Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2025) | This 104 minute trailer for part 3 has more robots & more noise, but when Fazfest happens, common sense leaves town. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.3/10. Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 picks up one year after the events at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a place whose very real horrors have been conveniently repackaged into a kitschy local myth complete with the town’s first-ever Fazfest. Former night guard Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and police officer Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) are still sitting on the truth, choosing to shield Mike’s 11-year-old sister Abby (Piper Rubio) from what really happened to her animatronic “friends.” Naturally, secrecy plus trauma plus sentient murder robots is a terrible combination, and when Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, the past comes roaring back with rusted joints and unfinished business.

I thought it opened strongly with a voiceover teasing a spectacle before launching into a flashback set twenty years earlier. A young girl senses that something is very wrong beneath the flashing lights and forced smiles, and her curiosity leads to a brief but genuinely unsettling peek behind the curtain. This sequence, capped off with a fun animated credit roll, is easily one of the sequel’s best moments.

Sadly, with the return to the present time comes the return to the more typical horror filler of obnoxiously loud “ghost hunters” that split up seconds after their entrance, as if they had scanned the manual on horror cliches on their way in. Because of the PG-13 rating, the gore is limited, so my hopes of a meaningful massacre are squashed quickly.

Director Emma Tammi returns and does manage to wring some eerie imagery out of the expanded locations, with several nicely framed shots that remind you why this franchise works visually. Audrey Lynn-Marie is particularly unsettling as Charlotte, delivering one of the film’s more disturbing performances. On the casting front, however, the script makes a baffling choice by introducing both a Michael (Freddy Carter) as Vanessa’s brother and a Mike as her boyfriend. The name confusion adds nothing but needless irritation. Matthew Lillard’s involvement as their father, on the other hand, is a welcome addition and a reminder of how much stronger the series feels when it leans into its legacy players.

Where the movie goes from bad to worse is in terms of writing, Scott Cawthon. The last act of this movie is a mash of plot points, most of which are glossed over with a simplistic "because it’s a plot point" explanation. The bigger, better sequel angle, I guess, involves this movie being larger than the first. There are more animatronic enemies, there are more places to explore, there is more noise, but bigger doesn’t always mean better.

The plot, of course, relies on a string of dumb luck moments, including a "car broke down in the middle of nowhere" bit where help conveniently shows up without a second’s notice. Perhaps even dumber, however, is this location being abandoned and left to decay, but conveniently located a stone’s throw from everyone.

Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2025)

In the end, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 is consistent with the first film but not an improvement. It feels less like a complete movie and more like a 104-minute trailer for Part 3, with some cool animatronic designs sprinkled in for good measure. Stick around through the credits if you need confirmation. The sequel bait is loud and proud. I was hoping this round would level up. Instead, the script collapses like an announcer’s table at a WWE pay-per-view.

https://jackmeat.com/five-nights-at-freddys-2-2025/

Now You See Me: Now You Don't (2025) | A fun, flashy sequel that adds new blood but sidelines the originals. Enjoyable misdirection, just not peak Horsemen magic. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.2/10. I went into Now You See Me: Now You Don’t cautiously optimistic. I enjoyed the first two films for what they were - slick, globe-trotting magic capers that leaned hard into style, misdirection, and charm even when logic took a backseat. With this third entry positioning itself as the closing chapter of a trilogy (at least for now), the big question was whether it could stick the landing. The answer is… mostly, but not without fumbling a few cards along the way.

The setup is familiar but escalated. The original Horsemen are reunited, this time partnering with younger illusionists, for a challenge against the likes of Veronika Vanderberg (Rosamund Pike), the heiress of a vast diamond fortune running a criminal enterprise based on money laundering and human trafficking. It’s a tougher, more ruthless villain, which, theoretically, is the perfect premise for the Horsemen to finish what they started. Instead, the film splits its focus a little too evenly, and that’s where things start to wobble.

We’re introduced to several new players, and I’ll say this without spoiling anything: if I were Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), my answer would’ve been, “I’ll take you two, and you” - pointing directly at Bosco (Dominic Sessa) - “can go jump in the nearest pond.” That reaction is clearly intentional, and to Sessa’s credit, he plays the role exactly as designed. The problem is that the movie never fully earns the payoff for that annoyance. Justice Smith’s Charlie, the resident brainiac, and Ariana Greenblatt’s June, a sleight-of-hand prodigy, are solid additions, but they’re sketched so thin that it’s hard to truly care about them beyond their usefulness to the plot.

The returning cast is where the movie shines. Isla Fisher is back (fresh off Playdate), and it’s great to have her energy reintroduced into the mix. Woody Harrelson and Dave Franco slide effortlessly back into Merritt and Jack Wilder, and Morgan Freeman’s Thaddeus remains a welcome presence. The film really leans into franchise nostalgia too. Yes, Lula (Lizzy Caplan) pops up, and yes, there’s a little sequel tease involving Mark Ruffalo’s Dylan for anyone wondering if there’s still life left in this series.

There’s plenty of expected magic and glossy misdirection, and the final heist is visually impressive. Unfortunately, it lacks the deeply satisfying payoff that made the first two films so much fun. The twists feel forced, the revenge-driven plot drags, and sidelining the now five-member Horsemen in favor of underdeveloped newcomers is a questionable choice.

Still, this isn’t a bad movie, just a missed opportunity. The cast carries it, the energy is mostly there, and if you loved the first two, you’ll find enough spectacle to enjoy. I just don’t feel the same level of magic.

Now You See Me: Now You Don't (2025)

https://jackmeat.com/now-you-see-me-now-you-dont-2025/

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) | Festive traditions become weapons of mass dysfunction as the Griswolds prove Christmas spirit survives even during total household collapse. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 8.5/10. How I have never actually reviewed National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation before is beyond me, especially considering this thing has been burned into my DNA through decades of annual rewatches. And when I say “classic,” I don’t mean polite, background-noise classic. I mean full-blown, never-gets-old, laugh-even-though-you-know-the-punchline-is-coming classic. This is assuming, of course, you appreciate the finely tuned chaos of John Hughes’ writing and a cast that could sell a joke with a raised eyebrow and a well-timed glance. So another year, another rewatch, this time with notes, a cold beer, and a renewed appreciation for just how perfectly unhinged this movie really is.

The Griswold family’s plan for a big, wholesome Christmas predictably collapses within minutes, starting with the ill-advised family trip to cut down a “little” Christmas tree. From there, the film just keeps stacking disasters like Clark stacks extension cords. One-liners, slapstick, visual gags - it’s all here, deployed so effortlessly it feels almost unfair to other comedies. The house-lighting scene alone could fuel a dozen holiday traditions, and that bit with Clark hiding the present still lands every single time. I could honestly list scenes all day and not run out.

Then there’s the pool fantasy sequence, which somehow manages to be both iconic and completely devoid of nudity, a minor miracle that speaks volumes about Chevy Chase’s commitment to physical comedy and Jeremiah S. Chechik’s pitch-perfect direction. It doesn’t hurt that Nicolette Scorsese’s appearances, both at the store and poolside, are seared into cinematic, we'll call it, history. Chase’s Clark Griswold is a man powered entirely by optimism, denial, and the belief that his Christmas bonus will fix everything.

This is easily my favorite of all the Vacation films, and the supporting cast is a huge reason why. Beverly D’Angelo’s Ellen is the calm eye in the storm, Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki are perfectly cast as the perpetually confused Griswold kids, and there’s a delightful pre-Friends sighting of Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the aggressively judgmental neighbor. Clark’s bad luck escalates daily, especially once the extended family arrives, but he soldiers on, clinging to the promise of that bonus like it’s a sacred relic.

And then Uncle Eddie shows up. If you’ve seen the first Vacation, you know exactly the flavor of insanity Randy Quaid brings to the table. And yes, the sledding scene remains an all-timer, physics be damned. By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, the movie is firing jokes at machine-gun speed, including Aunt Bethany’s cat-related “gift,” which ends in one of the darkest, funniest sight gags ever put in a holiday movie.

When the bonus finally arrives, if you think it’s going to end well, you clearly haven’t been paying attention. I mean, it wouldn’t be Christmas Vacation if the Chicago SWAT team didn’t get involved. If you somehow haven’t seen this movie yet, you truly don’t know what you’re missing. Forever a staple of my annual Christmas viewing - and it probably should be in yours too.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

https://jackmeat.com/national-lampoons-christmas-vacation-1989/

Dear Santa (2024) | Jack Black steals the show as Satan in a festive misfire that teases dark comedy but settles for safe holiday laughs. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 5.4/10. Dear Santa starts with one of those concepts that immediately caught my attention. A well-meaning but naive sixth-grade student writes to Santa to show he exists, gets the address wrong due to dyslexia, and ends up summoning Satan instead. Even that, on its own, is a premise that feels like it’s crying out for either dark comedic gold or outright holiday horror mayhem. What it gets instead is something much more mundane, and, for the most part, squandered.

Robert Timothy Smith plays the role of Liam, a genuinely pleasant and lovable kid whose innocence and awkwardness are some of the most well-meaning aspects of this movie. He has some good comedic timing that does not cross the line of becoming annoying, and it’s clear that he’s just starting to take Satan’s advice and cut loose, and these are some of the best parts of the movie.

Jack Black, though, is the main attraction here. Casting him as Satan is a smart move, and unsurprisingly, he runs with it. His version of the Prince of Darkness is loud, theatrical, needy, and weirdly enthusiastic about finally having a fanboy. Black’s energy injects life into nearly every scene he’s in, and while his antics can’t fully rescue the movie from some questionable plot turns and a rather dreary backstory, they do keep it watchable. A surprise appearance from Ben Stiller as Lucifer is also a fun little bonus, even if it feels more like a novelty cameo than something integral to the story.

Another wasted opportunity I saw was Keegan-Michael Key as the child psychologist, and probably the biggest letdown. He’s barely given anything funny or memorable to do, which is baffling considering how much comedic mileage could’ve been squeezed out of that role. Similarly, the Post Malone scene feels completely out of place, stopping the movie dead for a moment that adds little beyond celebrity recognition.

The film also plays things very safe. Although IMDb has labeled it horror, there is not an ounce of horror anywhere in it. More macabre or dark notions are honed down in favor of a largely trendy, family-friendly approach, resulting in this movie being stuck in limbo, torn somewhere in between what it could have represented versus what it does. Rooted in an angle like this, going either fully darkly comedic or horror-oriented would have left it far more memorable.

Kai Cech, playing Liam’s crush Emma, is sweet and innocent here, especially compared to the ass kicker we saw her play in Marshmallow. The ending, however, is a head-scratcher and ultimately drags the whole experience down a notch.

Dear Santa (2024)

I appreciated that Dear Santa offered something new and interesting, although it didn't quite seem to live up to its own potential. For most of its running time, I was sitting at either a 5 or 6, but that ending pushed it closer to 5. However, Jack Black is definitely worth at least a single viewing during the holidays if you haven't already seen it.

https://jackmeat.com/dear-santa-2024/

The Christmas Spirit (2022) | An earnest but dull Christmas parable where angels intervene for problems most people solve without supernatural assistance. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 3.4/10. The Christmas Spirit is yet another reminder of my greatest cinematic weakness. Once a movie starts, I almost never shut it off. In this case, that commitment was tested early and often. Based on the title and the vague description I stumbled across beforehand, I was somehow expecting something wildly different, something closer to “a wrestling fan is instructed to kidnap a teenage girl who resembles his dead sister to save Christmas.” (IMDB) What I got instead was a Hallmark-looking, faith-forward holiday drama that wears its Christian messaging proudly on its sleeve. And yes, I watched the whole thing.

The story centers on Faith (Ricki Nelson), who returns home after learning of her father’s tragic death. She’s now faced with a supposed life-altering choice - continue her education or abandon her plans to take over her father’s ministry. While grappling with grief, she’s visited by an unwanted celestial guest, Gabriel (Amiri Koronz Thompson), who appears to guide her through her emotional turmoil and spiritual crossroads. On paper, it’s a familiar setup for these kinds of holiday films. On screen, it feels like something you’ve already seen a dozen times, just with different actors and a slightly tweaked sermon.

The film opens with some decent Christmas visuals, festive music, and a car accident to kickstart the drama, but things go downhill quickly. The acting is, bluntly, awful across the board. Faith herself is somewhat capable and clearly trying, which almost makes it worse, because nearly everyone around her feels like they wandered in from a community theater rehearsal they didn’t want to attend. Gabriel, in particular, looks painfully bored throughout the entire movie, as if this were his acting class final exam and attendance was mandatory.

Visually, the movie screams “low-budget Hallmark knockoff,” complete with awkward transitions and an endless stream of melodramatic music swelling in the background. The score never lets a single emotion breathe on its own, constantly telling you how to feel, even when nothing particularly emotional is happening. It was testing my patience really fast.

The biggest issue, though, is how predictable and unearned everything feels. These Christian holiday films often rely on familiar beats, but The Christmas Spirit doesn’t even try to justify its supernatural angle. Faith has no reason at all why she needs an angel to help with these issues. Losing a loved one, having issues with career path, and whether to follow their parent’s footsteps are all issues people face every day without the help of an angel. The film makes it so big and so special, but it doesn’t deserve it.

The meaning of the intended message is also a bit cloudy. While there is the religious messaging in there, there is also an awkward smattering of warnings pertaining to the dangers of greed and people trying to take advantage of you that simply doesn’t ring with the same sincerity and depth that the writers must have intended. Overall, the entire experience is anything but positive and is instead boring

The Christmas Spirit (2022)

I’m obviously not the target audience for family-friendly Christian holiday films, but even judging it on its own terms, The Christmas Spirit is a slog. Predictable, poorly acted, and emotionally flat, it’s the kind of movie that tests your endurance more than your holiday spirit - and sadly, mine survived it, but just barely.

https://jackmeat.com/the-christmas-spirit-2022/

Dead Snow 2 (2014) | Dead Snow 2 truly is The Sequel You Did Nazi Coming, embracing excess and stupidity in the most entertaining way possible. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.6/10. Dead Snow 2, later rebranded as Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead, kicks off with a recap of the first Dead Snow delivered by Martin (Geir Vegar Hoel), the unlucky survivor who famously hacked off his own arm in pure Evil Dead 2 fashion. If you’re worried the sequel might gently reset things, don’t be. It literally starts right where the first one ended, tossing Martin straight back into a snowy slap-fight with zombie Nazis. And I am glad it does.

After yet another narrow escape, Martin wakes up in a hospital and quickly discovers that his severed, infected arm has been surgically reattached. You don’t need to be a horror scholar to know exactly where that’s going, and Wirkola wastes no time milking it for both gore and laughs. The arm has opinions. Violent ones. And it sets the tone perfectly for a sequel that understands escalation is the name of the game.

Tommy Wirkola returns as writer/director, and this time he’s clearly been handed a bigger budget. Thankfully, more money hasn’t sanded off the rough edges. Instead, it just means Wirkola can afford a tank, more locations, and a significantly higher body count. The zombie Nazis are no longer content to loiter ominously in the mountains. They have ambitions now. World War II ambitions. After a stop at a WWII museum, Martin figures out the undead horde plans to finish the mission they were slaughtered before completing. Naturally, this involves recruiting more soldiers, the only way zombies know how: killing people and then touching their faces.

Here’s the twist - Martin’s zombie arm can recruit people, too. Suddenly, it’s undead fascists versus undead resistance fighters, which is not a sentence I ever expected to type with a straight face. While all this is happening, Martin accidentally alerts the Zombie Squad, an elite American team of undead-fighting specialists who fly over to Norway to help. They’re led by Daniel (Martin Starr), whom I realized I have been watching on Tulsa King, and his crew arrives armed, confident, and wildly unprepared for just how insane things are about to get.

Why stop there? Wirkola certainly doesn’t. The solution to the Nazi problem might involve resurrecting the Russian soldiers Herzog (Ørjan Gamst), the zombie Nazi leader, massacred during the war. Along the way, the Nazi advance leads to some wonderfully excessive pillaging, with intestines becoming frequent, enthusiastic participants. The bumbling policeman Gunga (Hallvard Holmen) is an idiot in the most lovable way, and the group’s zombie buddy (Kristoffer Joner) delivers consistent comic relief without wearing out his welcome.

The action is surprisingly well-choreographed, the Gore Factor is gleefully over-the-top, and the whole shebang has a morbid finale to the tune of Bonnie Tyler that’s just as expected. It even leaves viewers pondering that age-old question: Is sex with a zombie considered necrophilia?

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)

I'd have to say Dead Snow 2 sits comfortably alongside the original - same silly tone, same extreme gore, and the same sense that the filmmakers watched Dead Alive on repeat and thought, “Haven't seen Mum yet.” A must-see for horror-comedy fans around Christmas who like their splatter served with a wink and a chainsaw.

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2-2014/

Dead Snow (2009) | Dead Snow proves Christmas movies don’t need joy when they have zombie Nazis and enough gore to melt the ice. #jackmeatsflix

My quick rating - 6.4/10. Dead Snow is the kind of movie that hears the phrase “Bad Taste” and just rockets a snowmobile right on top of it, thank the gods. Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola, this Norwegian splatter-comedy takes a simple premise and gleefully drowns it in buckets of the red stuff, and splatters it all over undead Nazis who refuse to stay dead.

The setup is classic cabin-in-the-woods territory. Eight medical students head out on a ski trip to a remote mountain lodge in Norway, looking for booze, bonding, and a temporary escape from responsibility. What they get instead is a history lesson soaked in arterial spray. An early scene teases the presence of Nazi zombies backed by some Christmas tunes before shifting focus to the group, which turns out to be a smart move. By the time the undead soldiers march back into frame, you’re already settled in and ready for the carnage.

Visually, Dead Snow looks far better than its budget might suggest. The snowy mountain landscapes are gorgeous, the glowing tent scene is legitimately striking, and the stark white environment makes every splash of red pop like a Jackson Pollock painting gone feral. When the movie needs to turn up the gore, and it absolutely does, it doesn’t hesitate. Severed limbs, exposed organs, fountains of blood…if you ever wondered how much viscera can stain snow, this movie treats it like a science experiment.

What really makes this work, however, is the way that tones are balanced. The horror is quite graphic, but it is also a part of the fun. The Nazis zombies are automatically comedic characters. While the movie does not overdo the humor and make all of the other characters comedic as a result of the zombies’ presence, this ends up creating a believable dynamic. This allows the violence to be that much more shocking and the humor that much funnier. When panic sets in, it feels earned. When someone does something incredibly stupid, it feels earned, too.

Horror fans will catch plenty of affectionate nods along the way. One character sporting a Braindead (aka Dead Alive) shirt is a nice wink, and there’s a very obvious - and very welcome - homage to Evil Dead II when the group gears up in a shed for their last stand. Add in snowmobiles tearing across the mountains, a perfectly chosen party song backing a zombie massacre, and a siege sequence in a remote cabin, and you’ve got a movie that knows exactly what it’s doing.

Don’t expect a warm, fuzzy Hollywood ending here. Dead Snow commits to its chaos and leaves you splattered and grinning like an idiot. It’s an unrelenting shock-feast, laced with black humor and tongue firmly in cheek, delivering exactly what it promises. If you’re in the mood for stupendous gore, undead armies roaming the countryside, and a movie that understands that “zombie Nazis” is already a punchline, this one is an absolute holiday blast.

Dead Snow (2009)

https://jackmeat.com/dead-snow-2009/