemented himself as a one-man army, but already radiating that quiet, roundhouse-ready presence.

The setup is straight 80s action cheese. Scott James (Norris), a stoic martial arts expert, is tricked by a wealthy woman into providing protection. From ninjas. Yes, ninjas. Things escalate quickly when his old enemy McCarn (Lee Van Cleef, effortlessly cool as always) enters the picture, leading Scott into a full-blown grudge match with an entire ninja clan. The 80s loved their ninjas.

That opening shootout? Way bloodier than memory serves. It almost tricks you into thinking you’re in for a brutal ride. Nope. After that, it’s back to the classic “guy gets shot and politely folds over” school of action physics. Still, all practical effects, which give it that raw charm modern CGI often struggles to replicate.

And then there’s the inner voice. Oh boy. Norris spends a good chunk of the film coaching himself. From inside his own head. And it’s not the reassuring kind. It’s more like a slightly haunted, echoing voice that sounds like it’s warning him about a curse rather than helping him fight ninjas. It’s unintentionally hilarious and just a little creepy, like your conscience has seen some things.



The real comedy gold, though, is Norris’s delivery. His one-liners land with the emotional range of someone reading a grocery list, which somehow makes them even funnier. It’s that dead-serious, “I absolutely mean this” tone that turns basic dialogue into comedy. You’re not laughing at the joke, you’re laughing at how committed he is to it. "Dammit, don't accuse me." Norris - "I haven't had time."

Visually, you’ve got feathered haircuts everywhere (seriously, it’s like a shampoo commercial broke out mid-production), and a steady supply of ninjas who, toward the finale, politely wait their turn to get knocked out. The fight choreography is solid for its time, clean and watchable, but definitely feels slower compared to today’s hyper-edited chaos. Still, there’s something refreshing about actually seeing what’s happening in a fight.

It was also fun spotting a young Ernie Hudson popping up early in his career. And the classic “two brothers trained together, one chosen, now sworn enemies” trope gets a full workout here, because no martial arts movie is complete without it.

The Octagon isn’t Norris’s best, but it’s an important stepping stone. This was him inching toward the action icon status that would soon be shared with guys like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, though Norris carved his own lane with martial arts and later TV dominance in Walker, Texas Ranger.

The Octagon (1980) #jackmeatsflix
The Octagon (1980)

It’s rough around the edges, unintentionally funny in the right ways, and littered with enough ninjas to keep things entertaining. A nostalgic, slightly bizarre, but very watchable tribute.

RIP Mr. Norris.

https://jackmeat.com/the-octagon-1980/

Saturday, March 21, 2026

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) | All that buildup just to deliver a whole lot of nothing. Honestly impressive how boring a slasher can feel. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.2/10. If you walked into The Strangers: Chapter 3 expecting the franchise to suddenly evolve into something deeper, smarter, or even coherent. That would be a NOPE. This is one of those “commit to the bit or suffer the consequences” situations. And the bit here? Apparently, take everything that made The Strangers work, toss it out the window, and replace it with lore nobody asked for.

Picking up right where Chapter 2 left off (after a quick detour into yet another dramatic reference to the Tamara killing, because clearly we haven’t heard about that enough), Renny Harlin wastes no time diving into “mythology.” And by mythology, I mean awkward flashbacks desperately trying to convince you this family of masked weirdos is terrifying on a deeper level. It doesn’t land. At all. If anything, it feels like the film is trying to gaslight you into thinking this was the plan all along. Spoiler: it absolutely doesn’t feel like it.

We’re back with Maya (Madelaine Petsch), our designated Final Girl, stuck in what’s now apparently a cycle of violence instead of the classic “wrong place, wrong time” terror the franchise built its identity on. She gets forced to overact scenes since there is no tension written in. Meanwhile, her sister Debbie (Rachel Shenton) and brother-in-law Howard (George Young) roll into town with a private detective, poking around like they’re looking for those missing kids from Weapons. Seriously, half their scenes feel like a low-budget crime drama where everyone in town is suspicious purely because the script says so.



I feel bad for Gregory, the Scarecrow played by Gabriel Basso. To be fair, he is actually one of the few things working here. If you’ve seen him in The Night Agent, this is a sharp left turn. He’s got a genuinely intimidating presence, right up until the movie decides he should make decisions so baffling you’ll want to yell at your screen. Leaving Maya alone with a shotgun? Bold strategy. Let’s see how that plays out.

Now, about that “most brutal chapter yet” marketing. Yeah, that’s some bulls*!t. The kills are actually less bloody than before, which is an interesting choice while promoting that tagline. It’s like ordering the spiciest thing on the menu and getting bread. There are practical effects sprinkled in, which look solid, but then the film caps it off with a CGI blood splatter that feels like someone in post production got bored. Consistency? Never heard of it.

What really hurts The Strangers: Chapter 3 is the tone shift. The original appeal was simple and effective. Random, senseless terror. No motives, no explanations, just pure nightmare fuel. Here, the film tries to rewrite that into something more structured, and in doing so, strips away the very thing that made it unsettling. It’s not scarier, it’s just confusing.

Technically, Harlin nails the production side. It looks good, sounds good, and the atmosphere is there…in theory. But atmosphere without tension is just empty space, and this movie has plenty of that. Scenes drag, scares fizzle, and by the time it’s all over, it feels less like a climax and more like the franchise quietly ducking out the door, hoping you won't notice. I did.

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) #jackmeatsflix
The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026)

In the end, this trilogy doesn’t go out with a bang. It limps off like it forgot why it existed. And that is the scariest part.

https://jackmeat.com/the-strangers-chapter-3-2026/

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (March 10, 1940 - March 19, 2026) | A sad day for martial arts fans as we mourn the loss of a legend. RIP Mr. Norris. #jackmeatsflix

It is a sad day in the martial arts world, losing the meme-friendly, incredibly talented & loving man. I first saw Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris in his epic fight with Bruce Lee in The Way of the Dragon (below), or as it was known in the USA, Return of the Dragon, even though it was not a sequel and was actually filmed BEFORE Enter the Dragon. Confused? Not the point. He more or less owned the 80s for martial arts films that didn't suck (in the USA.) He went on to become a staple on TV in Walker, Texas Ranger. After the Internet became a thing, you all knew Chuck Norris as the man who counted to infinity twice, the man who got bit by a cobra, and the cobra died, and many other amusing memes about him being indestructible. ABC News and NBC have more information.



Many of his peers chimed in, such as Stallone and Van Damme, commenting on him as a friend. Today, we found out that a sudden illness was able to catch up with him. RIP Mr. Norris.

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris #jackmeatsflix
Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris, March 10, 1940 - March 19, 2026

https://jackmeat.com/carlos-ray-chuck-norris/

Friday, March 20, 2026

Forgotten Fortune (2026) | You’ve got Lou Ferrigno and JJ Walker, and Forgotten Fortune still somehow forgets to do anything fun with them. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 4.3/10. Walking into Forgotten Fortune felt a bit like stepping into unfamiliar territory for me. Faith-based films aren’t usually my go-to, but if the motto is “I watch everything so you don’t have to,” then here we are. Consider this one taken for the team…with a side of curiosity and a sprinkle of nostalgia.

Written and directed by Esteban “Stevie” Fernandez Jr., Forgotten Fortune follows Brian Franks, played by Brian Shoop, an 82-year-old retired mailman navigating dementia, old memories, and what he believes is a witnessed murder. It’s a premise that actually has some intrigue baked in. An unreliable narrator, a potential crime, and a hidden fortune tied to a forgotten stock purchase. That’s a solid setup…in theory.

Then the movie starts, and for a minute, you might wonder if you accidentally switched over to a network sitcom from 1993. The tone, the lighting, even the delivery - it all has that slightly too-clean, cue-card-adjacent feel. The dialogue, unfortunately, doesn’t help much. A lot of it lands like actors are carefully reading lines rather than actually living in them, which makes the more emotional dementia-driven moments feel a bit rehearsed.

Of course, it’s worth noting that the content itself is relevant. Seeing a family deal with a relative’s deteriorating mental state should be impactful, but Forgotten Fortune goes to great lengths to round off that impact. It’s not always successful in conveying emotions. Mark Sherwood, playing Brian’s son Mark, stands out as one of the few who feels fully committed to selling the situation.



The mystery side? Let’s just say this isn’t exactly Knives Out. We meet the criminals early, and they’re not exactly criminal masterminds. The “murder” element feels less like a central hook and more like an excuse to keep the Alzheimer’s message moving forward. Even with a couple of bodies in play, the film maintains a surprisingly upbeat tone. Helped along by a soundtrack that politely tells you how to feel every step of the way.

Now, let’s talk about the nostalgia factor. Seeing Jimmie “JJ” Walker on screen again is a fun throwback, especially if you grew up with Good Times reruns like me. And then there’s Lou Ferrigno, forever tied to The Incredible Hulk. I’ll admit, I kept waiting for him to smash through a wall. Sadly, no such luck. Even more shocking? JJ Walker makes it through the entire movie without dropping a “Dyn-o-mite!” Honestly, that might be the biggest missed opportunity here.

The finale is where things wobble the most. There’s a bizarre sequence involving cops and criminals swapping guns like it’s some kind of low-budget Secret Santa. Strange choice. Not a great one, but definitely a memorable one for all the wrong reasons.

To its credit, Forgotten Fortune never feels overly preachy. The faith-based elements are clear but not aggressively pushed. And the core message about caring for aging family members and recognizing the signs of Alzheimer’s is sincere. To top it all off, the film ends on a meaningful note with some statistics.

At the end of the day, this is a very average watch with a clear target audience. If you’re in that lane, it may appeal to you. If not, like me, you might find yourself appreciating the intent more than the execution. And still wondering how you make a movie with JJ Walker and not let him say his line.

Forgotten Fortune (2026) #jackmeatsflix
Forgotten Fortune (2026)

There are no streaming links as of yet since this one hasn't been released. I probably wouldn't have run across this one if I hadn't been sent an early look from my buddy, Staci. So thank you! I know this will probably become the norm, but I am not a fan of seeing a notice on this screener informing me that "This video contains visuals and audio that were edited or generated by AI."

https://jackmeat.com/forgotten-fortune-2026/